Today’s IMDB Top 250 Guest Review comes from Eric of The IPC. He’s already done a bonkers review of Se7en (which you can read HERE) and now he’s back to give us another review in typical Eric-style. 😉 Thanks so much for joining in on this IMDB thing, Eric! Now let’s see what he has to say about Twelve Monkeys, IMDB rank 180 out of 250…
There are still some movies up for grabs if anyone wants to do a guest IMDB Top 250 review. You can find the list HERE. See the full list & links to all the films that have been reviewed HERE.
Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
In a future world devastated by disease, a convict is sent back in time to gather information about the man-made virus that wiped out most of the human population on the planet.
12 MONKEYS – 1995
We’ve all seen 12 MONKEYS, right? RIGHT??? RIGHT???!!!??? Well, since we’ve all seen it at least 30 times, I recently constructed a highly safe, comfortable, humane movie theater and screened it for twelve monkeys who hadn’t seen it. Using my high tech and professional recording devices, let’s see what they had to say.
Subject 1: Babboo Jones
That was pretty good, Meester. That was made by Terry Gilliam?? The Monty Python guy?? Not bad, I need to see some more of his shit. Can I get my fucking bananas now???
Subject 2: Peepers “Stinky Butt” Brown
They “live underground like worms?????” YIKES!! Also – LOL!!! “You are the most bootiful woman I have ever seen” HAHAHAHAHA!!! Even I can spell better than that I’m a shit eating monkey!!!!
Subject 3: Johnny “Stinkfinger” Harris
Remember when Brad Pitt was cool?? Remember when he’d do character stuff like this?? Now he’s all ‘I’m fuckin’ Brad Pitt!! Look at my woman’s hair!!!” and shit. What a dope. OOOPS, sorry, just farted.
Subject 4: Daniel Isaacs (no relation)
Time Travel, eh? Interesting. I like how it’s new for them and it’s not always correct. Hey – was that Arthur Dent?? The original one. From the TV show.
Subject 5: Raul Buena Vista De La Munoz
What the fuck is that smell coming from the break room??? It smells like broccoli and SHIT. Excuse me for a minute.
Subject 6: Caitlynn “Like A Whisper” Simpson-Bonilla
I like how we had to look at Bruce Willis’ butt. Not once but TWICE! MEEEEEEOOOOOW PUSSYCAT!!!
Subject 7: (name redacted)
DID HE JUST EAT A FUCKING SPIDER??!?!!!??????!!!!
Subject 8: Lisa “The Angel” Scheueczk
I really liked how it ended with the ki – DID I JUST HEAR A GUNSHOT?????!?!
(audible screams from outside screening room)
I have blood on my hands…. I HAVE BLOOD ON MY HANDS!!!!!!
Subject 9: Phillip “The Distance” Fudge (that’s really his last name)
“The boy is hiding in a barn” CLASSIC!!
Subject 10: Jeffrey “Bleeding Gums” Johnson
This is a total Sci-Fi classic – all the way! Great acting and story telling! I’m VERY hungry. VERY.
Subject 11: Jimmy “The Schnozz” Durante
Where’s the fucking food??? HA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA.
NOTE: At this point the subjects were becoming unruly due to lack of feeding. The Alpha soon took charge.
Subject 12: BRIAN @ HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO
EAT SHIT ISAACS!!! HERE COMES A KNUCKLE BALL!!!! (flings a handful of fresh poop)
And with that, the session ended and I was left with quite a mess to clean up.
**Terry Gilliam has called 12 Monkeys “part of a dystopian satire trilogy or Orwellian triptych” begun with Brazil and ending with The Zero Theorem. Without meaning to, I guess Eric & I have recently reviewed this “trilogy”. You can read his review of Brazil HERE and my review of The Zero Theorem HERE.
Fantastic works guys!
Dearest JB,
I thank you so very much. Please avoid tools at your work.
Love,
Chop
Dearest Chop,
I sincerely appreciate the words of wisdom.
Love,
JB
My JB,
If I am ever over there in the land you live in, I will break them.
Love!
Chop
Kind Chop,
Truly my hero and protector, though there are thousands of kilometres between us, I still feel cared for. This toolbag has NO idea who they are crossing daily!
Love,
JB
JB,
That fucker will understand pain.
Love,
Chop
This is one of the best reviews I’ve ever seen. SHAKMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Hi Brian – I can never tell if you’re being a smartass or not. So: Thanks, I think. You Cocksucker.
I think it’s safest to assume that Brian is always being a smart ass…
True!!!
#thetruth
very interesting way to review such a movie 🙂
We encourage innovation here at Cinema Parrot Disco.
you call this innovation? sounds more like monkeys throwin poop at the screen 🙂
Don’t be a wanker.
🙂
🙂
I was trying to be funny. guess it didnt work this time 🙂
LOL – I know you were! I’ve been throwing that word around lately because our host here used it recently.
“Wanker” – what is this, the 60s??? Crazy Brits.
Lol! That word is used many times on a daily basis in the UK in 2014 as well… ; )
WHAT KIND OF A PLACE IS THIS???????
One full of wankers ; )
I see………………………….
#snog
High art and education today on Cinema Parrot Disco.
As always! : )
#CPDEqualsClass
Class and Cuddles!
#slap
I know plenty (too many) Brits, so I know what a wanker is. Now exactly the same as we Americans would think 🙂
They also have a strange meaning for the word “bugger” as in he buggered me all night.
crazy Brits! Long live the colonists! 🙂
Go team USA!!! WOO HOO!!!!!
TOOT TOOT!!!
Btw, dude – thanks again for the review. : ) Guest reviews are the only thing getting any action around these parts! ; ) I sooo need to rewatch this. No, I’ve not watched it 30 times. Only once. I did like it quite a bit but don’t remember much now. And, hey – Brad Pitt is still cool! And pretty. Still very pretty…
My pleasure!!
#pleasure
I guess this review is more of an expressionistic piece ;).
“High Art”!!!!
I saw poop in a can in the Tate Modern once so I think you’re free to call this art… ; )
HIGH art!!!
Poop…. in a TREE!
So we know how Eric felt about the film, but what about those monkeys? Wait…those pictures WEREN’T pictures of Eric from various angles? Oh. Whoops. 😉 Nice job, you two monkeys! Very funny. I’ve never seen this. Guess I should change that?
I need to rewatch this one as well! Yeah… Eric IS a bit of a monkey. Hard to tell the difference. Think it’s all that flinging of poo. : )
LOL. Exactly.
I cant believe I have never finished this movie either. We got probs!
Cara Gale!! You need to go see this right away.
*Readies poop*
This is perfect. Films should always be reviewed by twelve monkeys!
not sure we should be encouraging him. with ideas like this Anna, he’ll probably start a new site that just reviews movies from by the twelve monkeys 🙂
He can add it to his 21 other blogs! Lol!
I AGREE!!!!
LOL what a poop flinging good time of a review this was.
LOL!! THANKS!!!