House At The End Of The Street (2012)
Directed by Mark Tonderai
Nolan Gerard Funk
Running time: 101 minutes
Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The film’s plot revolves around a teenage girl named Elissa who, along with her newly divorced mother Sarah, moves to a new neighborhood only to discover that the house at the end of the street was the site of a gruesome double murder committed by a girl named Carrie Anne who disappeared without a trace. Elissa then starts a relationship with Carrie Anne’s brother Ryan, who now lives in the same house.
Well, this was a load of shit. That was easy! Review over. 😉
Okay – I suppose it’s not the absolute worst “PG-13 horror” EVER but when you’re old like me & you’ve seen a million movies, you like to see something that feels at least somewhat original. The “surprise” ending was soooo NOT surprising – it’s been done before and done much better. Honestly, the ending is just plain stupid and almost felt like an insult to the audience. However, maybe I’m just too old & bitter. A young teen who hasn’t watched many movies like this may like it okay and not say “Really?! Oh, fuck off!” to the screen at the end. (Yes, I did tell this movie to fuck off)
I knew this was meant to be pretty bad but I figured I’d check it out anyway as I like Jennifer Lawrence okay and have loved Elisabeth Shue since my teenage obsession with Adventures In Babysitting. I know Shue has been in some dodgy shit in recent years but what’s Lawrence doing in this?? Well, both actresses do the best they can with the material, I guess. Lawrence’s character of course doesn’t listen to her mother’s warnings and keeps hanging out with Ryan, the son of the murdered couple who used to live next door (and possible psychopath??? who knows! and who the fuck cares!). This is just one of those movies where the characters do stupid things that annoy you. I was bored. I was only half paying attention at the end and ended up thoroughly confused over a couple of things but couldn’t be arsed to rewind and rewatch. So I filled in the gaps reading Wikipedia. Yeah, I didn’t miss much – the story was still shit!
This sucks. A boring and thoroughly unoriginal example of PG-13 horror BLANDNESS. Ugh. I don’t recommend this unless you’ve never ever watched another movie in your life. If this is the first movie you ever watch, maybe you won’t be able to guess what will happen pretty much every step of the way. However, if you’ve never ever watched a movie before, it would make me really sad if you started with this one! So, yeah – I guess I don’t actually recommend this to anyone.
My Rating: 4/10
**I saw this great YouTube video recently called “WTF Happened To PG-13?” that I thought would be good to share now. I know I’ve said before that I’m a wuss on extreme violence and am sometimes happier with my “PG-13” horror films. However, I hate how the rating is too often used just for BAD teenage horror and often also as an excuse to release some “uncut” version later on DVD. The video shows how PG-13 used to push the boundaries of the PG rating and nowadays, instead, it’s used water down R-rated films and turn them into “PG-13 Blandness” like this. Anyway – it’s an interesting video if you want to check it out. 🙂
Great review, made me chuckle! I don’t watch a lot of thriller/horror films and mainly watched this for Jennifer Lawrence alone. I thought it was okay, but then I haven’t seen as many films as you so the ending was a surprise for me! 😀
Lol – I think I’m just old and bitter! 😉 I HAVE probably seen way too many movies so can be a little picky. 😉
There is nothing wrong with liking some J.Law in your life. She’s a marvel.
Also, I wanted to tell you this T9, because I know you’ll appreciate it.
I was watching Back to The Future this weekend with some girlfriends and someone said that they would have loved to bang Michael J. back in the day. And I said “No, banging him now is the obvious choice. Because he’s always doing the work, even he’s on the bottom.” hahaha! It killed. It was awesome.
Um…. Hahahaha!!!!! Smash! I’ve missed you!!!!! lmao! You do know me – I totally appreciate this story… 😉
C’mon, man! That was FUNNY!
You KNOW Eric loved it! 😉
I’ve been thinking about it for the last few hours….
Are you STILL thinking about it?
LOL awesome write up Miss Mutant, lots of laughs in here! I thought for a second this was another movie I was thinking of. Nope.
PS: I’ll try watch the video tomorrow. So much work right now.
Lol. DO NOT BOTHER with this one!!! Ugh. 🙂
Skipping it, thanks!
This movie was all kinds of bullshit. Good call.
TOTAL BULLSHIT!!!!!!! 🙂
You can tell that Lawrence made this movie before she got big and the only reason why it got released was because she actually did become big. And it shows, too, because it blows. Good review.
Thanks. 🙂 lol – This movie definitely blows!
Ah, I didn’t think it was THAT BAD. OK, it was pretty bad but not as bad as the shitty piece of shitting shit I watched yesterday, called “Stichface”. “Shitface”, more like. Urgh.
Awesome video, by the way. Thanks for sharing. As a horror fan I find it fascinating – how DO they decide what rating to give? Studio pressure for as low a rating as possible, notwithstanding. I wonder if there’s an equivalent review for the UK rating system?
Lol! That does sound like a shitty piece of shitting shit… 😉 I’m still confused by British ratings sometimes! I mean, a US PG-13 is sometimes a 15 here I think, which seems too high. Or maybe it’s the equivalent of 12A?? Don’t know but it IS all a bit weird how they decide what rating to give things. Like, in America, sex stuff will result in a higher rating than pretty excessive violence, which is totally ridiculous.
Yeah, ratings can be baffling. I’ve seen films that I thought were pretty tame with high age ratings and vice versa. They seem very inconsistent.
I think the UK ratings are clearer than the US ones, although they don’t seem to be directly equivalent to each other which is confusing.
A bit of a blotch on J-Law’s otherwise infallible record, but I sort of (guiltily) enjoyed it. Ha! It is universally stupid though. Great write-up. 🙂
Thanks! Lol – that’s okay – we all have our guilty pleasures. I know I like some truly dodgy films! 😉
Probably won’t waste my breath on this one, but Jennifer Lawrence *almost* makes it seem worth it for laughing at your TV/computer for an hour and a half. Still, though. . .meh. Nah.
The title of the film is bland as all fuck
Lol. The movie is bland as all fuck too so I guess the title is perfect for it. 😉 Hmm… Nah – not even really worth watching for Lawrence!
If this movie isn’t 90 minutes of that guy trying to bang them both then I’m at a loss.
Of course not! He only tries to bang one of them. You weirdo. 😉 (So which one would YOU go for?!)
Yeah. This one sucks, huh? I had hoped for better from JLaw…but no. Sorry for your suffering. I should’ve warned you against this…
Ha! That’s okay – it was a Netflix thing. I watch loads of crap on Netflix. Crap movies are sometimes good for giving you the opportunity to second screen and tweet or catch up on blogging while half watching shit like this. 😉
Haha well there you go–not a complete loss!
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I agree with every word of this; great write-up!
Thanks, Gary!!! 🙂 This one was rubbish. 😦 (Sorry for the late reply! I took some time off from blogging & missed loads of comments…)
Sounds horrible I always see this one on TBS or one of those random cable channels. No matter how old she gets, she will always be Chris from Adventures in Babysitting!
It IS horrible. Avoid!!!! Lol – Adventures In Babysitting RULES!!!!!! 🙂
When in doubt I can always count on Adventures in Babysitting!
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