I think everyone knows that most songs are either about sex or drugs, right? I usually pick up on the sex ones but never the drug ones (I was shocked that Golden Brown by The Stranglers was about heroin! I’m so naïve).
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about doing this list for a while but there are so many dirty songs that it took me ages to put this together. I’ll have missed plenty! This time, I needed some help online. I did manage to verify that most of these are indeed about sex (Dave Grohl – you naughty boy! He’s a big fan of doing what his is about, apparently). But some are my own interpretation (or dirty mind, maybe). I’m happy to hear from anyone who disagrees with any of these! I looked at a lot of different websites for these dirty songs but the site I probably looked at the most was songfacts.com.
For the most part, I’ve tried to choose ones that are slightly more “subtle”. I think the subtle ones are so much better than the really blatant songs about sex (rap is so blatant!). I especially like my number one – it’s subtle yet also so obvious if you give it the slightest bit of thought. I was just too young to give it much thought at the time it came out! Filthy.
I’ve decided to eliminate certain artists who seem to sing about sex in the majority of their songs. Filthy bastards! And most are really blatant anyway. So I’m leaving out songs by Aerosmith, Prince, Kiss, AC/DC, Van Halen, Mötley Crüe, and The Rolling Stones. Oh, and Led Zeppelin– all their songs are either about sex or Hobbits. And as there are so many, I’ll count down from 20 once again. Yeah, but I’ll still call it a Top Ten to be annoying. 😉
So here are My Top Ten Songs That Are Actually About Sex (counting down from 20):
Top Twenty:
20. Lady Gaga – The Edge of Glory
What It’s About: Orgasm
Lyrics: I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge. I’m on the edge of glory, and I’m hangin’ on a moment with you. I’m on the edge with you.
19. Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
What It’s About: Sex (not having to masturbate)
Lyrics: Wake me up before you go go. ‘Cause I’m not plannin’ on going solo. Wake me up before you go go. Take me dancing tonight. I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah.
18. Madness – House Of Fun
What It’s About: Buying condoms for the first time
Lyrics: Good morning Miss. Can I help you son? Sixteen today, and up for fun. I’m a big boy now, or so they say. So if you’ll serve, I’ll be on my way. (Thanks to the conversation on my review HERE). 😉
17. Loverboy – Lovin’ Every Minute Of It
What It’s About: A Vibrator
Lyrics: I’m not man or machine, I’m just something in between.
16. Dan Hartman – I Can Dream About You
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: I can dream about you. If I can’t hold you tonight. I can dream about you. You know how to hold me just right.
15. Grace Jones – Pull Up To The Bumper
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Pull up to my bumper baby, in your long black limousine. Pull up to my bumper baby, and drive it in between.
14. Bryan Adams – Summer Of ’69
What It’s About: Sexual awakening and, literally, “69”
Lyrics: It was the summer of ’69, oh, yeah. Me and my baby in ’69, oh.
13. The Beatles – Ticket To Ride
What It’s About: German hookers (the medical card German hookers had to prove they had no diseases was called a “ticket to ride”)
Lyrics: She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. But she don’t care.
12. Bloc Party – Banquet
What It’s About: Oral Sex
Lyrics: She’s got such a dirty mind and it never ever stops. And you don’t taste like her and you never ever will.
11. Duran Duran – Save A Prayer
What It’s About: A one night stand
Lyrics: Some people call it a one night stand but we can call it paradise.
Top Ten:
10. Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died In Your Arms
What It’s About: Orgasm (as in the Shakespearian meaning – no actual dirty lyrics. Nice job!)
Lyrics: Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight.
9. Melanie – Brand New Key
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Well I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key. I think that we should get together and try them out you see.
8. Madonna – Like A Prayer
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: When you call my name it’s like a little prayer. I’m down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there.
7. The Vapors – Turning Japanese
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics:
I’ve got your picture, I’ve got your picture. I’d like a million of them all round my cell. I want the doctor to take your picture. So I can look at you from inside as well.
6. Violent Femmes – Blister In The Sun
What It’s About: Masturbation. Although the Violent Femmes deny this.
Lyrics: Let me go on… like I blister in the sun. Let me go on… big hands, I know you’re the one.
5. Foo Fighters – All My Life
What It’s About: Oral sex
Lyrics: Hey don’t let it go to waste, I love it but I hate the taste.
4. Faith No More – Epic
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: It’s dark, it’s moist, it’s a bitter pain. It’s sad it happened and it’s a shame.
3. The Cure – Close To Me
What It’s About: Masturbation. Or Sex. Who knows for sure – it’s Robert Smith!
Lyrics: Just try to see in the dark, just try to make it work. To feel the fear before you’re here.
2. Billy Idol/Generation X – Dancing With Myself
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: When there’s no-one else in sight, in the crowded lonely night. Well I wait so long, for my love vibration. And I’m dancing with myself.
1. Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Open up your fruitcage, where the fruit is as sweet as can be.
I’ll talk more about Sledgehammer for tomorrow’s Music Video Friday. This is the kind of filth that I like – clever innuendo that kids wouldn’t pick up on. Plus I love Peter Gabriel. 🙂
Okay – there are way too many dirty songs. Here are some more & what they seem to be about:
Hozier – Take Me To Church (Sex)
Kelis – Milkshake (Shaking her boobies)
Missy Elliot – Work It (Sex)
Fleetwood Mac – Tusk (Mick Fleetwood’s penis)
Nirvana – Heart-Shaped Box (Uterus)
Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me (Sex)
The Pointer Sisters – Slow Hand (Sex)
ZZ Top – Pearl Necklace (Orgasm)
Whitesnake – Here I Go Again (Masturbation)
Cyndi Lauper – She Bop (Masturbation)
Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah (Orgasm)
And, okay – here are just a few of the thousands of blatant ones:
Sheena Easton – Sugar Walls (Vagina)
Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax (Sex)
Ted Nugent – Cat Scratch Fever (Sex) (Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand…)
Nina Simone – I Need A Little Sugar In My Bowl (Sex)
Azealia Banks – 212 (Oral Sex, possibly in a 3 way)
Salt-N-Pepa – Shoop (Sex) (I’ll forever think of Deadpool now)
Warrant – Cherry Pie (Sex)
Finally, I’ll end with the video for a f*^ked-up song that I’ve found bizarrely fascinating since the first time I heard it & which still pops into my head when making sandwiches. It’s clearly not about making sandwiches…
Detroit Grand Pubahs – Sandwiches
Cinema Parrot Disco 
I’d never thought of Edge of Glory like that. Like a Prayer can be interpreted a few ways but given Madonna’s use of sexuality throughout her career, it’s not hard to connect something sexual with her music.
Yeah, I think Madonna is comparing love & faith in the same way that Take Me To Church song does. : )
This is AWESOME! We used to have our own version of Golden Brown back when Gordon Brown was still the Prime Minister.
“Gordon Brown, texture like mud.
Always a frown with Gordon Brown”
Now that is all I hear when I hear that song. (I almost typed dong… wonder what that means).
Lol. I knew there were Gordon Brown versions of that song. And I’m always almost typing dong instead of song! S & D are too close. My top ten dongs about sex. Hmm…. Aren’t they all about sex?! : )
Are you sure you don’t just have a very prurient mind and just turn all lyrics into innuendo? Especially if you think “Stairway To Heaven” is about sex….. 😉 😛
Nah! I’m pure. I just think that OTHER people MAY think these songs are about sex. Yeah. That’s it. ; ) lol. Oh – if Stairway To Heaven isn’t about sex, then it must be about Hobbits! : )
Wow There are a lot of good perverted tunes to get down to in a list like this. I’m surprised you had not one Lords of Acid or Peaches song in your list. True, neither are subtle. but their whole catalog is about sex.
Don’t know any Lords of Acid but love Peaches. Too filthy, though – I’d certainly have to include her entire catalogue!! Lol ; )
Just watched the Faith No More, Epic video. Loved that song when it was popular. Never thought about the lyrics much but the video makes a lot more sense now 🙂 Except for that flopping fish at the end…oh wait a minute…
Lol! Yeah…. The video does kind of make sense after you figure out what the song is about. ; ) I still love that song – I thought Faith No More were great. : )
You’ve covered quite a lot. The first one that came to mind was JC Chasez and All Night Long I think about Sex and I touch Myself. I think those might belong in your last list haha.
Hehe. True…. I was trying to pick the slightly less blatant ones but I could stick them in the blatant list at the end. ; ) I like subtle dirtiness! Lol
Peter Gabriel & THe cure in the top 3 – Yes!
HELL yeah! ; ) lol
xD Such an entertaining list. No Stones broke my heart, but it is also totally understandable!
Ha! Thanks! Yeah… I think they just have a few too many that I’d have had to include. : )
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Great list, and it’s a longstanding tradition among songwriters and singers to introduce such naughty things most coyly. This oldie cover of a ’50s number by the great Julie London instantly came to mind as I read this:
Ha! I don’t know that song…. Isn’t it just about trick or treating?? ; )
Maybe when Rosemary Clooney, George’s aunt, crooned it, but Julie’s sultry delivery left a different interpretation, I think 😉
And if you’re on our own lets not forget Pictures Of Lily-The Who and if you’re in New York..Some Girls-Rolling Stones..and..oh yeah..if you like old blues that get right down to it Lucille Bogan and Shave ‘Em Dry
I almost included that Who song. Surprising just HOW many songs are specifically about that. ; ) I don’t know the blues one but it certainly sounds filthy! Lol. I saw a lot of blues ones listed when I looked up dirty songs. Not a genre I know a lot about. : )
I knew I forgot one:I Touch Myself-Divinyls
One reply mentioned the great Julie London and that reminded me of the title track of her album,Nice Girls Don’t Stay For Breakfast.
Regarding the Lucille Brogan song..the uncensored version puts it all out there.
Ha! I’ll have to check these dirty songs out. Of these, I’ve only heard of, well, the Divinyls. ; )
WOW! I really seem to have a very clean brain (surprisingly, and realised only tonight), because I never thought that any of these songs were so obviously about sexy time!
And I just bet this post will have the most hits for a long time haha
Lol! You’re so sweet & innocent… ; ) It’s weird the posts that get hits – I think it’s dirty images that get views more than dirty “words”. Or whatever. Time will tell, I suppose! I think nothing will beat my daily views on the shower scenes post. : )
Turming Japanese was on the juke box in the cafeteria when I was at art college. Whenever I hear it I’m transported back to that time. 🙂
I love songs that do that! I don’t have any specific memories attached to Turning Japanese but I love it in all its cheesy 80’s glory. : )
Dancing with myself HAHAHA I k love that 🙂 No shame in the name yo 😉 Sledgehammer sounds kinda catchy and the vid’s also pretty cool! Nice post as always, damn, I haven’t checked out your posts for a while 😦
I love the song Dancing With Myself! That’s easily one of my favorites on this list. Sledgehammer is a classic. : ) Yeah, work is super busy for me at the moment so I’ve not been on the blogs. 😦 No worries! We all stop by when we have the time! : )
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