Alien: Covenant (2017) Review

Alien: Covenant (2017)

**Spoiler-free ranting below**

Directed by Ridley Scott

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demiรกn Bichir

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
The crew of a colony ship, bound for a remote planet, discover an uncharted paradise with a threat beyond their imagination, and must attempt a harrowing escape.

My Opinion:

I’ll keep this brief and of course spoiler-free as I know Alien: Covenant isn’t yet out in America.

I’m a huge fan of the first two Alien films. I’ve never talked about them on this blog because I’m not a good writer and I find it hard to review the films I love the most (I made an attempt to review favorites, which I called CPD Classics, but gave up after a while as it took too long to write those). I can’t find the right words to express the awesomeness of those first two films. The H.R. Giger designs (above all else), the mood, the horror, the mystery, the action of the second film plus a great set of characters, Hicks (hottie), the knife/hand thing and, of course, a kick-ass female. Those first two films are perfection. I suppose that’s why every Alien film since those has been such a huge disappointment. How can you top those? You can’t. And Alien: Covenant is yet another massive disappointment.

I didn’t read any reviews at all before seeing this but the main comment I couldn’t help but see several times on Twitter was that “it starts out okay & almost feels like an Alien film but then turns into Prometheus 2“. That’s exactly right. If you liked Prometheus, you’ll probably like Covenant. If you hated Prometheus, I doubt you’ll like this one. I’m no fan of Prometheus. To be honest, I barely remember it now as I never watched it again after going to the cinema to see it. I wouldn’t say I hated it as I will probably always watch each & every movie that explores the Alien universe as it’s an overall idea that I absolutely love but, man – I wish they’d stop f*^king things up so much!

You know what? I actually think I like Prometheus slightly more now. Compared to Covenant, it’s probably the better of the two. Yikes. It’s like having to choose between two horrible candidates & having to go with the lesser of two evils. Prometheus kept things slightly more simple whereas Scott feels like he’s aimlessly & pointlessly overcomplicating things now. The mystery of the alien race in the first film is a big part of what makes the entire Alien universe so horrifying. Stop trying to explain everything. Stop showing us too much. Stop all the pretentiousness. Make an Alien film. Stop making Prometheus films, dammit. How are so many filmmakers & studios so damn clueless as to what the public actually want?

Okay – maybe it’s time to stop making these films altogether. Or perhaps let someone else take over again (Villeneuve’s Blade Runner 2049 looks fairly promising so far). Either way, I’m pretty good at blocking things out of my mind when I want to and these sequels & prequels have yet to ruin the legacy of the first two films for me. But I grew up with the first two during my early teen film-loving beginnings. How much are these newer films damaging those first ones for the current generation?

I can’t be bothered with this “review”. I’m just annoyed. BUT, I did go in with very low expectations (I’m not stupid). Therefore, I’m not as annoyed as I seem since I got what I pretty much expected. Like with Prometheus, I didn’t exactly hate this film. I just try to think of these films as a separate sort of thing (kind of like with the Star Wars prequels). They mostly suck but there are moments that I enjoy thanks to my love of the original films (the moments that feel like an Alien film & not a Prometheus film and there are a few of these, luckily). Michael Fassbender (hottie) is very good. He steals the show. I just wish they could’ve made us care about this set of characters as much those in Aliens (but that wasn’t Scott). Other than Fassbender, everyone is very one-dimensional & their relationships felt forced for added drama (most of the those on the Covenant are married to someone else on the ship – what’s with all the romantic connections?).

Oops – I was trying to end with only positive comments to help explain why I’m not giving this a lower rating after all my bitching. Um. There’s a Xenomorph. There’s a facehugger. There’s bursting. That’s why the score isn’t lower. God I’m shallow. If they make another one of these movies, I know I’ll still watch the damn thing even though it’s 99% likely that at least 75% of it will suck. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But if I had to rank all these now (not counting those AVP ones), Covenant is probably at the very bottom. That’s so not what I wanted. Why do I continue to live in the hope that there could ever be another good Alien film?

My Rating: 6.5/10*

*I’m being way too generous. Because it’s an Alien film. Sort of. But not really. Damn.

35 thoughts on “Alien: Covenant (2017) Review

    • I think I liked it a bit more than you. It’s a lot better than Prometheus. Well, a bit better than Prometheus. At least the characters aren’t all total morons.

      Actually, I thought all the Alien type stuff, the action scenes, was a bit dull — it’s all just repetitive of stuff we’ve seen before. And it was so dark. That’s fine for the horror stuff, but all the stuff dangling off the spaceship… It was definitely darker than the trailer — I don’t know if that’s different grading or if my cinema needs to turn their brightness up!

      Anyway, I’ll write a full review at some point. It could’ve been worse. Could’ve been better too, though. Or maybe it couldn’t. They should just stop making these, maybe.

      • I’m so sick of dark movies where you can’t see anything! I’ve finally just watched Batman V Superman & the darkness got on my nerves. But not as much as the movie did in general (God, I now like Alien: Covenant & every other movie ever made better in comparison to Batman V Superman. Ugh.). Where were we?? Oh yeah! I’m glad you seem to have had a bit more enjoyment out of this than I did. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s not the worst movie ever. It’s just… Meh. Pointless. But it’s not ruined my life or anything. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Have you reviewed it?

      • I think that sums it up well — pointless. It doesn’t do a great job of continuing Prometheus and it doesn’t do a great job of being an Alien movie either. Scott seems to have used it to kill Neill Blomkamp’s planned Alien 5, but I feel like maybe they should now give the new guy a chance!

        I have reviewed it — here’s a handy link.

    • It certainly did! Ugh. But I’ve now just finally watched Batman V Superman so at least I can say that Alien: Covenant & every other movie ever made has now gone up in my estimation compared to THAT…. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  1. I’m with Satua! I’m not a big horror fan (although I did enjoy the original Alien) but I’ll definitely see this soon for Fassbender. It’s a shame it wasn’t a good movie though!

    • Yeah, I was really hoping this would be better than Prometheus but it’s just more of the same. Pointless. But at least Fassbender is good (as always)! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Love him.

  2. The Alien franchise will go on forever because of the phenomenon of the second movie being better than the first movie even though the first one was awesome. This has happened a few times in movie history and it doesn’t matter how bad the movies get after that, Hollywood will still keep churning them out. Star Wars to Empire. Dr No to From Russia with Love. First Blood to Rambo. Terminator to T2 (that’s right I said it). Spider-Man 1 to 2. Superman 1 to 2. Batman (Chris Nolan) 1 to 2. Batman (Tim Burton) 1 to 2. Godfather 1 to 2. Police Academy, Star Trek… the list goes on. If the sequel is even better than the original then they will make more films… forever. This rule doesn’t count for straight horror films because the studio can slash the budget with each sequel until it cost three hundred dollars and a gift card to make a straight to video 13th movie. The main problem with the Alien/Aliens sequels is that the first two movies are so completely different from each other. There is no theme to continue. I think Fincher and Jeunet did amazing jobs with their particular skill sets. They are two of my favorite directors and the studio screwed them both. I liked Alien 3 and I liked Resurrection (a bit less because the language barrier between actors and director left some bad performances on the screen, apologies to Joss Whedon’s script). But I LOVED Prometheus. However having said that, I’m probably going to skip Alien: Covenant or wait for the DVD. The way you describe it, I think he put it backwards. The Prometheus type part should have gone first. leading into the Alien type part. I mean it is a prequel after all. (sorry about the length of my comment)

    • That’s okay – I love your long comments! ๐Ÿ˜€ Sorry I take so long to reply lately. YES! Are you saying Aliens is better than Alien? I think Alien is a better “film” and all that but Aliens kicks ass & I’ve watched it dozens of times unlike the first one. I’m obsessed with Aliens. Although I definitely prefer the first Terminator (Michael Biehn has a lot to do with me loving Terminator 1 & Aliens, though). ๐Ÿ˜‰ Sequels are really starting to piss me off but I know they’ll continue to be made while we all continue to go to them. I would think you’d like Covenant, though, if you loved Prometheus so you should check it out. I’d be interested to hear what you think. But I think you’re right – it should’ve started out like Prometheus & ended like Aliens….

      • I saw it yesterday. I did not like it. There were no characters (except the second android). Everyone else was a thinly sliced archetype. And they were all so useless. Alien: Covenant was the worse of the Alien movies. I liked the first part better when it was called Passengers. I liked the last part better when it was called Life. And I’d rather watch any version of Star Trek going down to some alien planet before the comedy of errors that was the whole second act. Garbage. besides Fassbender, the best actor in the movie was James Franco. I really didn’t like it.

      • I’m so glad you didn’t like this! I mean, I’m not glad you didn’t have a good time. I just like it when people agree with me. ๐Ÿ˜‰ The characters were pointless. Fassbender was good as always but… Meh. I didn’t really care. Suppose I should watch Passengers & Life at some point. Covenant is definitely my least favorite of the Alien films now. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ They really just need to stop. Now. (I’ll still watch the next one)

  3. I’m on the fence about whether to see this in the theater this weekend…or just see Guardians again. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I may go see it just for Fassbender; he was the highlight of Prometheus for me. Maybe it’s time to retire some of these franchises for a while; it’s hard to recapture the same magic!

    • Definitely! I think that’s one of my biggest issues. The mystery of the original helps add to the horror. This & Prometheus are taking away the mystery & it’s slightly ruining the first two films for me…

    • I’m so annoyed that I know I’ll keep watching these Alien sequels even though I know they’re all gonna suck…. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Nothing will ever top the first two!

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