My Top Ten Ridley Scott Movies

Happy Birthday to Ridley Scott, who turns 84 today.

I used to do these top ten lists for the birthdays of directors & actors/actresses. Not sure why I stopped but I still have plenty sitting in drafts. I had to change this one from “turns 80 today” to “turns 84”, so it was in there a while.

Well, I figured it was time to drag this one out of drafts with the recent releases of two Ridley Scott films. Which I haven’t seen as I’m still not going to the cinema! That’s partly due to viruses and not missing inconsiderate audiences anyway but also thanks to being completely & utterly broke. To be honest, though, neither of the two new ones appeal to me – I can update this list if need be when I do see them but I doubt they’d be very high.

So, counting down to my favorite & including all I’ve seen, here are My Top Ten Ridley Scott Movies: (I love the top three, really like 4 & 5, and could probably do with rewatching all of the rest. Except those highly disappointing Alien thingies…)

The Rest That I’ve Seen:

12. Black Rain
11. Hannibal

My Top Ten:

10. Alien: Covenant

9. Prometheus

8. Matchstick Men

7. Legend (but need to rewatch this)

6. American Gangster (could do with rewatching this too)

5. The Martian

4. Gladiator

3. Thelma & Louise (if I was honest with myself I’d put this at number 2 – I’ve watched this one way more)

2. Blade Runner

1. Alien (love love love love love!)

Not Seen:
House Of Gucci, The Last Duel, All The Money In The World, The Duellists, Someone To Watch Over Me, 1492: Conquest Of Paradise, White Squall, G.I. Jane, Black Hawk Down, Kingdom Of Heaven, A Good Year, Body Of Lies, Robin Hood, The Counsellor, Exodus: Gods And Kings

Figured I should also mention some famous ads directed by Ridley Scott – Hovis: Boy On The Bike & the great Apple Mac: 1984. I remember watching & discussing the Apple Mac one in an advertising course in college. Here it is:

My Top Ten Sigourney Weaver Movies

Happy Birthday (soon) to Sigourney Weaver, who turns 68 on Sunday.

Ellen Ripley is one of my all-time favorite characters in two of my all-time favorite films (only the first two Alien films really count). I’m obsessed with those movies – they’re definitely going with me to my desert island.

As for Sigourney Weaver as an actress? Well, she IS Ellen Ripley to me. How awesome must it be to be able to say you played one of the all-time greatest cinematic characters?! Outside of the Alien films, however, I’m not gonna lie: I’d never call her a favorite actress of mine. But who cares? Ripley is all that matters.

As for her movie resume (aka movie CV in the UK), she’s been in a wide mix of things and not many I’d say I love other than numbers 1 & 2 on the below list. But who cares? She was in the Alien films. The f*^king ALIEN films. Nothing else matters. They can’t be topped. But, what the hell, I’ve done a Top Ten anyway. 😉

Counting down to my favorite, these are My Top Ten Sigourney Weaver Movies (not ranked by character or performance):

The Rest That I’ve Seen:

21. Heartbreakers
20. Copycat
19. Red Lights
18. The Tale Of Despereaux
17. Be Kind Rewind
16. Paul
15. Dave (could do with rewatching)
14. Ghostbusters (2016)
13. Galaxy Quest
12. Finding Dory
11. Avatar

Top Ten:

10. The Ice Storm

9. Working Girl

8. Holes

7. Chappie

6. Gorillas In The Mist (could do with rewatching this)

5. The Cabin In The Woods

4. The Village

3. Ghostbusters I & II (even though I just tweeted the other day that Ghostbusters has NOT aged well. and I barely remember II…)

2. WALL-E

1. The Alien Films (but really just Alien & Aliens)

Some I’ve Not Seen:

Annie Hall, The Year Of Living Dangerously, 1492: Conquest Of Paradise, Infamous, Vantage Point, Baby Mama, Exodus: Gods And Kings, A Monster Calls

Alien: Covenant (2017) Review

Alien: Covenant (2017)

**Spoiler-free ranting below**

Directed by Ridley Scott

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demián Bichir

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
The crew of a colony ship, bound for a remote planet, discover an uncharted paradise with a threat beyond their imagination, and must attempt a harrowing escape.

My Opinion:

I’ll keep this brief and of course spoiler-free as I know Alien: Covenant isn’t yet out in America.

I’m a huge fan of the first two Alien films. I’ve never talked about them on this blog because I’m not a good writer and I find it hard to review the films I love the most (I made an attempt to review favorites, which I called CPD Classics, but gave up after a while as it took too long to write those). I can’t find the right words to express the awesomeness of those first two films. The H.R. Giger designs (above all else), the mood, the horror, the mystery, the action of the second film plus a great set of characters, Hicks (hottie), the knife/hand thing and, of course, a kick-ass female. Those first two films are perfection. I suppose that’s why every Alien film since those has been such a huge disappointment. How can you top those? You can’t. And Alien: Covenant is yet another massive disappointment.

I didn’t read any reviews at all before seeing this but the main comment I couldn’t help but see several times on Twitter was that “it starts out okay & almost feels like an Alien film but then turns into Prometheus 2“. That’s exactly right. If you liked Prometheus, you’ll probably like Covenant. If you hated Prometheus, I doubt you’ll like this one. I’m no fan of Prometheus. To be honest, I barely remember it now as I never watched it again after going to the cinema to see it. I wouldn’t say I hated it as I will probably always watch each & every movie that explores the Alien universe as it’s an overall idea that I absolutely love but, man – I wish they’d stop f*^king things up so much!

You know what? I actually think I like Prometheus slightly more now. Compared to Covenant, it’s probably the better of the two. Yikes. It’s like having to choose between two horrible candidates & having to go with the lesser of two evils. Prometheus kept things slightly more simple whereas Scott feels like he’s aimlessly & pointlessly overcomplicating things now. The mystery of the alien race in the first film is a big part of what makes the entire Alien universe so horrifying. Stop trying to explain everything. Stop showing us too much. Stop all the pretentiousness. Make an Alien film. Stop making Prometheus films, dammit. How are so many filmmakers & studios so damn clueless as to what the public actually want?

Okay – maybe it’s time to stop making these films altogether. Or perhaps let someone else take over again (Villeneuve’s Blade Runner 2049 looks fairly promising so far). Either way, I’m pretty good at blocking things out of my mind when I want to and these sequels & prequels have yet to ruin the legacy of the first two films for me. But I grew up with the first two during my early teen film-loving beginnings. How much are these newer films damaging those first ones for the current generation?

I can’t be bothered with this “review”. I’m just annoyed. BUT, I did go in with very low expectations (I’m not stupid). Therefore, I’m not as annoyed as I seem since I got what I pretty much expected. Like with Prometheus, I didn’t exactly hate this film. I just try to think of these films as a separate sort of thing (kind of like with the Star Wars prequels). They mostly suck but there are moments that I enjoy thanks to my love of the original films (the moments that feel like an Alien film & not a Prometheus film and there are a few of these, luckily). Michael Fassbender (hottie) is very good. He steals the show. I just wish they could’ve made us care about this set of characters as much those in Aliens (but that wasn’t Scott). Other than Fassbender, everyone is very one-dimensional & their relationships felt forced for added drama (most of the those on the Covenant are married to someone else on the ship – what’s with all the romantic connections?).

Oops – I was trying to end with only positive comments to help explain why I’m not giving this a lower rating after all my bitching. Um. There’s a Xenomorph. There’s a facehugger. There’s bursting. That’s why the score isn’t lower. God I’m shallow. If they make another one of these movies, I know I’ll still watch the damn thing even though it’s 99% likely that at least 75% of it will suck. 😉 But if I had to rank all these now (not counting those AVP ones), Covenant is probably at the very bottom. That’s so not what I wanted. Why do I continue to live in the hope that there could ever be another good Alien film?

My Rating: 6.5/10*

*I’m being way too generous. Because it’s an Alien film. Sort of. But not really. Damn.

My Top Ten John Hurt Movies

Happy Birthday (soon!) to John Hurt, who will be 77 on Sunday, January 22nd.

Wow – I didn’t realize just how much Hurt has starred in until I looked him up for this list. So this will be yet another Top Ten where at the end I’ll have to list some of his biggest films that I’ve not yet seen. But I won’t list everything since he’s been in 207 things!!! So here we go… Here are My Top Ten John Hurt Movies (as opposed to performances) counting down to my favorite (which is one of the greatest movies EVER):

Honorable Mentions:

16. Only Lovers Left Alive
15. Hellboy
14. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (Nuke the fridge!)
13. Thumbelina
12. The Skeleton Key (I actually quite liked this stupid movie)
11. Dogville

10. The Black Cauldron

9. The Harry Potter Movies

8. I, Claudius

7. 1984

6. Contact

5. Melancholia

4. V For Vendetta

3. TIE: Spaceballs & Watership Down

2. The Elephant Man

1. Alien

I Saw These But Don’t Really Remember Them:

– King Ralph
– Lost Souls

Some I’ve Still Not Seen:

– The Lord Of The Rings (animated) (This is on my list to watch soon)
– Midnight Express (I’ve been meaning to watch this for years… Maybe it can be a 2018 Blind Spot!)
– Rob Roy
– Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
– Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer
– The Oxford Murders
– Brighton Rock
– Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
– Sightseers
– Snowpiercer (This never did get a proper release in the UK. Still want to see)
– Jackie

**Post updated 26th of February 2017 to include Watership Down…

**Updated again 18th of June 2017 to include Dogville & Only Lovers Left Alive.

My Top Ten Harry Dean Stanton Movies

Happy Birthday to Harry Dean Stanton, who turns 90 today! Wow – I can’t believe he’s 90. Such a great actor who has been in so many awesome films. Stanton has quite of an impressive résumé & doesn’t seem to get the credit he deserves.

As always, I’m ranking these according to how much I like the movie as opposed to the character (if going by character, Seven Psychopaths would be much higher – loved his character in that). So, counting down to my favorite movie (a movie that NOTHING tops), here are My Top Ten Harry Dean Stanton Movies:

10. The Straight Story

9. Avengers Assemble

8. Seven Psychopaths

7. Repo Man

6. Cool Hand Luke

5. Pretty In Pink

4. The Green Mile

3. The Godfather: Part II

2. Escape From New York

1. Alien

Honorable Mentions:
The Last Temptation Of Christ
Dream A Little Dream
The Mighty
Christine
Red Dawn

Okay – he’s been in a few other big movies that I haven’t seen. I have yet to see…:
Paris, Texas
Wild At Heart
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

**Updated March 12th 2017 to add The Last Temptation Of Christ. It doesn’t make the Top Ten.

H.R. Giger, 1940-2014: The Xenomorph’s Father

I was sad when I heard on Tuesday that H.R. Giger had passed away. I’ve always been fascinated by his art. And would I love the Alien films as much as I do if he hadn’t been involved? Probably not. Anyway – I wasn’t sure what to post in honor of him but I wanted to at least make some sort of mention of this brilliant artist so I thought I’d share this good article about him by Matt Zoller Seitz, which you can read here: rogerebert.com.

Hans Rudolf “Ruedi” Giger, 1940 – 2014

Spring Breakers (2012) Review

Spring Breakers (2012)

Directed by Harmony Korine

Starring:
James Franco
Vanessa Hudgens
Selena Gomez
Ashley Benson
Rachel Korine
Gucci Mane

Running time: 94 minutes

Plot Synopsis:
Spring break forever, bitches!

My Opinion:

I have to be honest – I’m struggling to write anything at the moment and have been putting off doing reviews as I don’t know what to say. Spring Breakers is a tough one. What the hell can I say about it?!

First of all: Harmony Korine… I’d confused him with the director of Kids but it looks like he only wrote that one. I saw that years ago and barely remember it but do remember finding it pretty repulsive. Then I saw either Gummo or Julien Donkey-Boy (honestly don’t know which one) late one night and I ended up falling asleep in the middle of it and it merged into some nightmare I had and now just thinking about those movies gives me the creeps (whichever one it was – I don’t remember a damn thing!).

What was the point of all that? I have no clue! I thought, as I believed he directed the offensive Kids and then another movie of his gave me nightmares, that I’d HATE Spring Breakers. Plus there’s the fact that I was never the “spring breaker” type and those portrayed in this film are the kind of self-absorbed twats I can’t stand. However, I kind of liked this movie. And I don’t know why!!!! I have no clue. Honestly. WTF?

There’s no point saying much about the film – Anyone who actually wants to see this probably has by now. But it’s true when everyone has said that James Franco is the best thing about it. I’ve never been a fan, really, so this is probably the first performance of his that I did really find entertaining. It’s too bad he’s not in it for a bit longer – The movie did drag a little before he was finally introduced. I don’t think any of the girls did anything all that special, though, and those roles probably could have been played by anyone (sorry!).

The reason I kind of liked the film overall is because I actually think there are three really good scenes (hell, that’s more than a lot of films have, I guess). The “look at my shit!” scene is great & is already a quotable classic, I don’t know why but I actually loved something about the Britney Spears/piano scene, and the “neon” scene at the end with the long walk down the pier or whatever (I try to stay spoiler-free in reviews) looked pretty damn cool at the very least! And the armed robbery scene at the beginning was quite artistic, come to think of it… So I guess that’s four.

Summary:

I won’t analyze the movie. What’s the point? Is he showing us that these people are wrong? Or is he making this lifestyle seem really cool? He’s doing both, of course – he’s managed to keep his artsy fartsy fans happy while giving horny young idiots a movie they’ll think is cool because it’s full of tits & violence. So good job, Harmony Korine! I hated these people (although Franco’s Alien is a great creation) but we’re not meant to like them and I wasn’t offended as I found them so exaggerated anyway. The movie was entertaining & looked pretty cool & had some good memorable scenes & one great character. Good enough for me! That’s more than can be said for a lot of movies these days. So I kind of liked it in a weird way. I think. Or… I at least didn’t hate it!

My Rating: 7/10

WARNING: BELOW IMAGE NSFW
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And with that, I’d like to thank Mikey over at Screenkicker for the lovely award he gave me the other day: “The Gratuitous Nudity Award”. This is because I posted ONE gif of Chris Hemsworth’s lovely naked bum in Rush. So I’ve given you the above Spring Breakers picture to even the score. Don’t expect any more boobies on this blog anytime soon, though! 😉

Thanks again, Mikey! 🙂

The Man Who Fell To Earth (1976) Review

The Man Who Fell To Earth

Directed by Nicolas Roeg

Starring

David Bowie
Rip Torn
Candy Clark
Buck Henry
Bernie Casey

Plot Synopsis (via Wikipedia):

Thomas Jerome Newton is a humanoid alien who comes to Earth from a distant planet on a mission to bring water back to his home planet, which is experiencing a catastrophic drought.

Newton uses the advanced technology of his home planet to patent many inventions on Earth, and acquires incredible wealth as the head of a technology-based conglomerate, World Enterprises Corporation, aided by leading patent attorney Oliver Farnsworth. His wealth is needed to construct his own space vehicle with the intention of shipping water back to his planet.

My Opinion:

I’d been wanting to see this movie for a very long time and finally got the opportunity when it was on TV a couple of weeks ago. I’m a huge David Bowie fan. Okay – More a fan of his music than his, um, acting. But I’m glad I finally got to see this intriguing, unusual, crazy, slightly fucked up, and totally 70’s film.

This film is a bit of an incoherent mess, quite frankly. It starts with Bowie coming to Earth. Then we suddenly get this college professor, Rip Torn, screwing lots of college girls. LOTS of screwing. There’s a lot of sex in this movie. And nudity. And naked Bowie (yes!).

They show Bowie experiencing new things on Earth while Rip Torn does lots of screwing. I think they’re trying to show that he & Bowie have some sort of psychic connection? Then Bowie meets a sweet & simple girl, Candy Clark, and they start a relationship. And have lots of sex. And Bowie drinks a lot and watches multiple TVs all at once. And we see Bowie’s wife & kids slowly dying back on his home planet. And we see Bowie penis! And we see weird alien sex involving a milky substance that looks a bit like when Bishop is ripped apart in Aliens. And all of a sudden Bowie has a spaceship to fly back home and, oh yeah, I forgot that was the whole point of the movie. Then people are getting thrown out of windows and I’m losing the plot a bit. And the guy who’s the teacher in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is suddenly in the movie and I’m still not sure what his role was. Then there’s crazy gun sex and contact lenses and nipple tweaking and WTF. The end. Well, not quite the end but I won’t give the end away.

So, yeah. When this movie finished, I admit that I just kind of sat there going “WTF?”. I watched this two weeks ago. Since then I’ve started to think that, actually, this movie was kind of freaking awesome. In a totally fucked up way. Why? Well, that’s simple: David Bowie, of course. He always has been and always will be thoroughly intriguing. Who better to play an alien? And being an alien excuses any less than perfect acting, I guess. How are we meant to know how an alien would actually behave? 😉

Candy Clark is very good as Bowie’s girlfriend on Earth. For me, the best parts of this movie by far are the ones focusing on their relationship. Whenever they focused on any characters other than these two, I lost interest. They were great together and it was fun watching their dysfunctional relationship. And their crazy gun sex.

Summary:

I honestly don’t know what else to say so I’m going to just sum things up now. This movie is not good. Iconic, yes. But not good. But I didn’t care. Because… It’s David Bowie. And I love him. He makes me feel kind of funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class. (Does that line work if a girl says it? Also, we never actually climbed any ropes in my gym classes at school). This movie LOOKS cool. Especially Bowie – he looks cool as hell. I mainly wanted to write this review just for the cool pictures I could post. No, this movie is not good. But I liked it. It’s horribly awesome and I have to own it on DVD. If you’re not a Bowie fan, though, you’ll probably want to avoid this movie.

My Rating: 7.5/10

I’d like to also add that I recently went to the “David Bowie Is” exhibition at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London. If you’re a Bowie fan and live anywhere near London, I highly recommend it. You get to see SO many personal items – I especially loved all his handwritten lyrics to all my favorite songs and his many costumes. It was excellent.

My Top Ten David Bowie Songs