Just One Of The Guys (1985) Review

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Just One Of The Guys (1985)

Directed by Lisa Gottlieb

Starring:
Joyce Hyser
Clayton Rohner
Billy Jacoby
Toni Hudson
Billy Zabka
Sherilyn Fenn

Running time: 90 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
Terry (Joyce Hyser) is determined to win a school writing contest to prove that a pretty girl can be capable and intelligent. In order to be taken seriously, she dresses as a boy and tries to blend in at a new school until the contest results are announced.

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My Opinion:

I LOVE 80’s movies. I’ve probably seen 90% of them. Yet this one passed me by… Luckily, Netflix has a decent selection of dodgy 80’s movies. YES! So I finally checked this one out.

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First of all, it opens with the above image (and someone was clearly pervy enough to stick this still online). We then see plenty of the female lead in her underwear and in a bikini before she goes & chops off all her hair to look like a boy. But… She never straps those boobs down. They’re not small! Apparently no one notices them while she’s dressed as a guy.

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This movie has the opportunity to say something about gender stereotypes. Does it? Oh HELL no! Ha! In typical cheesy 80’s-movie-style, we see all male characters acting as sex-obsessed chauvinists. Billy Jacoby, the lead’s brother, is the worst. He spends the entire movie trying to get laid & has naked women all over his walls. I’ve never understood this – I remember walking into various dorm rooms in college and seeing guys who had naked girls plastered all over their walls was SUCH a turn-off! (Little tip there, guys). Anyway, Billy Jacoby was in lots of my teen movies so I was thoroughly confused when I looked this movie up as he’s now apparently called Billy Jayne. (Oh, but he looks pretty good in his current IMDB photo. Hmm…)

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(This is a picture of Jacoby showing his sister how to act like a guy by, um, adjusting her balls properly…)

Are guys all over the world REALLY as horny & pathetic as this movie makes it seem?! I don’t know… I do love how this movie acts like it’s making an important statement on sexism but has the lead parading around in her underwear & flashing her boobs. Gotta love the 80’s! By the way – there are loads of images and gifs of said flashing if you search online – I’m not posting that here! Sorry to disappoint you Eric, Brian, Mike & Seth… 😉

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I’m NOT saying I didn’t enjoy this cheesy & extremely predictable movie, however. As with all 80’s movies I didn’t manage to actually see in my youth, I won’t have a fond affection for this one as I didn’t grow up with it. But I ALWAYS feel a bit warm & fuzzy when watching a movie from the 80’s. I can’t help it! If I had a time machine, I’d totally go back to 1985 (but without a dodgy poodle-perm). Or… Maybe 1975. Anything would be better than these shitty times we live in now!

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I enjoyed this movie in all its 80’s cheesiness. I liked that, in the picture above, the girl was also in the movie April Fool’s Day, which I love more than I should, and the guy was the prick in The Karate Kid. I also loved that someone in this movie (it might have been Sherilyn Fenn’s character) said the lead girl looked like Ralph Macchio in The Karate Kid while dressed as a guy (she totally did!).

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Summary:

This movie isn’t “good”. If you’re younger than me and didn’t grow up with 80’s movies, it’s very unlikely that you’ll enjoy this one. This is one of those films that, unfortunately, hasn’t aged well. When you think about it, this came out the same year as Back To The Future but that one can still be watched today and loved by new generations. I’d never ever recommend this movie to a younger generation but, if you’re my sort of age and missed out on seeing this one back in the 80’s, I think you’d enjoy it just fine.

My Rating: 6.5/10

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Spring Breakers (2012) Review

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Spring Breakers (2012)

Directed by Harmony Korine

Starring:
James Franco
Vanessa Hudgens
Selena Gomez
Ashley Benson
Rachel Korine
Gucci Mane

Running time: 94 minutes

Plot Synopsis:
Spring break forever, bitches!

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My Opinion:

I have to be honest – I’m struggling to write anything at the moment and have been putting off doing reviews as I don’t know what to say. Spring Breakers is a tough one. What the hell can I say about it?!

First of all: Harmony Korine… I’d confused him with the director of Kids but it looks like he only wrote that one. I saw that years ago and barely remember it but do remember finding it pretty repulsive. Then I saw either Gummo or Julien Donkey-Boy (honestly don’t know which one) late one night and I ended up falling asleep in the middle of it and it merged into some nightmare I had and now just thinking about those movies gives me the creeps (whichever one it was – I don’t remember a damn thing!).

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What was the point of all that? I have no clue! I thought, as I believed he directed the offensive Kids and then another movie of his gave me nightmares, that I’d HATE Spring Breakers. Plus there’s the fact that I was never the “spring breaker” type and those portrayed in this film are the kind of self-absorbed twats I can’t stand. However, I kind of liked this movie. And I don’t know why!!!! I have no clue. Honestly. WTF?

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There’s no point saying much about the film – Anyone who actually wants to see this probably has by now. But it’s true when everyone has said that James Franco is the best thing about it. I’ve never been a fan, really, so this is probably the first performance of his that I did really find entertaining. It’s too bad he’s not in it for a bit longer – The movie did drag a little before he was finally introduced. I don’t think any of the girls did anything all that special, though, and those roles probably could have been played by anyone (sorry!).

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The reason I kind of liked the film overall is because I actually think there are three really good scenes (hell, that’s more than a lot of films have, I guess). The “look at my shit!” scene is great & is already a quotable classic, I don’t know why but I actually loved something about the Britney Spears/piano scene, and the “neon” scene at the end with the long walk down the pier or whatever (I try to stay spoiler-free in reviews) looked pretty damn cool at the very least! And the armed robbery scene at the beginning was quite artistic, come to think of it… So I guess that’s four.

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Summary:

I won’t analyze the movie. What’s the point? Is he showing us that these people are wrong? Or is he making this lifestyle seem really cool? He’s doing both, of course – he’s managed to keep his artsy fartsy fans happy while giving horny young idiots a movie they’ll think is cool because it’s full of tits & violence. So good job, Harmony Korine! I hated these people (although Franco’s Alien is a great creation) but we’re not meant to like them and I wasn’t offended as I found them so exaggerated anyway. The movie was entertaining & looked pretty cool & had some good memorable scenes & one great character. Good enough for me! That’s more than can be said for a lot of movies these days. So I kind of liked it in a weird way. I think. Or… I at least didn’t hate it!

My Rating: 7/10

WARNING: BELOW IMAGE NSFW
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And with that, I’d like to thank Mikey over at Screenkicker for the lovely award he gave me the other day: “The Gratuitous Nudity Award”. This is because I posted ONE gif of Chris Hemsworth’s lovely naked bum in Rush. So I’ve given you the above Spring Breakers picture to even the score. Don’t expect any more boobies on this blog anytime soon, though! 😉

Thanks again, Mikey! 🙂

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The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013) Review

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The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)

Directed by Martin Scorsese

Based on The Wolf of Wall Street by Jordan Belfort

Starring:
Leonardo DiCaprio
Jonah Hill
Margot Robbie
Matthew McConaughey
Kyle Chandler
Rob Reiner
Jon Bernthal
Jon Favreau
Jean Dujardin
Joanna Lumley
Cristin Milioti
Christine Ebersole
Shea Whigham
Katarina Čas
P. J. Byrne
Kenneth Choi
Brian Sacca
Henry Zebrowski
Ethan Suplee
Barry Rothbart
Jake Hoffman
Spike Jonze

Running time: 179 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The Wolf of Wall Street is a 2013 American black comedy film directed by Martin Scorsese, based on Jordan Belfort’s memoir of the same name. The film stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Belfort, a New York stockbroker who runs a firm that engages in securities fraud and corruption on Wall Street in the 1990s.

(But DiCaprio’s character is a lot more fun to watch than Gordon Gekko and the acting is A BIT better than Daryl Hannah’s…)

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My Opinion:

I know I just did a list of my top ten Martin Scorsese films HERE but, the truth is, I’m not a huge fan. Is The Wolf Of Wall Street REALLY better than things like Goodfellas & Taxi Driver? Okay – probably not. But I can honestly say that I enjoyed this film the most out of all the Scorsese films I’ve seen & it’s my own personal favorite of his. Scorsese & DiCaprio make a great team and this three hour film felt about ten minutes long when compared to The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug (I thought that damn thing would never end!).

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I’m not sure where to start. I’m really not sure what to say about this at all. I’m not even completely sure why I enjoyed it so much! It’s raunchy as hell. It’s all “fuck” this and “fucking motherfucker cocksucker” that and HOOKERS DRUGS HOOKERS DRUGS! It’s full of a bunch of disgusting, unlikeable, rich douchebags. What a bunch of horrible pricks. But, goddamn, this was funny as hell and just plain fun to watch! I’m still chuckling over Leo & Jonah Hill on quaaludes & fighting over the telephone.

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DiCaprio & even Hill (who I never liked before this movie) are absolutely incredible. LOVED them. Everyone in this was excellent – not one person seemed wrong for their part. I also especially loved Rob Reiner as DiCaprio’s dad (freaking HILARIOUS) and Matthew McConaughey in a small role played to absolute perfection. Brilliant. Every single person in this. And I’ve decided I have a thing for Jean Dujardin now (I’m growing up & liking the older, classy men now. Yum).

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Screw it. You know what? I really don’t know what else to say. My reviews are always too long anyway. This was out ages ago in America, right? Everyone has reviewed this by now & discussed it to death. I liked it. No… I loved it. I loved a Scorsese film where I didn’t have to worry about someone’s head being stuck in a vice (I’ve avoided Casino for years because of that). I’m not sure if there’s some kind of message to this film other than “rich people are assholes”. Who cares? It managed to keep my interest for THREE HOURS and made me laugh and made me happy, dammit. It’s full of some of the best acting I’ve seen in a long time. Great soundtrack, too! I really hope it wins some Oscars over the inferior American Hustle.

My Rating: 9/10

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CPD Classics: Pump Up The Volume (1990) Review

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Pump Up The Volume (1990)

Directed by Allan Moyle

Starring:
Christian Slater
Samantha Mathis
Mimi Kennedy
Scott Paulin
Cheryl Pollak
Annie Ross
Ahmet Zappa
Billy Morrissette
Seth Green
Robert Schenkkan
Ellen Greene
Andy Romano
Anthony Lucero
Lala Sloatman
James Hampton

Running time: 105 minutes

Plot Synopsis:
Christian Slater, known only as Hard Harry to his fans, runs a pirate radio station from his parents’ basement because he’s a teenager and full of ANGST! He’s also cool as hell and smokes a lot, talks dirty, plays awesome music, and likes to wear no shirt.

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Why It’s A CPD Classic:

TAKE COVER, ARIZONA!

I’ve been obsessed with this movie since my mid/late teens. It’s even one of the 8 films I chose to have on a desert island with me for Tyson’s Desert Island Films over at Head In A Vice. I loved it in 1990 and I love it still.

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I was quite shy as a teenager and the thought of anonymously running a pirate radio station from my parents’ basement really appealed to me. Hell – it still does. I want to have a pirate radio station! But I live in England now & we don’t have basements so I guess that’s not going to work out. Plus I’m no longer a teenager and don’t need to be all anti-establishment and “stick it to the man” by exposing my high school’s staff as being a bunch of knobheads. But, even at my age now, I still think this movie is cool as hell. As is Christian Slater as Mark Hunter aka Hard Harry aka Happy Harry Hard-On. And Samantha Mathis is a great strong female character as Nora Diniro aka The Eat Me, Beat Me Lady.

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This is a “smart” teen movie, which I love. I also love that it’s a wee bit naughty. The line I quoted at the beginning about Arizona? Haha! If you’ve not seen this, I won’t spoil that line for you… A lot of the language in this was, I suppose, pushing the boundaries for 1990. It’s not quite up there with Heathers in terms of the material they got away with but I do often think of the two together in my mind (Yes, Heathers is a future CPD Classic too!). Christian Slater’s character is great and I love how shy he is in public and then how cool he is when he’s the anonymous “Hard Harry” and just lets loose. And Samantha Mathis is the wild girl desperate to find out who Hard Harry really is. Honestly – I wanted to be a combination of both these characters in my teens (Okay, I admit it – I still totally want to be them. Anyone in England have a basement I could borrow?).

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I can’t finish this review without mentioning the AWESOME soundtrack. I mean, he runs a pirate radio station so he has to play some music in between bitching about how “everything in America is completely fucked up” so it was important to get the songs in this right. I think they got them VERY right – I love the soundtrack & it fits in so perfectly with the movie’s message & feel. From Leonard Cohen’s Everybody Knows & If It Be Your Will to less serious songs like Richard Hell’s Love Comes In Spurts (I love that title) and Dad, I’m In Jail by Was Not Was. Even a Descendents song (WeinerSchnitzel)! And the Bad Brains version of Kick Out The Jams! (I’ll shut up now. Just saying – I loooooove the songs in this).

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I love everything about this movie. It’s SO quotable (D-D-D-D-David Deaver!), the music is great, the characters are cool, and Christian Slater has never been so sexy. I’ll always love Pump Up The Volume, which is why it’s a CPD Classic. So be it.

My Rating: 9/10

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Before Midnight (2013) Review

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Before Midnight (2013)

Directed by Richard Linklater

Starring:
Ethan Hawke
Julie Delpy
Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick
Jennifer Prior
Charlotte Prior
Xenia Kalogeropoulou
Walter Lassally
Ariane Labed
Yiannis Papadopoulos
Athina Rachel Tsangari
Panos Koronis

Running time: 109 minutes

Plot Synopsis:
We see Jesse & Celine nine years after they met again in Before Sunset. Now in their early 40s, life is a lot more complicated than when they first met almost twenty years ago.

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I love Before Sunrise & Before Sunset. I’ve always liked that these two feel like a REAL couple, which you don’t always get in romantic movies. Plus Hawke & Delpy have proven that they’re great working together & have wonderful chemistry. I also love Richard Linklater films. I love films where nothing much happens but the characters are really rich and talk and talk and talk about all kinds of interesting but also plenty of boring things just like we all do in real life (wow – I’m describing the exact type of movie that someone I know would hate. Lol). Well, I love this sort of thing! (Dazed And Confused is my favorite Linklater film and the exact type of movie I’d love to make if I was a filmmaker).

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Anyway – I’ve only just finally managed to watch Before Midnight as it was of course not showing in any cinemas near me for very long. But, also, I kind of had some trepidation about watching it and still didn’t rush to see it once it was available to watch at home. My review will, as always, try to be spoiler-free. I won’t say how this ends but, before seeing it, I had a feeling it would be the end of Jesse & Celine and I really didn’t want to see that. I liked them as a couple & wanted them to stay a couple. They’re made for each other!

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This movie is just like the first two in that we see some intelligent people sitting around and talking about the things intelligent people talk about. Jesse & Celine are in Greece staying with a friend and a few other couples. Over a meal they all talk about love and marriage & I enjoyed this part of the movie quite a bit. One woman whose husband has died talks about how she misses him and she was probably the biggest highlight of the film. As it’s Jesse & Celine’s last night in Greece, they’ve been given a gift of a night in a local hotel while their friends watch their twin daughters for the night.

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Throughout the movie we’ve been seeing the strain the marriage has been under due to Jesse having a son living so far away from him in America and a difficult ex-wife and Celine considering a career change plus both of them, but especially Celine I think, realizing that they’re in their 40s now and things are very different from when they first met. I’m the same sort of age as this couple which is probably why I’ve always been able to relate to them so this one was a difficult watch as, to be honest, life is hard enough at this age so I prefer to watch movies as a form of escapism from reality. It’s probably why my favorite genre is actually sci-fi. Hawke & Delpy give great performances as always but don’t expect the lightheartedness of the first two films. What I did like a lot is that sometimes I could relate to Celine whereas other times (and probably more often) it was Jesse I could relate to more. I think a lot of couples watching will feel this way. They’re a very “real” couple in this one with real problems and the movie is pretty fantastic. But it was all just a little TOO real for me and I think I’ll choose to remember Jesse & Celine the way they were before life got in the way.

My Rating: 7.5/10

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All Good Things (2010) Review

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All Good Things (2010)

Directed by Andrew Jarecki

Starring:
Ryan Gosling
Kirsten Dunst
Frank Langella
Kristen Wiig
Philip Baker Hall
Diane Venora
Lily Rabe

Running time: 101 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
Inspired by the life of accused murderer Robert Durst, the film chronicles the life of the wealthy son of a New York real estate tycoon, and a series of murders linked to him, as well as his volatile relationship with his wife and her subsequent unsolved disappearance.

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My Opinion:

Earlier in the year, I decided to start a Ryan Gosling Project where I’d watch all his films. But then… I don’t know, I just sort of fell out of love with him. So I haven’t continued that project but I guess I can add All Good Things to the list HERE.

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I thought this was a decent “based on a true story” (suspected) murder mystery movie. It’s not a genre I really go for but occasionally I’m in the mood for this kind of thing. I have to admit that I sometimes miss those (horrible) true story made for TV Lifetime movies in America. All Good Things is that exact sort of thing – It’s a Lifetime movie with a bigger budget & better actors. Okay, those Lifetime movies do get played in the UK but I just don’t have time for those (horrible) wonderful movies anymore. I miss Nancy McKeon, though – is she still doing that type of stuff?? And Valerie Bertinelli! And Meredith Baxter-Birney!

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So, anyway – this film is based on the story of wealthy Robert Durst, whose wife went missing in 1982. The case remains unsolved but Durst is suspected of two other murders 20 years later (and was tried for one, in which he claimed self-defense). Gosling plays Durst (but with the character name changed to David Marks) and Kirsten Dunst plays his wife Katie.

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I’ve never really liked Kirsten Dunst but I have to say she really did a very good job in this film. She was the highlight of the movie for me & I thought her performance was even better than Gosling’s. Obviously, it’s not a spoiler to say she disappears & we never see her again but, luckily, the film spends the majority of the time focusing on the marriage so she’s in the film a lot. After she disappears, the film goes through the next 20 years or so very quickly (maybe a little too quickly considering that this is when things got REALLY interesting & f%*ked up!).

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Ryan Gosling also does a good job but I kind of feel like we’ve seen too many similar performances from him before. He plays the character as a quiet, deeply troubled man (the type of role he plays so often). He plays it very subtle & it’s nice not seeing some over-the-top psycho but, again, we’ve seen this from him before. My very favorite Gosling movie is Lars And The Real Girl – he plays the role of Marks the same sort of way as he played Lars (but with a crazy anger underneath the surface – Lars was crazy but just sweet). He was great as Lars – if I hadn’t already seen that film, I’d probably be more blown away by his performance in this one. He is good in this – I’m not saying he isn’t. I just thought that Dunst felt like the true star in this one.

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Summary:

All Good Things is a very intriguing mystery based on the real life 1982 disappearance of the wife of a wealthy businessman. Gosling & especially Dunst give very good performances and a lot of time is spent exploring their characters & their relationship. Then she disappears & things get REALLY odd. I liked this movie quite a bit considering it’s not my favorite sort of genre. It really is an interesting case so I can see why they made a film out of it. I recommend this if you like “true crime” dramas.

My Rating: 6.5/10

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Vanishing Point (1971) Review

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Vanishing Point (1971)

Directed by Richard C Sarafian

Starring:
Barry Newman
Cleavon Little
Dean Jagger

Running time: 98 minutes

Plot Synopsis:
Kowalski (Barry Newman) is a car delivery driver who makes a bet that he can get a white 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Magnum from Denver to San Francisco in less than 15 hours. (Yes, of course I had to look up what kind of car it was. I’m a girl.)

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My Opinion:

This is one manly, groovy, cool, super fly 70s movie. It’s Easy Rider meets Smokey And The Bandit. It’s a total GUY movie. But I liked it because I’m a sucker for 70s films. They’re effing cool & we don’t get anything with that same sort of look & feel these days.

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This was 1971 so it has that late 60s vibe as well (another era that’s way cooler than our current one, which is uncool & sucks). I was reading about this movie on Wikipedia to refresh my memory as I watched it over the summer & it says “The film is notable for its scenic film locations across the American Southwest and its social commentary on the post-Woodstock mood in the United States.” Had to use that quote as it really does sum up the feel of the movie. I’d love to have lived during that time. And everyone & everything was so ugly! I love that.

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I’ll keep this short: If you’re old like me and if you love 70s movies (and especially if you’re a dude & you like cars), you’ll definitely like this movie so go & watch it right now. It’s very “American” and captures a time & place that’s really like no other.

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The acting is dodgy (especially from Kowalski’s girlfriend), Kowalski’s backstory is actually very interesting but poorly explained in that 70s movie type of storytelling way (I filled in the blanks reading about it online afterwards), and it’s also very slow paced (again, in that total 70s way) considering that it’s about a guy driving really fast.

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But it’s cool. There’s a super cool blind DJ named Super Soul (Cleavon Little – in the pic above) who hears about Kowalski’s mission & the cops who are on his tail so uses his radio broadcast to help him evade the police. There’s also a guy in the desert collecting snakes for his religious cult, two “just married” male hitchhikers who try to rob Kowalski, plus a biker who tries to help by giving him pills to keep him awake. Oh – And, of course, the biker’s girlfriend who rides around on a motorcycle fully nude. As you do. Then we get a “WTF?” ending they’d totally change if (when?) some unoriginal Hollywood idiots decide to remake this. (Oh shit – in just now looking for pictures to use in this review, I see this WAS remade in 1997. Except Viggo Mortensen’s Kowalski is trying to get home to his wife who has gone into labor. Puh-LEASE! Argh! I hate Hollywood!!!!)

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Summary:

Vanishing Point is Seventies Goodness.

My Rating: 7/10

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From Beyond (1986) Review for Halloween Horror Fest

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Bloody hell I can’t find a good poster for this movie…

From Beyond (1986)

Directed by Stuart Gordon

Based on From Beyond by H.P. Lovecraft

Starring:
Jeffrey Combs
Barbara Crampton
Ken Foree
Ted Sorel
Carolyn Purdy-Gordon

Running time: 80 minutes (original), 85 minutes (unrated)

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
From Beyond centers around a pair of scientists attempting to stimulate the pineal gland with a device called The Resonator. An unforeseen result of their experiments is the ability to perceive creatures from another dimension that proceed to drag the head scientist into their world, returning him as a grotesque shape-changing monster that preys upon the others at the laboratory.

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Before I Start…

This review will be full of SPOILERS, especially in the pictures. But I HAVE to include the pictures – this movie is mental.

This is the first movie I’m reviewing for my Halloween Horror Fest. Saw it about a month ago. Now, this is a film that is definitely not for everyone. If you like Re-Animator meets Society meets Slither meets The Thing meets David Cronenberg meets H.R. Giger-type sexual imagery meets “body horror”, From Beyond will be right up your alley. If you’re now looking at me like I’m nuts, you might want to skip this one.

Put it this way – there was this annoying woman I used to work with and couldn’t stand. She was all “perfect mother”, “perfect housewife”, yada yada. She used to look at me like I was mental when I would go all geeky discussing films & couldn’t understand why I had no interest in the things she did for fun like sew & bake cakes (nothing against anyone here who does these things for fun!). My point is this: If she still worked with me, I’d totally recommend From Beyond to her in the hope that she would hate me forever & stop talking to me. It’s one of those types of movies.

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My Opinion:

Like I said – If you like any of the movies that I mentioned above, you’ll like this. This was made by Stuart Gordon, who also made Re-Animator. Both films also star Jeffrey Combs & Barbara Crampton and are (I assume very loosely!) based on H.P. Lovecraft stories. (Barbara Crampton also starred in the recent horror You’re Next). I know Re-Animator is a cult classic but I’d not heard of From Beyond until recently. I think it’s just as good/bad as Re-Animator. I actually think it’s more memorable.

20131011-092854 am.jpgSo anyway – these two scientist dudes are conducting experiments to stimulate the pineal gland, a small gland in the brain which apparently (according to this movie, at least!) looks like a tiny penis. Especially when the experiment causes it to grow & pop out of this dude’s head. Yeah, spoiler. But, seriously – check this shit out!:

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Hilarious! Anyway, I’ve looked the pineal gland up online and still don’t fully understand why stimulating it makes you all into S&M and made Barbara Crampton put this outfit on:

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I also don’t understand why it allows you to see creatures from another dimension. But, anyway, it does in this film. It also makes you want to eat brains. Yum.

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Ken Foree, the dude above, is from one of my all-time favorite movies (Dawn Of The Dead) so it was cool seeing him here. Barbara Crampton gets naked (as usual?) so guys should like that. And. Yeah. Not much else to say. This movie was probably even more fun than Romero’s Monkey Shines. It’s completely mental. And that phallic pineal gland will haunt me forever.

My Rating: 6/10

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My From Beyond Haiku:

Brains and S&M
Protruding pineal glands
Naked Crampton boobs

My Review Of The Hottie & The Nottie At The IPC

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Thanks to Eric at The IPC for letting me participate in Shitfest 2013: Fall. I think. I mean, I watched The Hottie & The Nottie… It wasn’t easy! Review HERE.

Seriously – check out his site if you haven’t already. His movie reviews are hilarious and always a fun read. 🙂

Jonathan Levine’s All The Boys Love Mandy Lane Finally Gets Release Date

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I posted a while back that this movie will FINALLY be coming out in the US seven years after it was first released elsewhere. I saw it in the UK years ago and, although I’m not really a fan of horror these days, I thought it wasn’t too horrible compared to all the other crap out there. And Amber Heard is a hottie.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is set for a VOD release on September 6, followed by a limited theatrical run starting October 11.

Link to article & trailer here: SlashFilm

And Amber Heard falling out of her top a bit as Mandy Lane:

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Tucker And Dale Vs Evil (2010) Review

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Tucker And Dale Vs Evil

Directed by Eli Craig

Starring:
Tyler Labine
Alan Tudyk
Katrina Bowden
Jesse Moss

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Plot:

A comedy horror in which two “simple” but sweet hillbillies, Dale played by Tyler Labine & Tucker played by Alan Tudyk, are on their way to the “dream vacation home” (a rundown shack) they’ve just bought deep in the woods of West Virginia. While at a gas station, they encounter a group of college students who are there to do some camping. The snobby students are immediately freaked out by these “hillbillies”, especially when Dale tries to talk to one of them (Allison played by Katrina Bowden). Mistaking his nervousness at talking to a pretty girl for “maniacal hillbilly craziness”, the college students flee. Later, when the students decide to do some skinny dipping in the lake where Tucker & Dale happen to be fishing, Allison is startled & bumps her head. Tucker & Dale save her but the other students again flee, thinking they’ve kidnapped her.

What follows as the students try to “rescue” Allison from the hillbillies’ cabin are a series of hilarious deadly mishaps which further reinforce the students’ belief that the hillbillies are killers while a baffled Tucker & Dale are confused as to why these students seem to have some crazy kind of suicide pact.

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My Opinion:

This was a pleasant surprise! Especially as I’ve liked very few horror movies since the 70s & 80s (The Omen & The Shining are my type of thing with a bit of the Nightmare On Elm Street-type 80s slasher). I’m even pickier on comedy – I can’t say I’ve found many movies funny since the days of Wayne’s World, The Princess Bride & This Is Spinal Tap. Yeah, I’m old & grumpy. But Tucker And Dale had me laughing throughout the whole movie. As for the “horror”, it’s harder for me to say if horror fans liked this? The gore is cheesy & the film has that very 80s look overall as that’s (I assume?) what they’re going for since it’s a send-up of 80s slasher flicks. I liked that and it worked perfectly for this film.

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This movie never “tries too hard” on the comedy, which is kind of refreshing. This is NOT, I repeat NOT, one of those horrible Scary Movie movies. This was made by someone with a brain who knows that being more subtle on the comedy isn’t a bad thing and who clearly has a love for 80s slashers and can make fun of them in just the right way. It’s also clearly made by someone the same sort of age as me, though, so I think this movie probably wouldn’t appeal so much to the younger Saw generation who didn’t grow up on 70s & 80s horror movies and might not get the comedy in this. And, of course, they’d just moan at the gore looking unrealistic and cheesy. And that it’s not in 3D with blood, vomit & entrails popping out of the screen at you. Kids these days – they don’t know what’s good. 😉

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Summary:

A thoroughly fun & entertaining comedy horror that lovingly pokes fun at the 80s slasher flick and the horror clichés of dumb college students doing every dumb thing possible in order to “escape” crazy inbred hillbilly maniacs. It takes what’s actually a very simple idea of having the hillbillies just be two nice guys who think that they’re actually the ones being terrorized by college kids who seem to have completely lost their minds and gives us a clever film that, in never trying too hard to please the audience, manages to do just that. However, you’re probably much more likely to enjoy this if, like me, you’re of the age where you grew up on 70s & 80s horror flicks.

My Rating: 7.5/10

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All the movies I’ve seen in 2013 – Yep, Tucker And Dale comes in just under a Hitchcock film… 🙂

My Top Ten Shower & Bath Scenes In Movies

Ever since I reviewed John Carpenter’s The Ward & happened to mention the shower scene with Amber Heard, I see variations of the search term “Amber Heard shower scene” bringing someone to my blog on a daily basis. Pervs! So, screw it – I’ll make a list! Here are my top ten movie shower (or bath) scenes starting with the best:

1. Psycho

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Obviously.

2. Hardware

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Such an underrated cult classic! I never know anyone who has seen this movie. And the shower scene is awesome with one of the BEST movie songs ever – The Order Of Death by Public Image Limited.

3. Carrie

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Dirty Pillows!

4. American Beauty

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“This will be the high point of my day: It’s all downhill from here.”

5. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

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“I recall Central Park in fall.”

6. Weird Science

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“If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it’s a mindscrambler. Hurts so good.”

7. A Nightmare On Elm Street

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One, two, Freddy’s coming for you…

8. The Shining

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All work & no play makes Jack make-out with creepy dead woman.

8. It

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Argh! Pennywise! Creepy f@#king clown!!! I don’t even want this damn picture on my blog!

10. Blade

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Cool bloodbath (well, more like bloodSHOWER) club scene. Set to the tune of the Pump Panel remix of New Order’s Confusion.

Honorable Mentions:
Slither
Arachnophobia
Fatal Attraction
What Lies Beneath
Pleasantville
Porky’s
Pretty Woman
The Big Lebowski
Stoker

For the guys:
Starship Troopers (I hate this movie)

Words to bring the pervs in: Hot, Steamy, Sexy, Naked, Boobies. Lol! They’ll be disappointed – my list isn’t very hot or steamy. 😉

Here’s Amber Heard wet in the shower in The Ward:

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Hardware shower scene with Public Image Ltd song The Order Of Death:

Happy Birthday to Jack Nicholson & Amber Heard

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I didn’t know one of my favorite actors & my favorite girl crush shared a birthday.

My favorite Jack Nicholson movie: Definitely One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest but he’s been in lots of great ones. I think I may need to do a list of my top five Jack Nicholson movies soon…

My favorite Amber Heard movie: Zombieland

The movie where Amber Heard looks the hottest: All The Boys Love Mandy Lane

Other celebrity birthdays today:
Catherine Mary Stewart (favorite CMS movie: Night Of The Comet)
Bettie Page
Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Aaron Spelling
John Waters
Ryan Stiles
Sheryl Lee
Glen Campbell
Peter Frampton

But back to Amber Heard: she’s hot. Let’s look at some photos of her.

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This Week’s Movie Quote

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Lisa: You know, there’s going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll… chips, dips, chains, whips… You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I’m not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals.

Weird Science (1985)