Annabelle: Creation, The Autopsy Of Jane Doe & It Comes At Night Movie Reviews

Here’s another repost of three super brief “reviews” of three dreadful horror movies I watched this year. I desperately need to see a GOOD horror film. Here’s hoping Mandy lives up to the hype. I’ve booked a ticket to see it this week. Can’t wait!

Annabelle: Creation (2017)

Directed by David F. Sandberg

Starring: Stephanie Sigman, Talitha Bateman, Anthony LaPaglia, Miranda Otto

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
Annabelle: Creation is a prequel to 2014’s Annabelle and the fourth installment in The Conjuring Universe. The film stars Stephanie Sigman, Talitha Bateman, Anthony LaPaglia, and Miranda Otto, and depicts the possessed Annabelle doll’s origin.

My Brief Opinion:

Ugh. I trashed the first movie HERE. The first film was ridiculous and couldn’t have been more cliché. At first, it seemed that this one was going to be much better. Oh, hell no! It’s even worse. I think it made me appreciate the first film more, even with all its overused horror tropes. Those things are overused because they sometimes work. This sequel probably could have used a little more of that. I dunno. I think what annoys me with modern horror films such as these, besides the predictability and stupid jump scares and lack of originality or good storytelling, is the filmmakers’ obvious hatred for the characters. The characters are only there to die. So why would I give a shit about what happens? In that case, I’d rather watch silly 80’s slashers which had a sense of fun. We need at least one person to root for/to possibly survive/to not be possessed. I mean, we do have a nice group of young girls I wanted to like but they got so little character development. And a tragic beginning turns a sweet couple into “creepy people who act strange”. It doesn’t end well in this film for people who don’t deserve to suffer (sorry if that’s spoiler-y). And, okay, maybe I don’t like sweet young girls turning into psychotic demons. Well, maybe in a good movie. Actually, I like demonic kids – The Omen is awesome… Never mind. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. This movie just sucked.

Oh, hey – I suppose I can again use this opportunity to link to my post of My Top Ten Creepy Dolls In Movies & TV. And, as I reviewed The Nun last week, here are my reviews & ratings of all the Conjuring Universe films:

The Conjuring – 7.5/10
The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case – 6/10
The Nun – 5.5/10
Annabelle – 5/10
Annabelle: Creation – 4.5/10

My Rating: 4.5/10

The Autopsy Of Jane Doe (2016)

Directed by André Øvredal

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Brian Cox, Olwen Catherine Kelly

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The film stars Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox as father-and-son coroners who experience supernatural phenomena while examining the body of an unidentified woman (played by Olwen Kelly).

My Brief Opinion:

Why do I bother to watch modern horror movies when 90% of them suck? Like this one. I don’t know if I have the energy to again do horror movie reviews for all of October this year. If I do, I’ll review this piece of shit. For now, I’ll be nice and say that at least this one also had a fairly original concept and going through the stages of the autopsy was kind of interesting.

**Okay – that was my initial review. Damn! I guess I didn’t actually review this. Since seeing this film, I’ve seen far worse (Jug Face – WTF was that?! I’ll review that later this week). So I’m now thinking I was a little harsh on this one. I’ll say that this one did have a fairly creepy atmosphere. I mean, what’s more creepy than a morgue? And it started out fairly promising. As I said, the stages of the autopsy were interesting as they found more & more bizarre things to do with this unidentified girl’s body. Too bad it turned too silly by the end, as most horror movies do.

My Rating: 4.5/10

It Comes At Night (2017)

Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Starring: Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Riley Keough

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son. Then a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge.

My Brief Opinion:

Another 2017 movie that I was wanting to see ASAP due to its rave reviews at the time. WTF?! I was bored out of my damn mind! I’m starting to truly believe that IMDb is being filled with fake reviews written by the studios. This has a 78 out of 100 metascore?! Fuck off! Nothing happens in this but, to be fair, there’s more of a plot than the mumblegore stuff. The performances are good, especially from Joel Edgerton’s son in the movie (Kelvin Harrison Jr). But. But. Ugh. I don’t know. If someone here did like this, I’d genuinely be interested to hear why. Because maybe I’m missing something since, for a horror, it has a decent IMDb user rating as well (6.2). I’m really annoyed with the shitty movies I wasted time on this year. I have too many other things to do.

My Rating: 4.5/10

Fantastic Beasts And Where to Find Them (2016) Review

Fantastic Beasts And Where to Find Them (2016)

Directed by David Yates

Based on Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by J. K. Rowling

Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler, Alison Sudol, Ezra Miller, Samantha Morton, Jon Voight, Carmen Ejogo, Colin Farrell

Music by James Newton Howard

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
The adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York’s secret community of witches and wizards seventy years before Harry Potter reads his book in school.

My Opinion:

I always say this then meander on for ages but I really mean it this time: I’ll keep this review very short. Why? Because I don’t have much to say. Sadly, I found this film to be a bit of a bore. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t actively like it, either, which is actually worse than hating the f*^k out of a movie. At least the hateful ones stir up some actual emotions! And the most-hated ones are fun to bitch about. There’s nothing worse than boring when it comes to entertainment & the arts. Have some balls! Make something worth watching/looking at/listening to/appreciating/hating the f*^k out of! Don’t waste my time.

I do like Harry Potter. I absolutely loved the books as I read them but they didn’t end up as all-time favorites of mine in the same way things like The Lord Of The Rings did. The movies were fine and I enjoy seeing books I like adapted for the screen but I didn’t exactly obsess over the movies & I’ve never re-watched any. Actually, I’ve not even watched the final film… Although the books were thoroughly enjoyable, I’m far from being an “obsessive Harry Potter fan” so bear in mind that I won’t automatically be worshipping this film like a fan would. I’ve not read Fantastic Beasts and went into this knowing very little other than that it was set in America 70ish years before the events of Harry Potter (right???).

Where do I start? First of all, I didn’t feel any connection to the characters & didn’t care what would happen to them. I’ve not seen Eddie Redmayne’s biggest “Oscar” performances but I’m sorry to say I’m not a fan based on his few films I’ve seen. As he’s the main character, it didn’t help that I find him & his haircut mildly annoying. Katherine Waterston, the second-biggest character, was fine but so looks like a cross between Jennifer Jason Leigh & that chick from ER (Maura Tierney – had to look her up) that I was constantly distracted by this. The woman playing her sister, Alison Sudol, had the potential to be hateful but definitely grew on me. Actually, her character and the “muggle” played by Dan Fogler ended up being the characters I liked & cared about the most (See? I’m not totally dismissive. I said something nice!). Ezra Miller & Samantha Morton, both great actors, were completely wasted in dull roles. Jon Voight was as Jon Voight-y as always & Colin Farrell was the boringly bland baddie I expected (I rarely like his performances). Oh! And then there’s Johnny Depp, of course. Is that a spoiler?? It’s an extremely small role clearly destined for big things in the sequels. He’s his usual “Look at me, I’m quirky!” self. I HATE that seeing him in movies just makes me cringe now. He used to be my favorite actor! What the hell happened??

I’m meandering! I’ll wrap this up. Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them is an overlong & overcomplicated film that feels like another cash-grab due to the fact that it’s going to be yet another damn series of movies. To be fair, I didn’t have this issue with Harry Potter as it was already a series of books where each individual book was as great as the overall story (although the final book being two movies gets on my nerves). I may have liked Fantastic Beasts more if it was just one movie with a proper conclusion & no “wait for the sequel!” cliffhangers. Knowing there are going to be four more films just exhausts me, to be honest. It’s highly unlikely I’ll bother with them (unless I get another free pass like I had for this one). I don’t know the Harry Potter world well enough to have noticed the connections that fans will have loved but I didn’t feel like there were many links at this point? I’m also confused as to who this film is actually aimed at. The characters are adults so kids won’t go for it (my 7-year-old didn’t really like it plus it was borderline too scary). I guess it’s for those who grew up on Harry Potter & are now in their late twenties or so? It just seems like a very small target audience and I can’t see it gaining any new fans who aren’t already Potter fans. I guess the beasts themselves were okay, though cheesy-looking (my favorite was this dude but he’s too similar to the much cooler Groot).

As for the story… Meh. I didn’t fully follow what was going on. But I did fall asleep at some point in the middle, which didn’t help. Yep – I fell asleep in the cinema! As did the other adult I was with. I never do that. I call that proof that Fantastic Beasts is a bit of a snoozefest. It’s not a bad film but I find J.K. Rowling’s tweets far more entertaining than the story in this.

My Rating: 6/10

The Purge: Anarchy (2014) Review

The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

Directed by James DeMonaco

Starring:
Frank Grillo
Carmen Ejogo
Zach Gilford
Kiele Sanchez
Michael K. Williams

Running time: 103 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
Three groups of people are trying to survive Purge Night, when their stories intertwine and they are left stranded in The Purge trying to survive the chaos and violence that occurs.

My Opinion:

I’ll be honest – I liked the first The Purge and my opinion wasn’t all that popular when I reviewed it (review HERE). Well, my opinion of it has actually gone up since then (I gave it a 6.5/10 & said it was almost a 7/10). I remember I later reviewed You’re Next (HERE) and annoyed a few people when I declared that I preferred The Purge to You’re Next (and I stand by my opinion). Is The Purge: Anarchy better than the first Purge film? It would certainly seem so as it did better at the box office (I believe) and has a much higher IMDB rating. Well, it’s not better! The first was better! IMDB users confuse me these days. This wasn’t horrible or anything – it was okay as far as sequels go but it was just a bit “what’s the point?”.

I found it interesting that this movie didn’t have any well known actors in it. I prefer that sometimes, especially with movies like these as I think it’s easier to buy into an original sort of concept such as this one when you don’t end up sitting there thinking “It’s Ethan Hawke!” the whole time. Having said that, though, I think the first film still did a slightly better job of making its point than the sequel did. However, both films left me disappointed as neither one really explored all the moral implications involved in having one night a year in which all crime, including murder, is legal. This was my main complaint about the first film – GREAT concept but not that well executed. When I heard there would be a sequel, I knew it would go one of two ways: it would either be a more intelligent film than the first one & would aim to be more “thriller” than horror or it would decide to up the violence and be more of a horror movie with more action & even less exploration of the effects on America of having an annual “Purge” night. Then Michael Bay’s name was attached to it & I was like “Shit!”.

Luckily, The Purge: Anarchy isn’t a total Michael Bay disaster (he was only a producer so I don’t know if he actually had much involvement). They did up the action compared to the first one and there were more characters & storylines going on as the first film focused just on one home invasion whereas this one focused on a group of people caught outside on Purge night. Anarchy also added a Saw/Texas Chainsaw Massacre-like character that felt a little silly and it shoved the “rich vs poor” thing down our throats WAY too much. I was disappointed with the message being so heavy handed in this one and I still feel like they need to try one more time to take this idea & do it properly. There’s so much wasted potential with both these films! Since the first movie was about one family & the second was about a small group of people in one city, it would be good if the third one could show us the effects the Purge has had on all of America further down the line (I could be wrong but I think these two films are set only a year apart). Yeah? Someone give me some money – I want to make the third film myself!

Summary:

The Purge: Anarchy is an okay film with a great concept. I still think the first film is superior as, although it had its flaws, it was more intense and worked as a somewhat scary home invasion movie (I thought it felt a lot like The Strangers, which I found genuinely creepy unlike the majority of modern horror films). The characters are a bit more likeable in the second film but the story is much more predictable (especially the final outcome for our main “hero”). The message is too in-your-face in that sort of “we’re assuming our target audience is dumb” kind of way that always annoys me. Neither Purge film comes close to living up to the potential of the simple yet brilliant idea of “America having an annual Purge Night” and the second film, although it tries much harder to make a point, does a poor job of it by simplifying the story too much and turning it into more of a social commentary on the current state of affairs in America as opposed to the future America portrayed in the film. But I suppose that is kind of the point as this is only set several years into the future and the America in these movies feels no different to the America of today (just as heavily armed but, for one night a year, you’re allowed to kill anyone you please). If I were to stop overthinking things, I’d have to say I think both these movies aren’t too bad & I liked them both (especially the first one – it’s a good home invasion movie at the very least). I just get frustrated by movies that have so much wasted potential and end up being a little more harsh on them than I would be on a big “popcorn blockbuster”. I still hope, if there’s a third film, that it aims more for the intelligent thriller genre than horror. These movies seem just a little too confused as to which genre and target audience they’re aiming for.

My Rating: 7/10

**Rating upped after watching the final film, The Purge: Election Year, as I think this is a very solid trilogy & the first two films have gone up even more in my estimation.

**FYI – I went to Secret Cinema (Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back) in London last night. It was a fun experience! I’d not done a Secret Cinema before. I’ll try to get a post together about it soon. 🙂