My Top Ten Brian De Palma Movies

Happy Birthday to Brian De Palma, who turns 78 today.

I really love some of De Palma’s films. And feel “meh” about some. And kind of hate a couple. And still haven’t seen some of his big ones (I’ve listed those at the end). His movies really are all over the place on quality & on genre! I do really like when he’s gone more “horror” but his crime films are great.

So here are my top ten De Palma films that I’ve seen, although I didn’t really like number 10 and barely remember number 9. And 11 was…. Ugh! I’m sure some of those I haven’t seen or need to re-watch would make this list (certainly Blow Out or Body Double). I’ll update this list when I see or re-watch any.

My Top Ten Brian De Palma Movies (I’ve seen 11…):

11. Mission To Mars (UGH)

Top Ten:

10. Snake Eyes (ugh)

9. Casualties Of War

8. The Fury

7. Mission: Impossible

6. Sisters (aka Blood Sisters)

5. Carlito’s Way (I could do with re-watching this…)

4. Phantom Of The Paradise

3. Scarface

2. The Untouchables

1. Carrie

Saw But Need To Re-Watch As Don’t Really Remember Them:
Blow Out & Body Double

Some I’ve Not Seen:
Hi, Mom!, Obsession, Dressed To Kill, The Bonfire Of The Vanities, Raising Cain, The Black Dahlia, Redacted, Passion

**Oh, and De Palma made that Bruce Springsteen video for Dancing In The Dark where he pulls that “random” pretty girl (Courteney Cox) out of the audience to dance with him (this is probably the only time you’ll see a Springsteen video on this blog. I’m not a fan…):

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My Top Ten Stephen King Movies

Welcome to Day Two of Stephen King Week! King turns 70 on Thursday so I’m going to post something King-related all week. One book review (End Of Watch, yesterday), two movie reviews (including the new It film tomorrow), and two Top Ten lists. Here’s my list of My Top Ten Stephen King Movies.

I love when Stephen King’s novels are made into movies, even though some of the films have been atrociously bad. But I do my best to watch every adaptation that I can, and… Holy shit – I’ve watched a lot. I think this is the longest list I’ve ever done since I now choose to rank everything that I’ve seen instead of just the top ten. Wait – I lie! My list of My Top “Ten” Best Picture Oscar Winners is slightly longer. But not much.

For this list, I’ve excluded TV shows & most straight-to-TV mini-series(es?!). I cheated & included It (1990) & Salem’s Lot (1979), however. They’re so good we’ll pretend they were theatrical releases (which they actually were in the UK, I think). Some others may have been TV – hard to remember. Enough faffing! Let’s start this countdown.

Here are My Top Ten Stephen King Movies (from least favorite to favorite & not judging on if they’re “loyal” to the book). I could do with re-watching a lot outside the top twenty so don’t take the order of those too seriously… 😉

**Edited October 22nd 2017 to add Gerald’s Game & 1922 & the new Pet Sematary April 2019**

The Rest That I’ve Seen:

44. The Mangler
43. Sleepwalkers
42. TIE: The Lawnmower Man (WTF? Shares only the title.) & The Dark Tower (WTF? Also nothing like the book.)
41. Dolan’s Cadillac
40. Rose Red
39. The Night Flier (Don’t really remember this)
38. Sometimes They Come Back
37. Dreamcatcher (Why, Morgan?!)
36. Quicksilver Highway
35. Desperation (Also don’t really remember)
34. 1922
33. Cell
32. Storm Of The Century
31. A Good Marriage
30. Carrie (2013)
29. The Dark Half
28. Pet Sematary (2019)
27. Apt Pupil
26. Dolores Claiborne (Could do with re-watching)
25. Thinner
24. Secret Window
23. Needful Things
22. The Langoliers
21. Hearts In Atlantis (I need to re-watch this – it probably deserves to be higher)

Top Twenty:

20. Christine (Again, I could do with re-watching this)
19. 1408
18. Firestarter
17. Cujo (Although the complete change of ending was odd)
16. Maximum Overdrive (I like this more than I should. The soundtrack helps.)
15. Children Of The Corn (I like this. Not ashamed. Malachai!)
14. Creepshow 1 & 2 (I could do with re-watching. To be honest, I’m not sure which is which so stuck them together)
13. Misery (I know this should be higher)
12. Silver Bullet (I know this should be lower but, you know, it has one of the Two Coreys…)
11. Cat’s Eye

Top Ten:

10. TIE: The Running Man & Gerald’s Game

9. ‘Salem’s Lot

8. The Dead Zone

7. Pet Sematary

6. The Mist

5. TIE: It (1990) & It (2017) (In all honesty, the 2017 adaptation is the superior film but I’ll always have affection for the 1990 version and, of course, Tim Curry)

4. The Green Mile

3. Carrie

2. The Shining

1. TIE: Stand By Me & The Shawshank Redemption (Sorry. Don’t make me choose between them!)

Movies Not Seen:
Graveyard Shift, Tales From The Darkside: The Movie, Children Of The Corn II through VIII & TV Movie, Sometimes They Come Back…Again & …For More, Trucks, The Rage: Carrie 2, Firestarter 2, Carrie (2002), The Diary Of Ellen Rimbauer, Riding The Bullet, ‘Salem’s Lot (2004), Big Driver

TV Series/TV Movies:

Seen:
Golden Years, The Tommyknockers, The Stand, The Shining (1997), Nightmares & Dreamscapes, Haven (Saw most of. Stopped watching when it stopped being pretty damn good.)

Didn’t finish:
Under The Dome (Started. Stopped. Not bothered. Hated the book’s characters.), The Dead Zone (2002) (Saw most of this. Pretty good show. Need to finish.), 11.22.63 (Started. Just don’t have the time to devote to TV shows nowadays.)

Not Seen:
Bag Of Bones, Kingdom Hospital, Mr. Mercedes, The Mist (2017), Various short stories…

**I cannot WAIT for Castle Rock to start up as I adore King’s short stories & want to see more of them made! But it’s gonna air on this Hulu thingymabob so who the hell knows how/when/if I’ll ever see that in the UK… 😦

My Top Ten Crazy Ladies In Movies

I love crazy ladies in movies! I was going to call this “Crazy Bitches” but didn’t want to get in trouble as people are so on edge about these sort of things nowadays. Actually, I could also be in trouble for using the word “crazy”, I suppose. I’m female so am I allowed to say “crazy bitch”?!

I feel like I should be offended when movies portray women as mentally unstable, especially when it’s over a “man”. But I’m not (well, okay – I’m a little offended by the “crazy ex-girlfriend” thing – the majority of us aren’t obsessed with men, believe it or not!). There are plenty of psychotic men in movies & no one seems to have any issues with that. Is it only okay for men to be psychos?

I have no issues with psychotic male or female characters – as long as the actor has fun with the role. The more over-the-top the better! I love when an actor clearly enjoys playing crazy & goes all out, like Jack Nicholson in The Shining or Kathy Bates in Misery. I have to say that I think it’s kind of funny that the term “bunny boiler” is so commonly used now, though. It just goes to show how great Glenn Close was in Fatal Attraction (written & directed by men). Women rarely get that crazy over men as far as I’m aware but it’s interesting that some guys think we might! 😉

Here are My Top Ten Crazy Ladies In Movies, counting down to my favorite:

10. Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Voorhees in Friday The 13th

9. Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard

8. Samantha Eggar as Nola Carveth in The Brood

7. Jessica Walter as Evelyn in Play Misty For Me

6. Lara Flynn Boyle as Stacy in Wayne’s World

5. The Xenomorph Queen in Aliens

4. Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes in Misery

3. Betty Lou Gerson as the voice of Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalmatians

2. Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction

1. Piper Laurie as Margaret White in Carrie

I’ve left SO many out. It was hard to choose only ten! So here’s a long list of honorable mentions (and I’ve still left a lot out):

Honorable Mentions:

All the kick-ass ladies in Kill Bill
– Billie Whitelaw as Mrs. Baylock in The Omen
– Betty Davis as Baby Jane Hudson in What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?
– Marcia Gay Harden as Mrs. Carmody in The Mist
– Natalie Portman as Nina Sayers in Black Swan
– Fairuza Balk as Nancy Downs in The Craft
– Eleanor Audley as the voice of Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty
– Rosamund Pike as Amy Dunne in Gone Girl
– Essie Davis as Amelia in The Babadook
– Nicole Kidman as Grace Stewart in The Others
– Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct
– Juliette Lewis as Mallory Knox in Natural Born Killers
– Jennifer Jason Leigh as Hedra Carlson in Single White Female
– Rebecca De Mornay as Peyton Flanders in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
– Drew Barrymore as Ivy in Poison Ivy
– Elizabeth Taylor as Martha in Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?
– Kate Winslet as Juliet Hulme & Melanie Lynskey as Pauline Parker in Heavenly Creatures
– Margot Kidder as Danielle in Sisters
– Deanna Dunagan as Nana in The Visit
– Anthony Perkins in Psycho…

A Few I’ve Not Seen:
Audition
Mommie Dearest
Switchblade Romance
Suicide Squad

And here’s a shoutout to Crazy TV Ladies, including most of the females in Game Of Thrones! Love those Game Of Thrones gals.

Let’s end this with Taylor Swift’s video for Blank Space… 😉

I bet no one who knows my taste in music ever thought they’d see a Taylor Swift video on my blog! It just felt like the right video to end this post. To be fair to Swift, it’s cool that she had fun with the media’s unfair image of her.

You can read a great article about the portrayal of women as “crazy” & the sexist double standards that still exist in Hollywood (and in real life) HERE at dailydot.com. It starts out about Swift but then gets into detail about the history of the sexist treatment of famous women.

My Top Ten Period Dramas 

Yeah, you know I’m not talking about movies like Pride & Prejudice. No way! I’m talking about movies like Carrie. I’m talking about menstruation. Yep!

This is a Top Ten list I’ve been planning on posting for ages but it just never seemed the right time (of month! HA!). I was partly inspired to finally put this post together thanks to Deadpool having a JUDY BLUME joke in it! I know I was the only old American chick at the showing I went to so I was the only one who got the joke when Deadpool was bleeding all over the place & said “Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret!”. That joke is still cracking me up. I’m so old school…

It was hard to know what order to put these in but I’ve basically ranked them according to how good/funny/memorable/graphic the movie’s period scene was. I’ve already given away my number one in that first picture but, seriously, what movie other than Carrie could EVER top the Period Movie List? 😉

So here we go! Here are My Top Ten Period (as in, Menstruating) Movie Moments:

10. Pretty In Pink

Okay, so this is the “least period-y” period moment but it’s a cute one. Duckie was so adorable. And I really didn’t want to include something like Superbad in the ten as I find that period scene pretty ridiculous (I’ve included it with some honorable mentions at the end).

9. The Blue Lagoon

Yes, The Blue Lagoon is an absolutely dreadful movie! But at least it’s realistic, I suppose, that Brooke Shields would freak out over her first period since she’s growing up without any adults & has no idea what’s happening to her. Imagine how scary that would be! I’m sure that some girls these days are still not told anything about periods before they start them and that just seems really cruel…

8. A Tale Of Two Sisters

This is a really good South Korean horror (remade by Hollywood as The Uninvited) and I’m pretty sure that the scene in which the younger sister gets her period is symbolic of… Something. But the movie was pretty confusing overall, so, I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure the period scene had some sort of important significance as to what’s actually going on! Right? 😉

7. Boys Don’t Cry

This movie upset me quite a lot as it was a true story & I’ve never watched it again but I remember Hilary Swank’s Brandon Teena having to hide his used tampons/sanitary napkins under his mattress so no one would realize he was a girl? It’s a movie I’d most definitely recommend but it’s one of the heaviest & most depressing that I’ve ever watched so be prepared for that if you’ve never seen it.

6. The Legend Of Billie Jean

Aww. This movie is SO Eighties but I can’t help but have an affection for it. It’s weird to hear Yeardley Smith’s Lisa Simpson voice talking about getting a diaphragm after finally starting her period for the first time while on the run with “fugitive” Billie Jean. 

5. The Runaways

I thought this was a great movie (even though Kristen Stewart, as Joan Jett, was in it) and I had to include the graphic period scene since a drop of blood falling onto the ground (from Dakota Fanning, as Cherie Currie) is the opening shot of the film. Here’s the beginning of the movie:

4. My Girl

I love My Girl and love love love the scene, after Vada realizes that she isn’t hemorrhaging to death, where she pushes Macauley Culkin over after he asks if she wants to go swimming and she shouts “and don’t come back for five to seven days!” Haha! It really is a bloody good movie.

3. Sixteen Candles

I think this scene is absolutely hilarious. What the HELL kind of drugs did she take for her cramps?! I want some of that!!

2. Ginger Snaps

I thought that Ginger Snaps was quite a good & clever film (as far as horrors go) and can’t believe it took so long to make a movie linking puberty, periods, full moons, and werewolves. It makes perfect sense!

1. Carrie

Plug it up! Plug it up! My god this scene is horrifying. I think this scene most accurately portrays what it’s actually like when this happens for the first time. I don’t care what anyone says! “Beautiful” and “all part of becoming a woman” my ass. The first time feels like a horror movie and that’s even when you actually knew it was going to happen eventually (unless you also had a crazy bitch of a mother like Carrie’s…).

Honorable Mentions:

Square Dance (aka Home Is Where The Heart Is) (I think I’m the only person in the world who saw this coming-of-age movie starring a young Winona Ryder)
The Thorn Birds (I love The Thorn Birds! And it’s soooo not a “me” movie!)
Pitch Black (the period bit is a stupid scene within an entire movie filled with outrageous stupidity)
Superbad (I actually think the “perioded on my leg” thing is pretty dumb)

And, finally, Charlie Bartlett:

My Top Ten Horror Movie Quotes

Happy October everyone! Let’s kick off this month of horror with a top ten list of my favorite horror movie quotes. 🙂

I fully expect to have missed some with this list (I don’t re-watch horror movies to the degree that I watch favorites from other genres) but I’ve tried to pick the first quotes that popped into my head from my favorites. Oh, and I’ve never considered the Alien films or Jaws to be horror, FYI, so you won’t find “Get away from her, you bitch!” or “You’re gonna need a bigger boat” on this list. Those would top the list.

So here are my mainstream & super obvious Top Ten Horror Movie Quotes:

10. “If it’s in a word, or it’s in a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook.”

As Heard In: The Babadook

I loved The Babadook – it was one of the very few horror films after 1989 that didn’t totally suck. Anyway, nothing is more freaky than that damn book and this is a cool rhyme (even though it doesn’t actually rhyme if you have an American accent…).

9. “The soil in a man’s heart is stonier.”

As Heard In: Pet Sematary

This is probably my only choice on this list that’s not totally predictable. I don’t know why but I had a slight obsession with this movie when it came out – it probably helped going & seeing it with a group of friends (I assume it was rated R? I actually wasn’t old enough. Hmm). Plus, one girl would shout out “PASCOW!” at school for months after seeing this. Anyway, “Sometimes dead is better” is probably the more famous line but the above quote, said by two characters, is more important to the story & the one I always liked.

8. “They’re all gonna laugh at you!”

As Heard In: Carrie

I also love “I can see your dirty pillows.” Ha! Dirty pillows! Carrie’s mom is such a nutjob. Yeah, I like my Stephen King movies…

7. “You are all my children now.”

As Heard In: A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge

Oh man, there are SO many A Nightmare On Elm Street quotes to choose from! Funny I’ve chosen one from my least favorite & least watched of the series. In fact, I was like “does he say that in number 2??”. It’s just such a well known Freddy line. I was also always fond of “Welcome to prime time, bitch!” and Nancy’s “Whatever you do… don’t fall asleep“. Well, I have another one higher on the list.

6. TIE: “One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach; all the damn vampires.” & “Death by stereo!” & “My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire!”

As Heard In: The Lost Boys

Dammit, there are also so many quotes in The Lost Boys! I’m also fond of saying “Maggots, Michael. You’re eating maggots.” anytime we have Chinese food. Goddamn I must be shit-sucking annoying to live with.

5. “They’re here!”

As Heard In: Poltergeist

Well, duh. So obvious. But you all immediately knew what it was from!

4. “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again…”

As Heard In: A Nightmare On Elm Street

I’m a sucker for rhymes or creepy lyrics to the tune of some kids’ song. “One, two, buckle my shoe” will only bring the above lyrics to mind for a generation of Freddy fans now. Or, maybe more than one generation – you young kids seem to like this one too!

3. “Heeere’s Johnny!”

As Heard In: The Shining

Again, like the Poltergeist quote, this one is super obvious. But The Shining is my favorite horror movie (along with The Omen, the Nightmare On Elm Streets & the series that my top two are a part of) so it’s naturally going to be high on my list. Guess that’s three Stephen King movies on my list (even though he hates this movie).

2. “They’re coming to get you, Barbara!”

As Heard In: Night Of The Living Dead

I love Romero’s zombie movies (yes, even Day, Land and Diary. but especially Day!). The Barbara (it’s spelled “Barbra” on IMDB but that just looks weird) line has to be the most famous Romero line & the one I quote the most by far, unlike my number one choice. But number one is just so damn cool

1. “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth.”

As Heard In: Dawn Of The Dead

Love it. I don’t find this to be a very “quotable” quote like most of those on the list but it’s just such a great line. And I also love it being said by once again by Ken Foree in the (also totally excellent) 2004 remake. I suppose it’s somewhat quotable – you could say things like “When there’s no more room in hell, the Kardashians will walk the Earth“. Or something. Nah, that doesn’t really work – someone come up with something better! Well, I love these movies & keep saying every year that I’ll review the whole lot in October but never do. Maybe next year! 😉

Carrie (2013) Review

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Carrie (2013)

Directed by Kimberly Peirce

Based on Carrie by Stephen King

Starring:
Chloë Grace Moretz
Judy Greer
Portia Doubleday
Alex Russell
Gabriella Wilde
Julianne Moore

Running time: 99 minutes

Plot Synopsis:
Girl gets period, people piss her off, she becomes psychotic. I have days like that too.

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My Opinion:

First of all, I’m a huge Stephen King fan. Second of all, I have this confession to make: Carrie is one of the only books of his that I’ve not read. Thirdly, I love the original movie – it just makes it into the list of my Top Ten Horror Movies. Fourthly (Thirdly & fourthly are words, right?), REMAKES PISS ME OFF. So what did I think of yet another completely unnecessary remake?

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There may be a few SPOILERS here if you’ve actually not seen the original Carrie. If you have, you can probably read this whole review as this remake is pretty much EXACTLY the same movie but with added mobile phones (cell phones to you Americans). I don’t think I’ll be spoiling anything for those who’ve seen the original.

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The Actresses:

I’ve really liked Chloë Grace Moretz in everything I’ve seen her in so far and she does fine as Carrie. Her Carrie does NOT have the same sort of naive innocence yet underlying crazy THING going on behind the eyes that Sissy Spacek had, though. To be fair, I don’t think Moretz had much to work with here as this is just the 1976 movie with YouTube. It’s very hard to not picture Spacek in this role. I suppose it’s also hard to believe that a teenage girl would be as naive & sheltered in 2013 as one may have been in 1976. They show Carrie looking things up on the Internet on school computers in this one – surely she’d be Googling periods & sex & all that stuff her crazy mother tells her is a sin. Moretz is exactly who I’d have also chosen to play Carrie if I’d made this, though – it’s just hard to fully buy into her character if you know the original so well. Same goes for Julianne Moore – SUCH an obvious casting choice (or a lazy choice if you ask Mista Mutant). Yes, she’s good and does exactly what you expect her to do. But, you know… We’ve already seen this role played perfectly by Piper Laurie. Both the 2013 lead actresses are fine & exactly who I’d have chosen. All the other actresses are also fine (especially Gabriella Wilde as Sue Snell & Judy Greer as the gym teacher). But… What’s the point, really?

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The Movie:

Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed this movie (I know it hasn’t sounded like it so far). Don’t get me wrong – it’s still a completely pointless remake and will never top the original for me. But I’ve always liked the story. “Girl gets picked on by bitchy high school girls then gets sweet revenge!”. Who doesn’t like that? Especially if they’re a girl who lived through the dreadful high school experience. Is it just me? Maybe I have issues. I mean, one of my all-time favorite movies is Heathers. Okay, yeah – I may have issues.

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So even though I’ve seen this movie before and knew what would happen, I enjoyed seeing the events unfold once again. And I suppose I should mention Portia Doubleday as that bitch Chris Hargensen. I guess she did a good job as I soooo couldn’t wait for her death scene in this one! I’m not a big fan of horror movies, especially in my old age, and have to admit that I have yet to actually watch the more violent scenes in some of my favorite films. Seriously, I’m a wuss about gore and don’t like violence and think we live in a sad world where people freak out over movies that show a tiny bit of sex but don’t bat an eyelid at their kids playing video games & watching movies with excessive violence and blah blah blah. But, oh man, I wanted to watch the bitch get it in Carrie! And it’s a pretty satisfying end. It’s the only thing I’ll say maybe tops the original. (I have issues with bitchy high school girls. Can you tell?) 😉

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Bitch!

For the boys, I should point out that Gabriella Wilde is REALLY cute. I did like her as Sue Snell.

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Cute!

Summary:

This remake is completely pointless. But… it’s fun and I did enjoy it. If you go into it knowing that you’re going to be watching a not-as-good version of the 1976 movie all over again and if you like the story and even if you LOVE the original movie (as long as you don’t totally worship it), I think you’ll have fun with the remake. The casting choices are spot on but it all feels very hollow. All the actresses do a good job but certainly don’t top the performances in the original. All the scenes are done well enough but, again, don’t exactly top anything in the original. The prom scene especially doesn’t manage to have the intensity of the original and was probably the most disappointing re-made scene.

I understand why things get remade. I’ll fully admit that the original Carrie has NOT aged well and is precious to only those my age but teenagers nowadays are “all gonna laugh” at the 1976 film. They may like this remake, though, and I’d recommend the remake to a teenager instead of the original because I know I’d be wasting my time trying to get a current teen to love the oh-so-70s Carrie. So, yeah – I do understand why things keep getting remade. To make money. To bring a whole new audience to something as they’d never watch the original. Remakes still piss me off, though. And I still think this remake is as pointless as all the rest.

But at least we get to see Carrie get her revenge on those high school bitches once again! That made me happy.

My Rating: 6.5/10

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My Top Ten Shower & Bath Scenes In Movies

Ever since I reviewed John Carpenter’s The Ward & happened to mention the shower scene with Amber Heard, I see variations of the search term “Amber Heard shower scene” bringing someone to my blog on a daily basis. Pervs! So, screw it – I’ll make a list! Here are my top ten movie shower (or bath) scenes starting with the best:

1. Psycho

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Obviously.

2. Hardware

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Such an underrated cult classic! I never know anyone who has seen this movie. And the shower scene is awesome with one of the BEST movie songs ever – The Order Of Death by Public Image Limited.

3. Carrie

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Dirty Pillows!

4. American Beauty

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“This will be the high point of my day: It’s all downhill from here.”

5. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

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“I recall Central Park in fall.”

6. Weird Science

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“If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it’s a mindscrambler. Hurts so good.”

7. A Nightmare On Elm Street

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One, two, Freddy’s coming for you…

8. The Shining

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All work & no play makes Jack make-out with creepy dead woman.

8. It

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Argh! Pennywise! Creepy f@#king clown!!! I don’t even want this damn picture on my blog!

10. Blade

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Cool bloodbath (well, more like bloodSHOWER) club scene. Set to the tune of the Pump Panel remix of New Order’s Confusion.

Honorable Mentions:
Slither
Arachnophobia
Fatal Attraction
What Lies Beneath
Pleasantville
Porky’s
Pretty Woman
The Big Lebowski
Stoker

For the guys:
Starship Troopers (I hate this movie)

Words to bring the pervs in: Hot, Steamy, Sexy, Naked, Boobies. Lol! They’ll be disappointed – my list isn’t very hot or steamy. 😉

Here’s Amber Heard wet in the shower in The Ward:

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Hardware shower scene with Public Image Ltd song The Order Of Death: