Annabelle: Creation, The Autopsy Of Jane Doe & It Comes At Night Movie Reviews

Here’s another repost of three super brief “reviews” of three dreadful horror movies I watched this year. I desperately need to see a GOOD horror film. Here’s hoping Mandy lives up to the hype. I’ve booked a ticket to see it this week. Can’t wait!

Annabelle: Creation (2017)

Directed by David F. Sandberg

Starring: Stephanie Sigman, Talitha Bateman, Anthony LaPaglia, Miranda Otto

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
Annabelle: Creation is a prequel to 2014’s Annabelle and the fourth installment in The Conjuring Universe. The film stars Stephanie Sigman, Talitha Bateman, Anthony LaPaglia, and Miranda Otto, and depicts the possessed Annabelle doll’s origin.

My Brief Opinion:

Ugh. I trashed the first movie HERE. The first film was ridiculous and couldn’t have been more cliché. At first, it seemed that this one was going to be much better. Oh, hell no! It’s even worse. I think it made me appreciate the first film more, even with all its overused horror tropes. Those things are overused because they sometimes work. This sequel probably could have used a little more of that. I dunno. I think what annoys me with modern horror films such as these, besides the predictability and stupid jump scares and lack of originality or good storytelling, is the filmmakers’ obvious hatred for the characters. The characters are only there to die. So why would I give a shit about what happens? In that case, I’d rather watch silly 80’s slashers which had a sense of fun. We need at least one person to root for/to possibly survive/to not be possessed. I mean, we do have a nice group of young girls I wanted to like but they got so little character development. And a tragic beginning turns a sweet couple into “creepy people who act strange”. It doesn’t end well in this film for people who don’t deserve to suffer (sorry if that’s spoiler-y). And, okay, maybe I don’t like sweet young girls turning into psychotic demons. Well, maybe in a good movie. Actually, I like demonic kids – The Omen is awesome… Never mind. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. This movie just sucked.

Oh, hey – I suppose I can again use this opportunity to link to my post of My Top Ten Creepy Dolls In Movies & TV. And, as I reviewed The Nun last week, here are my reviews & ratings of all the Conjuring Universe films:

The Conjuring – 7.5/10
The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case – 6/10
The Nun – 5.5/10
Annabelle – 5/10
Annabelle: Creation – 4.5/10

My Rating: 4.5/10

The Autopsy Of Jane Doe (2016)

Directed by André Øvredal

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Brian Cox, Olwen Catherine Kelly

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The film stars Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox as father-and-son coroners who experience supernatural phenomena while examining the body of an unidentified woman (played by Olwen Kelly).

My Brief Opinion:

Why do I bother to watch modern horror movies when 90% of them suck? Like this one. I don’t know if I have the energy to again do horror movie reviews for all of October this year. If I do, I’ll review this piece of shit. For now, I’ll be nice and say that at least this one also had a fairly original concept and going through the stages of the autopsy was kind of interesting.

**Okay – that was my initial review. Damn! I guess I didn’t actually review this. Since seeing this film, I’ve seen far worse (Jug Face – WTF was that?! I’ll review that later this week). So I’m now thinking I was a little harsh on this one. I’ll say that this one did have a fairly creepy atmosphere. I mean, what’s more creepy than a morgue? And it started out fairly promising. As I said, the stages of the autopsy were interesting as they found more & more bizarre things to do with this unidentified girl’s body. Too bad it turned too silly by the end, as most horror movies do.

My Rating: 4.5/10

It Comes At Night (2017)

Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Starring: Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Riley Keough

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son. Then a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge.

My Brief Opinion:

Another 2017 movie that I was wanting to see ASAP due to its rave reviews at the time. WTF?! I was bored out of my damn mind! I’m starting to truly believe that IMDb is being filled with fake reviews written by the studios. This has a 78 out of 100 metascore?! Fuck off! Nothing happens in this but, to be fair, there’s more of a plot than the mumblegore stuff. The performances are good, especially from Joel Edgerton’s son in the movie (Kelvin Harrison Jr). But. But. Ugh. I don’t know. If someone here did like this, I’d genuinely be interested to hear why. Because maybe I’m missing something since, for a horror, it has a decent IMDb user rating as well (6.2). I’m really annoyed with the shitty movies I wasted time on this year. I have too many other things to do.

My Rating: 4.5/10

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The Nun (2018) Review

I’ve decided that I’ll try to post some horror movie reviews this October after all. As I gave very brief opinions of every horror film I’ve watched in 2018 so far in my monthly recap posts, I’ll re-post those mini-reviews each weekday until Halloween. They’re VERY brief. Which is better than when I blather on for ages about a movie anyway. Here’s what I thought of The Nun

The Nun (2018)

Directed by Corin Hardy

Story by James Wan & Gary Dauberman

Starring: Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
A spin-off of 2016’s The Conjuring 2, and the fifth installment in The Conjuring Universe, the film stars Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, and Jonas Bloquet. The plot follows a Roman Catholic priest and a nun in her novitiate as they uncover an unholy secret in 1952 Romania.

My Brief Opinion:

Meh. I don’t know. This was actually a bit better than the terrible reviews would suggest. I thought it was far better than those idiotic Annabelle movies but far worse than the first Conjuring film. I thought the characters were all fairly strong (as far as horrors go) and I really liked the setting of the secluded old convent or castle or whatever it was. It was fairly creepy & atmospheric and, hell, I think I’m talking myself into liking this one a little more than I thought. I do love a good bit of Satanic horror but there are far better films in that sub-genre.

Also, I didn’t say it in my original mini-review but I can’t really find a nun who looks like Marilyn Manson all that scary. To be honest, she’s barely in the film (which annoyed most fans). In my opinion, it was better that we didn’t get to see that much of her.

My Rating: 5.5/10

I’ve realized that I’ve watched all of the Conjuring Universe films so far despite not being a huge fan. Here are my reviews & ratings:

The Conjuring – 7.5/10
The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case – 6/10
The Nun – 5.5/10
Annabelle – 5/10
Annabelle: Creation – 4.5/10

As far as Taissa Farmiga horror movies go, I had a lot more fun watching The Final Girls last year.