Fantastic Beasts And Where to Find Them (2016)
Directed by David Yates
Based on Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by J. K. Rowling
Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler, Alison Sudol, Ezra Miller, Samantha Morton, Jon Voight, Carmen Ejogo, Colin Farrell
Music by James Newton Howard
Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
The adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York’s secret community of witches and wizards seventy years before Harry Potter reads his book in school.
I always say this then meander on for ages but I really mean it this time: I’ll keep this review very short. Why? Because I don’t have much to say. Sadly, I found this film to be a bit of a bore. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t actively like it, either, which is actually worse than hating the f*^k out of a movie. At least the hateful ones stir up some actual emotions! And the most-hated ones are fun to bitch about. There’s nothing worse than boring when it comes to entertainment & the arts. Have some balls! Make something worth watching/looking at/listening to/appreciating/hating the f*^k out of! Don’t waste my time.
I do like Harry Potter. I absolutely loved the books as I read them but they didn’t end up as all-time favorites of mine in the same way things like The Lord Of The Rings did. The movies were fine and I enjoy seeing books I like adapted for the screen but I didn’t exactly obsess over the movies & I’ve never re-watched any. Actually, I’ve not even watched the final film… Although the books were thoroughly enjoyable, I’m far from being an “obsessive Harry Potter fan” so bear in mind that I won’t automatically be worshipping this film like a fan would. I’ve not read Fantastic Beasts and went into this knowing very little other than that it was set in America 70ish years before the events of Harry Potter (right???).
Where do I start? First of all, I didn’t feel any connection to the characters & didn’t care what would happen to them. I’ve not seen Eddie Redmayne’s biggest “Oscar” performances but I’m sorry to say I’m not a fan based on his few films I’ve seen. As he’s the main character, it didn’t help that I find him & his haircut mildly annoying. Katherine Waterston, the second-biggest character, was fine but so looks like a cross between Jennifer Jason Leigh & that chick from ER (Maura Tierney – had to look her up) that I was constantly distracted by this. The woman playing her sister, Alison Sudol, had the potential to be hateful but definitely grew on me. Actually, her character and the “muggle” played by Dan Fogler ended up being the characters I liked & cared about the most (See? I’m not totally dismissive. I said something nice!). Ezra Miller & Samantha Morton, both great actors, were completely wasted in dull roles. Jon Voight was as Jon Voight-y as always & Colin Farrell was the boringly bland baddie I expected (I rarely like his performances). Oh! And then there’s Johnny Depp, of course. Is that a spoiler?? It’s an extremely small role clearly destined for big things in the sequels. He’s his usual “Look at me, I’m quirky!” self. I HATE that seeing him in movies just makes me cringe now. He used to be my favorite actor! What the hell happened??
I’m meandering! I’ll wrap this up. Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them is an overlong & overcomplicated film that feels like another cash-grab due to the fact that it’s going to be yet another damn series of movies. To be fair, I didn’t have this issue with Harry Potter as it was already a series of books where each individual book was as great as the overall story (although the final book being two movies gets on my nerves). I may have liked Fantastic Beasts more if it was just one movie with a proper conclusion & no “wait for the sequel!” cliffhangers. Knowing there are going to be four more films just exhausts me, to be honest. It’s highly unlikely I’ll bother with them (unless I get another free pass like I had for this one). I don’t know the Harry Potter world well enough to have noticed the connections that fans will have loved but I didn’t feel like there were many links at this point? I’m also confused as to who this film is actually aimed at. The characters are adults so kids won’t go for it (my 7-year-old didn’t really like it plus it was borderline too scary). I guess it’s for those who grew up on Harry Potter & are now in their late twenties or so? It just seems like a very small target audience and I can’t see it gaining any new fans who aren’t already Potter fans. I guess the beasts themselves were okay, though cheesy-looking (my favorite was this dude but he’s too similar to the much cooler Groot).
As for the story… Meh. I didn’t fully follow what was going on. But I did fall asleep at some point in the middle, which didn’t help. Yep – I fell asleep in the cinema! As did the other adult I was with. I never do that. I call that proof that Fantastic Beasts is a bit of a snoozefest. It’s not a bad film but I find J.K. Rowling’s tweets far more entertaining than the story in this.
My Rating: 6/10