Watched, Read, Reviewed: May 2019

It’s July! Oops – I’m two months behind on my monthly roundup posts. Oh well, here’s what I watched in May. I saw some great stuff (finally!).

MOVIES IN MAY

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – 7.5/10
Pokémon Detective Pikachu – 5.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

A Matter Of Life And Death – I loved this! Why isn’t this movie more well known?? I decided to check it out when I saw people on Twitter highly recommending it when it was on TV. Here’s the IMDb plot synopsis if you’ve not heard of it: “A British wartime aviator who cheats death must argue for his life before a celestial court.” It’s a 1946 British film starring David Niven and Kim Hunter and it’s pretty damn epic. It reminded me of the great classics such as It’s A Wonderful Life. I loved the Technicolor look of it and the gorgeous elaborate sets (as far as 1946 films go). It also has a Wizard Of Oz vibe with the parts of the film that are set on Earth being in color and those in Heaven being in black & white. Fantastic!


This is also one of those old romantic films where the couple fall in love IMMEDIATELY. Like, they knew each for two whole seconds. Man I love that about old romances, like the super mushy Brief Encounter (which has the best sexual tension EVER). I love old movies and their sexless romance! I also love that everyone in old films looks at least 45. At one point David Niven said his age (27) and I was like “You’re shitting me!” Anyway. This movie was a lovely surprise and I highly recommend it if you like wartime romances and/or unique stories. There’s also some playful “American vs British” stuff that was quite fun and an enjoyable character in a small role as a stereotypical cocky American soldier (he was kind of hot, too). – 8/10

Infernal Affairs (Mou gaan dou) – This was great. I’ve been focusing on watching the remainder of the movies for my IMDb Top 250 Project. I prefer to see the original film before a Hollywood remake but didn’t manage that this time. Martin Scorsese’s The Departed is very good and a fairly faithful remake but, as expected, the original is better. I have a lot of IMDb film reviews to catch up on this year so I’ll do a review of this one along with the rest at some point. I highly recommend it if you liked The Departed (and if you’ve not seen The Departed, watch this one first!). – 7.5/10

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – 7.5/10

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner – I’ve been meaning to explore more of Sidney Poitier’s work so have finally managed to watch both this and In The Heat Of The Night, which was one that I chose as a 2019 Blind Spot film. In The Heat Of The Night is a better film but this one is also worth watching, mainly for the great performances (especially Poitier’s & Hepburn’s). I wasn’t crazy about his love interest but I think that’s just because her character was so annoyingly happy. She also just seemed a bit weak in comparison to the heavyweight stars in this one – these are proper ACTORS. The movie is obviously going to seem dated now and people might find it slightly uncomfortable to watch but, hell, I wouldn’t say that the times have changed as much as you’d have expected by now (just over 50 freaking YEARS later!). So I think it’s still a very relevant film & certainly worth a watch to see some classic actors at their usual best. The movie itself could’ve been slightly better – it does drag a little and the “stage play” feeling won’t be for everyone but I’m happy to say I’ve seen another Poitier film and think he’s fantastic. I don’t feel like the stars of today have the same sort of presence as classic stars such as Poitier & Hepburn. I should really watch more old films… – 7/10

Touch Of Evil – This is another IMDb Top 250 film so I’ll review it in full with the rest in a separate post. It was good but not a favorite of mine compared to the others I’ve watched from the Top 250 since starting this blog. – 7/10

The Wild Bunch – This is another Top 250 film as well as one of my 2019 Blind Spot choices so will get a full review later. I have to say that, while it’s a good film, I was a bit disappointed. I’ve watched several Westerns now since starting this blog and far prefer the others I’ve watched, such as Sergio Leone’s Dollars Trilogy. – 7/10

In Order Of Disappearance – The is the original Norwegian film of Liam Neeson’s Cold Pursuit (which I’ve not seen but the hubby enjoyed). It’s fine. It’s a decent revenge story and I can certainly see why they remade it with Neeson – it’s SO the type of film he’s typecast in now. To be honest, though, where I’m so behind on writing this I now don’t even remember it all that well. It’s an entertaining crime film but that’s never been a favorite genre of mine and I clearly find the movies in this genre a bit forgettable. – 6.5/10

Snowpiercer – Hmm. After waiting YEARS to finally get the opportunity to see this 2013 film in the U.K. and all the hype surrounding it, I have to say I was pretty disappointed. I was very much looking forward to seeing John Hurt again, though (R.I.P.), and I did love seeing him in this. At least I did have my doubts beforehand as I didn’t really like Bong Joon-ho’s movie Okja. However, I liked his film The Host and loved the crazy ass concept in Snowpiercer so was very interested in seeing it. People live on a motherfucking train that never stops and travels around the entire frozen apocalyptic Earth. That’s nuts. I love a weird ass story. I bet the French graphic novel this is based on, Le Transperceneige, is fun. I hope it’s better than this film, which was hard to fully get into as most of the characters are unlikeable and poorly developed. Strong characters are very important to me and annoying characters do seem to be a problem with Bong Joon-ho’s films that I’ve seen. I also hate over-the-top caricatures and hated Tilda Swinton in both this & Okja. Sorry, Swinton fans! It just threw me out of both movies. Chris Evans is fine but, again, by the end you kind of don’t care about him anymore (I won’t say why). I did, however, like the two characters who also happen to be the only likeable characters from The Host, so that helped the movie a bit and I was fine with how it ended. I’m just disappointed as the story itself had so much potential to be a really kick ass movie but it tries too hard to be weird & quirky and it fails massively in making you give the slightest shit about the characters. Great concept wasted. – 6.5/10

Lu Over The Wall – This was an odd one. First of all, if you want to see a good anime film about a weird fishgirl, do yourself a favor and watch Ponyo. And watch all the other Studio Ghibli movies. And Akira. And Ghost In The Shell. And Wolf Children. And Your Name. I’m no anime expert as I clearly stick to the most mainstream stuff but Lu Over The Wall is the sort of thing you’d watch after checking out more well-known anime first. It’s a cute movie but definitely aimed at a younger audience (maybe 13 and under). The mermaid, Lu, is sweet but a fraction annoying. The story is simple and the characters are likeable enough but slightly dull. I just far prefer the artistic beauty & otherworldliness of Studio Ghibli. The best way to describe it is to say that Lu Over The Wall is the equivalent of a DreamWorks movie in the West: Enjoyable enough for a couple of hours of entertainment but ultimately forgettable. – 6.5/10

Adrift – This was fine. I’d probably have liked it more with a different actress as I find Shailene Woodley annoying. But I’m always intrigued by true stories of people lost at sea (maybe because the thought of being adrift in the middle of the ocean freaks me out). If true story disaster dramas are your thing, this one is worth a watch. It’s exactly what I expected but most movies in this sort of genre are pretty predictable. – 6/10

The Wandering Earth – This Chinese sci-fi film was disappointing but had potential and certainly had plenty of ambition. Here’s the crazy IMDb synopsis: “As the sun is dying out, people all around the world build giant planet thrusters to move Earth out of its orbit and sail Earth to a new star system. Yet the 2500-year journey comes with unexpected dangers, and in order to save humanity, a group of young people in this age of a wandering Earth fight hard for the survival of humankind.” Hey – it’s no more outrageous than Snowpiercer! I just wish the characters had been stronger, which would have made up for the expected cheesiness of this story. The movie looked very good, which I enjoyed. It’s just a shame that the story is too much like cheesy Western sci-fi (I kept thinking of The Core from 2003). Oh well. It was entertaining enough for a couple of hours and I’m always happy to watch science fiction. – 6/10

King Of Thieves – I found this a bit disappointing as well. Ever since the real life Hatton Garden raid, I’ve been wanting them to make a movie of it starring Michael Caine. Casting that’s predictable as hell, yes, but he had to be in it! No one was more perfect for this role. But, somehow, they managed to make a movie about an amazing heist quite boring. I guess that’s kind of the point, though – these old British dudes managed this huge heist but it won’t have been all sleek & stylish like Ocean’s Eleven. It was a real heist, not a sexy Hollywood heist. I just wanted to like it more and to kind of like the characters, even though they’re criminals. They weren’t well developed and I’m still not exactly sure why they even did this robbery. – 6/10

The Monster – This was fine for a (I’m assuming) low-budget indie “horror”. It’s more of a psychological horror, although you do see the monster (even though it’s symbolic of the mother and her strained relationship with her daughter). If you want a straight-up horror, this one probably won’t be your kind of thing. If you want an indie drama about a mother & daughter with some decent acting (for a “horror” movie), you might like this one. But I gotta admit it’s a little boring & the mother (played by Zoe Kazan) is a little too hateful. – 6/10

Pokémon Detective Pikachu – 5.5/10

The Sentinel (1977) – Ugh. I love 70’s horror so had been meaning to check this out for a while as I’d never seen it. Plus, it has Burgess Meredith in it (love him!). I wasn’t missing much. There was some messy, incoherent story about, I dunno… priests or some shit? It doesn’t matter – the story was stupid. There was some fun weirdness in this, though, and some unnecessary nudity. Maybe that’s why some people remember this fondly; they got to see some boobies and therefore forgot that the overall film was a bit crap.

Oh, we also got to see Beverly D’Angelo playing with herself…

Yeah, that’s ruined National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation for me a bit. What’s funny is that, for a crap 70’s horror, this had some very big names in it! Here are some of them: Cristina Raines, Chris Sarandon, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Sylvia Miles, Eli Wallach, Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum, John Carradine, Jerry Orbach, Tom Berenger, and, of course, Beverly D’Angelo masturbating. This movie was a real waste of some big stars. – 5/10

The Funhouse – Not only do I love 70’s horror… I also love cheesy 80’s horror! So this Tobe Hooper movie seemed right up my alley. PLUS it’s set in a carnival and I always love this sort of setting. And a Funhouse! What’s better than a creepy-ass Funhouse?! Well… damn. This movie isn’t exactly the worst 80’s horror I’ve seen since I’ve seen MANY bad ones – It’s just very forgettable. Maybe I hyped it up too much in my mind. Meh. Watch it only if you’re sad like me and feel the urge to watch every movie ever made in my favorite sort of genres… – 5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt – Don’t have much spare time at the moment so haven’t really been reading. I’m slowly working my way through this book as the movie is coming out in September. It’s good so far – I just wish it was much shorter! I shouldn’t have started such a long novel at the moment…

TV SHOWS WATCHED

Game Of Thrones – In my last Roundup post, I was partway through the final season and didn’t write much as the show was annoying me. I said I’d write more about it when it was finished. I can’t be fucking bothered to write anything now. Kind of like the writers clearly couldn’t be bothered to write the final season of Game Of Thrones… What a massive letdown after this started out as some of the best TV with the best writing in years.

Grey’s Anatomy – Ha. Whatever. Fuck this show. I only continue to watch it since I have to now that it’s been on so damn long. Come to think of it, I can’t even remember what the hell happened this season. What was the usual cliffhanger? Wow. I honestly can’t remember. That’s bad.

Well, it’s July now and I’ve watched the first two episodes of season 3 of Stranger Things. Am hoping it’ll be better than Season 2.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

My plan is to hopefully catch up on reviewing current films. I’ve just watched Spider-Man: Far From Home & I’m posting a review of Midsommar tomorrow.

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

As I’m so far behind on this post, I’ve already seen all that I could have of June’s cinema releases. So here’s a quick list of the 2019 movies I saw in June (and which I’ll also try to review at some point):

Toy Story 4 – 8/10
Yesterday – 7.5/10
Rocketman – 7.5/10
Ma – 7/10
Child’s Play (2019) – 6.5/10
Booksmart – 7/10
Wine Country – 6.5/10
Brightburn – 6.5/10
Boogaloo Shrimp Documentary – 6.5/10
Murder Mystery – 5.5/10

There was no memorable music in the movies I watched in May so let’s just watch this video of Keanu Reeves with puppies.

Watched, Read, Reviewed: April 2019

Happy (middle of) May, everyone! Why is it still cold?! Here’s what I watched and partially read in April…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

Avengers: Endgame – 8/10
Dumbo – 7/10
Shazam! – 7/10
Pet Sematary – 7/10
Greta – 6.5/10
Unicorn Store – 6.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Avengers: Endgame – 8/10

Wind River – This was really good. This was directed & written by Taylor Sheridan, who also wrote the brilliant Sicario and Hell Or High Water. Here’s the IMDb plot synopsis: “A veteran hunter helps an FBI agent investigate the murder of a young woman on a Wyoming Native American reservation.” As someone who isn’t normally a fan of “crime dramas”, I loved all three of these films. I think this is probably thanks to Sheridan’s writing as the characters are so strong and so real. You can feel the grief of the parents of the murdered girl and the conversations, especially between Renner’s character & the murdered girl’s father, come across as very genuine. I often find that movie dialogue feels phoney so I love that Sheridan’s characters in these three films feel so natural & are so well-developed. And, yeah, it was kind of fun seeing Hawkeye & Scarlet Witch together in this. I highly recommend this movie if you like a serious crime drama that takes its time focusing on the characters, which is always important to me. If you liked either of the other two Sheridan films I mentioned, you should like Wind River too. – 7.5/10


The Hunt (Jagten) – Finally got around to watching this as I wanted to see Mads Mikkelsen‘s performance plus the film was nominated for a Best Foreign Film Oscar and is in the IMDb Top 250. It’s not a topic I’m comfortable with but it was handled well & Mikkelsen was fantastic. It takes place in a small community and focuses on how a little lie/misunderstanding goes too far & completely destroys Mikkelsen’s life. It’s a good film with great performances and I’d recommend it but you have to be in the mood for a serious drama. – 7.5/10


Cold War – This was a very good but not a great film. I was hoping for a bit more when people raved about this last year (it was up for the Best Foreign Film Oscar along with Roma & Shoplifters (which is the one I want to see the most). Here’s the IMDb plot synopsis: “In the 1950s, a music director falls in love with a singer and tries to persuade her to flee communist Poland for France.” I did enjoy the story and the look of the film plus I love when a storyline spans so many years (especially when it involves lovers separated & reunited over those years). I think the biggest problem for me was that, unfortunately, I didn’t like the female character. She was very hard to like and I didn’t understand why she did what she did (I’ll leave it at that as I’m obviously avoiding spoilers). I at first liked how headstrong she was but it was frustrating as her personality caused so much pain by the end. It was still a good film and I did like the male lead – I was just hoping to like them both and to want them together. Oh well – At least Cold War was much better than that snoozefest winner Roma… – 7/10

Dumbo – 7/10

Shazam! – 7/10

Pet Sematary – 7/10

Greta – 6.5/10


Repulsion – This film deserves to be higher on the list. It’s artsy fartsy & “worthy” but I can’t say I exactly enjoyed it. However, Catherine Deneuve was very good & it’s worth watching for her performance. I decided to watch this Roman Polanski film after liking Deneuve in a somewhat similar role in Belle de Jour. I haven’t seen her in much – I don’t know why she played a sexually repressed woman in both of these but she handles this type of character well. Here’s the IMDb plot synopsis if you don’t know anything about Repulsion: “A sex-repulsed woman who disapproves of her sister’s boyfriend sinks into depression and has horrific visions of rape and violence.” Obviously, having come out in 1965, it seems tame now but I would imagine this was a very shocking film at the time. The pacing is very slow & it does take a long time before much of anything happens, so bear that in mind if you choose to watch it. I have to say I preferred Belle de Jour. I was hoping this would be much weirder, based on that image I used at the top of this post of Deneuve in the hallway with all the hands coming out of the walls. It’s not, though – it’s a pretty straightforward story of a woman who may have experienced sexual abuse in the past (I think this is implied), which eventually drives her insane. Deneuve is great in these films, though, and I’d watch her in other movies based on what I’ve seen so far. – 7/10

Unicorn Store – 6.5/10


Eddie The Eagle – This was fine. It’s a pretty typical British feel-good family movie. I didn’t know a thing about the real life guy or his story so I found it interesting. He was certainly a character. The film itself is just okay, though. Yeah, it’s a little cheesy and I’d say the performances are a bit phoned-in but, hell, who cares? It’s a nice story and we could use more nice stories nowadays. If you liked Cool Runnings, it’s very likely you’d enjoy this one as well. And the final half hour makes up for the film being somewhat slow to get going. – 6/10


Black Snake Moan – I’ve been on a Samuel L. Jackson kick lately. Love him! So I figured I’d finally check this one out. Well, this was an odd one. And, man, I didn’t think I’d ever see Christina Ricci naked, which was disturbing as she’ll always be a little kid to me (despite not being TOO much younger than me). I’m not sure what to say about this film. At least it wasn’t boring? It was hard to like the characters to begin with but Jackson’s & even Ricci’s do grow on you, especially as you get to know why Ricci’s is as messed-up as she is. I liked the strange friendship between these two and you do want everyone to find happiness at the end. Also, the music was really good. Was that Jackson really singing?! That was a treat. Overall, I did like the film and enjoyed that it was so “different”. But I can’t say it’s one I’d have the desire to watch a second time. – 6/10


Must Love Dogs – This was dull. A lifeless & predictable rom-com. To be fair, this isn’t exactly a favorite genre of mine so I may not be the best judge. I tend to watch movies like these if I like the stars and I love both Diane Lane & John Cusack, although I’ve gone off of him slightly in recent years. I think I’ll always just see him as perfect boyfriend Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything. Anyway. Hmm. What can I say? The story goes exactly as you’d expect. What was disappointing was that Lane & Cusack had ZERO chemistry. Think this was more Cusack’s fault as he seemed bored while Lane was as charming as she usually is, even though she’s seriously typecast in this genre. Oh! And there weren’t enough dogs. Must Love DOGS. Where were the loads of cute fucking dogs?! False advertising! Meh. Whatever. I’ll forget this movie in a year. Oh – Stockard Channing was quite enjoyable in this, though. – 5.5/10


Suspiria (2018) – What. The. Actual. Fuck. Okay, I admit I’ve only seen the original Suspiria once and don’t remember much other than the Goblin score, which I fricking love and listen to regularly. I know I liked the overall vibe. I really should watch the film again. Italian horror is one of the very few genres I’ve not yet really explored. This remake is an incoherent mess. It’s laughable, especially in the final half hour. At least I was “rewarded” with a good laugh over the ending’s absolute ridiculousness after suffering through this otherwise boring thing for HOURS (2 hours & 32 fucking minutes!!!).

Why do they keep remaking films that are considered classics?! WHY?!? I don’t get it. I understand that there are fans of the giallo horror thing but don’t understand why, if people want a 2018 giallo movie, filmmakers can’t just make an original film with the same characteristics???? I’d totally watch that. Why shit on a classic’s legacy? I think this was also disappointing as the trailer and especially the poster (which is great!) almost made this look promising despite it starring Dakota Johnson. As much as remakes & reboots piss me off, I admit that they occasionally work and have even liked a few. I’m a fan of 2004’s Dawn Of The Dead even though the 1978 film is one of my all-time favorite movies, probably because it wasn’t a straight remake but more of a respectful & enjoyable reimagining. It almost felt as if 2018 Suspiria had zero regard for what made the original such a beloved classic for many horror fans.

I’ve read no reviews of this version but am *assuming* that those who love the original hated this and those who loved this hated or probably didn’t even see the original. I’d like to hear from anyone who loves both versions of Suspiria – I’d love to know the reasons why. I saw so many people on Horror Twitter raving about this remake so I’m actually quite confused as I thought it was a dreadful mess. Give me Mandy instead of 2018 Suspiria! It’s hard to not compare the two as they’re both pretentious artsy horror films that came out the same year and are both extremely divisive. Mandy is weird as hell but has originality and style. Suspiria tries too hard and just comes across as desperate and phoney.

I should say something nice… Um. I think Thom Yorke was a great choice to do the music for this and was one of the reasons I wanted to watch the film. The music starts out promising in the very beginning but then I no longer noticed it. I don’t know if there was less music in the second half or if I just no longer noticed it as I slowly lost the will to live. But nothing will EVER beat the original’s Goblin score anyway so why bother. – 4.5/10


The Grand Budapest Hotel – This is an IMDb Top 250 film so I might review it at some point with the others I’ve watched this year. I hated it. I got sick of people telling me I should watch it so I finally did. Just trust me when I say I hate Wes Anderson films! 😉 – 5/10


Barely Lethal – Like Black Snake Moan, I mainly watched this because of Samuel L. Jackson. Also, the IMDb plot synopsis sounds quite fun: “A teenage special ops agent coveting a “normal” adolescence fakes her own death and enrolls in a suburban high school. She quickly learns that surviving the treacherous waters of high school is more challenging than international espionage.” See? That sounds like a great setup! Unfortunately, the movie is a bore. It could’ve been a great teen flick with dark humor but it’s unfunny with underdeveloped characters you don’t give a shit about. Whatever. I have no energy left to write about this and the next two films after my lengthy Suspiria rant. Let’s just say that it’s pretty bad that I have several films ranked BELOW Suspiria. At least parts of Suspiria were memorable. There! I said another nice thing about Suspiria! I’ve just said the word Suspiria way too many times. Anyway – I always prefer memorable, even when I hate a film, to one that’s just plain dull. – 5/10


The Spy Who Dumped Me – Ugh. Not sure why I watched this as I hate the majority of modern comedies. I like the two actresses, though, and often find Kate McKinnon funny so gave it a chance. She’s funny at times but the film is so fucking bad that it didn’t matter. What a waste of time. Maybe I need a new hobby. – 4/10


Baywatch – Good Lord. I can’t do this. I’m too tired for another rant. This is quite possibly the biggest pile of shit I’ve seen since Jennifer’s Body. It may even be worse than Jug Face. I’ve never seen a less funny “comedy”. I think I need to stop watching movies. Maybe I’ll become a food blog. I hate cooking and I hate food but I hate that shit like this gets made and widely distributed while indie & foreign films with rave reviews that I desperately want to see don’t show anywhere near me and often don’t show up on any of the many services I can’t afford but pay for anyway just to stand a chance of seeing ONE decent fucking film once in a blue moon!!!! – 2/10

Re-Watched:

Save The Last Dance – I love that the kid is getting older and liking more films such as Save The Last Dance. We’ll be onto teen movies before too long. Can’t wait to start on the introduction of John Hughes movies! Okay – she’ll probably hate those since most teens seem to hate those these days. Oh well. I enjoyed watching Save The Last Dance again as I’d not seen it in years. It’s not my era (I’m clearly an 80s/early 90s teen) but it’s an enjoyable teen dance flick (the kid loves Honey as well). It’s a bit dated & cheesy but I’m sure it’s a favorite for many girls who were teenagers in 2001. I kind of miss the teen dance flick genre… – 6.5/10

Fell Asleep During:

Dog Days – I think I need a new section for “Movies I can’t review because I slept through them“. This happens a lot. I’m old and I’m tired. I slept off and on through Dog Days. It seemed to be a perfectly fine, bland, wholesome family film. Needed more dogs. I might have stayed awake for a load of cute puppies. But at least it had way more dogs than Must Love Dogs!!!! I didn’t feel as cheated by a misleading title this time.

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

Been too busy so haven’t been reading as much. Have started The Talisman by Stephen King & Peter Straub. Really good so far! Not sure why I never read this King novel as I try to read everything he writes…

TV SHOWS WATCHED

Game Of Thrones – *Sigh*

This post is so damn long. I’m tired. I don’t have the energy to get into what a massive disappointment the final season of Game Of Thrones has been so far. I’m writing this after seeing the first four episodes of the final season so a lot has happened but it all feels very rushed. It feels like the writers said “Let’s just get this fucking thing over with”. Screw it – I’ll wait & maybe write more in next month’s post after the series has finished. Maybe the final episodes will turn everything around & make this show good again.

Tales Of The Unexpected – Just after moving to the UK, I discovered Tales Of The Unexpected. As my favorite TV show EVER is The Twilight Zone, imagine my delight to discover a British show with similar weird stories & good twists. Years ago they did a marathon of these shows on New Year’s Eve into New Year’s Day & I spent hours watching them. Do I know how to party or WHAT?! My all-nighters tend to involve watching weird shit. Anyway – I noticed this was on Now TV so I’ve been watching these episodes off & on again. They’re good to stick on while using the exercise bike. I still love the show. Good job, Roald Dahl! Here’s the IMDb link to Tales Of The Unexpected for any Americans who may not know what the hell I’m talking about…

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

No plans! Too busy. As always, I’ll try to review what I see in the cinema.

May Movie Releases I Might Watch:

The Curse Of La Llorona – Will wait for Netflix like I do with most shitty horror. I watch too much shitty horror.

Long Shot – Looks like a decent enough but probably predictable Seth Rogen rom-com. Might try to check it out (after payday – I’m broke!).

Tolkien – Am interested in this as love Tolkien’s writing but will wait for Netflix. I’m not that into biographies.

Vox Lux – Liked the sound of this Natalie Portman movie but reviews aren’t great. Damn. Will skip for now. As I said, I’m broke!

A Dog’s Journey – I actually liked A Dog’s Purpose quite a bit (and it had lots of DOGS in it!!!) so I do want to see this sequel.

High Life – Like Mandy & Suspiria, this sounds like another extremely divisive, artsy fartsy, highly pretentious film. PLUS it’s sci-fi, my favorite genre?! This is SO the type of thing I’ll watch and either love to death or hate with the same passion as Suspiria. Can’t wait!!!

Pokémon Detective Pikachu – Saw this already. It’s, um… Well, it’s a Pokémon movie. I think you need to be a serious Pokémon fan to truly like this one. I fully admit to loving Pikachu, though. Pikachu is adorable and a great character.

The Hustle – Nah. Fuck this. I’ve been burned by too many shitty comedies. I may never watch another modern “comedy” thanks to Baywatch.

Destination WeddingKeanu Reeves & Winona Ryder!!! You’d have to pay me to NOT watch this.

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – Keanu Reeves again!!! Love him so will of course watch this, despite these films not actually being favorites of mine. Oh that adorable dog from the first one!!!! I might cry now. Why have I mentioned dogs so much in this post?! I don’t even have a dog. I want a John Wick beagle…

Aladdin – No. Fuck off with these live-action Disney remakes. I said Dumbo would be my last one & meant it. And this one looks awful from the trailer! Looks like a low budget straight-to-DVD mess.

Rocketman – Yep. Will check this one out as I love a music biopic, even when I don’t necessarily love the artist. Would anyone admit to liking Elton John’s music?? It’s old fart music (I can say that since I’m an old fart). I think his life story will be fascinating, though.

Booksmart – This sounds like it could be a fun teen flick.

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters – Have there been trailers for this?? I’m very out of the loop at the moment. Hope this is a kick-ass blockbuster.

Ma – This could be fun or utterly ridiculous. Will wait for reviews.

Here’s the brilliant Goblin theme music from the only version of Suspiria that should be watched…

Scott Ian Turns Into A White Walker While George R.R. Martin Talks To Stephen King

George R.R. Martin interviewed Stephen King at an event last Thursday night?! Wow! How did I miss the news of these two legends being in the same room together? And I love Martin’s question to King: “How the f*%k do you write so fast?” HA! You can read more about this event & some of their conversation here: thisisinsider.com. Wish I’d been there!

FYI – I’m aware that last night was the penultimate episode of Game Of Thrones, meaning someone big most likely died a horrible death. I’m in the UK and didn’t feel like staying up until 3am to watch it so SHUT YOUR YAP until I’ve watched it tonight!!! 😉

Any regulars here probably know by now that I’m a HUGE fan of Stephen King but, as for Martin’s books, I shamefully have yet to read them even though I got A Game Of Thrones for Christmas 2014. I know, I know… Hey, he’s apparently such a slow writer that I should easily catch up before he finishes the next book, right?? At least I’ve finally read ONE of his books (Tuf Voyaging – I loved it! Review HERE).

And to keep with a Game Of Thrones theme for this post, I thought I’d share a link where you can watch Scott Ian of Anthrax get a White Walker makeover. Scott Ian of Anthrax!!!! Don’t you dare say “Who?” my young bloggers – Scott Ian rules. I was such a huge Anthrax fan in my teen years and I absolutely loved that they so often included pop culture references in their songs (such as Judge Dredd, Blue Velvet, and my beloved Stephen King’s books). Geeky metalheads! Is there anything cooler?

Anyway – it’s a great video to check out whether you’re a Scott Ian fan or just a Game Of Thrones fan. Ian has a video series called Bloodworks where he goes behind the scenes to talk to make-up and effects artists & he talks to Barrie Gower, prosthetic makeup designer for Game Of Thrones, for this episode. Check out the article & video here: io9.

Tuf Voyaging by George R.R. Martin (Book Review)

At the end of the year, I did a post with mini-reviews of every book I read in 2015. I’m re-posting & adding to those short reviews of some of my favorites. Tuf Voyaging, my first George R.R. Martin book, was a close third-favorite after Ready Player One & The Martian. Here’s my updated review:

Tuf Voyaging by George R.R. Martin

What It’s About: (via Wikipedia)
Tuf Voyaging is a 1986 science fiction fix-up novel. It is a darkly comic meditation on environmentalism and absolute power. The novel concerns the (mis)adventures of Haviland Tuf, an exceptionally tall, bald, very pale, overweight, phlegmatic, vegetarian, cat-loving but otherwise solitary space trader. Due to the venality and cutthroat tactics of the party chartering his one-man trading vessel, Tuf inadvertently becomes master of Ark, an ancient, 30-kilometer-long “seedship”, a very powerful warship with advanced ecological engineering capabilities. Tuf travels the galaxy, offering his services to worlds with environmental problems, and sometimes imposing solutions of his own.

My Thoughts:

This is the first and only George R.R. Martin book I’ve ever read and I loved it! I got the Game Of Thrones book for Christmas 2014 but haven’t yet had the energy to embark on that massive journey. So when a woman I work with brought in a bunch of books that she was getting rid of, I was excited to see this standalone Martin book so I could see what his work was like.

I can only compare this to the Game Of Thrones TV show but I’d have to say it’s quite different from that. This is sci-fi comedy! I’ve read very few books in this genre but one happens to be my all-time favorite book (The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy) so this one was perfect for me and I enjoyed it immensely.

I’ll say that, although Martin’s books are clearly popular, I had no idea of what a great writer this guy really is and it has me definitely wanting to read more of his stuff. I’ll also admit this: I’m a casual reader & clearly like light & easy entertainment. My vocabulary is limited (as evidenced by my so-called “reviews” 😉 ) and I’ve never had to look up so many words for their definitions while reading a book as I did while reading this. (Not tons, maybe six or seven words). But that’s awesome – I don’t have to do that with my YA books!

Martin truly has a great way with words and his characters (especially Tuf) felt so alive. And it was actually funny! After watching Game Of Thrones, full of so much tragic death, I wasn’t sure what to expect of a sci-fi comedy from the same author. Plus the story itself had me hooked. Loved it. Can anyone recommend any of his other work?

More Thoughts On Tuf Voyaging:

That was all my initial mini-review but I’ve read up on this book a bit now & would like to add a little more. First of all, I had to look up what a “fix-up” novel was. Ah HA! This book is actually a collection of previously published stories about Haviland Tuf (and his voyages) all brought together into one novel. That makes sense as, yes, it’s a series of several stories involving the character of Tuf but it didn’t feel at all weird while reading it as they all tie together nicely. I actually really liked that there were several stories, meaning that everyone reading it will have different favorites. Luckily, what I liked most was a story they kept coming back to as it had the strongest character (other than Haviland Tuf) and it was fun to watch their relationship develop. 

Speaking of Haviland Tuf, he’s such a well-developed character and I can still picture exactly how I saw him in my mind. He reminded me of how strong the characters are in the Game Of Thrones TV show so apparently Martin is fantastic when it comes to character development. Tuf changes quite a bit through the novel but his odd quirks (and love for his cats and no one else) were a lot fun. I found it funny to read the following tidbit at Wikipedia as this Game Of Thrones actor was indeed the EXACT person I pictured the entire time I was reading Tuf Voyaging:

“In a February 2013 post, Martin wrote on his website that, from time to time, he is asked by fans about writing more Tuf stories; he continued, saying that he hopes to do so again someday. He also hinted that he thought Irish actor Conleth Hill, who plays Varys on HBO’s Game of Thrones, based on his bestselling A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series, would be a good choice to play Tuf for a pay cable TV series.”

I’d love to see this made into a TV series! And the guy playing Varys is the perfect choice. 🙂

Well, I struggle with book reviews so I probably haven’t done this justice but I do hope some of you will check this one out if it sounds like the sort of genre that interests you. It’s not a book I’d go around recommending to everyone as it wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste. It’s a little silly & bizarre at times but that’s why it was so enjoyable. Plus, it’s hard to not like Haviland Tuf by the end even though he’s truly awkward when it comes to interacting with people. It touches on some quite deep themes so it’s not as silly as it seems on the surface but it was nice to get a break from all the dreariness in Game Of Thrones

My Rating: 4.5/5

Happy 3rd Blogiversary To Me

It’s my blogiversary! And I baked you all a cake!

Okay, I lie – I Googled “Studio Ghibli cake“. I couldn’t bake a cake to save my life. Also, my blogiversary was actually on Thanksgiving… Close enough! And I say this every year but I really can’t believe I’ve done this blogging thing for three years now.

As my blogiversary is so close to the end of the year, I always do a little recap of my year so far. The holiday season always gets very busy so I’ve been taking a bit of a break but, up until November, I kept up with my “post once a day every weekday” schedule fairly well. This is actually post number 995 for me so I’m finally almost to 1,000 overall. I haven’t yet reached 1,000 followers like I know a lot of you have recently but that’s also getting close (I currently have 980. Hi all!).

I was very happy to start the year out with Studio Ghibli Month in January. I only managed to review Grave Of The Fireflies plus all the Hayao Miyazaki-directed films (except The Wind Rises… I will do that eventually!) but I’ll still work my way through the remainder of the Ghibli movies at some point. You can find links to all my Ghibli reviews HERE.

The project I didn’t manage was to watch & review as many John Carpenter movies as I could throughout the year (you can see from My Top Ten John Carpenter Movies list that I hadn’t yet seen some popular ones). Well, I’ve only managed to watch TWO & review a whopping NONE. I can say that both of them will be added into that Top Ten: one very high (I’d put it at number three) and one very low, so it may not stay in there after I watch some more. Maaaaybe I’ll make another attempt at that project in 2016. Maybe. 😉

That leads me to the movies I’ve seen so far this year. You can see a very exciting list of EVERY SINGLE MOVIE I’ve seen in 2015, rated & ranked, HERE! Yeah, call me anal but it makes end-of-the-year lists very easy to put together. Here are my Top Five favorites I’ve seen at home & in the cinema so far:

Seen In The Cinema:

1. Mad Max: Fury Road – 9/10
2. Ex Machina – 8/10
3. It Follows – 8/10
4. Inside Out – 8.5/10
5. Suffragette – 8/10

Seen At Home:

1. Escape From New York – 8.5/10
2. Grave Of The Fireflies – 8/10
3. The Last Unicorn – 8/10
4. Escape From Alcatraz – 8/10
5. We Are The Best! – 8/10

I always like seeing which posts & pages get the most views. I don’t like how Worpress has changed Stats so that you can only see year by year instead of overall totals, which I’d find more interesting (maybe it’s different on a computer?). So above is a list of My Most Viewed Posts & Pages for 2015 only.

I’ve learned to accept the fact that my 2013 post of My Top Ten Shower & Bath Scenes In Movies will NEVER DIE. It’s always been & always will be number one. Thanks to the person who shared My Top Ten Body Horror Movies on Reddit (I know who you are! Thanks again! 🙂 ), that post gave me the most views I’ve ever had in a single day. I’m glad that my review for Mad Max: Fury Road has done well, since that movie RULES and that post isn’t pervy in any way. As always, a lot of the most-viewed are due to something pervy (Odd Thomas has a girl, Addison Timlin, in barely-there knickers and Spring Breakers of course has a photo of a topless girl). Believe me, I’m far happier when non-pervy posts get a lot of views. I still find it funny that so many people search for that gnome from Project X

I LOVE GNOMES!!!! I still want one just like that angry little dude. A “fuck you” gnome! Anyway – As you can see, that’s one of My Top Search Terms:

These search terms are the same as usual and, yes, “Mr Peabody & Sherman porn” pops up a lot. Seriously – what’s wrong with people?? Is there really such a thing?! I promise that is NOT on my blog (just a simple review of that crappy kids’ movie HERE). Lucy Deakins, from my review of The Great Outdoors, is always a popular search term (although I’m a bigger fan of her movie The Boy Who Could Fly). 

I knew exactly which posts were responsible for each of these search terms other than “Elyes Gabel shirtless” so I had to search my blog to find he was in World War Z. Sorry – I had no idea who he was & don’t have any photos of him without a shirt! I looked him up & saw that he was Rakharo in Game Of Thrones. Then, as there are approximately 132 characters in each episode of Game Of Thrones, I had to look up Rakharo (he was one of Daenerys Targaryen’s Dothraki “Bloodriders”). Okay, then – here he is with bare arms in Game Of Thrones:

Oh, yeah – I’ve also read a lot of books this year (for me) and even managed to review a few. Here they are! I’ll try to review a couple more of these before the end of the year. Maaaaaaybe.

The Scorch Trials by James Dashner
Horns by Joe Hill
NOS4A2 by Joe Hill
Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
The Martian by Andy Weir
Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
Revival by Stephen King
Florence & Giles by John Harding
The Gospel According To Drew Barrymore by Pippa Wright
The Shock Of The Fall by Nathan Filer
The Unlikely Pilgrimmage Of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce
Tank Girl by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin
Tuf Voyaging by George R.R. Martin

Finally, thanks as always to everyone who stops by & “has a chat” with me in the comments. I love that! I didn’t really expect that when I started this blog but it’s the main reason why I still stick around. I’ve finally looked into these stats & see that they’re the top commenters based on the last 1,000 comments. It’s a weird way to do it & I wish WordPress would show more people but thanks to ALL of you, not just those below – everyone has popped up in these stats at some point. 🙂

Hopefully I’ll see you all next year for a 4th blogiversary celebration! Maybe I’ll bake a real cake next time. 🙂

Question Of The Month At Oracle Of Film – Favorite Game Of Thrones Character?

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I’ve participated in another Question Of The Month from Luke over at Oracle Of Film: “Who is your favorite Game Of Thrones character?”. So many great characters to choose from! You can read all our replies HERE.

Thanks again, Luke! And, hey – can I just ask everyone this: “How awesome was the episode Hardhome?!?!?” 🙂 I’ve been really disappointed by this season so far but that episode kicked some serious ass!

When Peanuts Travels to Westeros, We All Win

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A Peanuts & Game Of Thrones mashup? Love it!

These are from artist Philip Hororton – You can check them out here: Neatorama

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I’m loving all my favorite things being mashed up with Game Of Thrones lately! Just in case some of you missed it, I also better share this Sesame Street parody from a couple of weeks ago: Game Of Chairs. Love this so much!!!! 🙂

Question Of The Month At Oracle Of Film

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I’ve participated in another Question Of The Month for the lovely Luke over at Oracle Of Film. This month’s question was “What was the best TV season of 2014?”. See a wide variety of great answers HERE. 🙂

**FYI – I’m sure my answer would have been Game Of Thrones but I’m only halfway through Season 2 at the moment. Therefore, I can’t even read Luke’s post because I have to avoid spoilers!!! Sorry, Luke – I have to skip reading this one… 😉

What Character Would You Like To See On Game Of Thrones?

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The delightful Melissa over at Snap Crackle Watch has done a (I’m assuming) really fun post in which she asked a bunch of bloggers “what character from another movie or TV show would you like to see on Game Of Thrones?”. I’m sure there are lots of thoroughly entertaining answers! Unfortunately, I can’t read them as I’m currently working my way through Game Of Thrones (I’m up to Season 2, Episode 3). And it’s awesome. And I’ve managed to avoid spoilers. And if you spoil it for me, I will hunt you down and YOU WILL PAY! 😉 (I’m serious. Don’t mess with me)

Anyway, if you’d like to read my answer (and everyone else’s great answers, I’m assuming), follow this link HERE. 🙂