Top Ten Actresses Who Annoy Me

Abbi over at Where The Wild Things Are started something with her excellent list of “The Top Ten Actresses Who Irrationally Annoy The Shit Out Of Me”. She followed it up with a list of annoying actors and then lists of actors & actresses she’d watch in pretty much anything. I believe some others have made their own lists since then – let me know if you’ve done one too & I’ll add a link to it. ๐Ÿ™‚

It was a great idea so I’ve done all four lists as well. Thanks, Abbi! I’ll start with The Top Ten Actresses Who Annoy Me (and I don’t think I’m being irrational at ALL. Lol). These are in no particular order (but Gwyneth certainly takes the crown). I won’t elaborate – I’m hoping we can all have a good bitchfest in the comments! But I’ll try to be a little positive & name the best movie I think each has been in…

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Julia Roberts
Best Movie: Pretty Woman

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Kristen Stewart
Best Movie: Panic Room or The Runaways

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Amanda Seyfried
Best Movie: Mean Girls

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Kristen Bell
Best Movie: Frozen

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Anne Hathaway
Best Movie: Brokeback Mountain

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Keira Knightley
Best Movie: The Jacket

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Zooey Deschanel
Best Movie: (500) Days Of Summer

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Emma Stone
Best Movie: Zombieland

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Gwyneth Paltrow
Best Movie: Seven or Iron Man

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Megan Fox
Best Movie: They all suck. Seriously.

**I don’t have another list scheduled yet. May post another Friday. Would you rather see the ten actresses I like or the ten actors who annoy me? ๐Ÿ™‚

***EDIT to say: OMG! I’ve been reminded of Kate Hudson! How could I forget her?? If it will make people happier, I’d replace Emma Stone with Kate Hudson. To be fair, I hate the real-life persona of a lot of these but with Emma Stone, she seems decent in real life. Her voice just annoys me. Same as Johansson’s. Irrational, I know… ๐Ÿ˜‰

Se7en (1995) IMDB Top 250 Guest Review

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For today’s IMDB Top 250 guest review, we have the very tall, boob-loving Eric of The IPC. Eric is awesome and his blog is scarily funny (or funnily scary? funnily is such a weird word. say it ten times fast! weird). Anyway! I’m very annoyed that I will now have a Gwyneth Paltrow image on my blog. Luckily (funnily?), Brad Pitt makes up for that slightly. I also hate films that try to be all clever and put a number in the middle of the word. It’s Seven, dammit! But I digress… Go visit The IPC if you haven’t already – there’s always a party going on there! With lots of beer. ๐Ÿ™‚

Warning if you’ve not seen Se7en – Eric’s review is SPOILERIFIC from the start!

There are still some movies up for grabs if anyone wants to do a guest IMDB Top 250 review. You can find the list HERE.

Now let’s hear Eric’s in-depth analysis of David Fincher’s Se7en, IMDB rank 23 out of 250

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SE7EN… who hasn’t seen this movie?? I mean, I suppose some people haven’t but – why?? This movie is excellent. Totally. It is a little gruesome, I suppose but we can grab ourselves by the nuts and tough it out. I guess – if you haven’t seen it, it’s a balls out gritty take on the seven deadly sins with Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and an excellente Kevin Spacey. Oh – and I’ll go on record and say Gwynneth Paltrow is hot. If, for some reason, you haven’t seen this, there’s going to be a big time spoiler down below so… in any case – this movie is awesome and the big finale finds Pitt getting a postal delivery out in the desert. Morgan Freeman is nearby and figures out what the delivery is and he screams “DON’T OPEN THE BOX!!!! JOHN DOE HAS THE UPPER HAND!!!” and Pitt famously whines ” WHAT’S IN THE BOXXXXXXXXXX??” So – what’s in the box??

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About ten years ago the company I work for merged with another company and I had to fly all over the country going to meetings about this and that and do fucking work 15 hours a day and it was a real drag but I made a couple of friends and etc. etc. One of these guys was a real wise-ass and we had some yucks and some beers and one day I decided I would send him a gift for his birthday. I don’t know about the dudes who read Cinema Parrot Disco but guys I know (including myself) ten to wear their underwear until the backside is riddled with holes and the front is just a couple pieces of thread that barely covers their dingaling.

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So I took one of these underwears and poured a can of chili in it and put it in a box out in my garage in the 120 degree heat for a few weeks one August and then I put on a hazmat suit and wrapped the stinking thing in tin foil, sealed it up and sent it to him. When he got it he started texting me “What’s in the box???” and I was all “You’ll love it” and he opened it (with his son, poor kid) and didn’t exactly love it but – is that what’s in Brad Pitt’s box???? Not exactly.

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Is it David Fincher’s fucking balls??? What happened to the guy that did SE7EN and FIGHT CLUB??? I’ll give him PANIC ROOM and maybe even BENJAMIN BUTTON but what the fuck with THE SOCIAL NETWORK and the miserable DRAGON TATTOO remake?? PISS, FART, POOP. Let’s go Fincher – let’s get your shit together. Come back to us!! So – is it Fincher’s stones in Pitt’s box? Nope.

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In a burst of cinematic brilliance, the big reveal is that John Doe has fulfilled that last of the seven sins – Envy – by cutting off Pitt’s wife’s (Paltrow’s) head and sent it to him in a fucking box!! WHO SAW THAT COMING???? NO ONE, that’s who!!! What a fucking deal that was!!! AMAZING!!! Come on Finchy!! Let’s get back to it!!! Here’s some cookies. Oh well – there you go – WOO HOO!!! SE7EN!!!

Iron Man 3 (2013) Review

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IRON MAN 3

Directed by Shane Black

Starring:
Robert Downey, Jr.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Don Cheadle
Guy Pearce
Rebecca Hall
Stephanie Szostak
James Badge Dale
Jon Favreau
Ben Kingsley

Synopsis (courtesy of IMDB):

When Tony Stark’s world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution.

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My Opinion on superhero movies:

I like superhero movies a lot but overall I’m not the absolute biggest fan of them. So this review comes from someone who has never touched a comic book (well, I did read Watchmen – does that count?) and who knows ONLY what has been shown of all the superheroes in their Hollywood movies.

The X-Men movies were probably the first superhero movies to make me geek-out a little. Actually… To be honest, I remember loving Tim Burton’s Batman and thinking Jack Nicholson was cool as hell as the Joker & I think I even bought some Joker earrings at the time (give me a break – I was in my early teens). Then things like (the Tobey Maguire) Spider-Mans came along (entertaining enough – not brilliant) and Fantastic Four (meh) and I was starting to get a little bored with the superhero thing. Then Batman Begins & The Dark Knight came along, re-inventing the genre & making truly stunning “films” instead of mere “comic book” movies. You had Iron Man the same year as The Dark Knight and I was loving the superhero thing again. And although Batman Begins is a better “film”, I probably enjoyed the first Iron Man movie more. I was so pleasantly surprised by the first Iron Man. I loved that it was somewhere between the superhero movies that were a little too cheesy (Fantastic Four) and the very dark & serious Nolan Batman films. I loved Tony Stark’s charming arrogance & internal struggle (Ha! Well, yeah – all superheroes have that internal struggle thing I guess). My point is, I loved the first Iron Man & he’s definitely one of my favorite comic book characters as portrayed by Hollywood in the last ten years or so. So I’m a little disappointed to have to say that Iron Man 3 is a bit weak compared to the first two.

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My Opinion on Iron Man 3:

I think a big part of the problem is that this follows on from The Avengers. So, really, how can you actually expect to top THAT? You’re going from having superheroes galore fighting bad-ass aliens with over the top, non-stop action back to one guy going it alone against a bad guy who isn’t going to seem much of a threat when compared with the threat to all of humanity that we saw in The Avengers. And could none of the Avengers give Tony Stark a hand in this one? After all he did to help out at the end of The Avengers?! Ingrates. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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The Good:

Ben Kingsley. Loved him. Can’t go into it much but he’s great in this role.

Harley. Probably one of those things that will divide people but I liked this little sub-plot.

The focus on one superhero again. Yes, I know I’ve just contradicted what I said above. Having all the superheroes in The Avengers was exciting, so it’s hard to top that excitement. But I also found that to be slight overkill in The Avengers so it was kind of nice just having one superhero to focus on again. Which is why it’s a shame that this script was so weak on character development when they had the chance to fully focus on Tony Stark again (more on that below).

The Iron Man suits. And gadgets. Still cool.

It’s Iron Man and it’s still fun, even if it’s not as good of a film as the other two (especially the first one, which is by far the best).

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The Not-So-Good:

Robert Downey Jr. Wait! Keep reading! I’m not saying he’s bad. Maybe I mean Tony Stark… Aside from a few panic attacks he’s suffering from due to the stress of what happened to him at the end of The Avengers, he doesn’t seem as “internally conflicted” as in the first two. That internal conflict thing is important in these superhero movies! I think this is the fault of the script for this one – he’s just not as well-developed as in the other two. But I suppose it’s perhaps hard to keep that up for three films (four including The Avengers). We all know Tony Stark by now. And, unfortunately, Robert Downey Jr seems a little bored in this one. The performance feels a bit “phoned in”. Sorry. He’s still better than….

Guy Pearce. He didn’t really work for me in this role. Weak character overall, I think.

Maya. Not that the character was bad – the character was wasted. They could have done more with her.

Tony Stark/Pepper Potts relationship. Not feeling it so much in this one. Again, though, I think that’s the fault of a script that doesn’t give you very fully-realized characters this time around.

The plot. It’s a bit “so what”. Especially after The Avengers. Just not as “exciting” as a lot of other superhero movie plots.

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End Credits Scene: Yes, there is one. Should you stay for it? Yes, if you’re a “completist” who MUST stay for all end credits scenes. But it’s not totally necessary to see it… So I guess it depends on how badly you have to pee. ๐Ÿ™‚

Summary:

A popcorn-worthy addition to the Iron Man set of films but the script and plot feel a bit weak overall and the characters feel under-developed. It’s okay but not as strong as the first Iron Man & certainly not as fun or exciting as The Avengers.

My Iron Man Rating: 8/10

My Iron Man 2 Rating: 6.5/10

My Iron Man 3 Rating: 6.5/10

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My 2013 Movies Seen

**I’ve been too harsh! Upped my Iron Man 2 & 3 ratings a bit. I still enjoy the Iron Man series – they’ve just been weak compared with the first one.