Deathgasm (2015) Review

Welcome to Day Three of horror comedies from New Zealand! It’s also the final day since I’ve only reviewed three! On Sunday I reblogged What We Do In The Shadows & yesterday I reviewed Housebound. Let’s finish things off with a bit of Deathgasm

Deathgasm (2015)

Directed & Written by Jason Lei Howden

Starring: Milo Cawthorne, James Blake, Kimberley Crossman, Stephen Ure

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
Two teenage boys unwittingly summon an ancient evil entity known as The Blind One by delving into black magic while trying to escape their mundane lives.

My Opinion:

I kind of trashed Housebound yesterday. I did, however, think that What We Do In The Shadows was very funny. So, I don’t hate all “horror comedies from New Zealand”! Just Housebound. 😉 Then again, I’ve seen hardly any so I’m certainly no expert. Why is horror comedy such a popular genre there?

I suppose the King of this very specific genre would be Peter Jackson. I admit I’ve never seen Bad Taste & think I only saw part of Braindead (aka Dead Alive in the U.S.). I saw The Frighteners since I’m an American 80s kid so of course like Michael J. Fox but I barely remember it (think I liked it okay). Otherwise, I’ve only seen Jackson’s more mainstream stuff like his 1,528 Lord Of The Rings/Hobbit films. I’ve seen one other movie in this tiny genre: Black Sheep (2006). Meh. It was okay. Or is that “Bah. It was okay”? So let’s rank these! My worst to best:

– Housebound
– Black Sheep
– Deathgasm
– The Frighteners
– What We Do In The Shadows

Number one is first by far but, considering that I barely even remember my number two choice but stuck it at two anyway, I’ve clearly not been too impressed with this genre overall. Deathgasm looked like the type of movie I’d love so maybe I hyped it up too much but I was definitely disappointed.

From the little bit I’ve seen of Braindead, you should like this one if you like Jackson’s old stuff. This movie has a load of over-the-top fake gore. And lots of puking up blood, which I could’ve done without. I’m not really a fan of the whole “puking up blood” thing. This is a full-on splatterfest, if you like that sort of thing. It’s not something I love but will put up with if a movie is entertaining enough. Deathgasm was sort of just good enough to make me sit through the gore.

The most important thing, to me, was the “heavy metal” aspect & I’d say the movie did that well. I can’t say I actually knew any of the music (Should I? I’m not very hip – I stick to old school metal) but the look of the film & our two main metal dudes gave it a great heavy metal vibe. Plus, you know, there was lots of Satanic shit. You have to have Satanic shit in a heavy metal horror film! And a hot blonde.


Actually, why didn’t I like Deathgasm more?? It should be my type of thing as I love metal dudes in movies (Wayne & Garth!). I liked our two main guys okay & the girl was thankfully a little bit more than just the hot blonde for our nerdy metal loner. It fulfills the horror side of things nicely for those who love splatterporn and the comedy side of things as it did give me a few chuckles. It was far more funny than Housebound but unfortunately far less funny than What We Do In The Shadows or the majority of the many great horror comedies. I absolutely love this genre when a movie does it right (I did a list of My Top Ten Horror Comedies HERE) so maybe I’m overly picky but Deathgasm doesn’t come close to being added to that list. Too gross-out & not even laughs plus characters I can’t say I connected with as much as I was hoping. It was fun for a one-time watch, though, and worth a try for metalhead gorehounds.

My Rating: 5.5/10

I’d much rather hang out with Jack, Kyle & the best Satan ever than Brodie, Zakk & Satanic blood puking. Would be a lot more fun!

Music Video Friday: Ratt – Round And Round

Today’s video is Round And Round by Ratt.

I chose this video because I’m old and uncool. I was a teenager when pretty boy hair metal was popular & I loved it & I won’t apologize. Although, I wouldn’t really say that any member of Ratt was pretty. Not like Kip Winger! Or Mark Slaughter! Or even a little bit of Sebastian Bach! Hotties. I mean, I preferred heavier stuff like Metallica musically but I didn’t want to cuddle with them & exchange beauty tips.

Oh, but this video is a classic. WTF is the message, anyway? That Ratt are so cool they can turn women feral?? Haha! I love sexist Eighties hair band videos! I grew up with them & put up with them & actually thought nothing of them at the time. Hell, one of my absolute favorite videos was ZZ Top’s Legs (still is, actually). But I’ll probably never even let my own daughter watch that one. Different time, different values.

Anyway, this video is less sexist than most from that era so I feel comfortable posting it. It’s mostly just hilarious – how does the girl end up looking like an entirely different person just because she hears Ratt’s music playing? And how did she have time to get her hair cut & dyed on her way up the steps? It’s almost as confusing as the fact that Milton Berle is in this video. I always found that strange! But, hey – we didn’t have Wikipedia when this video came out (or, like, the Internet). Thanks to modern technology, I can now share 80’s music video trivia tidbits with the two people who read these posts! Yay!!! So tell us, Wikipedia, why the hell was Milton Berle in a Ratt video?!:

“The video briefly features comedian Milton Berle, whose nephew Marshall Berle was Ratt’s band manager at the time.”

Ah HA! So that’s why! Thank you, Wikipedia. And thank you as well for this interesting (and sad) tidbit too:

“The vixen in the video is model Lisa Dean who would play the lead character, Diana, in the 1988 Michael Jackson music video of Dirty Diana. Dean died in December 2009 at the age of 50 after a bout with colon cancer.”

Oh, and here’s a quick personal trivia tidbit that no one will find interesting but I’m going to share anyway: my cousin went to see Ratt & Poison together in concert in the Eighties & my grandma thought she was going to see a band called Rat Poison. Ha! I’m easily amused. And this video amuses me. And I kind of still love this song & will probably watch this video several times tonight after I get home from work. The song is already stuck in my head as I type this.

I love the metalhead butler… Punch that fist in the air!

Heavy Metal Parking Lot (1986) Sort-Of-Review

Last week, I watched this 1986 17-minute documentary directed by John Heyn and Jeff Krulik. Apparently it’s a bit of a cult classic that had totally passed me by for all these years.

Well, it’s not something I can exactly “review” but, as it’s available on YouTube, I thought it would be fun to mention it & share it here for anyone who may be interested in watching it. Here’s a little about it from Wikipedia:

Heavy Metal Parking Lot documents heavy metal music fans tailgating in the parking lot outside the Capital Centre (which was demolished in December 2002) in Landover, Maryland, on May 31, 1986, before a Judas Priest concert during their Fuel for Life tour (with opening act Dokken).

By the early 1990s, Heavy Metal Parking Lot had become an underground cult-classic, usually traded on bootleg VHS videotapes. It was reportedly a favorite on the Nirvana tour bus, among many other bands. Due to growing popular demand for the film, music-rights issues were finally sorted out with Judas Priest.

Yeah, this was a fun watch and certainly not something that’ll waste your time at only 17 minutes. Only those who lived through this era will really appreciate the very low budget interviews with a bunch of drunk metalheads, though. There were several guys I went to school with who were exactly like these dudes (not the girls so much). I wasn’t really part of a group in school as I was more of a loner but I got along with the jocks, etc, just as well as with the metalheads. But I preferred the metalheads. I never really explored Judas Priest beyond the biggest hits but I did like the songs I knew (I was more of a Metallica & Anthrax girl).

Duuuuuude…..

The best thing about this documentary is the guy in the below photo, who they later named “Zebra-Man”. Because there’s a follow-up “Where Are They Now” thing in which they track him down & interview him (you can watch that HERE. but, of course, watch the film first). Two even shorter follow-ups, Monster Truck Parking Lot & Neil Diamond Parking Lot, are also available on YouTube. They’re okay but a bit pointless – stick with the original!

Here you go, my fellow 1986 metalheads! Heavy Metal Parking Lot… 🙂

**Yeah, I believe you heard that right… She’s 13! 😳

Music Video Friday: Metallica – The Unforgiven

Today’s video is Metallica’s The Unforgiven. The first one. The good one. Hell, I didn’t even know there was a third Unforgiven until I looked this video up on YouTube for this post.

I was a huge Metallica fan in my teen years but I have to admit that I started losing interest after the Load & Reload albums. I was out of high school by that point and moving on somewhat from my headbanging days but, quite frankly, those albums were also really shit compared to their previous ones. Well, I believe Garage, Inc. came out just after those? I did like that album a lot but that’s because I already loved the songs that were on the original Garage Days Re-Revisited (The Wait & The Small Hours rule). A few of the new covers on Garage, Inc. were okay too but, mostly, it was the older re-released covers that were the best. Man, I remember how excited I was in anticipation of Load & Reload being released, though! What a massive disappointment.

It was the same way with Guns N’ Roses, Use Your Illusion I & II. Remember those?! Ugh. Although, more decent singles actually came out of those than Metallica’s Load or Reload… Unbelievable! I far prefer Metallica. I was actually just getting over mono, which I was convinced would be the death of me (mono sucks), when those Guns N’ Roses albums came out & I dragged myself from my death bed to go buy those fuckers. Dammit. Those albums were SO not worth setting back my mono-recovery for a few more days.

But I digress. Massively. Because The Unforgiven is from Metallica’s last truly good (although very mainstream & not my actual favorite) album. Master Of Puppets is probably my favorite album, followed by Ride The Lightning. Sorry… Reminiscing again! I miss old school metal. Ah, but Metallica’s Black Album (or self-titled if you prefer) came along when I was the perfect age for it & it ended up being the one I’ve heard the most by far as my friends & I would drive around constantly listening to it. I remember a friend & I going to a local fair and headbanging to the album being played loudly on one of the rides. The carnies saw us and decided it would be fun to leave us on the ride for f*^king ages while I screamed at them to stop the damn ride because all the headbanging ended up making me sick. Those bastards. Ahh…. The teen years…. *sigh*

Okay – should I actually talk about the video for The Unforgiven? I suppose One is Metallica’s most famous video (I love that too – I’ll post it one of these Fridays) but I became quite obsessed with this one. Why? Because I was an idiot teenager with too much time on my hands & I loved to analyze lyrics & videos and to think I was all deep & shit. I thought The Unforgiven video was all deep & shit too. I could totally relate to my interpretation of this video and I was all “Metallica understand me & my teen angst, man!”. Or something. I dunno but I don’t have time for overanalyzing anything anymore. You lose interest in that in old age (and when you have kids). I’m too tired for that shit now!

But, watching this again now and clearly remembering every single second of it despite not seeing it in decades, I do still think it’s a fantastic video. I always saw it as being about lonliness & desperately trying to reach out & open up to someone but never being able to. How teen angst is that! But according to Wikipedia:

“The song deals with the theme of the struggle of the individual against the efforts of those who would subjugate him.”

Bullshit. I like my interpretation better. Maybe that’s the meaning of the lyrics but not so much the video. There was a longer 11 1/2 minute version of the video but I don’t think the extra bits added to the story (you can watch that HERE if you want). Then of course there was The Unforgiven II from Reload and I appreciate the similar theme to that video (HERE) but it doesn’t make much sense plus I was too old by that point to care to spend time analyzing it. Finally, there’s The Unforgiven III, which I can’t seem to find a video for other than one showing clips of the first two. Does anyone know if one exists?

Well, this was a nice little trip down memory lane but it’s time for me to go take out my dentures & listen to Adele. Ha! Just kidding. Adele sucks. Here’s The Unforgiven video. Finally.

Music Video Friday: Ozzy Osbourne – Bark At The Moon

Today’s selection for Music Video Friday is Ozzy Osbourne’s Bark At The Moon.

Why? Because it’s Thursday night & I’m tired and have nothing scheduled for Music Video Friday tomorrow (which is now now if you’re reading this). So I’m posting this. Because Ozzy Osbourne rules. 

I was actually looking for Shot In The Dark but that video wasn’t on YouTube. Anyone remember that video? This pretty girl turns into some sort of demonic slut because she goes to see Ozzy in concert. Or something like that.

Well, you can watch Ozzy turn into a werewolf instead. His hair actually looks better while he’s a werewolf. God I love this shit. 🙂

Music Video Friday: Blind Melon – No Rain

Here’s a lazy contribution to Music Video FridayBlind Melon’s No Rain. I mean, who hasn’t seen this video?! This got played on MTV SO. DAMN. MUCH. in 1992/1993.

I have to say that I really kind of hate that early Nineties era of music now. Well, actually, all of the Nineties pretty much sucked for music. I’m not saying there aren’t songs throughout that decade that I like – just that, as a whole, there were a lot of shitty ones. It’s weird that I feel all warm & fuzzy when I hear songs from the Eighties but I don’t get that way with many from the decade that followed. I mean, I was actually still a teenager when this came out in 1992 so you’d think I’d be more fond of that era.

It’s like the Grunge thing came along & started to kill off the metal thing, which sucked. I worded that poorly – heavy metal rules! I mean, it sucked that Grunge kind of killed it off. I’ll fully admit that I liked Grunge at the time (other than Nirvana – never could get into Nirvana. Foo Fighters are so much better!). I preferred Pearl Jam to Soundgarden and slightly preferred Alice In Chains to Pearl Jam. Hey – what were Faith No More considered? They were better than all of these! I still like them. But I honestly don’t think I’ve listened to any of my old Grunge stuff once since the Nineties ended. However, to this day I still listen to things like Metallica & Anthrax sometimes. It’s like Tenacious D said in The Metal: “Grunge tried to kill the metal. They failed, as they were thrown to the ground!”. lol. I love that song.

Where the hell am I going with this rant?! I only chose this video today so I’d have a really quick & easy post for my last Music Video Friday until November! (I’m going to skip this little series while I focus on horror through October). I think that, while No Rain is a good song, it’s a “pop” song & it felt like too many bands similar to Blind Melon popped up during that whole Grunge movement. Bands with long hair & that Grunge look who made really tame, radio-friendly pop songs like this one. Then it got worse during what I call the “American Pie Era” of the very late Nineties with crap like Semisonic & Third Eye Blind & things like that “heart in a blender!” song. (Okay, I lie – I kind of like that Eve 6 song).

Anyway! Blind Melon were a part of a time which, musically, I’ve grown to hate a little in my bitter old age. But, you have to admit that the video is fantastic. I loved it then & I love it still. Who can’t relate with wanting to just be accepted for who we are? It’s such a simple idea for a video but so effective. And the end still puts a smile on my grumpy old face. 🙂

Here’s a little bit about the video from Wikipedia:

The music video, directed by Samuel Bayer, stars Heather DeLoach as the “Bee Girl” — a young tap dancer wearing a homemade bee costume and large glasses, modeled after the Blind Melon album’s cover: a family picture of Georgia Graham, younger sister of drummer Glen Graham. The Bee Girl’s story is intercut with footage of Blind Melon performing in a field against a clear blue sky.

Dance away, little Bee Girl!!

My Top Five Metallica Songs

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In honor of Ryan Gosling’s Metallica – Ride The Lightning t-shirt in The Place Beyond The Pines (Good movie – read my review HERE), I thought I’d post my Top Five Metallica songs. I’d like to point out that I’ve mellowed out now. My metal days are over & I can’t say I’ve listened to Metallica much since about 1992. But I did love them at the time. Okay… I do admit that all of these are on my iPod so I may be fibbing a little.

1. Master Of Puppets
2. One
3. Fade To Black
4. Seek & Destroy
5. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

Honorable Mentions:

Battery
The Thing That Should Not Be
For Whom The Bell Tolls

And I love these (more than some of those above) but figured they shouldn’t be in the top five as they’re covers:

The Small Hours
The Wait
Am I Evil?
Die, Die My Darling (yes I like the Misfits one)

Sexy Ryan Gosling rocking the metalhead look:

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And in searching for the Ryan Gosling photo, I found this one. Ha! Ties in to my recent post about Disney Princesses, I guess. I’m digging Alice In Wonderland’s new look. I think all the Disney girls need to get themselves some tattoos & piercings.

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