Might as well stick the three shittiest movies I watched this month into one post…
The FP (2011)
Directed by Brandon Trost & Jason Trost
Starring: Jason Trost, Lee Valmassy, Caitlyn Folley, Art Hsu, Nick Principe, Dov Tiefenbach, Clifton Collins, Jr., Sean Whalen
Narrated by James Remar (I’m including this as he’s in The Warriors, which rules)
Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The film focuses on two gangs, the 248 and the 245, fighting for control of Frazier Park (the FP). The gangs settle their disputes by playing Beat-Beat Revelation, a music video game similar to Dance Dance Revolution. Gang member JTRO (Jason Trost) trains to defeat L Dubba E (Lee Valmassy), the leader of a rival gang.
My Opinion:
Sometimes you just want to watch something that sounds dumb as hell. Gangs playing a version of Dance Dance Revolution to determine who rules the streets? Nice. Can see this wanted to end up a cult classic but it’s not as fun or as “goodbad” as needed to achieve that. Think I was hoping for a Turbo Kid with the dystopian setting but this isn’t nearly as memorable or as entertaining. I’ve given it an extra half point for originality, though.
My Rating: 5.5/10
The Death Of Dick Long (2019)
Directed by Daniel Scheinert
Starring: Michael Abbott Jr., Virginia Newcomb, Andre Hyland, Sarah Baker, Jess Weixler, Roy Wood Jr., Sunita Mani
Plot Synopsis:
You don’t want to know.
My Opinion:
Watched this already knowing what it was about (sort of – I thought it was, erm, the other way around) but figured “Why not? I watched Butt Boy so I guess I can watch this.” I mainly checked this out as it’s another movie by one of The Daniels and I seem to be in the minority in disliking EEAAO & Swiss Army Man. I can say I’m still not a fan after Dick Long but this movie was unlikely to be the one to make me a fan if I didn’t even like their movies that didn’t involve ******* a *****. (If you really want to know what I’ve censored, I’ll spoil it for you in the comments. And maybe ruin your day a bit.)
I’ll give it this: It’s weird & I have a fascination with weird movies so will always check them out because at least they’re memorable I guess (I’ll unfortunately never forget this one), I liked the two female cops & the humor in those scenes, and the main dude was a decent enough actor. How do you talk someone into starring in this? No wonder Scheinert had to play Dick Long. Was surprised that this story was told in a pretty straightforward way. It does have some dark humor but I was expecting much more based on how bizarre their other films are. This isn’t exactly a film I’d ever recommend to anyone but maybe watch it if you really love The Daniels & feel like you absolutely must see the previous work of Scheinert.
Just want to add that Jess Weixler is also in this so she must love being in strange films. She was in Teeth (which I have to admit that I liked) & also in what’s possibly the weirdest film I’ve ever seen (Chained For Life). Too bad she wasn’t in Butt Boy!
My Rating: 5/10
A Boy And His Dog (1975)
Directed by L.Q. Jones
Based on A Boy and His Dog by Harlan Ellison
Starring: Don Johnson, Susanne Benton, Alvy Moore, Jason Robards
Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
A young man and his telepathic dog wander a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
My Opinion:
I watched this as I love post-apocalyptic films, especially from the ‘70s & ‘80s, and I was intrigued by the wacky synopsis of a dude & his telepathic dog in a dystopian wasteland. But, man, this movie hates women. Turns out the dog helps the dude (Don Johnson) find women to rape. But then the film takes an even more bizarre turn & that’s when it gets more interesting and could have caused this to become a cult classic. Then they completely fucked it up by not ending the movie at the perfect spot, which would have been a very fitting end for the main character.
Hard to know what to rate this as I appreciate the absolute madness of the middle of the film and I love the setting & its very ‘70s feel. Not at all a fan of the misogyny, though. We have enough of that in present day America. (This is set in 2024 so, hey, scarily accurate still!)
My Rating: 5/10
Cinema Parrot Disco 