Rampage (2018) Review

Rampage (2018)

Directed by Brad Peyton

Based on Rampage by Midway Games

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Malin Akerman, Jake Lacy, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
When three different animals become infected with a dangerous pathogen, a primatologist and a geneticist team up to stop them from destroying Chicago.

My Opinion:

Went to this movie the other night with the hubby & kid. It’s cool when the kids get older and the “family” movies get more fun! It’s probably the most extreme film the kid has now seen – it’s a fairly full-on monster movie. As far as family monster movies go (are there many of those??), Rampage was predictable and somewhat forgettable but a thoroughly entertaining popcorn movie. We all enjoyed it.

I may be starting to like Dwayne Johnson. I mean, I never paid much attention to him and I don’t think I’ve seen many movies he’s been in (I can only think of this, San Andreas & Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle). Oh, I suppose there’s Moana as well but he’s possibly the worst thing about that. Sorry! I don’t think he’s personally bad in it – I just don’t like Disney characters who aren’t timeless. I also really don’t like the Genie in Aladdin although I like Robin Williams. I want a Disney character, not a really obvious real-life actor. Oops – I’m off topic! The Rock is perfect for roles such as the one in Rampage and in Jumanji, which I actually liked a heck of a lot and found very funny. Weird how these big muscle guys end up in comedies or family movies so often. Well, Johnson is all he needs to be in this role. Is that a compliment? I think I mean it as one. I mean, it’s not like a movie like this is going to win anyone an Academy Award or anything.


The real star of this, though, is the albino gorilla (named George). Johnson’s character has helped raise George & taught him sign language but things all go to shit when a spaceship explodes with, like, science experiments that crash land in the Everglades and turn three creatures (including George) into enormous, raging monsters. The villains (those in charge of the experiments, including Malin Akerman) are cheesy as fuck but that’s the way villains should be in these sort of movies. Naomie Harris was good as the experiment expert (geneticist) who teams up with Johnson. Jeffrey Dean Morgan was mostly just distracting since he made me think about how much The Walking Dead sucks now. Who cares, though – this movie is all about the big monkey. George is cool. My kid loved him.

Rampage. It’s a monster movie. It’s cheesy but fun. It’s based on a video game that I know nothing about. Some have said it’s probably the best video game movie (as we know, they all suck major ass for some strange reason). No, it’s not a “good” movie but it’s fun & thoroughly entertaining. Yes, it’s probably now the best video game movie. There’s loads of action so, if you love watching monsters destroying big cities, you won’t be disappointed. It’s directed by the same guy who did San Andreas, which was a fun disaster movie but was also a truly bad film. Rampage has just as much destruction but it’s definitely a big improvement on San Andreas. And it’s cooler watching mutant monsters destroying cities than earthquakes. And there were no lovable big gorillas in San Andreas. Rampage is definitely the better film. I kind of want to give it a slightly higher rating…

My Rating: 6.5/10


Red Dawn (2012), People Like Us & We’re The Millers Movie Reviews

Here’s another trio of super short reviews of movies that I watched two years ago & barely remember now! What’s the point, you ask? Well, it’s annoying me that they’re still sitting HERE on my list of Movies Watched In 2014 without reviews attached to them. So, let’s get this over with. One paragraph each! Don’t expect any in-depth analysis. Not that you ever get that from this blog anyway… 😉

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Red Dawn (2012)

Directed by Dan Bradley

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, Adrianne Palicki, Isabel Lucas, Connor Cruise, Brad Garrett, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
A group of teenagers look to save their town from an invasion of North Korean soldiers.

My Opinion:

Wow. It’s bad enough that so many pointless remakes keep getting made but it’s especially frustrating when they’re complete & utter shit like this Red Dawn remake. Don’t worry – I’m not going to be all “They shouldn’t have touched Red Dawn because the original is a classic!” since that was never an absolute favorite of mine & I’m not all precious about it like I am with a lot of other 80’s movies. But why take a mediocre movie & remake it into something 1,000 times worse?? Oh well! I only watched this because sexy Chris Hemsworth is in it (with his short hair – I prefer him that way). I don’t remember now who lives & who dies but I do remember completely losing interest and not giving a shit about any of the characters. I also remember that I watched this just after getting Netflix & they seemed to have a horrible selection back then (it’s much better now) so I wasted too much time on shit like this & that stupid ATM movie. Speaking of which, that weird little Josh Peck was in that one as well. He had a really bad year for movies between Red Dawn & ATM! Screw Red Dawn. Screw ATM. You know what Josh Peck movie was actually pretty good? Mean Creek. Just watch that instead. Don’t watch this. Not even for short hair Chris Hemsworth. He looks the same in The Cabin In The Woods & that’s much better. Do a double feature of Mean Creek & The Cabin In The Woods! Don’t watch Red Dawn.

My Rating: 3.5/10

People Like Us (2012)

Directed by Alex Kurtzman

Starring: Chris Pine, Elizabeth Banks, Olivia Wilde, Michael Hall D’Addario, Michelle Pfeiffer

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
While settling his recently deceased father’s estate, a salesman discovers he has a sister whom he never knew about, leading both siblings to re-examine their perceptions about family and life choices.

My Opinion:

This was a decent movie – I’m not sure why I never reviewed it. Movies about family relationships don’t always appeal to me but this one, where Chris Pine finds out that he has a half-sister & nephew he never knew about, worked pretty well. I can’t stand Chris Pine but really like Elizabeth Banks plus the boy who played her son (Michael Hall D’Addario) was good so that helped. Oh! And Michelle Pfeiffer was in this too as Pine’s mother – love her. It was partly based on the life of the director, who first met his half-sister at the age of 30, so it probably also helped that the script was based on personal experience. I also liked this little bit of trivia HERE about the music memorabilia of Pine’s musician father in the film belonging to the record producer father of one of the script’s writers:

Much of the music business memorabilia in the “Jerry’s Study” set belongs to Jody Lambert’s father Dennis Lambert, a Songwriter’s Hall of Fame nominee whose hits as writer and/or producer include “Ain’t No Woman (Like The One I’ve Got)”, “Rhinestone Cowboy”, “Baby Come Back” and “Nightshift”.

Anyway, People Like Us isn’t going to change the world but it’s the type of movie that’s perfect to watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Good performances from those involved & I liked the story.

My Rating: 6.5/10

We’re The Millers (2013)

Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Emma Roberts, Will Poulter, Nick Offerman, Kathryn Hahn, Molly Quinn, Ed Helms

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
A veteran pot dealer creates a fake family as part of his plan to move a huge shipment of weed into the U.S. from Mexico.

My Opinion:

This movie is really not my type of thing and I don’t know why I watched it. I think I just wanted a simple movie on while I did stuff around the house plus I think I still kind of live in the hope that a modern comedy may actually turn out to be funny. Nope! This is yet another stupid modern “comedy” that failed to make me even crack a smile. Maybe I’m just old & bitter since I’ve liked hardly any comedy films since 1992? Comedy isn’t my favorite genre but I think the fact that so few movies are ever actually funny anymore is to blame for me going off the genre in recent years. Wait! I may have cracked a tiny smile when Will Poulter’s balls were bitten by a spider & they swelled up to an unnatural size while the movie showed us his whole package in gory detail. That was brave of Poulter as I’m sure a lot of people think “spider balls!” anytime they seen him in anything now. Although, I’m pretty sure we were seeing stunt balls. How does one get a job as a stunt penis? Anyway, maybe this movie wasn’t crude enough for me if that’s the only memorable part for me. I mean, I do like the Jackass movies & Bad Grandpa so, what the hell, I can’t figure out my taste in comedy. But I thought We’re The Millers was shit. Except for spider balls being mildly funny…

My Rating: 4/10