Watched, Read, Reviewed: May 2019

It’s July! Oops – I’m two months behind on my monthly roundup posts. Oh well, here’s what I watched in May. I saw some great stuff (finally!).

MOVIES IN MAY

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – 7.5/10
Pokémon Detective Pikachu – 5.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

A Matter Of Life And Death – I loved this! Why isn’t this movie more well known?? I decided to check it out when I saw people on Twitter highly recommending it when it was on TV. Here’s the IMDb plot synopsis if you’ve not heard of it: “A British wartime aviator who cheats death must argue for his life before a celestial court.” It’s a 1946 British film starring David Niven and Kim Hunter and it’s pretty damn epic. It reminded me of the great classics such as It’s A Wonderful Life. I loved the Technicolor look of it and the gorgeous elaborate sets (as far as 1946 films go). It also has a Wizard Of Oz vibe with the parts of the film that are set on Earth being in color and those in Heaven being in black & white. Fantastic!


This is also one of those old romantic films where the couple fall in love IMMEDIATELY. Like, they knew each for two whole seconds. Man I love that about old romances, like the super mushy Brief Encounter (which has the best sexual tension EVER). I love old movies and their sexless romance! I also love that everyone in old films looks at least 45. At one point David Niven said his age (27) and I was like “You’re shitting me!” Anyway. This movie was a lovely surprise and I highly recommend it if you like wartime romances and/or unique stories. There’s also some playful “American vs British” stuff that was quite fun and an enjoyable character in a small role as a stereotypical cocky American soldier (he was kind of hot, too). – 8/10

Infernal Affairs (Mou gaan dou) – This was great. I’ve been focusing on watching the remainder of the movies for my IMDb Top 250 Project. I prefer to see the original film before a Hollywood remake but didn’t manage that this time. Martin Scorsese’s The Departed is very good and a fairly faithful remake but, as expected, the original is better. I have a lot of IMDb film reviews to catch up on this year so I’ll do a review of this one along with the rest at some point. I highly recommend it if you liked The Departed (and if you’ve not seen The Departed, watch this one first!). – 7.5/10

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – 7.5/10

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner – I’ve been meaning to explore more of Sidney Poitier’s work so have finally managed to watch both this and In The Heat Of The Night, which was one that I chose as a 2019 Blind Spot film. In The Heat Of The Night is a better film but this one is also worth watching, mainly for the great performances (especially Poitier’s & Hepburn’s). I wasn’t crazy about his love interest but I think that’s just because her character was so annoyingly happy. She also just seemed a bit weak in comparison to the heavyweight stars in this one – these are proper ACTORS. The movie is obviously going to seem dated now and people might find it slightly uncomfortable to watch but, hell, I wouldn’t say that the times have changed as much as you’d have expected by now (just over 50 freaking YEARS later!). So I think it’s still a very relevant film & certainly worth a watch to see some classic actors at their usual best. The movie itself could’ve been slightly better – it does drag a little and the “stage play” feeling won’t be for everyone but I’m happy to say I’ve seen another Poitier film and think he’s fantastic. I don’t feel like the stars of today have the same sort of presence as classic stars such as Poitier & Hepburn. I should really watch more old films… – 7/10

Touch Of Evil – This is another IMDb Top 250 film so I’ll review it in full with the rest in a separate post. It was good but not a favorite of mine compared to the others I’ve watched from the Top 250 since starting this blog. – 7/10

The Wild Bunch – This is another Top 250 film as well as one of my 2019 Blind Spot choices so will get a full review later. I have to say that, while it’s a good film, I was a bit disappointed. I’ve watched several Westerns now since starting this blog and far prefer the others I’ve watched, such as Sergio Leone’s Dollars Trilogy. – 7/10

In Order Of Disappearance – The is the original Norwegian film of Liam Neeson’s Cold Pursuit (which I’ve not seen but the hubby enjoyed). It’s fine. It’s a decent revenge story and I can certainly see why they remade it with Neeson – it’s SO the type of film he’s typecast in now. To be honest, though, where I’m so behind on writing this I now don’t even remember it all that well. It’s an entertaining crime film but that’s never been a favorite genre of mine and I clearly find the movies in this genre a bit forgettable. – 6.5/10

Snowpiercer – Hmm. After waiting YEARS to finally get the opportunity to see this 2013 film in the U.K. and all the hype surrounding it, I have to say I was pretty disappointed. I was very much looking forward to seeing John Hurt again, though (R.I.P.), and I did love seeing him in this. At least I did have my doubts beforehand as I didn’t really like Bong Joon-ho’s movie Okja. However, I liked his film The Host and loved the crazy ass concept in Snowpiercer so was very interested in seeing it. People live on a motherfucking train that never stops and travels around the entire frozen apocalyptic Earth. That’s nuts. I love a weird ass story. I bet the French graphic novel this is based on, Le Transperceneige, is fun. I hope it’s better than this film, which was hard to fully get into as most of the characters are unlikeable and poorly developed. Strong characters are very important to me and annoying characters do seem to be a problem with Bong Joon-ho’s films that I’ve seen. I also hate over-the-top caricatures and hated Tilda Swinton in both this & Okja. Sorry, Swinton fans! It just threw me out of both movies. Chris Evans is fine but, again, by the end you kind of don’t care about him anymore (I won’t say why). I did, however, like the two characters who also happen to be the only likeable characters from The Host, so that helped the movie a bit and I was fine with how it ended. I’m just disappointed as the story itself had so much potential to be a really kick ass movie but it tries too hard to be weird & quirky and it fails massively in making you give the slightest shit about the characters. Great concept wasted. – 6.5/10

Lu Over The Wall – This was an odd one. First of all, if you want to see a good anime film about a weird fishgirl, do yourself a favor and watch Ponyo. And watch all the other Studio Ghibli movies. And Akira. And Ghost In The Shell. And Wolf Children. And Your Name. I’m no anime expert as I clearly stick to the most mainstream stuff but Lu Over The Wall is the sort of thing you’d watch after checking out more well-known anime first. It’s a cute movie but definitely aimed at a younger audience (maybe 13 and under). The mermaid, Lu, is sweet but a fraction annoying. The story is simple and the characters are likeable enough but slightly dull. I just far prefer the artistic beauty & otherworldliness of Studio Ghibli. The best way to describe it is to say that Lu Over The Wall is the equivalent of a DreamWorks movie in the West: Enjoyable enough for a couple of hours of entertainment but ultimately forgettable. – 6.5/10

Adrift – This was fine. I’d probably have liked it more with a different actress as I find Shailene Woodley annoying. But I’m always intrigued by true stories of people lost at sea (maybe because the thought of being adrift in the middle of the ocean freaks me out). If true story disaster dramas are your thing, this one is worth a watch. It’s exactly what I expected but most movies in this sort of genre are pretty predictable. – 6/10

The Wandering Earth – This Chinese sci-fi film was disappointing but had potential and certainly had plenty of ambition. Here’s the crazy IMDb synopsis: “As the sun is dying out, people all around the world build giant planet thrusters to move Earth out of its orbit and sail Earth to a new star system. Yet the 2500-year journey comes with unexpected dangers, and in order to save humanity, a group of young people in this age of a wandering Earth fight hard for the survival of humankind.” Hey – it’s no more outrageous than Snowpiercer! I just wish the characters had been stronger, which would have made up for the expected cheesiness of this story. The movie looked very good, which I enjoyed. It’s just a shame that the story is too much like cheesy Western sci-fi (I kept thinking of The Core from 2003). Oh well. It was entertaining enough for a couple of hours and I’m always happy to watch science fiction. – 6/10

King Of Thieves – I found this a bit disappointing as well. Ever since the real life Hatton Garden raid, I’ve been wanting them to make a movie of it starring Michael Caine. Casting that’s predictable as hell, yes, but he had to be in it! No one was more perfect for this role. But, somehow, they managed to make a movie about an amazing heist quite boring. I guess that’s kind of the point, though – these old British dudes managed this huge heist but it won’t have been all sleek & stylish like Ocean’s Eleven. It was a real heist, not a sexy Hollywood heist. I just wanted to like it more and to kind of like the characters, even though they’re criminals. They weren’t well developed and I’m still not exactly sure why they even did this robbery. – 6/10

The Monster – This was fine for a (I’m assuming) low-budget indie “horror”. It’s more of a psychological horror, although you do see the monster (even though it’s symbolic of the mother and her strained relationship with her daughter). If you want a straight-up horror, this one probably won’t be your kind of thing. If you want an indie drama about a mother & daughter with some decent acting (for a “horror” movie), you might like this one. But I gotta admit it’s a little boring & the mother (played by Zoe Kazan) is a little too hateful. – 6/10

Pokémon Detective Pikachu – 5.5/10

The Sentinel (1977) – Ugh. I love 70’s horror so had been meaning to check this out for a while as I’d never seen it. Plus, it has Burgess Meredith in it (love him!). I wasn’t missing much. There was some messy, incoherent story about, I dunno… priests or some shit? It doesn’t matter – the story was stupid. There was some fun weirdness in this, though, and some unnecessary nudity. Maybe that’s why some people remember this fondly; they got to see some boobies and therefore forgot that the overall film was a bit crap.

Oh, we also got to see Beverly D’Angelo playing with herself…

Yeah, that’s ruined National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation for me a bit. What’s funny is that, for a crap 70’s horror, this had some very big names in it! Here are some of them: Cristina Raines, Chris Sarandon, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Sylvia Miles, Eli Wallach, Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum, John Carradine, Jerry Orbach, Tom Berenger, and, of course, Beverly D’Angelo masturbating. This movie was a real waste of some big stars. – 5/10

The Funhouse – Not only do I love 70’s horror… I also love cheesy 80’s horror! So this Tobe Hooper movie seemed right up my alley. PLUS it’s set in a carnival and I always love this sort of setting. And a Funhouse! What’s better than a creepy-ass Funhouse?! Well… damn. This movie isn’t exactly the worst 80’s horror I’ve seen since I’ve seen MANY bad ones – It’s just very forgettable. Maybe I hyped it up too much in my mind. Meh. Watch it only if you’re sad like me and feel the urge to watch every movie ever made in my favorite sort of genres… – 5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt – Don’t have much spare time at the moment so haven’t really been reading. I’m slowly working my way through this book as the movie is coming out in September. It’s good so far – I just wish it was much shorter! I shouldn’t have started such a long novel at the moment…

TV SHOWS WATCHED

Game Of Thrones – In my last Roundup post, I was partway through the final season and didn’t write much as the show was annoying me. I said I’d write more about it when it was finished. I can’t be fucking bothered to write anything now. Kind of like the writers clearly couldn’t be bothered to write the final season of Game Of Thrones… What a massive letdown after this started out as some of the best TV with the best writing in years.

Grey’s Anatomy – Ha. Whatever. Fuck this show. I only continue to watch it since I have to now that it’s been on so damn long. Come to think of it, I can’t even remember what the hell happened this season. What was the usual cliffhanger? Wow. I honestly can’t remember. That’s bad.

Well, it’s July now and I’ve watched the first two episodes of season 3 of Stranger Things. Am hoping it’ll be better than Season 2.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

My plan is to hopefully catch up on reviewing current films. I’ve just watched Spider-Man: Far From Home & I’m posting a review of Midsommar tomorrow.

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

As I’m so far behind on this post, I’ve already seen all that I could have of June’s cinema releases. So here’s a quick list of the 2019 movies I saw in June (and which I’ll also try to review at some point):

Toy Story 4 – 8/10
Yesterday – 7.5/10
Rocketman – 7.5/10
Ma – 7/10
Child’s Play (2019) – 6.5/10
Booksmart – 7/10
Wine Country – 6.5/10
Brightburn – 6.5/10
Boogaloo Shrimp Documentary – 6.5/10
Murder Mystery – 5.5/10

There was no memorable music in the movies I watched in May so let’s just watch this video of Keanu Reeves with puppies.

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John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) Review

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

Directed by Chad Stahelski

Based on Characters by Derek Kolstad

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry, Laurence Fishburne, Mark Dacascos, Asia Kate Dillon, Lance Reddick, Anjelica Huston, Ian McShane

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
Super-assassin John Wick is on the run after killing a member of the international assassin’s guild, and with a $14 million price tag on his head – he is the target of hit men and women everywhere.

My Opinion:

Oops. I just realized it’s been 2 weeks since I saw this movie and I’ve not yet “reviewed” it. I’m struggling to find the time these days but I like to at least say a little something about the cinema releases that I see. Oh crap… I’ve not yet reviewed Detective Pikachu either! Ha! Maybe I’ll do that next. I’d rather talk about Keanu.

Keanu Reeves. I love him. Who doesn’t?! Anything you ever read about the guy is positive. He’s one of the very few truly likable movie stars. I sometimes feel a bit annoyed at everyone jumping on the Keanu bandwagon. He’s a star from my generation, dammit! Us Gen-Xers have always known he’s awesome. Point Break and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure kick ASS. Even more so than John Wick. I of course did My Top Ten Keanu Reeves Movies HERE. I was maybe a bit rough on John Wick, which I haven’t ranked very high but that’s mainly because Reeves has just been in a lot of really good films. It’s a very solid Top Ten. He deserves more credit!

I’ve enjoyed the John Wick series and think the franchise, as a whole, has gotten better with each film as we get to know these characters a bit more each time. He’s a great character but I think that’s honestly thanks to Keanu, who gives Wick a humble vulnerability that I don’t think most of the bigger name action stars could manage. I can’t see a different actor in this role. I also love the world that these films have created. This secret assassin underground with their fancy hotels and strict rules is cool as shit. Parabellum is also probably the most stylish one yet with a fantastically over-the-top setting for the film’s final battles. All that glass! Hilarious. It was so obvious they were going to smash the shit out of that place. These movies truly are ridiculous but that’s what makes them fun. John Wick isn’t exactly trying to win any Oscars.

I will say that the violence in these films is a bit too much for me personally. I’m not anti-violence in movies but I’m a total wuss and had to look away so often that I probably missed half of this one. It’s the whole point of these movies, though, so it’s not an actual complaint – it just helps keep the John Wick movies from ever being absolute favorites of mine. Point Break is more my speed. Ha! SPEED! Yeah, Speed is more my Speed too. I’ll just always find it funny how desensitised the world is to violence. This is rated 15 in the U.K.! How is it not an 18? It’s excessively violent. Yet a tiny bit of sex, swearing, and a naked boob will get an instant 18. “Oh my god, a nipple! That’ll have to be rated R!”. The world is so fucked up.

My only complaint about this one is the ending. So, this might be a SLIGHT SPOILER (but not really as John Wick 4 has already been announced): The cliffhanger ending and obvious setup for the sequel annoyed me. This series would’ve been PERFECT as a trilogy. Had there been a proper ending with some sort of closure for our dog-avenging assassin hero, I’d rate this film and well as the series as a whole much more highly. I miss the days of a good, solid trilogy. I’m sick of this trend of never-ending sequels. It lessens the impact of the movies as the sequels often get worse and more desperate. Know when to stop, Hollywood! I’m also still thoroughly annoyed that another Toy Story is coming out and I absolutely love Pixar and watch everything they make. But that trilogy was perfection. So I can’t bring myself to give John Wick 3 any higher than 7.5/10, which is what I gave the previous two films. Had Parabellum given us (as well as Wick’s character) a well-deserved finish, I’d go back and give all three films a higher rating. After these three movies, which have gotten a little more “enjoyable” each time as they go more & more over-the-top (in a fun way), I now have to say that I think the first one is the best as I liked its simplicity. I’m sure I’ll begrudgingly watch John Wick 4 as well as Toy Story 4 but they’ll both have to do something seriously amazing to impress me. I have very low expectations for them.

Keanu Reeves is fantastic, though. He IS John Wick. He’s perfect for this role and 100% the reason why I continue to watch these films. He deserves way more credit for bringing this character to life as I honestly think this series would be a bit dull and far less loved with a different actor.

My Rating: 7.5/10

**Oh, I loved Anjelica Huston & Halle Berry in this too. Forgot to mention that!

My Top Ten Willem Dafoe Movies

Happy Birthday to Willem Dafoe, who is 62 tomorrow.

I have to admit that I’m not necessarily a huge fan of Dafoe. I think he’s a decent actor & has been in an interesting range of films but my main reason for even giving him much thought is probably because he’s one of so few actors from my home state. Why are there so few famous people from my state?!

As with all my actor top tens, these are ranked from my least favorite to favorite movie instead of by performance (Although, to be honest, number one is probably my favorite performance as well. He’s awesome in that!). So here are My Top Ten Willem Dafoe Movies:

*Updated July 2018 to add The Florida Project & Nymphomaniac: Vol II*

The Rest That I’ve Seen:

20. The English Patient (screw this movie)
19. Speed 2: Cruise Control
18. American Dreamz
17. American Psycho
16. Nymphomaniac: Vol. II
15. Cry-Baby
14. Born On The Fourth Of July
13. The Last Temptation Of Christ
12. Clear And Present Danger (barely remember it, to be honest)
11. Daybreakers

Top Ten:

10. TIE: The Fault In Our Stars & The Florida Project

9. Odd Thomas

8. The Spider-Man Movies

7. The Aviator

6. Streets Of Fire

5. Platoon

4. John Wick

3. The Hunger

2. eXistenZ

1. Finding Nemo

Honorable Mention:
Finding Dory, because it’s just a small cameo

Some Of The Many I’ve Not Seen:
To Live And Die In L.A., Mississippi Burning, Wild At Heart, Body Of Evidence, Basquiat, The Boondock Saints, Shadow Of The Vampire, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, Manderlay, Inside Man, Tales From Earthsea, Antichrist, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Cirque Du Freak, John Carter, The Grand Budapest Hotel

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) Review

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

Directed by Chad Stahelski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Common, Laurence Fishburne, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ruby Rose, John Leguizamo, Ian McShane, Lance Reddick

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
After returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.

My Opinion:

I think these John Wick films could grow on me if they keep making them. Although, having said that, I also hope they stop and make it only a trilogy to avoid overkill (Ha! Literally, since there’s a lot of killing in these!!!! Holy hell).

I reviewed the first John Wick HERE last week & gave it a sort of “meh” review. I’ve felt kind of bad about that ever since. It was a fun action film. If you don’t take it too seriously, you should enjoy it. I was possibly going to wait for the sequel to come to Netflix but an opportunity arose for me to go see it over the weekend so I did. I’m glad I did. This is one of those instances where the sequel has actually made me like the original film even more. Things are coming together and I think this becoming a trilogy will be perfect. We’re leaning more about John Wick and this crazy secret society of hitmen with their strict rules of conduct. But, at the same time, it maintains the air of mystery from the first film which at first slightly annoyed me but now makes more sense as I realize that maybe we shouldn’t know absolutely everything about the character of John Wick. We don’t need to. He’s an ex-killer. No… He’s had a change of heart but he’s still a killer. He’s far from perfect. But none of that really matters. We just want to see him kick ass. We still want to see him kick ass because THAT PUPPY WAS SO DAMN CUTE.

I’m going to keep this review short as I think I spent long enough explaining my feelings in my review of the first film. I want to love these movies as much as everyone else seems to but they still don’t quite resonate with me. I stand by my opinion that, when comparing Keanu Reeves action flicks, the John Wicks come nowhere near the awesomeness of Point Break. They also don’t manage to match up to Speed or The Matrix. However, I’ll give them this: John Wick: Chapter 2 is a very strong sequel that actually manages to elevate the first one whereas the Speed & Matrix sequels were so bad that they almost managed to completely destroy the original films.

These John Wick films are definitely headed in the right direction and I’m now looking forward to the next film much more than I’d expected. This sequel is even more slick & stylish than the first and the scenes in Rome plus an action-packed scene in a mirrored art installation were a joy to watch. And with so many exceptionally strong supporting characters (I’ve especially liked Willem Dafoe & Ian McShane but I could go on & on listing all the great characters), I can’t wait to see everyone again. The characters who are still alive, that is… 😉 Plus you know they’ll get just as many impressive actors for the next film as well since someone clearly has great Hollywood connections. Maybe Keanu is just friends with everyone in Hollywood. Who doesn’t love Keanu, right?

Oh! One last thought that I had in the middle of watching Chapter 2. Maybe this is why these films are subconsciously growing on me? In a youth-obsessed Hollywood, it suddenly occurred to me just how old the majority of the main cast in both John Wick films are. Keanu himself is (a very hot) 52! McShane (74), Dafoe (61), Fishburne (55), Leguizamo (52). Even the dead-flashback-wife is age-appropriate to her husband instead of being 20 years younger (Bridget Moynahan – 45). Wick 2 also has a very memorable scene proving that 45 can be sexy with a great performance from 45-year-old actress Claudia Gerini. And Common is as handsome as always in this sequel (I loved that he had such a big role) – It’s just funny to think that he’s kind of a youngster in comparison to everyone else (only 44!).


Anyway, this won’t seem like a big deal to twentysomethings but it was kind of awesome when I thought about it. These super violent, action-packed, stylish, well-acted, kick-ass John Wick movies star people old enough to be your parents & grandparents! And I’m thinking it doesn’t matter to the younger audience anyway, judging from the wide twentysomething to sixtysomething gender mix of those watching this in my cinema. They’ve managed to appeal to all ages & genders with these films, which is quite an accomplishment for action movies. I do get their appeal. They’re growing on me. I promise. I’ve upped my John Wick 1 rating (to the same as my rating for this one). If the next movie is just as good, I’ll up them all to 7.5. I promise. Let’s hope these films continue on this upward trajectory. Yeah, they might already deserve a 7.5. I may change my mind. I do that a lot. 😉

My Rating: 7.5/10

Okay, I’ve upped all my ratings to 7.5 after John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

FYI: This movie was FAR more violent than I expected based on its 15 rating in the UK. Just a warning for those with kids in the 15 age range. It was almost Tarantino-level violence. It was actually a bit much for me. (I’m a wuss). I’m a bit shocked that it’s not rated 18…

John Wick (2014) & The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Reviews

With John Wick: Chapter 2 coming out, I figured I better review the first film (which I finally watched a few months ago). So I wrote the below review. After writing it, I then watched The Neon Demon. I must say that John Wick has gone up in my estimation since seeing The Neon Demon. Every movie EVER MADE has now gone up in my estimation since seeing The Neon F*%#ing Demon!!!!! Let’s talk about these, shall we…?

John Wick (2014)

Directed by Chad Stahelski & David Leitch

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen, Adrianne Palicki, Bridget Moynahan, Dean Winters, Ian McShane, John Leguizamo, Willem Dafoe

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
An ex-hitman comes out of retirement to track down the gangsters that took everything from him.

My Opinion:

I love Keanu Reeves. And, apparently, I’m not alone. I was very surprised when a list I did last year of My Top Ten Keanu Reeves Movies was one of my most viewed & most shared posts. Yay! Everyone loves Keanu! I honestly didn’t realize he was so popular.

So I made that list having not yet seen John Wick or The Neon Demon and figured I could update it once I’ve watched them. Well, I’ve now updated the list. I can tell you that The Neon Demon sure as SHIT doesn’t make the top ten (it’s atrocious). Unfortunately, John Wick doesn’t quite manage to break into my top ten either. It’s very close! I’ve put it at 12 but it’s probably hovering around the 10, 11 or 12 range depending on my mood… So there you go – I’m sure you were all dying to know my final official ranking of Keanu Reeves films! 😉

John Wick is a really fun action film. It was what I expected in being all style over substance so that didn’t bother me at all. We all need to turn off our brains sometimes & just watch a fun action flick! I think I was just disappointed that it wasn’t as much fun or as stylish as I’d been expecting in order for it to make up for that lack of substance. It’s an okay film but comes absolutely nowhere near Keanu’s best. This is no The Matrix or Speed and it’s especially no Point Break (Point Break rules!). Damn. But, man, I loved that puppy. Cutest puppy EVER! I’m giving this movie a slightly higher rating simply because of the puppy. A BEAGLE. A SNOOPY puppy!!!!!


Wook at that wittle face!

I do know how to enjoy a fun “popcorn” movie and, no, I wasn’t expecting Oscar-quality writing or acting in John Wick. However, I needed to know the character of John Wick a little better in order to care about him & his quest for vengeance. We get some flashbacks of his wife and, of course, we meet his adorable puppy. However, we didn’t get much of his backstory. I felt like I didn’t know a thing about him by the end other than that he was sad about his dead wife (not a spoiler – she’s already dead at the beginning of the movie). I mean, he’s a (former) killer. Right? How is he any better than the many, many (many) people he proceeds to kill throughout this film? Because a cute puppy licked his face & he loved his pretty wife?

Okayyyy – I fully admit to falling asleep in the middle of this like I often do during films at home so maybe I missed something (I’m a parent. I’m exhausted). 😉 Why did he retire? For love? Or because he developed a conscience? I hope that was the reason… The only way I can describe it is this: I sometimes watch a movie and feel like I’ve jumped right into the middle of it and missed a bunch of the beginning where they’ve set up the characters & the story. I felt that way 30 minutes into John Wick despite missing absolutely nothing from the start. I almost cared more about Willem Dafoe’s character (a great character, from the very little we get to know him – I’d love to know more about his previous relationship with Wick as well). Well, maybe we’ll find out more in the sequel? As fun as it is to watch some shoot-em-up non-stop action sometimes, I still want to know a little about the main character at the very least. If I care about him, I’ll get more enjoyment from his revenge. I do love a really good revenge movie! I liked John Wick well enough to watch the sequel but it’s a “wait for it to show up on Netflix” movie for me. (Although, initial reviews of the sequel are very good so maybe I can be talked into making a trip to the cinema for it. But the sequel puppy isn’t nearly as cute…!!!)

My Rating: 7.5/10

**SPOILERS. Kind of.**

The Neon Demon (2016)

Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Starring: Elle Fanning, Karl Glusman, Jena Malone, Bella Heathcote, Abbey Lee, Christina Hendricks, Keanu Reeves

Plot Synopsis: Guy succeeds in making a decent film called Drive, which then gives him the freedom to make the biggest pile of shit I’ve seen since similar success for another writer led to the creation of the atrocious Jennifer’s Body. The Neon Demon makes Jennifer’s Body look good. 

My Opinion:

I called a movie that I reviewed last week a “load of pretentious bullshit” (the movie Comet). I now apologize profusely to that movie. I’d rather be strapped to a chair “Clockwork Orange-style” & forced to watch Comet 100 times than to ever have to even THINK about The Neon Demon again. I want to wipe this movie from my memory “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind-style“. I want to go back in time and, “Marty McFly-style”, tell myself it’s my destiny (density!) to NEVER watch The Neon Demon. I want to take a flame thrower to this movie “Ellen Ripley-style“. I want to get medieval on this movie’s ass “Marsellus Wallace- style“. I want to stick this movie’s head in a box “Gwyneth Paltrow-style“. I want to banish this movie to the cornfield “Twilight Zone-style“. I want this movie to eat itself, to puke itself up, to re-eat itself, to piss itself out, and to f*%k its own corpse “The Neon Demon-style“.

I can’t truly put into words just how much I hated The Neon Demon and its fake, derivative, shallow, pointless, pretentious aping of artistic masters such as Jodorowsky, Buñuel, Argento, von Trier, Cronenberg, Lynch, etc etc. Not everyone will be a fan of all of those I’ve named (I’m not even saying that I like them all myself) but, like their work or not, at least they did their own thing instead of making superficial & inferior copies of their influences.

I’ll give this movie an extra point for Elle Fanning, though, as I thought she did a decent job for her young age. Other than Fanning, everyone in this is now slightly ruined for me the next time I see them in other films (even Keanu, dammit). Still love him, though, so I’ll try to put this movie out of my mind. But I hope to never see Jena Malone in anything ever again so am very glad that I wasn’t a fan of hers in the first place. More than anything, I’m annoyed that this has tainted the movie Drive and especially that it has ruined Drive’s soundtrack for me, which I liked even more than the film. I’ve hated plenty of movies over the years but I don’t think there’s ever been one that I actually regretted seeing. The Neon Demon may very well be the first. In that regard, I suppose you at least have to give Nicolas Winding Refn credit for creating a film that generated some strong reactions from its’ viewers. I don’t mind movies with some shock value (of those I mentioned above, I do love a lot of Cronenberg’s work) but, to quote my husband, “The Neon Demon thinks it’s art when it’s merely just artifice”.

My Rating: 2/10

My Top Ten Keanu Reeves Movies

Happy Birthday to Keanu Reeves, who turns 52 tomorrow! 🙂

Dammit! I’ve not yet managed to watch John Wick. I really wanted to watch that before making this list since, if it’s as good as everyone seems to think it is, maybe it’ll make my top ten. Well, I’ve not had time to watch it so I guess I’ll just have to update this list when I see it. IF it’s top ten worthy… 😉 Oh, and I also desperately want to see The Neon Demon as that looks like the type of thing I could potentially love. Blame that one on cinemas not giving non-mainstream films a chance, though – I couldn’t find it playing anywhere near me. I’d have made time for that.

I’m a fan of Keanu Reeves. I think people either love him or they don’t (I don’t think anyone hates him, though, do they?). People make fun of him sometimes but I don’t understand that. He’s admittedly better in certain types of roles than others but, when it’s a role that suits him, he’s great. Yes, the dumb guy suits him & I’ll always love Ted “Theodore” Logan more than any other character he’s played. Who doesn’t love a sweet idiot?! But I had a massive crush on him in Speed & in Point Break when he was young, dumb & full of “whoaaaa”. He’s proven himself to be a fantastic popcorn action movie star & I’m always happy when he’s in a film that ends up being popular.

Sometimes when I make these actor top tens, I’m really scraping the bottom of the barrel for the lower half of the list. This time, I’d have to say I truly like at least eight of them (I could do with re-watching numbers 9 & 10). I love the top six and ADORE the top two (they’re all-time favorites). So, yeah, Keanu Reeves has had a very solid career despite some annoying critics.

So here are My Top Ten Keanu Reeves Movies, counting down to my favorite (movie, not character). Let’s start counting down from the bottom, though – I’ve seen 23…. 🙂

**Updated having now seen John Wick & The Neon Demon & John Wick 2. Ugh – The Neon Demon most definitely doesn’t make it into the top ten!

25. The Neon Demon
24 & 23. The Matrix Sequels (Whatever they were called – I’ve tried to forget them)
22. Johnny Mnemonic (Remember nothing about this now. How ironic!)
21. Chain Reaction
20. Something’s Gotta Give
19. The Gift
18. Much Ado About Nothing (Barely remember this either – am sure it deserves to be higher)
17. Parenthood
16. The Day The Earth Stood Still
15. Constantine
14. Bram Stoker’s Dracula
13. The Devil’s Advocate
12. My Own Private Idaho (Putting this at 12 is a total lie as I seriously need to re-watch it since I loved River Phoenix but, again, barely remember it…) 😉
11. A Scanner Darkly

My Top Ten:

10. River’s Edge

9. John Wick & John Wick 2

8. The Lake House

7. Youngblood

6. Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey

5. Dangerous Liaisons

4. The Matrix (not the sequels!)

3. Speed

2. Point Break

1. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure