I noticed that Madonna will be turning 58 next week on August 16th so I thought it would be fun to rank my favorite Madonna songs.
This was harder than I expected! She has so many songs, including ones I’d forgotten about. It took ages to go through a list of her songs, album by album. I definitely like her oldest stuff the best, which makes sense as those are the songs I grew up with in the Eighties. But I did also really like her Ray Of Light album in 1998. It was nice that she had a great comeback with Ray Of Light after her previous couple of albums, which I can’t say I personally liked very much.
Madonna has never been an absolute favorite artist of mine (give me classic rock & metal) but her songs were a big part of my pre & early teens and there’s no denying the fact that she’s a huge superstar. So here are My Top Ten Madonna Songs, counting down to my favorite (except, screw it – there are too many so I’ve made it a Top 20): 😉
20. Beautiful Stranger 19. Vogue 18. Express Yourself 17. Hung Up 16. Music 15. Dress You Up 14. Holiday 13. Ray Of Light 12. The Power Of Good-Bye 11. Like A Virgin
10. Live To Tell 9. Open Your Heart 8. Lucky Star 7. Frozen 6. Papa Don’t Preach 5. Crazy For You 4. Like A Prayer 3. Material Girl 2. Borderline 1. Into The Groove
I think everyone knows that most songs are either about sex or drugs, right? I usually pick up on the sex ones but never the drug ones (I was shocked that Golden Brown by The Stranglers was about heroin! I’m so naïve).
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about doing this list for a while but there are so many dirty songs that it took me ages to put this together. I’ll have missed plenty! This time, I needed some help online. I did manage to verify that most of these are indeed about sex (Dave Grohl – you naughty boy! He’s a big fan of doing what his is about, apparently). But some are my own interpretation (or dirty mind, maybe). I’m happy to hear from anyone who disagrees with any of these! I looked at a lot of different websites for these dirty songs but the site I probably looked at the most was songfacts.com.
For the most part, I’ve tried to choose ones that are slightly more “subtle”. I think the subtle ones are so much better than the really blatant songs about sex (rap is so blatant!). I especially like my number one – it’s subtle yet also so obvious if you give it the slightest bit of thought. I was just too young to give it much thought at the time it came out! Filthy.
I’ve decided to eliminate certain artists who seem to sing about sex in the majority of their songs. Filthy bastards! And most are really blatant anyway. So I’m leaving out songs by Aerosmith, Prince, Kiss, AC/DC, Van Halen, Mötley Crüe, and The Rolling Stones. Oh, and Led Zeppelin– all their songs are either about sex or Hobbits. And as there are so many, I’ll count down from 20 once again. Yeah, but I’ll still call it a Top Ten to be annoying. 😉
So here are My Top Ten Songs That Are Actually About Sex (counting down from 20):
20. Lady Gaga – The Edge of Glory What It’s About: Orgasm Lyrics: I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge. I’m on the edge of glory, and I’m hangin’ on a moment with you. I’m on the edge with you.
19. Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go What It’s About: Sex (not having to masturbate) Lyrics: Wake me up before you go go. ‘Cause I’m not plannin’ on going solo. Wake me up before you go go. Take me dancing tonight. I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah.
18. Madness – House Of Fun What It’s About: Buying condoms for the first time Lyrics: Good morning Miss. Can I help you son? Sixteen today, and up for fun. I’m a big boy now, or so they say. So if you’ll serve, I’ll be on my way. (Thanks to the conversation on my review HERE). 😉
17. Loverboy – Lovin’ Every Minute Of It What It’s About: A Vibrator Lyrics: I’m not man or machine, I’m just something in between.
16. Dan Hartman – I Can Dream About You What It’s About: Masturbation Lyrics: I can dream about you. If I can’t hold you tonight. I can dream about you. You know how to hold me just right.
15. Grace Jones – Pull Up To The Bumper What It’s About: Sex Lyrics: Pull up to my bumper baby, in your long black limousine. Pull up to my bumper baby, and drive it in between.
14. Bryan Adams – Summer Of ’69 What It’s About: Sexual awakening and, literally, “69” Lyrics: It was the summer of ’69, oh, yeah. Me and my baby in ’69, oh.
13. The Beatles – Ticket To Ride What It’s About: German hookers (the medical card German hookers had to prove they had no diseases was called a “ticket to ride”) Lyrics: She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. But she don’t care.
12. Bloc Party – Banquet What It’s About: Oral Sex Lyrics: She’s got such a dirty mind and it never ever stops. And you don’t taste like her and you never ever will.
11. Duran Duran – Save A Prayer What It’s About: A one night stand Lyrics: Some people call it a one night stand but we can call it paradise.
10. Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died In Your Arms What It’s About: Orgasm (as in the Shakespearian meaning – no actual dirty lyrics. Nice job!) Lyrics: Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight.
9. Melanie – Brand New Key What It’s About: Sex Lyrics: Well I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key. I think that we should get together and try them out you see.
8. Madonna – Like A Prayer What It’s About: Sex Lyrics: When you call my name it’s like a little prayer. I’m down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there.
7. The Vapors – Turning Japanese What It’s About: Masturbation Lyrics:
I’ve got your picture, I’ve got your picture. I’d like a million of them all round my cell. I want the doctor to take your picture. So I can look at you from inside as well.
6. Violent Femmes – Blister In The Sun What It’s About: Masturbation. Although the Violent Femmes deny this. Lyrics: Let me go on… like I blister in the sun. Let me go on… big hands, I know you’re the one.
5. Foo Fighters – All My Life What It’s About: Oral sex Lyrics: Hey don’t let it go to waste, I love it but I hate the taste.
4. Faith No More – Epic What It’s About: Masturbation Lyrics: It’s dark, it’s moist, it’s a bitter pain. It’s sad it happened and it’s a shame.
3. The Cure – Close To Me What It’s About: Masturbation. Or Sex. Who knows for sure – it’s Robert Smith! Lyrics: Just try to see in the dark, just try to make it work. To feel the fear before you’re here.
2. Billy Idol/Generation X – Dancing With Myself What It’s About: Masturbation Lyrics: When there’s no-one else in sight, in the crowded lonely night. Well I wait so long, for my love vibration. And I’m dancing with myself.
1. Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer What It’s About: Sex Lyrics: Open up your fruitcage, where the fruit is as sweet as can be.
I’ll talk more about Sledgehammer for tomorrow’s Music Video Friday. This is the kind of filth that I like – clever innuendo that kids wouldn’t pick up on. Plus I love Peter Gabriel. 🙂
Okay – there are way too many dirty songs. Here are some more & what they seem to be about:
Hozier – Take Me To Church (Sex)
Kelis – Milkshake (Shaking her boobies)
Missy Elliot – Work It (Sex)
Fleetwood Mac – Tusk (Mick Fleetwood’s penis)
Nirvana – Heart-Shaped Box (Uterus)
Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me (Sex)
The Pointer Sisters – Slow Hand (Sex)
ZZ Top – Pearl Necklace (Orgasm)
Whitesnake – Here I Go Again (Masturbation)
Cyndi Lauper – She Bop (Masturbation)
Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah (Orgasm)
And, okay – here are just a few of the thousands of blatant ones:
Sheena Easton – Sugar Walls (Vagina)
Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax (Sex)
Ted Nugent – Cat Scratch Fever (Sex) (Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand…)
Nina Simone – I Need A Little Sugar In My Bowl (Sex)
Azealia Banks – 212 (Oral Sex, possibly in a 3 way)
Salt-N-Pepa – Shoop (Sex) (I’ll forever think of Deadpool now)
Warrant – Cherry Pie (Sex)
Finally, I’ll end with the video for a f*^ked-up song that I’ve found bizarrely fascinating since the first time I heard it & which still pops into my head when making sandwiches. It’s clearly not about making sandwiches…