I think everyone knows that most songs are either about sex or drugs, right? I usually pick up on the sex ones but never the drug ones (I was shocked that Golden Brown by The Stranglers was about heroin! I’m so naïve).
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about doing this list for a while but there are so many dirty songs that it took me ages to put this together. I’ll have missed plenty! This time, I needed some help online. I did manage to verify that most of these are indeed about sex (Dave Grohl – you naughty boy! He’s a big fan of doing what his is about, apparently). But some are my own interpretation (or dirty mind, maybe). I’m happy to hear from anyone who disagrees with any of these! I looked at a lot of different websites for these dirty songs but the site I probably looked at the most was songfacts.com.
For the most part, I’ve tried to choose ones that are slightly more “subtle”. I think the subtle ones are so much better than the really blatant songs about sex (rap is so blatant!). I especially like my number one – it’s subtle yet also so obvious if you give it the slightest bit of thought. I was just too young to give it much thought at the time it came out! Filthy.
I’ve decided to eliminate certain artists who seem to sing about sex in the majority of their songs. Filthy bastards! And most are really blatant anyway. So I’m leaving out songs by Aerosmith, Prince, Kiss, AC/DC, Van Halen, Mötley Crüe, and The Rolling Stones. Oh, and Led Zeppelin– all their songs are either about sex or Hobbits. And as there are so many, I’ll count down from 20 once again. Yeah, but I’ll still call it a Top Ten to be annoying. 😉
So here are My Top Ten Songs That Are Actually About Sex (counting down from 20):
Top Twenty:
20. Lady Gaga – The Edge of Glory
What It’s About: Orgasm
Lyrics: I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge. I’m on the edge of glory, and I’m hangin’ on a moment with you. I’m on the edge with you.
19. Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
What It’s About: Sex (not having to masturbate)
Lyrics: Wake me up before you go go. ‘Cause I’m not plannin’ on going solo. Wake me up before you go go. Take me dancing tonight. I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah.
18. Madness – House Of Fun
What It’s About: Buying condoms for the first time
Lyrics: Good morning Miss. Can I help you son? Sixteen today, and up for fun. I’m a big boy now, or so they say. So if you’ll serve, I’ll be on my way. (Thanks to the conversation on my review HERE). 😉
17. Loverboy – Lovin’ Every Minute Of It
What It’s About: A Vibrator
Lyrics: I’m not man or machine, I’m just something in between.
16. Dan Hartman – I Can Dream About You
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: I can dream about you. If I can’t hold you tonight. I can dream about you. You know how to hold me just right.
15. Grace Jones – Pull Up To The Bumper
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Pull up to my bumper baby, in your long black limousine. Pull up to my bumper baby, and drive it in between.
14. Bryan Adams – Summer Of ’69
What It’s About: Sexual awakening and, literally, “69”
Lyrics: It was the summer of ’69, oh, yeah. Me and my baby in ’69, oh.
13. The Beatles – Ticket To Ride
What It’s About: German hookers (the medical card German hookers had to prove they had no diseases was called a “ticket to ride”)
Lyrics: She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. But she don’t care.
12. Bloc Party – Banquet
What It’s About: Oral Sex
Lyrics: She’s got such a dirty mind and it never ever stops. And you don’t taste like her and you never ever will.
11. Duran Duran – Save A Prayer
What It’s About: A one night stand
Lyrics: Some people call it a one night stand but we can call it paradise.
Top Ten:
10. Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died In Your Arms
What It’s About: Orgasm (as in the Shakespearian meaning – no actual dirty lyrics. Nice job!)
Lyrics: Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight.
9. Melanie – Brand New Key
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Well I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key. I think that we should get together and try them out you see.
8. Madonna – Like A Prayer
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: When you call my name it’s like a little prayer. I’m down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there.
7. The Vapors – Turning Japanese
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics:
I’ve got your picture, I’ve got your picture. I’d like a million of them all round my cell. I want the doctor to take your picture. So I can look at you from inside as well.
6. Violent Femmes – Blister In The Sun
What It’s About: Masturbation. Although the Violent Femmes deny this.
Lyrics: Let me go on… like I blister in the sun. Let me go on… big hands, I know you’re the one.
5. Foo Fighters – All My Life
What It’s About: Oral sex
Lyrics: Hey don’t let it go to waste, I love it but I hate the taste.
4. Faith No More – Epic
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: It’s dark, it’s moist, it’s a bitter pain. It’s sad it happened and it’s a shame.
3. The Cure – Close To Me
What It’s About: Masturbation. Or Sex. Who knows for sure – it’s Robert Smith!
Lyrics: Just try to see in the dark, just try to make it work. To feel the fear before you’re here.
2. Billy Idol/Generation X – Dancing With Myself
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: When there’s no-one else in sight, in the crowded lonely night. Well I wait so long, for my love vibration. And I’m dancing with myself.
1. Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Open up your fruitcage, where the fruit is as sweet as can be.
I’ll talk more about Sledgehammer for tomorrow’s Music Video Friday. This is the kind of filth that I like – clever innuendo that kids wouldn’t pick up on. Plus I love Peter Gabriel. 🙂
Okay – there are way too many dirty songs. Here are some more & what they seem to be about:
Hozier – Take Me To Church (Sex)
Kelis – Milkshake (Shaking her boobies)
Missy Elliot – Work It (Sex)
Fleetwood Mac – Tusk (Mick Fleetwood’s penis)
Nirvana – Heart-Shaped Box (Uterus)
Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me (Sex)
The Pointer Sisters – Slow Hand (Sex)
ZZ Top – Pearl Necklace (Orgasm)
Whitesnake – Here I Go Again (Masturbation)
Cyndi Lauper – She Bop (Masturbation)
Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah (Orgasm)
And, okay – here are just a few of the thousands of blatant ones:
Sheena Easton – Sugar Walls (Vagina)
Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax (Sex)
Ted Nugent – Cat Scratch Fever (Sex) (Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand…)
Nina Simone – I Need A Little Sugar In My Bowl (Sex)
Azealia Banks – 212 (Oral Sex, possibly in a 3 way)
Salt-N-Pepa – Shoop (Sex) (I’ll forever think of Deadpool now)
Warrant – Cherry Pie (Sex)
Finally, I’ll end with the video for a f*^ked-up song that I’ve found bizarrely fascinating since the first time I heard it & which still pops into my head when making sandwiches. It’s clearly not about making sandwiches…
Detroit Grand Pubahs – Sandwiches
Cinema Parrot Disco 