Watched, Read, Reviewed: March 2023

Happy April! Here’s what I watched in March. I managed to post reviews of all the movies already, so I’ve included the links to the full reviews. How fucking organised am I?! 🙂

MOVIES WATCHED IN MARCH (ranked best to worst):

– Elvis – Really enjoyed this despite it being a very flawed film. Austin Butler was fantastic (sad he didn’t win the Oscar), Tom Hanks was terrible, and I’m not an Elvis fan but it gave me more of an appreciation of him & how he was taken advantage of. – 7.5/10

– Fall – This was so dumb and so cheesy and so predictable and I enjoyed it so much more than the vast majority of films I’ve watched in the past year. It was exactly what I was expecting & wanting and you can guarantee I’ll watch the sequel just announced. Kind of loved it. – 7.5/10

– Where The Crawdads Sing – How is Marsh Girl less socially awkward than I am?! She’s also far too pretty & miraculously smart & of course learns how to read in a heartwarming montage & accomplishes far more in life than most of us ever will. But I liked her and I liked the nice boyfriend & the couple from the town who helped her and I liked the story & ending. One of the better films I’ve seen so far this year. – 7.5/10

– A Hard Day’s Night – I’m a huge music fan & absolutely love The Beatles. This was a lot of fun. I loved how much goofy fun John Lennon was having and Ringo Starr’s storyline was the best and his so-bad-it’s-good acting ended up being one of my favorite things about this. I want to watch everything else they did now. They seemed to be having a blast making this. – 7.5/10

– Cocaine Bear – I thoroughly enjoyed this. But it wasn’t good. I absolutely love horror comedy & this was unfortunately very weak in comparison to the really great movies we’ve had in this genre. It could’ve used a lot more comedy & stronger characters. But, dammit, I still got plenty of enjoyment out of seeing a bear high on cocaine. – 7/10

– Scream VI – I’d say this reboot (or requel if I must use that stupid word) has worked quite well for me and I think Scream 5 was a good introduction of the Scream series to a new generation of younger fans. At first, I was maybe enjoying this one a little more than number 5 and I liked the city setting (which they could have done SO much more with) but this one fell apart for me at the end. Overall, I think 5 was a stronger film but they’re both a good start to some new Scream films & I look forward to another. – 7/10

– Boston Strangler – Thought this was a bit too good for straight-to-streaming. I liked this far more than I was expecting despite it being the “murder” genre I don’t like. It may be because it didn’t dwell or linger too much on the murders and wasn’t too graphic. It was more from the viewpoint of these two female reporters trying to cover this story & of course encountering difficulties being women in that profession back in the 1960s. I liked that approach & liked this more than some films in this genre that feel far too exploitative when it comes to true crime with real victims. – 7/10

– Marcel The Shell With Shoes On – This was sweet & wholesome. Was expecting to love it but thought it was just okay. Of the Animated Oscar nominees this year, Pinocchio was definitely the best so I’m glad it won. – 7/10

– To Leslie – Am a bit baffled by the huge amount of celebrity praise for this as it’s a quite average “addiction movie” that we’ve seen many times. Think Andrea Riseborough was worthy of her Oscar nomination, though, as she did give a really good performance. She was especially good in the second half of the movie. Worth checking out for Riseborough and for the second half of the film, which ended up winning me over with a strong ending. – 7/10

– Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania – Enjoyed this but can see why plenty of people didn’t. I don’t mind the more “out there” & slightly weird MCU films but am assuming this one was just too weird for the more mainstream Marvel crowd. It’s a bit dumb but it’s saved by Paul Rudd being likeable as Ant-Man (as always) and Michelle Pfeiffer having a large role and being awesome (as always). She was great in this & my favorite thing about the film. I had some fun with it but it’s still feeling like they should’ve stopped after Endgame. – 6.5/10

– The Black Phone – Was desperate to see this as I’m a big fan of Joe Hill. Was disappointed with this film. While there were some things I really appreciated, such as the great performances from the two main child stars (Mason Thames & Madeleine McGraw) & Ethan Hawke’s creepy performance & masks, the film was just too slow & quite dull considering I thought it was a simple yet brilliant story. As I like the story & was impressed by the performances it was still worth the watch. – 6.5/10

– Black Panther: Wakanda Forever – I’ll just say that this movie starts out okay & I think the characters are very strong but I lost interest in the middle and the whole thing was just a bit messy. I’m just getting bored with these average MCU films. – 6.5/10

– Bodies Bodies Bodies – I did hate this & the extremely annoying characters at first but it kind of grew on me as the death toll mounted and I did really like how it ended. But these assholes were still just far too annoying. There’s not a chance in hell that I’d ever sit through this movie a second time. Entertaining enough for a one-off watch, though, and as I said I appreciated its ending. And I did think Maria Bakalova was pretty good. I’ve just come to the conclusion that I’m finally too old for this shit. – 6/10

– Triangle Of Sadness – I now have a least favorite Best Picture nominee out of the six I’ve seen for this year. EEAAO was my previous least favorite so I’m feeling very out of touch as I can’t quite figure out what people saw in these. What am I missing? The rich people puke & shit all over the place and I didn’t really see what point the movie was trying to make. That rich people suck?! Like, duh. No shit. Whatever – I reviewed it in full at the link – 5.5/10

– Come True – I love a good obscure sci-fi film with an interesting concept so this sounded right up my alley. Soon realised that the “slow burn” mentioned in so many reviews was due to nothing happening until the very end. Which can be okay sometimes if that ending is amazing but this one was a let down. But I appreciate that films like this get made and I think this one shows some promise. Am sure it has some fans even though it didn’t really work for me. – 5.5/10

Movies Rewatched In March:

– Ghost – Had the urge to rewatch this one as I liked it a lot when it came out in high school & I have fond memories of seeing it on a double date. I think it holds up well & that Whoopi Goldberg is just fantastic in it. Still like the story in this movie a lot, the romance is good if you like that kind of thing, the baddie is oh so hateful, and Whoopi adds perfect comedic relief. They just don’t make such all-around entertaining films like this anymore. – 8/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS IN MARCH

Watched quite a few TV shows but doing horribly on reading books this year…

TV SHOWS WATCHED

– The Mandalorian: S3 E1-5 – The Grogu Show is back!!!! I don’t feel like reviewing this yet. Maybe when the series is fully finished. But, seriously, I only truly care about Grogu in all honesty. I love that adorable little dude with all my heart. Grogu trying to cuddle that Babu Frik species dude almost made my heart explode.

– The Last Of Us: S1 E8-9 – Enjoyed this show, despite it being a bit too The Walking Dead at times. Looking forward to the next one but, apparently, it’s going to be very different? So who knows. I know nothing whatsoever about the game. Gonna be hard to avoid spoilers before the next one comes out in however many years.

– South Park: S26 E1-6 – Not sure why we’ve missed a lot of South Park in recent years as we always enjoy it. Tend to watch an episode when we hear about a specific one that interests us. In this case it was The Worldwide Privacy Tour, which was great. Also thought the ChatGPT episode Deep Learning was pretty brilliant. Enjoying watching this show regularly again.

– Schitt’s Creek: S1 E1-11 – Wanted another half hour sitcom to replace my beloved new discovery of Community last year (which we still rewatch). This isn’t laugh-out-loud funny like Community & not one I’d ever rewatch in the same way & have favorite specific episodes of etc etc. But it’s an enjoyable enough watch and the characters are really growing on me. Almost done with season 1 already. It’s kind of a “leave it on in the background or while eating supper” show. Which sounds insulting but isn’t meant to be…

– Square Pegs: S1 E1 – Decided to rewatch another ’80s TV show pilot on YouTube. Been enjoying that as don’t see American TV reruns here (except for Friends & The Simpsons – holy shit, they’re always on). This was SO fucking ’80s. Valley girl speak, young Sarah Jessica Parker, pre-Lost Boys Jamie Gertz, and a performance from The Waitresses (they did the theme song too). Not a good show but still a fun bit of nostalgia.

– Bill Bailey: Larks In Transit – Loved this! Happy the hubby & I found this on services when looking for something to watch as we’ve always enjoyed Bailey’s wacky sense of humor & had a lot of fun going to one of his shows. For some reason I’ve never liked many comedians & don’t watch a lot of stand-up but Bailey always absolutely cracks me up. Such a brilliant musician and smart as hell as well. And hilariously nuts. Can see him not being for everyone, though. I’d maybe recommend him to you, Film Miasma. Not sure! But we both like Community… 🙂 Looks like this whole show is on YouTube here (but don’t know if it’ll play outside the U.K.)

BOOKS READ

I’m halfway through reading Watership Down by Richard Adams. Good but, man, that’s one long book about bunnies! So I’m taking a break & reading something lightweight now (from a new favorite author – C.J. Tudor) then will go back to the bunnies.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Maybe I’ll post some individual reviews again after putting them on Letterboxd. If I have the energy. Which is unlikely in my old age.

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

I see that Nope, Resurrection & Piggy are all coming to one of my services end of April so I’m excited about that. And hoping to go see John Wick 4.

I normally end on some music from a movie I watched but I might as well post Bill Bailey’s Larks In Transit here as well while it’s still available. It’s full of great music anyway. Especially love his heavy metal while walking around his house… 🙂

Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania (2023) Review

Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

Directed by Peyton Reed

Based on Marvel Comics

Starring: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Jonathan Majors, Kathryn Newton, David Dastmalchian, Katy O’Brian, William Jackson Harper, Bill Murray, Michelle Pfeiffer, Corey Stoll, Michael Douglas

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
In the film, Lang and Van Dyne are transported to the Quantum Realm along with their family and face Kang the Conqueror.

My Opinion:

Enjoyed this but can see why plenty of people didn’t. As I always say in these reviews, I watch all the MCU films but I’m certainly not a massive fan & it’s starting to feel like an obligation to watch them now (because why stop at this point?!). I think the MCU characters are strong but the same old story over & over gets tiresome. So this is probably why I like the Guardians Of The Galaxy films the most as they at least feel a little different plus I like my superhero movies to be more lighthearted. I also don’t mind the more “out there” & slightly weird ones but am assuming this one was just a bit too weird for the more mainstream Marvel crowd. Because it’s pretty damn weird. But I like weird. Except for MODOK… That was terrible and looked dumb as Hell. Preferred Broccoli Head! And Holes dude. 

Anyway. This one is a bit dumb but it’s saved by Paul Rudd being likeable as Ant-Man (as always) and Michelle Pfeiffer having a large role and being awesome (as always). She was great in this & my favorite thing about the film. Sadly found Kang a bit weak as the big super villain but maybe that’s just me – I never give much of a shit about the baddies because they’re all the same & are always defeated in the end anyway.

I feel bad as I really did want to like Black Panther: Wakanda Forever which I watched just after this but that ended up being a disappointment overall. While I certainly think it’s *better* than this one, I had much more fun with Quantumania so have ranked it higher on my ranked MCU list. Both are still quite low on that list, though. These movies need to get better. At this point, it’s still feeling like they should’ve stopped after Endgame. 

This wasn’t much of a review but I never know what to say when it comes to these Marvel films. Basically, Quantumania = Meh. But I loved Michelle Pfeiffer & Paul Rudd & counting his number of holes.

My Rating: 6.5/10

Watched, Read, Reviewed: October 2021

I spent October posting (well, mostly re-posting) nothing but horror movie reviews. It’s fun but I always like getting back to reviewing every type of movie. Here’s everything I watched in October, including all the non-horror stuff…

MOVIES WATCHED IN OCTOBER (ranked best to worst):

– Dune – Reviewed this in full at the link. Liked it a lot. Love Denis Villeneuve’s work & enjoyed reading Dune last year during lockdown so was really looking forward to the adaptation. It looked great and (most of) the cast were perfect. Especially loved Rebecca Ferguson as my favorite character Lady Jessica. I now have a new favorite 2021 film release. – 8.5/10

– Dracula (1931) – I did a bunch of “my favorite horror movies” lists in October & one was My Top Ten Pre-1970 Horror Movies. I’d commented that it was shameful I’d seen so few to be able to make that list and had seen none of the classic “monster” movies such as this one. So I was very happy when the Horror Channel in the U.K. showed a bunch of them over Halloween weekend. I haven’t yet updated that list with these but I did do a quick post HERE with a very short review of each. Dracula was my favorite. They’re all so iconic & I’m glad I finally saw them. – 8/10

– Frankenstein (1931) – I forced myself to read this book during lockdown as I must admit I don’t read enough classics. I love the overall story. It’s damn good. So I was expecting to like this movie the most but I think I ended up a bit disappointed as I didn’t realize how different it was from the book! I was just kind of sad as I didn’t feel this movie captured the creature’s complex feelings & turned him into more of a monster while the flawed Victor Frankenstein character is hardly explored at all. But, hey – it’s still a horror classic & gave us the iconic “Frankenstein’s monster” look we now all associate with the character. – 7.5/10

– Bride Of Frankenstein (1935) – This was a bit of an odd one to me but I really liked that, combined with the first movie, we get a little more of the story from the book. And I liked that Elsa Lanchester plays Mary Shelley, starting to tell more of her Frankenstein story, as well as The Bride in the title of the film. Again, it was great seeing The Bride & her also now truly iconic horror look. Love that crazy hairdo! – 7/10

– The Wolf Man (1941) – Enjoyed this one as well, although I don’t really know what to say about this or The Invisible Man as I knew the least about these stories (but of course know the werewolf legend). Yeah, I like werewolves almost as much as vampires when it comes to classic Halloween monsters so of course enjoyed this very straightforward werewolf story. – 7/10

– The Invisible Man (1933) – I know the least about this story and, no, I’ve not read the H. G. Wells book. I enjoyed this but liked it a bit less than the more “classic monster” movies I watched Halloween weekend. I loved the special effects, though. I thought they were damn good for 1933! It was fun watching all of these & I’m happy I finally saw them. Thanks, Horror Channel! – 7/10

– Black Widow – This was fine. I’ve said many times that I have “superhero burnout”. I do enjoy the Marvel movies and I’ve watched them all (and ranked them HERE of course since I’m obsessed with lists). I’ve put this one at 14 for now but think I was maybe being too generous as I liked getting another Marvel movie with a female lead and it’s about time that Black Widow got her own movie. But I might move it down a bit because, damn, I wish it had been a little better. It’s certainly not awful & I did enjoy watching it but, meh…

I liked the characters, though. I think it was the story that didn’t work so well. Scarlett Johansson was good as always and I did really like Florence Pugh even though I don’t get the obsession that younger people have with her like she’s the best actress EVER or something – she’s okay? I also really liked David Harbour & Rachel Weisz and their crazy little “family” but think the hubby wasn’t so happy with what they did with Harbour’s character. Or something. I dunno – I know nothing about the comics & these characters outside of the movies but I think that helps me to just enjoy the films since I don’t have to worry about how they adapt the characters.

This movie also did the exact same OTT action-filled ending as every single other Marvel film and seeing that same formula over & over again is getting boring. Man, I hate reviewing Marvel movies as I say the same things over & over again since it feels like I’m watching the same movie over & over again. They’re fun & I watch them as I do enjoy them while they’re on but I don’t tend to revisit them. I’m glad Black Widow got her own movie. I liked the characters & their fucked-up little “family”. The overall story was a bit dumb. Hoping Shang-Chi will be better? Think that’s coming to Disney Plus this week. I want to see something a little different. – 7/10

– Tenet – First of all, I better say that I’m not a Christopher Nolan fan. As with Florence Pugh, I also don’t get the obsession with Nolan & people thinking he’s one of the best directors ever or something. He’s okay? I did love The Prestige, kind of hated Interstellar, and felt meh about most of the rest. Okay, The Dark Knight was decent too but, as with all his movies, it’s rated far too highly.

I unfortunately feel kind of the same about Tenet as I did Interstellar. I liked the idea behind the story but thought the execution was a complete mess by the end. I feel like Nolan tries too hard to make a story more confusing than it needs to be so that diehard fans can go “You just don’t get it” whenever anyone doesn’t worship a Nolan film & points out that it’s not as great as they think it is. John David Washington was fine as was Robert Pattinson. They did what they could with this story. I liked the story involving Elizabeth Debicki & her complete dick of a husband, although her character made some shitty decisions and, honestly, could’ve fucked up a very important mission.

I don’t know. I didn’t hate the movie. I thought the overall story was fine & enjoyed seeing things played out in reverse. But I also think the execution of the story was a bit of a mess. Again. Now thinking I should rewatch Memento again as I did like that at the time but don’t remember it being so messy? It seems like Nolan’s movies are getting worse over time. – 6.5/10

– Class Of 1984 – This was kind of a weird one. I kind of liked it. I think. I watched Class Of 1999 (from 1989) several years ago and, man, that was pretty cheesy. That was about a school with a bunch of unruly delinquent students so secret robot teachers are hired to keep them in line. The Class Of 1984 school certainly could’ve used some killer robot teachers! It’s about a new teacher (Perry King) who starts at a school that is being terrorised by some truly evil students. When he stands up to them, they begin terrorising him as well. It’s one of those “based on true events!” movies where I’m thinking that’s bullshit as, yeah, some teenagers could be horrible but I don’t think they were this bad in 1984. I grew up in the ’80s – we were pretty nice!

I liked Roddy McDowall as a fellow teacher who gets pushed over the edge & it was fun seeing a very young Michael J. Fox from before he was famous (he’s a nice student, of course – not one of the bad ones). This movie goes very over-the-top at the end, though. I liked all of that sweet revenge but could’ve done without the long & drawn out rape scene. I know they needed to make us really hate these evil fuckers but I think anyone watching the movie hated them enough before that. The movie was more “extreme” than I was expecting. Not so much in showing actual gore & blood, which was mild, but the baddies truly were evil & violent people. Am assuming it was controversial at the time. I think it could’ve been much better. It kind of feels like a movie that thought it was tackling an important topic but the end was too over the top to take seriously. Enjoyed the revenge, though. – 6.5/10

– The Night House – I reviewed this separately since it’s one of the few horror movies I actually watched in October. It was fine. Could’ve been better but I was very happy to be able to watch a new horror on Disney Plus. Had some good eerie bits, at least, and supernatural horror is always my favorite type. – 6/10

– Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit – I’ve never paid much attention to Wallace & Gromit. Not sure why. I’ve liked what I’ve seen, though. Halloween seemed like a good time to finally watch this one for my Best Picture Project. The focus of that is to of course watch all the Best Picture winners but I’d like to watch some of the foreign language winners as well. And I then noticed I’d seen all of the Best Animated Features except for two: this & Rango, which I’ve also now watched. Woohoo! I’ve seen all the winners in that category now! My life is complete!

Anyway. This was cute & funny & I’m sure Wallace & Gromit fans like it. I enjoyed it. I’ll be honest, though, neither this nor Rango were as good as the Pixar & Disney films that tend to always win so it’s obvious they weren’t up against those. Rango didn’t have much competition but, wow, I disagree with Wallace & Gromit winning over Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride & especially over Hayao Miyazaki’s Studio Ghibli film Howl’s Moving Castle!! What?!? Well, that’s the Academy for you I guess. – 6.5/10

– First Love – I was mostly interested in checking this out as it’s a Takashi Miike movie and his Audition film was certainly interesting. I believe a lot of his stuff is extreme so I was interested in this one as it was meant to be less crazy. But I found it a bit boring. I liked the young boxer & the girl he helps plus there were some fun, quirky characters including one pissed off chick who was amusing. But I was mostly bored & sad it didn’t live up to its really cool movie poster. Here’s the short Wikipedia synopsis (the poster is also at the link): “It tells the story of a boxer and a call girl who become unwittingly involved in a drug-smuggling scheme.” – 6/10

– Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers – I watched the “Loomis timeline” first 6 Halloween movies in October & reviewed them all in a post on Halloween (at the link) so no need to say much here as well. I’ll just say this: the first Halloween, as expected, is far superior to the sequels. The rest are below as I rewatched them but this & number 6 were first time watches for me. They aren’t great! I still far prefer the Elm Street movies. – 5.5/10

– Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers – This was the worst of these Michael Myers sequels but I’ve given it an extra half a point since adorable young Paul Rudd is in it (looking exactly the same as he does now). – 5.5/10

– Terror Train – Since I was watching all the Halloween movies, it made sense to also check out this 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis slasher I’d somehow never heard of. I’ve reviewed it in full as well so I’ll just say it wasn’t great but seemed to have a pretty good budget for the time & I liked the train setting. It was like a slightly shit version of an Agatha Christie story. I don’t know why I’ve put it underneath Halloween 5 & 6 as it’s actually better than those… But they of course have the “Michael Myers/Halloween” franchise thing going for them I guess and I’m more likely to remember those than this somewhat forgettable horror. – 6/10

Movies Rewatched In October:

– Halloween (1978) – This is obviously an all-time slasher classic from the great John Carpenter. And I adore his score, as I do in his other movies. The Halloween theme is absolutely brilliant and I’m convinced it’s what has actually made this such a popular franchise. I can’t imagine this movie without the music. – 8/10

– The Rocky Horror Picture Show – This is one of those movies where I want to give it a higher rating as I love a few of the songs (especially Time Warp) and it’s SO iconic & it’s fun & Tim Curry is truly awesome. But, man, the final half hour or so of this thing has always been pretty sucky. Sorry! But I realize that’s kind of the point as it’s meant to be like a cheesy ’50s B movie. Should I up my rating?? I really should… It’s a classic. I’ll think about it! For now, I’ll leave it with this: – 7.5/10 (Re-watching this has made me further appreciate Phantom Of The Paradise too – both deserve their cult status)

– Us – Appreciated this a bit more on rewatching it. It’s flawed but I really like the story & stand by my opinion that it’s much better than Get Out. – 7.5/10

– Logan – I also stand by my opinion that I prefer the X-Men movies (bad as most of them unfortunately are) to the MCU movies. I just prefer the characters. Will be fun, though, if (when??) they bring them together? I don’t love Logan but it’s very good and certainly the best of the Wolverine films. – 7.5/10

– Halloween II (1981) – The least sucky of the Halloween sequels since at least Jamie Lee Curtis/Laurie Strode is actually in the damn thing. – 6.5/10

– Fun Size – This is a fun “teen” Halloween movie. Actually has some pretty raunchy jokes in it for a Nickelodeon movie! The best thing about it is the weird little brother – he’s funny. – 6.5/10

– Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers – At least this one is better than 5 & 6? Think it could grow on me as I like the character of Jamie Lloyd & liked the ending. – 6/10

– Halloween III: Season Of The Witch – Oh man, I wanted to love this as I vaguely remembered liking the jingle from it when I saw it as a teen. But it’s really not good. However, I do wish they’d continued with this idea of having Halloween be a series of unrelated stories as I love horror anthologies. The story in this was also a pretty good idea. I just wish the movie itself was much better. – 5/10

TV Shorts & Miscellaneous:

– Lego Star Wars Terrifying Tales – These are always fun and it was a nice surprise when (slight spoiler!) they spoofed a “horror” favorite of mine: The Lost Boys. Wasn’t expecting that! Don’t think the kids watching are going to get those references, though.

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

TV SHOWS WATCHED

– Midnight Mass: S1 E2-7 – I like Mike Flanagan. I think I’ve watched every single movie of his, most of which I’ve really liked. But I have yet to really love something of his. Doctor Sleep & Gerald’s Game were my favorites, but is that thanks to the Stephen King thing since I’m such a big King fan? And I have to say that Midnight Mass feels very VERY much like a King story, such as Salem’s Lot (a favorite book), which is probably why I thought this was a pretty great show.

I tried to watch another Flanagan show but gave up after a couple of episodes as it was just too damn slow. No, I’m not someone with a short attention span but I also don’t really want to spend hours & hours watching a TV show. Think it’s why I just prefer movies. A good movie can do just as well with character development in less time as long as they do it right. So, Midnight Mass started the same way as most Flanagan stuff & I admit I wasn’t feeling it at all at first.

I’m really glad I didn’t give up on it as the end of episode 3 is when I went “Fuck yeah – something good is finally happening!!“. They then spent far too long talking in all the remaining episodes too, blah blah blah blah, but we got some great supernatural horror (my favorite!) in between all that blathering. The characters were good, especially Flanagan’s wife, and I loved this small, very Stephen-King-esque island community setting. That was great! I want to live there! You know, without the freaky supernatural horror stuff. And I absolutely hated the religious nut bitch (as you’re meant to) and her type of character also screamed Stephen-King-character because that’s the exact sort of character he writes so often. Same with the main guy with the tragic past. So, yeah, I probably liked this as it was so very much like a Stephen King story. Again, though, I just wish I could love a Flanagan movie/show. He’s getting closer!

– Alice In Borderland: S1 E1-5 – After being absolutely obsessed with the brilliant Squid Game (I loved it! Watched the whole thing twice!), we decided to check out this Japanese show as it’s one of those they recommend if you liked Squid Game. I can see why, as it also involves people being forced to play games that can result in their deaths. It’s fun so far so but we’re only halfway through, so I’ll say more once I’ve finished it.

It’s definitely not as good as Squid Game, though. The characters aren’t nearly as well developed. It’s also very “youth aimed”, which is fine, but the majority of the people on this show are in their 20s whereas Squid Game varied more in ages. Also, it doesn’t have the same sense of desperation that the characters in Squid Game had as they were down on their luck & needing the big prize. The “players” in this show are (seemingly at this point) chosen at random to participate. I like the mystery of it, though, as it appears that everyone else in the world has disappeared so am eager to find out what’s going on with the overall story…

– Never Mind The Buzzcocks: S29 E2-6– God, it’s like the old Buzzcocks from years ago had the soul sucked out of it completely. Very disappointing. Think they need new regulars?!

– The Masked Singer U.S.: S6 E1-7 – This show is so stupid but I seem to keep watching it. I’m convinced that one dude is John Lydon…

MUSIC LISTENED TO

– Ice Nine Kills – The Silver Scream 2: Welcome To Horrorwood – I liked this heavy metal band’s first album, where every song is about a horror movie, so was happy when they released this second album in time for Halloween this year. It’s just a bit screamy, FYI, if you don’t go for the full-on screamy metal stuff. I have to be in the right sort of mood but will always prefer classic metal, such as Black Sabbath, to this more modern stuff. The “horror movie” idea for these two albums was a great one, though.

– Iron Maiden – Senjutsu – Completely forgot to mention this album in my roundup the month it came out so figured I’d mention it quickly now. Really like it. I streamed it shitloads while working that month, hoping to help it beat Drake to the number one spot. It didn’t. I’m still bitter & annoyed. Yeah, I know I sound like an old person. Don’t care! 😉 Drake did a version of I’m Too Sexy, FFS. Right? Seriously?! Ugh. I weep for the future. Kids these days! Glad mine loves a lot of great classic rock & can name loads of bands from the 60s, 70s, 80s & 90s.

BOOKS READ

– Billy Summers by Stephen King – Enjoyed this, as I do with most King books, but it’ll never be a favorite. I always prefer King when he’s doing his supernatural horror thing so, this straightforward “crime” story of a professional hitman hired to kill a bad guy on his way to court, wasn’t really my sort of thing. The character of the hitman (Billy Summers) was fine as you do feel some sympathy for him (plus he only kills bad people!). The relationship he develops later on with a character is a bit awkward. I think I’d have been a bit bored if this book didn’t also include a “story within the story” as Billy Summers decides to write a book about his life while waiting for the man he’s been hired to kill. So we learn about his life from a young age via the book he writes. I liked that & it was the best thing about this book. Oh! That and references to a well known place from one of King’s most famous books (and not in Maine!). – 3/5

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

I might as well take this bit out of my roundup posts as I never really have any blog plans anymore. Watch movies, sometimes review them separately if I have much to say, otherwise just mention them in my monthly posts. 🙂

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

Everything!!! Damn. Still not going to the cinema so missing soooooo many movies. Really want to see Last Night In Soho.

I’ll end today’s post with Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show…

Halloween 1 Through 6 Mini Movie Reviews

Happy Halloween! My final post today contains my thoughts on Halloween 1-6, which I rewatched throughout October.

Even though I’m an ’80s kid & always enjoyed watching horror on TV every October, I just never quite managed to see all of the Halloween movies. To be fair, we didn’t have it as easy as you whipper snappers! I had to sneak around & try to watch what I could late at night on TV. And my mom was certainly not going to be renting violent slasher flicks for me. Well, I would’ve been old enough to rent the 6th Halloween movie… But I was an Elm Street girl by then, so that’s what I spent my time watching in its entirety instead. And, after now finally watching all of the first “Halloween timeline” movies, it has confirmed what I already knew: I’m still definitely an Elm Street girl.

As for other slasher franchises from the same sort of era, I’ve seen even fewer of the Friday The 13th movies. Can’t even say for sure but I’ve seen the first two then maybe a few others but couldn’t tell you which ones. Well, okay – one was that Jason in space one. Ha! Fucking hell. And, of course, Freddy Vs Jason where I was Team Freddy. As for Child’s Play, I never saw beyond the first three but I have no interest as they look really bad. However, I actually enjoyed those films, cheesy as they are, more than what I’ve seen of the Friday The 13th movies. Maybe I’ll try to watch all of Friday The 13th someday but I’m in no rush, especially since refreshing my memory & finding out just how bad the Halloween sequels actually are.

I saw more of Halloween than I’d realised, though, I just didn’t remember much other than the first movie. And I’ve watched the first movie plenty – it’s in a completely different league from the sequels. I believe it was only 5 & 6 which I’d not seen at all. I have no energy to watch every Halloween movie, though. Look at this shit!:

Okay, so what I’ve watched is “The Loomis Timeline” (and Halloween III). There are actually only three others I’ve not seen now: Resurrection, Halloween Kills (I’ll watch it when it’s on services), and Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (which I will never watch as I hated his Halloween film with an absolute fucking passion. Almost as much as I hated the Elm Street remake! Dreadful).

So here are some brief thoughts on each of the “Loomis Timeline” movies. By the 4th but especially the 5th & 6th one I was getting bored & just typing out random thoughts while they were on so, screw it, I’ll just post all those ramblings.

Halloween (1978)

Directed By John Carpenter

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis, P.J. Soles, Nancy Loomis (her name is Loomis?! – Oh, interesting… she changed it. It’s really Nancy Kyes), Nick Castle

My Opinion:

Oh, it looks like I took a few notes while watching this: Cop daughter dodgy acting, Great score, Michael drives so well!

What can I say about Halloween? I’m not going to do some full review of any of these. I’ll just say that this one is SO much better than the rest. As with most slasher franchises, obviously. But, wow – the sequels are pretty dodgy after such a strong start with this one.

As in my notes, “Cop daughter dodgy acting“, I don’t think I have to look this up to see if anyone won an Oscar. But who wants good acting in a slasher movie anyway?? Jamie Lee Curtis is still one of the best “final girls” and makes up for the other two girls who are only there to be horny & murdered anyway. And I know Donald Pleasence was a proper actor & all that but he hams it up more and more in each of these movies. But it’s all part of the fun in campy slashers, which is what these sort of become. I far prefer the mood of this first movie, though, which has a more simple story & decent atmosphere & doesn’t get too over the top or silly. I have my Elm Street movies for ones that have a sense of “fun” & loads of other ’80s horror if I want campy.

Not gonna lie, though, there’s one thing I love above everything else when it comes to this movie & it’s the score. Carpenter’s Halloween theme is an all-time classic. It’s a damn masterpiece. That’s why it gets used over & over in all of the sequels & is the one truly great thing in each of them. Love it! I’m convinced these movies wouldn’t be nearly as popular if it wasn’t for that theme. Because, quite frankly, Michael Myers kind of sucks. Am I allowed to say that?! Blasphemy! He’s okay in this one, though. I like that he’s this purely evil psycho from a young age and I really like the beginning of the film & the image at the end of this review. That’s all good. But the character gets more & more ridiculous as these sequels go on & that starts to get boring. And I like the passion & desperation from Loomis in this one to catch Michael (before he gets too over the top & becomes slightly demented Loomis in the sequels).

I don’t mean to sound negative, though – this movie is a horror classic. Think I’m just frustrated by the sequels! They just aren’t ones I watched over & over as a teenager when I wasn’t so snobby & picky, I guess. So I don’t have that nostalgic love like I have for the Elm Streets but the first Halloween is great.

My Rating: 8/10

Halloween II (1981)

Directed by Rick Rosenthal

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence, Dick Warlock

My Opinion:

Wow, I made two notes while watching this: Guy blowing up was funny, The sister plot!!

Okay – So is this when they made up the “Laurie is Michael’s sister” plot? Because that wasn’t in the first one, right?? That was a little silly. But, whatever – this movie wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I know I saw it years ago but didn’t remember anything other than “it’s not as good as the first one”. But at least it’s still Laurie/Jamie Lee, therefore it was far more enjoyable than the other sequels. I also like that it carries on immediately from where the first movie ends & there’s none of that “a number of years later” bullshit. I liked that some of the other sequels did that too (or did they all do that? Bloody hell – I just watched these & am already mixing 4, 5 & 6 all up in my mind!).

This was fine. I liked that it was still Laurie & Loomis. I liked that it was still horny people getting murdered while being horny. I liked the hospital setting. The ending was ridiculous & this is when it starts getting stupid that Michael just won’t fucking die but I know that’s the point of these slasher villains so I can’t exactly complain. But, come on – how the hell did Loomis survive?! Well, I suppose you don’t know that until number four, right?? Whatever. That’s okay. I’ll forgive some of the stupid stuff since this is the best of the sequels & at least Laurie is in it.

My Rating: 6.5/10

Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)

Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace

Starring: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O’Herlihy, Nancy Kyes

My Opinion:

I made no notes while watching this. The hubby wanted to watch this one with me for some reason so I saw it last but knew it wouldn’t matter since it’s nothing to do with the Michael Myers story. I fell asleep & missed the end. I have to be honest – Watching this was a fucking chore. (I’ve still not finished it. I really should. I can’t be arsed).

Here’s what I remembered from seeing this one once as a teen: The jingle in the commercial & the masks. I can see why that’s all I remembered as those are the only things worth remembering. I gave this one a rating on Twitter already, though, and I think I was a bit too harsh. I’ll raise it by half a point as I love a horror anthology & like that they had the idea of doing these Halloween movies as unrelated individual stories. I wish they’d done that! I could live without the Michael Myers sequels. They’re better than THIS film but maybe they’d have made some really good movies if they’d continued with the anthology idea. And as far as the story goes, I think this movie has quite a good one! I like the story – it’s a clever idea. The Stonehenge connection is silly but, hey – Stonehenge is awesome & I love that place so that’s okay. The execution of the story just isn’t the greatest & the movie unfortunately comes across as very very bad film. But I can see why Film Twitter seems to love this one as it’s so unlike the Michael Myers Halloween films.

I wanted to like this. I thought I’d love it for some reason as I remembered liking that great jingle so much! Didn’t remember Tom Atkins being a dirty old perv. At least he finally asked that girl how old she was after sleeping with her once or twice. Ha! The ’80s. Gotta love ’em. Oh yeah – I meant to mention that I liked seeing a commercial on the TV in this movie for the first Halloween movie. Liked that they got that into this unrelated story.

My Rating: 5/10

Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers (1988)

Directed by Dwight H. Little

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Ellie Cornell, Danielle Harris, Michael Pataki

My Opinion:

My notes while watching this: Dumb that Laurie is dead, How did both those fuckers survive blowing up?, I like the sister, I like the ending (but 5 fucking ruins that).

After watching 5 & 6, I decided that this one wasn’t horrible. I hated that Laurie was suddenly dead with some dumb story that she’d died in a car accident, leaving her daughter (brand new character Jamie Lloyd) an orphan. I hate when characters are just written out of a story like that.

I very vaguely remember seeing this but, again, remembered no specifics. I liked the character of Jamie Lloyd & liked her in this & movie five (another character ruined by a sequel, though – I wasn’t happy with movie six!). That’s right – I’ve looked this up & it’s ten years after the events of movie two & Michael has been in a coma that whole time, which is to be expected since he was burnt to a fucking crisp along with Loomis who somehow just has a partially scarred face. But Myers has woken up now in 1988 because they decided they wanted to make another Michael Myers Halloween movie after all.

This movie has a couple things going for it. As I said, I liked the character of Jamie Lloyd & I also liked her foster sister. They were “nice”. I know that seems stupid but I want to have a likeable character or two, even in slasher flicks. They had a good relationship & Jamie was very cute. And I liked it now focusing on a girl much younger than the teenage Laurie Strode. But the foster sister is a teenager so we still get some horny teens fucking before dying (not the foster sister, though – she’s the good girl! Her boyfriend is a cheating bastard). Also, I really liked the ending. Okay, it’s maybe a little predictable and just ending the way the first Halloween began but I liked that full circle thing. Then the fifth movie had to come along and fuck that good ending up…

My Rating: 6/10

Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers (1989)

Directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, Beau Starr, Wendy Kaplan, Tamara Glynn

My Opinion:

Loads of notes while watching this (I was clearly getting bored), so here are my random thoughts:

– Is that how he thanks the guy who nursed him back to health?!

– Telepathic link is dumb

– Now she’s a step sister? Thought she was a foster sister in number 4.

– Did they have to kill the sister so soon?!

– So did the “step mom” survive??

– Loomis is demented & getting on my nerves

– Cartoon sound effects for the cops?! WTF?!?

– Jamie being a killer was cooler

– Michael sucks. He has no personality. I’m bored with him.

– I’ll say it again – Michael drives so well!

– No story to these – only 1 had a story

– Uncle! Hahaha. Heartwarming. Like Mando taking off his helmet for Grogu. Um… Why is he not burnt to a crisp?!

– Using her as bait? Loomis has lost the plot. A net?? That was a cartoon trick! Or Ewok trick. Get the net!

– Meandering

– He survived burning to a crisp but can’t handle a beating

– Who’s the guy with the boots?! I was paying no attention since I was bored.

Okay, that’s the end of my random thoughts. I think this was the first time I’ve ever seen this one. I’ll say this: It was annoying that they decided they didn’t want Jamie to be a cold-blooded killer after all. Boo!! But, oh well – at least we get likeable Jamie again. That was nice that they forgave her for stabbing her step mom, I guess. I was annoyed that they killed her nice step sister so quickly. As these movies were so similar, I keep messing them up in my mind. This then focused on her sister’s teenage friend instead, right, and Michael killing horny teens in a barn at a Halloween party? It’s really bad I can’t keep these straight when I’ve just watched them this month, for crying out loud. Oh yeah – I liked that this too picks up right from where number 4 ended. But!! Then Michael goes into another coma (what a pussy) and wakes up one year later to again terrorize Jamie. Guess the story needed time for her to be rehabilitated or whatever. And I was thoroughly confused by the ending because I think I wasn’t really paying attention but they cover that (sort of) in the final stupid Loomis Timeline movie anyway…

My Rating: 5.5/10

Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers (1995)

Directed by Joe Chappelle

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Paul Rudd, Marianne Hagan, Mitch Ryan

My Opinion:

Lots of random thoughts while watching this one too. At least I had cutie Paul Rudd to look at:

– Introducing Paul Stephen Rudd!

– Michael is slower than a fucking Romero zombie

– Michael Myers in space (what’s this note in relation to?! Oh, I think it was a radio caller? Is that where they got the Jason in space idea??).

– Shit, crazy Loomis is back

– Oh no, is cutie Paul Stephen Rudd bad?! (Later FYI – No, he wasn’t. Paul Rudd can’t be bad! He’s a sweetie!)

– This father is such an asshole – he better get killed by Michael!

– FYI – the mother is from the ’80s classic Better Off Dead… I’d recommend that over this movie…

– Is Loomis’s (Loomis’? Loomises?!) face not at all burned anymore?!

– Paul Stephen Rudd is blathering on about the Druids or some shit. Makes me want to listen to Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge. (Later FYI – wasn’t Stonehenge in the Halloween III plot? A link!!)

– Glad Paul Rudd got better at acting. He’s adorable in this, though.

– God, I was already out of high school when this came out. Maybe that’s why I never watched this one? Although I don’t think I saw number 5 either. Anyway – man, I’m so old. 😦 Almost as old as Paul Rudd! Although he looks much younger than me. But he looks younger than everyone…

– This just turned into Rosemary’s Baby. But, like, a bad Rosemary’s Baby.

– Wasn’t Jamie, like, 8ish in the fifth movie? And this is six years later & she had a baby?

– Oh shit – it’s over. I wasn’t paying much attention at the end there. What did I miss???

– What is this grunge music? Aww, how ’90s…

That’s the end of my random thoughts. This movie is the worst of these (not counting the unrelated Halloween III). I should rate it lower than number 5 as it’s definitely worse but I think I’ve upped the rating for adorable Paul Rudd. I also liked that he’s actually the character Tommy Doyle, who Laurie was babysitting in the first film, so that was a nice link. But I hated what they did with Jamie Lloyd’s character (what a waste!). Think I hated that even more than the Laurie Strode car accident write-off. Plus, um… Was she raped? Do they really explain all that? She’s actually kidnapped by this cult that, like, worships Michael Myers or some shit at the end of movie five so did they keep her those whole six years then impregnate her? Gross. She was really young in movie five – how was she of child bearing age only six years later anyway?

I admit that at one point I wanted more of an explanation as to why Myers was evil & also unable to be killed but I’ve changed my mind after this movie and its talk of Druids and some dumb curse & whatever other bullshit they were spouting. Dumb. Now I want to go back to the simplicity of the story in the first Halloween. He’s just evil. Sometimes that’s all the explanation you need.

In the movie’s defence, though, it sounds like there’s a better version. Maybe the story in that isn’t as much of an incoherent mess. From Wikipedia:

“After the film’s home media release, the original workprint of the film, which featured 45 minutes of alternative footage and a different ending, was discovered by fans of the series. This version, dubbed The Producer’s Cut, developed a cult following, with bootleg DVD copies sold on eBay and online petitions targeting for an official release of it. In 2014, the Producer’s Cut was officially released on Blu-ray.”

Well. I’ve rambled enough. This was a disappointing end to the Loomis Timeline but at least it gave us Paul Stephen Rudd.

My Rating: 5.5/10

Avengers: Endgame (2019) Review

**SPOILER-FREE REVIEW**

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Directed by Anthony Russo & Joe Russo

Produced by Kevin Feige

Based on The Avengers by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Paul Rudd, Brie Larson, Karen Gillan, Danai Gurira, Bradley Cooper, Josh Brolin

Music by Alan Silvestri

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
After the devastating events of Avengers: Infinity War (2018), the universe is in ruins. With the help of remaining allies, the Avengers assemble once more in order to undo Thanos’ actions and restore order to the universe.

My Opinion:

22 movies! I can’t believe I’ve seen all of these. It’s certainly the most films I’ve ever watched in a series. I thoroughly enjoyed each & every one of these MCU films (certainly much more than the dreary DC movies, although they’ve gotten better in the past few years). However, I’m not a huge comic book/superhero movie fan so I won’t pretend that these movies mean as much to me as they do to the hardcore fans. I see them as escapist entertainment. They’re fun popcorn movies. But I can absolutely understand the love for the MCU and think they did a brilliant job setting up so many strong, likeable, and well-developed characters. The films are good (and several are very good) but the characters are great. I can see how fans will feel as strongly about these characters as I do about the characters in Star Wars. They feel like family in a weird sort of way. And Avengers: Endgame provided a fitting end(?) to just over a decade of watching these beloved characters grow & come together as a team.

Avengers: Endgame isn’t a perfect film, though, and I can’t even say it’s going to be an absolute favorite MCU movie for me personally. I do think it’s one that may go up in my estimation over time and it in no way hurts the overall legacy but my initial reaction is that I far preferred Infinity War. That ending had balls. To be honest, I kind of wanted that to be the actual end to the whole MCU (that would be a bit dark, I suppose – this isn’t DC!). But Endgame certainly will have been an emotional rollercoaster for diehard fans so I can appreciate that it will be higher on their lists. I expect to feel the same sort of emotions when watching The Rise Of Skywalker.

I just felt that Endgame took the easy way out with some of its characters. I’m obviously trying to avoid spoilers so I’ll just say that, if this is indeed the last time we’re going to see some of these characters, a few had very satisfying “endings” but I was disappointed with the direction they took for a couple of them. Overall, the movie was more predictable than I was hoping. I wanted more surprises but only got a few small ones. I even managed to successfully avoid ALL spoilers for two entire days so was disappointed to get so few surprises.

I’ll keep this short so I don’t accidentally spoil anything. I struggle with reviews for these films as I do feel like they’re the same formula over & over again and Endgame really isn’t any different from what we’ve seen before besides obviously needing & having a darker tone. Luckily, there are still a few funny moments too. The reason I far prefer Marvel to DC is because they get the right amount of genuinely funny humor mixed in with even the most serious films in the series. I’ve ranked all 22 MCU movies HERE, including Endgame. Maybe Endgame will move up in the future but, from my list, it’ll be clear that I prefer the lighthearted & funny superheroes. It’s Guardians Of The Galaxy for me. And, as Thor is my favorite character overall, I think the best decision Marvel made was to make his originally boring (but hot) character funny. Hemsworth is hilarious. I know that not all will agree with the “funny superhero” thing but I absolutely loved the comic relief provided by Thor & Ant-Man in Endgame. It was needed so that it didn’t turn into DC dreariness. But, as I said, I love that Marvel gets the right balance and the serious nature of this storyline was handled very well. To have such a strong mix of characters with very different personalities is what makes the MCU so enjoyable. There’s something for everyone across these 22 films. To make these many films in just over a decade and to bring all these characters together is a hell of a feat. This may not be my favorite Marvel film but I have a lot of respect for what they’ve done with the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

My Rating: 8/10

Ant-Man And The Wasp (2018) Review

Ant-Man And The Wasp (2018)

Directed by Peyton Reed

Based on Ant-Man by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Jack Kirby & Wasp by Stan Lee, Ernie Hart, Jack Kirby

Starring: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Peña, Walton Goggins, Bobby Cannavale, Judy Greer, Tip “T.I.” Harris, David Dastmalchian, Hannah John-Kamen, Abby Ryder Fortson, Randall Park, Michelle Pfeiffer, Laurence Fishburne, Michael Douglas

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
In Ant-Man and the Wasp, the titular pair work with Hank Pym to retrieve Janet van Dyne from the quantum realm.

My Opinion:

I’m going to make this quick as well as my review for Incredibles 2, which I’ll post tomorrow. Because…. I really enjoyed both of them yet have very little to say about them. With stuff like this one, I struggle to think of new things to say about yet another Marvel superhero sequel. Let’s be honest – they all follow the exact same formula. However, I enjoyed this one much more than I was expecting to and even more than the first one. I’ve now updated My MCU Movie Ranking list & this is right in the middle. And the end credits scene in this was one of the best yet.

I do love Paul Rudd, so that helps. And Chris Hemsworth, of course. I want an Ant-Man/Thor movie! I did like the first Ant-Man but thought this one improved on that quite a bit. Evangeline Lilly getting to kick some ass was a big help – I really liked these two together as a team. And then we also got the addition of GODDESS Michelle Pfeiffer, which also made me happy. Love her. And I also really enjoyed the “villain” in this one (Hannah John-Kamen) being one of those in that gray area (Is she really bad? I think we’d all go bad in her situation). As always, I know nothing of these comics so it probably helps my enjoyment as I don’t nitpick. I do believe her character was changed a lot but I liked this film version.

Like Deadpool 2, this sequel also ups the humor a bit. Ant-Man’s thieving friends have bigger roles in this, which was fun (but won’t be for anyone who finds those guys annoying). And, as I mentioned earlier, I thought the end credits scene was really strong – There was actually an audible gasp in the cinema at that scene. I quite often enjoy the origin stories the most when it comes to these superhero movies but prefer the characters themselves in the sequels as they become more developed. In this case, I think the sequel is a pretty big improvement in terms of making us like these characters more. And did I mention Michelle Pfeiffer?!? Michelle Pfeiffer rules. I think I actually enjoyed this one more than Deadpool 2. Crazy, huh? I may be alone in that opinion…

My Rating: 7/10

Sausage Party (2016) Review

Sausage Party (2016)

Directed by Conrad Vernon & Greg Tiernan

Starring: Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, Michael Cera, James Franco, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, Paul Rudd, Nick Kroll, David Krumholtz, Edward Norton, Salma Hayek

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The film, a parody of Disney and Pixar animated films, follows a sausage who tries to discover the truth about his existence and goes on a journey with his friends to escape their fate.

My Opinion:

Yep – Seth Rogen & Co have been smoking way too much weed now. They should probably get help. However, they’re making lots of money so why would they stop? Needless to say, don’t watch this movie if you’re easily offended. I’m offended by people who watch movies they know are going to be offensive & then get all offended. Think of all the most un-PC humor you’ve ever seen in South Park & multiply it by 1,000. I just watched Ted 2 the other day & was shocked at the jokes they got away with but Sausage Party makes Ted 2 look like Snow White. Or… A Disney movie with a bear! The Jungle Book?

My point is: I’m not easily offended and like a lot of humor that’s not PC but Sausage Party probably crosses the line a bit too much at times & almost made me uncomfortable (for the record, I admit that I quite like the Ted movies & prefer them to this). There were jokes that worked & jokes that didn’t but, overall, the movie just didn’t work as a whole. The story was weak but I suppose you can’t expect much from a movie made purely to use as many food-related sex jokes as possible. However, I did like the message. Yes, there’s a message just like in any Disney film. This movie reminded me of Zootropolis– it felt like they came up with the film’s message first & then wrote a story around it that didn’t quite fit.

I did like our main characters of Rogen’s sausage & Wiig’s buns and their desire to come together. I enjoyed all the dirty stuff & really liked the film’s, um, climax. Not sure what that says about me. Michael Cera’s deformed little sausage was pretty funny. Edward Norton’s bagel & Salma Hayek’s taco were also highlights of the film. I realize how dirty this all sounds but that’s the point of the film. Wiig’s blatant vagina bun was hard to watch at times, especially when she talked. Watching a talking cartoon vagina for an hour & a half is bizarre. The douche was seriously irritating, though, and the many many (many) douche jokes were far from fresh. Between the talking vagina, the douche & the racial (food) stereotypes, I felt a little uncomfortable.

I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t get some laughs out of this movie – I just laughed far less than I was expecting. Plus half the time I was probably too scared to laugh at the more “iffy” humor. If anything, Sausage Party makes me appreciate old episodes of South Park a bit more as they feel more cleverly written than this film which relies too heavily on cheap jokes. Anthropomorphic food having sexual relations is pretty damn hilarious, though! Yep – that shit did crack me up. But I’ve always had a thing for anthropomorphic food & used to do a series on this blog called “Anthropomorphic Cuteness” (check out this post with a funny clip from The Amazing World Of Gumball – it’s better than all of Sausage Party). I’d only recommend this movie to lovers of things like South Park & Family Guy. There aren’t enough laughs to really make it worth a trip to the cinema, though – you can probably wait to watch it at home.

My Rating: 6/10

Captain America: Civil War (2016) Review

**SPOILER-FREE (but not much of a review – I mostly just talk about all these damn superhero movies that keep coming out & where I’d rank them…)**

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Directed by Anthony Russo & Joe Russo

Based on Captain America by Joe Simon & Jack Kirby

Starring: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Emily VanCamp, Tom Holland, Frank Grillo, William Hurt, Daniel Brühl, The Kitchen Sink

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
In Captain America: Civil War, an act regulating superhuman activity fractures the Avengers into opposing factions, one led by Steve Rogers and another by Tony Stark.

My Opinion:

Superheroes Shmuperheroes. I’m sick of saying I’m sick of superhero movies. In the three & a half years I’ve had this blog, I feel like I’ve spent half my time writing superhero movie reviews as so many have come out in that time! I’m tired. I can’t do it anymore!

I have to be honest: I can’t be bothered to write much of a “review” for this. Mainly, I’m going to just talk about all the various superhero movies & where I’d rank them all now. I always struggle with writing about these movies as I’m just a casual fan & have zero knowledge about any of the comic books. I put time into running a movie blog so I do clearly geek out about movies more than the average person but I just don’t have the spare time & energy to devote to watching the thousands of hours worth of superhero sequels, prequels, spin-offs, TV shows, etc etc. I’m old & I’m tired & I have a hubby & a kid. I watch the big cinematic superhero releases when they come out & that’s it. I’ve not even managed to re-watch any, which means I’m always a little lost with each movie as I have to remember minor characters & plots from movies I watched just once at the time of release. It drives my hubby nuts when I have to constantly ask who so & so is and if I should remember them from previous movies. These superhero movies are becoming like Game Of Thrones – too many damn characters & stories to keep track of!

Okay – after getting that little rant out of the way, I have to say that I have really enjoyed these current Marvel films with the various Avengers. A few haven’t been all that great but, overall, they’re very solid films. And, with this one & the fantastic Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the Captain America films are now easily the best of the bunch (including the full-ensemble The Avengers & Avengers: Age Of Ultron). I loved the first Iron Man and would have said that one was my favorite at the time but after Iron Man 2 & Iron Man 3 were so weak, I’d have to say that Captain America has now jumped ahead overall as the sequels have been so great.

You were afraid I was going to trash this movie, weren’t you? 😉 I won’t. It’s very good! But I just can’t review it. I don’t know what to say. I’ve done so many of these superhero reviews. I’m done. For now. I’ll attempt to review X-Men: Apocalypse but I honestly have no hope for that one after Days Of Future Past was such a mess. Let’s just discuss all the various superhero films that are out there.

How I’d Now Rank All The Superhero Movies (remember that I always rank things according to how much I like a movie, not according to what I necessarily think is the best film):

Every time another one of these movies comes out, I say I’ll update this list HERE of My Top Ten Superhero Movies. I desperately need to as it’s extremely different now. For one, I was way too easy on Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy. The Dark Knight would probably drop way down to the lower half of the ten now (I was too swayed by loving Ledger in it) while the other two would be knocked out completely.

I’d also move up some older classics I’m no longer ashamed of loving (it was the early days of my blog & I suppose I knew you were all younger than I am. You kids are Nolan-obsessed). 😉 So the 1978 Superman would go way up as would Tim Burton’s Batman (and it would move to a position higher than The Dark Knight).

Then there are the first two X-Men movies. Those came out when I was much younger & had spare time to watch movies & geek out over things and I really bought into those characters & that world. Back then, the superhero movie thing wasn’t big like now & it seemed like those films came from out of nowhere. I loved them & I’m still very fond of them but every movie since has been a huge disappointment, including the prequels which I haven’t been able to buy into at all. The various Avengers films have been so much better than the current X-Men films so I’d probably have to move the first two X-Mens down the list as they’ve now been ruined for me somewhat.

So where would I place Captain America: Civil War in a Top Ten? I think it’s too soon to say where but it’s definitely in the ten. I’ll fully update & re-post my list after X-Men: Apocalypse (even though I think that has zero chance of being on the list). I think a lot of where it will ultimately sit also depends on how good the next Avengers film is (whenever the hell that’s meant to be?!). At the moment, I’m trying to decide if it’s better than The Winter Soldier. I think it may be once we get more of the story but, at the moment, I think I’d rank The Winter Soldier higher. So! For now, and subject to change as I change my mind A LOT, I’ll rank things accordingly:

10. TIE: Deadpool & X-Men
9. The Dark Knight
8. The Avengers
7. Batman (1989)
6. X2
5. Captain America: Civil War
4. Iron Man
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2. Superman (1978)
1. Guardians Of The Galaxy

Defining “superhero movies” is quite difficult, though. I’d make it a list of just “comic book movies” but that would further complicate things as there are plenty of non-superhero comic books. For now, I’m leaving out animated films like The Incredibles & Big Hero 6 but I may add them. Also… What about things like Dredd & The Crow? Do they qualify? What do you all think? Because if I start adding in things like those, the list would be very different (for the record, The Crow would easily be my number one as that’s an overall favorite film of mine). Let me know, superhero fans! I really do want to do a proper list, probably where I rank all of the superhero films I’ve seen.

Either way, these various current Marvel films will take plenty of places in my Top Ten as they’re all very strong & seem to be getting better & better. The better they get, the more the other superhero movies pale in comparison & will end up getting knocked out of the list. Way to go Marvel! Unlike DC Comics, eh? As much as I complain about all these damn superhero movies, I always go to them. Until Batman Vs. Superman, that is. After the terrible Man Of Steel, I really couldn’t be bothered to watch it. And from the sound of things, I’m not missing much!

Summary (where I’ll actually say a tiny bit about Captain America: Civil War!):

I have to say that I liked the new characters that have been added to this one. Black Panther is cool (I love those claws) and I really liked Spider-Man! Could we finally have a Spider-Man that fans don’t bitch about?? I have no idea but I really liked him plus my hubby seemed to think they did a very good job with him this time & hubby is a little bit of a comic book fan unlike me. I can’t say I’ve exactly loved any of the Spider-Man movies yet so let’s hope Marvel get things right with their own Spider-Man film. I’m looking forward to it now!

It was great seeing so many Marvel characters together, some of whom haven’t been together in a film yet. However, my one small complaint about the ensemble Avengers films is that there are too many characters, which means that it’s hard for anyone to get much character development. This one is clearly the Captain America & Iron Man show but they didn’t do too bad spending a decent amount of time with some of the other characters. I’d like to see Scarlet Witch get a little further development – they seem to possibly be headed in that direction for the next film.

Okay – I’ve just looked into it as I had zero clue what films are being made next! Apparently the next full Avengers one is Infinity War in May 2018 & 2019 (split into two damn parts one year apart!)?! Long wait until those… That’s made me lose the will to live again with these damn movies!! I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that this Civil War story is clearly going to be carried on into the next films… I guess I’ve just given away that we don’t get full closure on this story? No surprise there, though – there are 282 more films coming in which to further develop it! Anyway, I still can’t help but slightly prefer some of the stand alone films as we get so much more time to get to know just one main character but it’s still fun seeing them all interacting with each other.

The action in this was also a little too much at first (but not at ridiculous Man Of Steel levels). I also thought it got off to a slow start but I was much more into it by the halfway point. It’s a big story so is taking its time to develop over the course of several films. I guess. Yeah. Ugh. I just can’t handle thinking about them all. Oh, but Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 is May 2017!!! THAT I’m excited about (it’s my number one by quite a lot).

Well, for all my bitching, Marvel really are getting better & better at this superhero movie thing & are putting other superhero movies to shame. I’ll continue to watch them all even though I’m superheroed-out but I’ll never geek out over them like my young & carefree twentysomething self may have. But they’re thoroughly entertaining popcorn movies. And although Civil War is obviously getting into darker & moodier territory, it still maintains some of the humor and the less-serious attitude that have made me far prefer the Avengers films to the dark & brooding shit like Batman Vs. Superman appears to be. Screw that emo bullshit! It looks like things will get even more serious for Infinity War, I imagine, but they did a good job getting the balance right in this one and not making a film that’s too depressing to be at all enjoyable. Keep up the good work, Marvel! On all ten films you have planned between now & July 2019. Good (star) Lord…

My Rating: 7.5/10

Is There A Scene After The Credits?: HA! Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Duhhhhhhh….. Yes. Two. This is Marvel. They’re worth staying for, though. In my opinion. The more “important” one is halfway through the credits while the fun “teaser” one is at the very end (that’s the one I liked).

Stan Lee Cameo: It’s cute! I always love them. Maybe I should start rating those too…

The Muscular Arms On Chris Evans: Whoa, boy! I’m a Thor girl & have never really gone for Captain America but I very much appreciated those biceps when he was holding onto the helicopter. Yeah, baby! I may look away from Thor occasionally in the next film you’re both in together…

**Hey, I know I didn’t really talk about this movie but I’ll happily discuss it with anyone in the comments. I really do want to know all your opinions! Especially those of you who are big fans of these films. 🙂

Ant-Man (2015) Review

Ant-Man (2015)

Directed by Peyton Reed

Story by Edgar Wright & Joe Cornish

Based on Ant-Man by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber & Jack Kirby

Starring: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, Bobby Cannavale, Michael Peña, Tip “T.I.” Harris, Anthony Mackie, Wood Harris, Judy Greer, David Dastmalchian, Michael Douglas

Plot Synopsis:
Superhero ants.

My Opinion:

I finally saw Ant-Man! It was… okay. Everyone has reviewed it by now so the general vibe I got was that it wasn’t exactly the best superhero movie ever but it was a bit of fun anyway. Yep – that’s pretty much it.

First of all: Paul Rudd. I’ve talked of my love for Paul Rudd here a few times. I’d say he’s definitely the best thing about this and, had it been someone else playing Ant-Man, I’m sure I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much. I mean, it’s about a tiny little superhero with an army of ants. It’s weird! The movie could have been a total disaster but I think they just managed to actually pull it off thanks to Rudd more than anything else.

With Edgar Wright & Joe Cornish writing this, I was hoping for a slightly better story (I found Cornish’s Attack The Block to be a pleasant surprise). The story was okay but it was kind of “same old same old”, as with most Marvel movies. I’m getting a tad bored with the superhero thing so I did appreciate that Ant-Man felt a little “different” (although nowhere near as different as Guardians Of The Galaxy, which is probably why that remains my favorite superhero movie of recent times & maybe my favorite ever).

You know what else I’m bored with? Reviewing superhero movies. I’m kind of glad to hear that Fantastic Four sucks so I don’t have to waste my time on that one. What else can I really say about Ant-Man?? If you love the Marvel films, you know you kind of need to see this as they’re all connected. As always, I don’t know a thing about the comics so I can’t compare but I doubt Ant-Man was anyone’s favorite character in the first place so I think Paul Rudd did a good job making such a potentially boring superhero so likeable.

Oh! Being a woman & mother of a young girl, I have to admit that my favorite element of the story involved Rudd’s scenes with his character’s daughter. She was so adorable! Nothing melts women’s hearts more than seeing a daddy protecting his daughter. Also, although you see it coming (which is fine as all Marvel films are pretty predictable), there’s a scene during the big climax at the end that was fantastic & saved the movie a little for me. I didn’t think Ant-Man was at all bad but the final half hour or so did really up my opinion of the movie as a whole.

Summary:

I know I sound a little bored with this movie but it’s just the overall superhero thing that doesn’t excite me so much anymore. They’re fun popcorn movies & I’m sure I’ll watch them all but I’m waiting for another one to surprise me in the way that Guardians Of The Galaxy did. I’d have to say I actually enjoyed Ant-Man more than some of the sequels involving Marvel’s much more famous superheroes (such as Iron Man). In fact, I’d almost say that I enjoyed this one a little more than Avengers: Age Of Ultron, although I think Ultron is a better film. I don’t know… Ant-Man is an enjoyable enough experience. I’m just happy that, of the two, Fantastic Four is the massive failure instead. I do love my Paul Rudd and am glad he did pretty well in this one.

My Rating: 7/10

Is There A Scene After The Credits? Don’t be silly – of course there is! Two, actually – a mid-credits & one after the credits. Fairly worth staying for…

This Is 40, Admission & Bad Grandpa Movie Reviews

Time to start getting more movies off my “Reviews To Do” list! Since starting this blog, I feel like I must review absolutely every single movie I watch. I’ve put off reviewing some because I just don’t have much to say about them (especially things like throwaway comedies & the occasional chick flick) so I’ll start reviewing movies like these together every now & then. Most movies like these are ones I watched in 2014 so I’m a little behind. But they’re on my list! I gotta do them!!! 😉

So here are three quickies! One was boring, one was okay, and one I really enjoyed.

This Is 40 (2012)

Directed by Judd Apatow

Starring: Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, John Lithgow, Megan Fox, Chris O’Dowd, Jason Segel, Melissa McCarthy, Graham Parker, Albert Brooks

My Opinion: This is the one that was okay. I watched This Is 40 at least a year ago & remember thinking something along the lines of “I enjoyed that but I better review it quick because I won’t remember much of it in a year”. Ha! It’s true. For example: That annoying Melissa McCarthy was in this? Really?? And I forgot that the even more annoying Megan Fox was in this. Well, I watched this for Paul Rudd. If it had been a different male star, I doubt I’d have bothered.

I have yet to love anything from Judd Apatow. I feel like I should as I suppose I’m the sort of target age range for his stuff? I don’t know… Who here is a huge Apatow fan? What am I missing? Looking at what he’s written and/or directed, I did like The 40 Year-Old Virgin and remember that pretty well even though it’s much older and I only saw it once. This Is 40 is probably my second favorite but considering I only remember certain parts of it a year later doesn’t say much for it, I guess.

I liked Rudd, as always, but this wasn’t exactly my favorite ever character of his. He & Leslie Mann were fine but there was maybe a little too much of the “Oh god! I’m 40 & having a midlife crisis!” thing going on. I liked the family as a whole & they felt like a real-life family. Of course, it probably helps that the kids are the real-life daughters of Apatow & Mann but the Hollywood nepotism thing and Apatow’s insistence on always casting his borderline-annoying wife is, like the characters in This Is 40, getting a little old.

I do remember laughing a few times throughout this movie. It’s not a laugh-out-loud comedy but an observation on our relationships in life and, of course, growing old. It’s much more grown-up than some of Apatow’s other films and I can’t see as many people enjoying it unless they’re approaching or past the big Four-Oh. For the most part, I think this was a pretty well-written film and I liked the different sorts of relationships between the three generations of both Rudd’s & Mann’s families. It’s just a “watch it once and you have no need to watch it again” type of film. I’d only recommend it if you’re a fan of any of the stars or the director AND you’re at least 35.

My Rating: 6.5/10

Admission (2013)

Directed by Paul Weitz

Starring: Tina Fey, Paul Rudd, Nat Wolff, Michael Sheen, Wallace Shawn, Lily Tomlin

My Opinion: This is the boring one of these three movies. As you can see, it’s Paul Rudd again and I only watched it because he’s in it. This is one of those damn “dramedy” romance movies. Dramedies sometimes work but this one didn’t have much comedy and I didn’t care enough about Tina Fey’s character to give a shit about her drama. Like This Is 40, this is a more grown-up movie for a slightly older audience but the forced quirkiness of some of the characters and Tina Fey’s uptight Princeton admissions officer just didn’t work for me.

Paul Rudd was his usual adorable, likeable self but I’ll admit he always plays the same character (which is fine if you like him like I do). I’ve never really been a fan of Tina Fey, who also plays her usual self, so I can’t say I liked her character (which isn’t good as she’s the main star & the film centers on her career & relationship struggles). Nat Wolff was in this, who played the slightly annoying friend in The Fault In Our Stars and has the lead role in the next John Green adaptation coming out (Paper Towns, a book I really didn’t like so it’ll be interesting to see if the movie is any better). I did like Lily Tomlin as Fey’s mother and Wallace Shawn had a small role as Fey’s boss. It always gives me warm fuzzies just hearing his distinctive voice… “Inconceivable“! This is one of those movies that just tries too hard to be intelligent & serious and ends up feeling fake & forced. To be fair, romantic dramedy isn’t my favorite genre in the first place but this one just didn’t work for me at all.

My Rating: 5/10

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013)

Directed by Jeff Tremaine

Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Jackson Nicoll, A bunch of unsuspecting victims

My Opinion: Well, damn – I thought this was hilarious. Why am I ashamed to admit that?! I’ve thought all the Jackass movies were a riot. They’re not the sort of movies I’ve ever felt the need to watch more than once but they’re entertaining as hell on a first watch when you don’t know what kind of outrageous stuff to expect. I don’t really get why I like them as, in real life, I hate dumbass guys who do childish, idiotic things. I guess you have to give Johnny Knoxville credit for making a career out of it – he earns way more money than I do!

It was kind of weird at first how they acted out this fictional story of “grandpa & grandson” but I think it worked and, in the end, it was actually sort of sweet in a weird, f*%ked up kind of way. Johnny Knoxville was also in the movie Fun Size with the kid (Jackson Nicoll) and the kid was the best thing about that strange but somewhat enjoyable Nickelodeon movie. This kid cracks me up but I can’t say I’d ever let my kid hang out with any of the Jackass guys… Ha! Talk about bad role models!

Anyway, I never thought I’d find explosive diarrhoea (UK spelling, FYI) or an old man’s testicles funny but what really works in this movie, I guess, is the shocked reactions from the poor bastards they play their pranks on. Looking at photos for this post I was reminded again of the pageant bit… Hahaha! Why do I like these juvenile Jackass movies?!? I should be ashamed. But I’m not!

My Rating: 7/10

My Top Ten Paul Rudd Movies

Happy Birthday to Paul Rudd, who is 46 today. 🙂

I’ve had a crush on Paul Rudd ever since he was in Clueless (and his character made my list of My Top Ten Movie Crushes while his gorgeous eyes made THIS Top Ten list). He’s funny as well as cute so what’s not to love?

FYI – I’m putting this post together at 4:00am because I’m really sick & can’t stop coughing so this will be one of my lazy top tens where I only list my ten favorites without providing an explanation. So feel free to discuss them with me in the comments! However, I’m tired & grumpy so I won’t take any shit over hating Anchorman. 😉

**Updated April 2018 to add Sausage Party, Ant-Man & Captain America: Civil War**

So here are My Top Ten Paul Rudd Movies (including all I’ve seen):

22. The Anchorman Movies
21. How Do You Know
20. Admission
19. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
18. I Love You, Man
17. I Could Never Be Your Woman
16. The Little Prince
15. The Shape Of Things
14. Sausage Party
13. Knocked Up
12. The Object Of My Affection
11. This Is 40

TOP TEN:

10. This Is The End

9. Monsters Vs Aliens

8. The 40 Year-Old Virgin

7. Ant-Man

6. Captain America: Civil War

5. Romeo + Juliet

4. Night At The Museum (I’ve not reviewed the first one but did review the 3rd one HERE after a trip to the actual museum)

3. Role Models

2. Clueless

1. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

And here he is on one of my all-time Top Ten TV Shows. Love it!

I didn’t include 200 Cigarettes because I don’t really remember it. I should watch it again. I think I liked it… And anything else not included is because I’ve not seen it.

**This Is 40 is in my recent poll asking you which movie I should review next (but only has one or two votes – the current leader is Spirited Away). You can still vote in that poll HERE if you want. I won’t start reviewing the winners until next week (especially as I’m sick now). I feel awful. I need a hug. 😦

My Top Ten Actors’ Eyes

Err… Would this actually be a Top 20???

Abbi of Where The Wild Things Are once again did a couple Top Tens that I’d like to rip off. 😉 Her lists of her Top Ten Most Annoying Actors & Actresses (as well as the actors & actresses she’d watch in most everything) have now been copied by pretty much every one of us movie bloggers on WordPress. Well, a while ago Abbi got the idea from Cindy Bruchman’s Mr Bright Eyes Top Ten list of blue-eyed actors to then do her own list of Top Ten Blue Eyed Actors followed by her Top Ten Brown Eyed Actors.

Well, I’m mixing it up a bit! If I had to pick, I’d say brown eyes are what do it for me the most but I do love some sexy blue eyes as well (hello Chris Hemsworth!). So I’m putting both in one list.

Here are My Top Ten (Twenty!) Actors’ Eyes:

10. Jesse Williams

Whenever I’m not watching Grey’s Anatomy because it’s full of moany wankers, I always think “Damn! That guy has some lovely eyes.” But then I think “Not that I would know, since I totally don’t watch that annoying Grey’s Anatomy bullshit. Umm. It must be The Cabin In The Woods I’m thinking of. Yep, that’s where I saw him. Not Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t watch that shit. Honest!”

9. Orlando Bloom

I wouldn’t say I have a big crush on Bloom but his brown eyes are perfect. I could have put either Orlando Bloom or Andrew Garfield at number nine as they both have the perfect type of brown eyes that make me melt but I went with Bloom as, well, he’s definitely the more attractive of the two.

8. David Bowie

That’s me – once again using any excuse to get David Bowie into a post. 😉 I’ve always been quite fascinated by people who have eyes of different colors (even though, in Bowie’s case, it’s down to a childhood accident). It’s just another quirk that makes him unique.

7. Paul Walker

Aww – poor Paul Walker. I wasn’t a fan of those silly testosterone-fueled Fast & Furious movies but I loved Walker’s baby blues. It was a shame he’d done so many of those movies – I’d have liked to see him in other things. You know what movie of his I really liked? Roadkill! (Called Joy Ride in the US. Isn’t it weird when they change movie titles??)

6. Johnny Depp

Another crush from my teen years who had beautiful brown eyes. I can’t help it… the majority of guys I had crushes on through my teens just always seemed to have brown eyes! Holy shit, though – look at the size of that collar.

5. Paul Rudd

Sweet, funny, adorable Paul Rudd. I’ve loved him since Clueless. Cute AND funny – that’s how I like ’em! Love his slightly unusual greenish eye color.

4. Chris Hemsworth

Those who know me know that I kind of have the hots for The Hems. He’s gorgeous from top to bottom anyway but having eyes that are such a perfect shade of blue certainly doesn’t hurt either.

3. Jim Sturgess

I told you I liked brown! Don’t get me wrong – Hemsworth is still my number one crush. Jim Sturgess, however, has THE most perfect puppy dog brown eyes. This is the type of boy I’d have fallen desperately in love with as a teenager (and who would’ve broken my heart, of course. the bastard!).

2. Paul Newman

Back to blue! Okay, Chris Hemsworth is gorgeous but Paul Newman beat him to “baby-blue-eyed sex symbol” fame. What a legend! What a face. What a hottie!

1. Michael Schoeffling

Ha! Yes, Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles. What can I say? Jake Ryan topped my list HERE of My Top Ten Movie Crushes. As your biggest crushes are when you’re in your teens, a lot of the guys on that list are of course from my teenage years. Jake Ryan was the perfect guy to me back then (in a totally shallow looks-wise way). So I have to put the lovely Michael Schoeffling’s beautiful brown eyes at number one.

Green Eyes & The Ladies:

It feels like I should mention some actresses as well, such as Elizabeth Taylor, whose eyes were a deep shade of blue that sometimes appeared violet and who was lucky enough to be born with a “mutation” of a double row of eyelashes!! (I had never heard that until I looked people up when putting this list together). Also, seeing as I have neither blue nor brown eyes, I felt like I should give a shout-out to all the AWESOME green and hazel-eyed people out there. There are lots of beautiful green-eyed actresses but not actors for some reason. I read that green eyes are more common in women but that was somewhere on the Internet and the Internet is full of LIES, so… Who knows! Anyway, here are a few actresses with lovely eyes (yeah, mostly green as green-eyed girls rock):

Evangeline Lilly
Scarlett Johansson
Angelina Jolie
Emily Browning
Charlize Theron
Melanie Laurent

And the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen belong to actress Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, who was specifically hired for the (great) movie I Origins, a film in which the plot revolves around the eyes and their mysteries. I wondered throughout the movie if they were faked but they’re indeed her actual eyes with the unusual markings and different colors. Gorgeous!