My Top Ten Reese Witherspoon Movies

Happy 42nd Birthday To Reese Witherspoon.

I’ve liked Reese Witherspoon ever since The Man In The Moon back in 1991. I’ve even liked all her girly romcoms despite not being a girly romcom girl. She comes across as so wholesome & likable (which I’m sure some people find annoying). I do wish she’d find a different sort of role that would make Hollywood take her more seriously as an actress, though. She was very good in Walk The Line but it still feels like she’s somewhat ignored even though she has an Oscar. And I have to admit that I’ve not seen Wild (I just checked and it has disappeared from Netflix). Damn – I feel like that’s one I really should’ve seen before making this list. Seems like a more gritty role than usual?

Well, I’ll add Wild once I’ve seen it. And, of course, A Wrinkle In Time (released tomorrow in the UK – 4.2 rating on IMDb. Ouch!). Of all that I’ve seen (counting down from 19), these are My Top Ten Reese Witherspoon Movies:

19. Sing
18. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
17. American Psycho
16. This Means War
15. Little Nicky
14. Water For Elephants
13. Four Christmases
12. Penelope
11. Monsters Vs. Aliens

TOP TEN:

10. S.F.W.

9. TIE: Sweet Home Alabama & Just Like Heaven

8. Mud

7. Election

6. The Man In The Moon

5. Legally Blonde

4. Fear

3. Walk The Line

2. Pleasantville

1. Cruel Intentions

Yep, I love Cruel Intentions. I don’t apologize. But I do apologize for Fear being way too high. It’s really shit but it’s a guilty pleasure. And I like that roller coaster scene

Saw But Don’t Remember Well Enough To Include In List:

Twilight, How Do You Know

Some I’ve Not Seen:

Jack The Bear, Freeway, Overnight Delivery, Best Laid Plans, The Importance Of Being Earnest, Vanity Fair, Rendition, Devil’s Knot, The Good Life, Inherent Vice, Wild, Hot Pursuit, Home Again, A Wrinkle In Time

Part of me wonders if I liked the Just Like Heaven movie because I adore The Cure song.

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My Top Ten Songs That Are Actually About Sex

I think everyone knows that most songs are either about sex or drugs, right? I usually pick up on the sex ones but never the drug ones (I was shocked that Golden Brown by The Stranglers was about heroin! I’m so naïve).

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about doing this list for a while but there are so many dirty songs that it took me ages to put this together. I’ll have missed plenty! This time, I needed some help online. I did manage to verify that most of these are indeed about sex (Dave Grohl – you naughty boy! He’s a big fan of doing what his is about, apparently). But some are my own interpretation (or dirty mind, maybe). I’m happy to hear from anyone who disagrees with any of these! I looked at a lot of different websites for these dirty songs but the site I probably looked at the most was songfacts.com.

For the most part, I’ve tried to choose ones that are slightly more “subtle”. I think the subtle ones are so much better than the really blatant songs about sex (rap is so blatant!). I especially like my number one – it’s subtle yet also so obvious if you give it the slightest bit of thought. I was just too young to give it much thought at the time it came out! Filthy.

I’ve decided to eliminate certain artists who seem to sing about sex in the majority of their songs. Filthy bastards! And most are really blatant anyway. So I’m leaving out songs by Aerosmith, Prince, Kiss, AC/DC, Van Halen, Mötley Crüe, and The Rolling Stones. Oh, and Led Zeppelin– all their songs are either about sex or Hobbits. And as there are so many, I’ll count down from 20 once again. Yeah, but I’ll still call it a Top Ten to be annoying. 😉

So here are My Top Ten Songs That Are Actually About Sex (counting down from 20):

Top Twenty:

20. Lady Gaga – The Edge of Glory
What It’s About: Orgasm
Lyrics: I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge. I’m on the edge of glory, and I’m hangin’ on a moment with you. I’m on the edge with you.

19. Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
What It’s About: Sex (not having to masturbate)
Lyrics: Wake me up before you go go. ‘Cause I’m not plannin’ on going solo. Wake me up before you go go. Take me dancing tonight. I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah.

18. Madness – House Of Fun
What It’s About: Buying condoms for the first time
Lyrics: Good morning Miss. Can I help you son? Sixteen today, and up for fun. I’m a big boy now, or so they say. So if you’ll serve, I’ll be on my way. (Thanks to the conversation on my review HERE). 😉

17. Loverboy – Lovin’ Every Minute Of It
What It’s About: A Vibrator
Lyrics: I’m not man or machine, I’m just something in between.

16. Dan Hartman – I Can Dream About You
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: I can dream about you. If I can’t hold you tonight. I can dream about you. You know how to hold me just right.

15. Grace Jones – Pull Up To The Bumper
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Pull up to my bumper baby, in your long black limousine. Pull up to my bumper baby, and drive it in between.

14. Bryan Adams – Summer Of ’69
What It’s About: Sexual awakening and, literally, “69”
Lyrics: It was the summer of ’69, oh, yeah. Me and my baby in ’69, oh.

13. The Beatles – Ticket To Ride
What It’s About: German hookers (the medical card German hookers had to prove they had no diseases was called a “ticket to ride”)
Lyrics: She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got a ticket to ride. But she don’t care.

12. Bloc Party – Banquet
What It’s About: Oral Sex
Lyrics: She’s got such a dirty mind and it never ever stops. And you don’t taste like her and you never ever will.

11. Duran Duran – Save A Prayer
What It’s About: A one night stand
Lyrics: Some people call it a one night stand but we can call it paradise.

Top Ten:

10. Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died In Your Arms
What It’s About: Orgasm (as in the Shakespearian meaning – no actual dirty lyrics. Nice job!)
Lyrics: Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said. I just died in your arms tonight.

9. Melanie – Brand New Key
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Well I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key. I think that we should get together and try them out you see.

8. Madonna – Like A Prayer
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: When you call my name it’s like a little prayer. I’m down on my knees I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there.

7. The Vapors – Turning Japanese
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics:
I’ve got your picture, I’ve got your picture. I’d like a million of them all round my cell. I want the doctor to take your picture. So I can look at you from inside as well.

6. Violent Femmes – Blister In The Sun
What It’s About: Masturbation. Although the Violent Femmes deny this.
Lyrics: Let me go on… like I blister in the sun. Let me go on… big hands, I know you’re the one.

5. Foo Fighters – All My Life
What It’s About: Oral sex
Lyrics: Hey don’t let it go to waste, I love it but I hate the taste.

4. Faith No More – Epic
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: It’s dark, it’s moist, it’s a bitter pain. It’s sad it happened and it’s a shame.

3. The Cure – Close To Me
What It’s About: Masturbation. Or Sex. Who knows for sure – it’s Robert Smith!
Lyrics: Just try to see in the dark, just try to make it work. To feel the fear before you’re here.

2. Billy Idol/Generation X – Dancing With Myself
What It’s About: Masturbation
Lyrics: When there’s no-one else in sight, in the crowded lonely night. Well I wait so long, for my love vibration. And I’m dancing with myself.

1. Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer
What It’s About: Sex
Lyrics: Open up your fruitcage, where the fruit is as sweet as can be.

I’ll talk more about Sledgehammer for tomorrow’s Music Video Friday. This is the kind of filth that I like – clever innuendo that kids wouldn’t pick up on. Plus I love Peter Gabriel. 🙂

Okay – there are way too many dirty songs. Here are some more & what they seem to be about:

Hozier – Take Me To Church (Sex)
Kelis – Milkshake (Shaking her boobies)
Missy Elliot – Work It (Sex)
Fleetwood Mac – Tusk (Mick Fleetwood’s penis)
Nirvana – Heart-Shaped Box (Uterus)
Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me (Sex)
The Pointer Sisters – Slow Hand (Sex)
ZZ Top – Pearl Necklace (Orgasm)
Whitesnake – Here I Go Again (Masturbation)
Cyndi Lauper – She Bop (Masturbation)
Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah (Orgasm)

And, okay – here are just a few of the thousands of blatant ones:

Sheena Easton – Sugar Walls (Vagina)
Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax (Sex)
Ted Nugent – Cat Scratch Fever (Sex) (Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand…)
Nina Simone – I Need A Little Sugar In My Bowl (Sex)
Azealia Banks – 212 (Oral Sex, possibly in a 3 way)
Salt-N-Pepa – Shoop (Sex) (I’ll forever think of Deadpool now)
Warrant – Cherry Pie (Sex)

Finally, I’ll end with the video for a f*^ked-up song that I’ve found bizarrely fascinating since the first time I heard it & which still pops into my head when making sandwiches. It’s clearly not about making sandwiches…

Detroit Grand Pubahs – Sandwiches

Marie Antoinette (2006) Review

It’s Day 3 of Coppola Week & I’ll be reviewing Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette. I reviewed her film The Bling Ring on Monday and her father’s 80’s classic The Outsiders yesterday. Tomorrow will, as usual, be a Top Ten List (My Top Ten Coppola Movies, of course) and I’ll finish on Friday with a review of a 1974 film from Francis Ford Coppola. Now let’s talk about the lovely Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette (2006)

Directed by Sofia Coppola

Based on Marie Antoinette: The Journey by Antonia Fraser

Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman, Judy Davis, Rip Torn, Rose Byrne, Asia Argento

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
The retelling of France’s iconic but ill-fated queen, Marie Antoinette. From her betrothal and marriage to Louis XVI at 15 to her reign as queen at 19 and to the end of her reign as queen and ultimately the fall of Versailles.

My Opinion:

It feels like I’d been wanting to see this movie for years. But as fellow movie bloggers will understand, I have a huge “To Watch” list & this one just kept getting put aside. I finally got up off my ass & watched it in preparation for a week of Coppola reviews when I realized that I’d already watched a few Coppola movies by coincidence. Well, damn… I think that I hyped it up too much in my mind while it sat on my To Watch list all these years. For the most part, I’m afraid to say that I found Marie Antoinette a bit boring.

There were three reasons why I really wanted to see this: 1) I think Sofia Coppola’s Lost In Translation & The Virgin Suicides are quite beautiful & brilliant and this appeared to have a similar look & feel. 2) It looked visually appealing from pictures I’d seen. 3) Coppola often chooses great music, such as the amazing Air score for The Virgin Suicides, so I was eager to hear what was on the soundtrack for this. 

Well, I can confirm that this was indeed visually appealing and I really liked that about it. The costumes, the castle, all that CAKE! So I have no complaints there. I also liked Kirsten Dunst just fine – she’s not a favorite of mine but I’ve always liked her okay (although I assume she’s nothing like the real Marie Antoinette! Her Virgin Suicides role was more fitting). Sofia Coppola really has a thing for the female butt, though, doesn’t she? Didn’t Lost In Translation start with a shot of Scarlett Johansson’s butt? Well, you see Dunst naked from behind as she’s dressed to meet her future husband then you see plenty of her throughout the film as everyone gathers around to dress her every morning. Is that what they did with royalty in the old days? No thank you! I like my privacy.

As for the soundtrack, Coppola once again chose some great music. I’ll never complain about hearing The Cure or New Order! But, for some reason, I guess I thought we’d hear much more of the music. It’s mostly prominent in a couple of montages but, scattered throughout, I didn’t notice it all that much. It’s a small complaint – I think I was expecting loads of modern(ish) songs set in a time period from the past but, hey, this isn’t some Baz Luhrmann film. I prefer Coppola’s films to his anyway so I suppose I prefer the way she used the music. This would certainly be a good soundtrack to own.

I’ll admit that my knowledge of history is crap so I won’t pretend to know a thing about Marie Antoinette (or about any history – it’s not a subject that has ever interested me for some reason). I have zero clue how accurate this movie is meant to be. I mean, I’m pretty sure Marie Antoinette wasn’t a cute blonde American girl and that everyone in France spoke English, right?! I take it that this film is just meant to be a bit of fun and that Sofia really just wanted an excuse to play with pretty dresses, powdered wigs, and cake.

I found it interesting if the basic storyline is accurate, though. I did read a (tiny) bit about Marie Antoinette after watching the movie & the broad, overall story does sound correct. I was expecting a dumb & slightly annoying character as that’s how the real Marie Antoinette is portrayed somewhat with the “Let them eat cake” quote but that’s not at all how she’s portrayed in this film. She’s young & a bit naive but mostly is a “little girl lost” just doing as she’s told in her arranged marriage. In the film, she’s also unfairly hated by the general public and used as a sort of symbol for their negative feelings toward the monarchy. From the little I read of the real woman, this was true. I was also surprised to read that there is no evidence that she ever actually said “Let them eat cake” and that it’s very unlikely that she did. Talk about unfair!

Hey, maybe I’ll actually try to find some Marie Antoinette documentary to watch now. If you’re looking for that sort of thing, though, you probably wouldn’t watch Coppola’s film. I didn’t watch it for a history lesson – I watched it for the imagery & the soundtrack and I think that’s the whole reason it was made, with the Marie Antoinette story just happening to be the film’s backdrop. With that in mind, it was an enjoyable enough film & Coppola once again did a great job with the look & sound but it didn’t stop it from ultimately being a bit boring and feeling far longer than its actual runtime of just over two hours. I’m glad I saw Marie Antoinette and I liked it okay. I was just a little disappointed as I wanted to love it.

My Rating: 6.5/10

CAKE!!!!!!!!

This is a good montage to watch if you want to get a feel for this movie. It features Bow Wow Wow’s I Want Candy:

And I have to include the New Order song, Ceremony, which is used in the film. Because I LOVE it:

My Top Ten Songs Where The Title Isn’t In The Lyrics

I get really annoyed when a song isn’t named what it should be. Such as: Why the hell isn’t Baba O’Riley by The Who called Teenage Wasteland?! They don’t mention the words Baba O’Riley at all in the song but they sing “Teenage Wasteland” over & over again!

Okay, it doesn’t REALLY annoy me all that much – there are bigger things in life to worry about. 😉 But I did think it would make a fun top ten list! Like last week, though, I’m going to be annoying & make this a Top 20 (there were too many!). Feel free to add any you think of – I admit that with this list I’ve only looked through what’s on my iPod so there will be loads of songs I’ve not thought of or not mentioned.

So here are My Top Twenty Songs Where The Title Isn’t In The Lyrics (ranked roughly according to how much I like the song – I don’t think the order is important with this one):

20. MGMT – Kids (Should Be: Take Only What You Need)
19. Massive Attack – Unfinished Sympathy (Should Be: Really Hurt Me Baby)
18. Led Zeppelin – Immigrant Song (Should Be: Ah Ah Ahhhhhhh AH!)
17. Death From Above 1979 – Black History Month (Should Be: Dunno. Maybe “Hold On”. But that’s a Wilson Phillips song…)
16. Blink 182 – Dammit (Should Be: This Is Growing Up)
15. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Brendan’s Death Song (Should Be: I’m Almost Gone)14. Bob Dylan – Subterranean Homesick Blues (Should Be: I have no idea… How about “Mixin’ Up The Medicine”!)
13. Interpol – Evil (Should Be: Rosemary)
12. New Order – Blue Monday (Should Be: How Does It Feel?)
11. Daft Punk – Instant Crush (Should Be: We Will Never Be Alone Again)

Top Ten:

10. Public Image Ltd – The Order Of Death
Should Be: This Is What You Want, This Is What You Get

I adore John Lydon & this Public Image Ltd song, which is used prominently in the shower scene in Hardware. Yes! I’ve managed to once again mention the movie Hardware on my blog! Anyway, it’s an awesome song title even if it’s not said – most of the titles in this list are better than my “Should Be” titles.

9. Blur – Song 2
Should Be: Woohoo!

Such a fun song! It’s apparently named Song 2 because it’s two minutes long plus I think it was also the second song on the album? I sometimes play it when timing my kid’s toothbrushing (because kids are meant to brush for two full minutes, right?). Well, it’s a fun way to brush teeth!

8. The Police – Synchronicity II
Should Be: Not sure – maybe “Many Miles Away”

I used to really be into song lyrics as a teen/early twentysomething – you know, the age when you have time to waste on that kind of shit. But I never looked into the lyrics to this one at all until now. Pretty deep stuff with this one! And pretty bleak. This is quite possibly my very favorite song by The Police, who I don’t think really got the credit they deserved. An excellent band & I think I now like this song even more after reading the lyrics but I have to say I still don’t understand the title. I’m too old to think about these things.

7. TIE: Gorillaz – Dirty Harry & Clint Eastwood
Should Be: I Need A Gun & Sunshine In A Bag

I love Gorillaz!!! Do any Americans here know their songs? I think they were far bigger in the UK. I’m actually reading Tank Girl at the moment because it was created by the same guy (Jamie Hewlett) who created this “cartoon band” (one member of the band being adorable Damon Albarn from that picture of Blur I posted for Song 2). These are my two favorite songs of theirs & it made sense to put “Clint Eastwood” & “Dirty Harry” together for this post. The titles are cool. The look of the band is cool. The songs are cool. They should be even bigger than they are!

6. Grandmaster Flash And The Furious Five – The Message
Should Be: Don’t Push Me

Seriously. Don’t push me. I’m close to the EDGE! 

5. The Who – Baba O’Riley
Should Be: Teenage Wasteland

I’ve not researched all of these songs but did of course look into this one. Here’s a bit about it from Genius.com:

Initially part of an idea (later thrown aside) of a follow up rock opera — Lifehouse — to Tommy, Pete Townshend wrote it after his experience at Woodstock. The name of the song is a combination of Meher Baba – an Indian guru that kept silent from 1935 until his death in 1969 who inspired Townshend spiritually, and Terry Riley — a musician and classical composer that also inspired him.

There’s actually a lot more to it if you want to read about it at Wikipedia – it’s an interesting read. But whatever the reason for the title, it’s a damn good song.

4. The Cure – Lullaby
Should Be: The Spiderman

I just really really like this song. 😉 Love The Cure.

3. David Bowie – Space Oddity
Should Be: Ground Control To Major Tom

Well, okay – I assume this title is a play on words after 2001: A Space Odyssey. I looked this one up too. Turns out this song is actually about alienation. I thought it was about a guy going into space! I’m so damn literal. This song has now gone up even more in my estimation. And I already loved it like crazy before. Because: Bowie. 🙂

2. Black Sabbath – Paranoid
Should Be: Not sure but any excuse to get Black Sabbath into a list… How about “I Am Frowning All The Time”

Black Sabbath have quite a few songs where the title isn’t in the lyrics (except Iron Man, of course). I almost used Black Sabbath but the word “black” is said, so – close enough! I do love the lyrics to Paranoid – you can tell that Sabbath come from dark, grey, dreary England… 😉

1. The Clash – Train In Vain
Should Be: Stand By Me

Okay – clearly The Clash couldn’t use Stand By Me as the Ben E. King song was such a huge hit. I’m thinking I like The Clash even more than I realized – this song also topped my list of My Top Ten Happy Songs. I love it! And Train In Vain is an excellent title even though I’m sure most people can’t name it.

Almost Mentions:
(I considered these but in looking up the lyrics, I ruled them out as at least one of the words was mentioned)
Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sitta
The Rolling Stones – Sympathy For The Devil
Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath
The Smiths – How Soon Is Now
Radiohead – Paranoid Android (how can I have not noticed that in this song, one of my absolute all-time favorite desert island tracks, there’s a voice saying the words paranoid & android in the background the whole time?!)

My Top Ten Happy Songs

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I didn’t realize I had so many songs that “make me happy” until I started putting this list together. I wouldn’t say that these are songs that cheer me up, exactly, as I tend to listen to angry heavy metal when I’m down. However, when I’m already in a good mood and the sun is actually shining (rare occasion in the UK), these are my favorite “happy songs” to listen to. A lot of these are pure cheese, I know… Don’t judge me! 😉

Counting down from ten to my number one favorite, here are My Top Ten Happy Songs:

10. TIE: Slade – Run Runaway & Matthew Wilder – Break My Stride

9. Wheatus – Teenage Dirtbag

8. Joe Jackson – Steppin’ Out

7. Electric Light Orchestra – Mr. Blue Sky

6. Kermit – The Rainbow Connection

5. Sweet – Love Is Like Oxygen

4. Hot Butter – Popcorn

3. The Cure – In Between Days

2. Supertramp – The Logical Song

1. The Clash – Train In Vain

Honorable Mentions:
Paul Simon – You Can Call Me Al
R.E.M. – It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Cat Stevens – If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out
Sugar Ray – Every Morning
Iggy Pop – Lust For Life
Kid Cudi – Pursuit Of Happiness
New Radicals – You Get What You Give
David Bowie – Magic Dance
Donovan – Sunshine Superman
New Order – Temptation

I had about a million honorable mentions – I really had to narrow it down! A special shout out to David Byrne as hearing his voice on any song always makes me happy as well.

Top Ten Lists:

I’ve had a list for ages now of just under 100 different top ten lists I’d like to do but just never seem to get around to putting the posts together. Does anyone like these top ten lists? Should I keep doing them? I was thinking of aiming to post them on Thursdays (when I have the time). They’re mostly movie-related but there are quite a few music ones as well. Sometimes it’ll just be a simple list like this one but other times I’ll explain myself (like I did with last week’s list of My Top Ten Band Names). Let me know what you think. I can’t guarantee every Thursday but I’d do my best. 🙂