My Blog’s August 2016 Recap

Happy September, everyone! I know I say this same sort of thing every month but I’m serious this time: When the hell did it suddenly become September?! Ahh… Back to school, after school clubs, no holidays & having no life. Not that I have a life any other month of the year anyway. Oh, and then it’ll be winter & I’ll moan even more. God I hate winter. Oh wow – I’m sounding so positive! Here’s a recap of what I posted in August…

POSTS

My Most Popular Post: Stranger Things Poster Art By Kyle Lambert. Holy shitballs – people love Stranger Things! I had a lot of comments on this post. I didn’t say much other than that I was watching it & that I liked the above artwork by artist Kyle Lambert. I did really enjoy the show & I want to see more. The hype was a bit much, though, and the “1980s” thing felt too forced sometimes. But, hell, I adore that decade so I’m not going to complain about that too much.

My Favorite Post: The Legend Of Billie Jean, Less Than Zero & Private School “80’s Quickie Movie Reviews” Post. Speaking of the 1980s, my favorite post was probably the one with my three short reviews of movies from my favorite decade. I’ll always love discussing & reminiscing about movies from this time period, even though I’m pretty much on my own when I do. This post got 5 comments & hardly any views. Ha! Don’t care – I’ll never stop posting about movies that no one under 35 has seen. (Btw – there were boobs in that post. Maybe it’ll get some views now…) 😉

*Baby Dory is one of the most adorable things ever

MOVIES REVIEWED

My Most Popular Movie Review: Finding Dory

All Movies Reviewed (ranked best to worst):
The Legend Of Billie Jean
Pete’s Dragon
Finding Dory
The Book Thief
Lights Out
Swallows And Amazons
Less Than Zero
Paper Towns
Private School

MOVIES WATCHED

In Cinema (ranked best to worst):
Pete’s Dragon
Lights Out
Swallows And Amazons

At Home (ranked best to worst):
Carol
The Good Dinosaur
Fright Night (2011)
The Invitation
Pan

TOP TEN LISTS

Top Ten Celebrities With Color Names
Top Ten Madonna Songs
Top Ten Christian Slater Movies
Top Ten Tim Burton Movies

SEARCH TERMS

My Top Search Term: “Jennifer Connelly white top”. The pervy Googlers strike again! Okay, there’s the photo of said white top above. Various versions of this search term come up a lot – the photo is from the rather bad film Career Opportunities, which I reviewed HERE for my John Hughes Blogathon. The post also contains a pervy gif of Connelly suggestively riding a toy horse while wearing said white top. I apologize – I clearly encouraged the pervy Googlers with that post…

My Favorite Search Term: “film mit killer penis”. It’s my favorite this month because WTF is that? I can usually figure out why a search term brought someone to my blog but, nope, not this time. Were they trying to type “film WITH killer penis“? If so, I’m still pretty sure I haven’t written about a movie with a killer penis. Were they searching for the Tromeo & Juliet penis monster from my Class Of Nuke ‘Em High review? Eh. Maybe.

Here are my top search terms for the month:

BOOKS

I kept it in the King family with my selection of books in August!

Book I Reviewed: The Bazaar Of Bad Dreams by Stephen King

Book I Finished Reading: Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King

Book I Started Reading: 20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

August was the first month where I didn’t manage to watch or review anything from my 2016 Blind Spot list. Too busy. Oh well – I promise I’ll still do 12 by the end of the year. I realized that I put three horror movies on my list so I plan to post reviews of all three in October (including Phenomena, starring Jennifer Connelly once again in a white top!). I’ll probably post the missing Blind Spot review in November. You all told me last month that it should be Zodiac so I’ll try to make that my November post & then Akira in December.

For September, I’m again going to take it easy on posts due to lack of time for blogging. I have more of my “lazy but fun” actor top tens already written & scheduled for the entire month (yay me!). Oh, and Music Video Friday is ready to go for the entire month as well. No one looks at those posts. Don’t care – I like ’em! 😉 I’ll post reviews of movies I see in the cinema but I mainly want to spend September writing my horror movie reviews for my usual October Month Of Horror.

Upcoming Movies:

I missed out on lots of movies I wanted to go to in August (again, too busy). Not sure what I’ll manage of this month’s cinema releases but I’ll probably see Sausage Party this week. I think Kubo And The Two Strings looks good so we’re very likely to go to that one as a family. Not sure how I feel about Blair Witch – I’ll probably watch that at home if it gets halfway decent reviews since (shock horror!) I liked the original film. Does this ruin my movie blogger cred? I’d rather have a root canal than watch Bridget Jones’s Baby! The Girl With All The Gifts looks like my type of thing so I’ll attempt to make it to that one. Swiss Army Man sounds SO completely WTF that I HAVE to watch it eventually but I’m not sure if it’s worth a trip to the cinema.

Finally, I’m very much looking forward to Tim Burton’s Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children. I read the book (which I reviewed HERE) and said while reading it that Tim Burton should make the film if they decided to adapt it. Such a perfect choice – I can’t wait to see what he does with it even though I wasn’t the biggest fan of the book overall.

Okay – I always end these with a music clip related to something I posted or watched in the past month. So I’m just going to go ahead & once again post the theme song from The Legend Of Billie Jean: Pat Benatar’s Invincible. Because it’s awesome. Enjoy the glory of 1985! 🙂

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Gimme An ‘F’ (1984) Review

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Gimme An ‘F’ (1984)
aka T & A Academy 2
aka Cheerballs

Directed by Paul Justman

Starring: Stephen Shellen, Mark Keyloun, Jennifer Cooke, Lisa Wilcox, Beth Miller, Daphne Ashbrook, John Karlen

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDB)
Can a squad of misfit cheerleaders with an over-age trainer possibly win the big cheerleading competition? Looked down upon by the other teams, it will be difficult. Their lack of skill and talent make it even harder.

My Opinion:

This cheesy 80’s cheerleading sex comedy is my dirty little 13-year-old secret. I watched this so damn much at that age and for years I’ve been desperate to own it in some way but it was quite obscure & I was never able to find a copy. Well, this being 2015 and not 1984, it’s made its way to YouTube so I watched it for the first time in years a few months ago. Hilarious!!! It’s so damn bad. I love it.

Here’s the story: When I was 13 (actually, I was possibly only 12), I got a regular job babysitting a boy of about eight. This was back in small-town American Eighties when that was common – the thought of leaving my kid at home alone with some idiot 12-year-old nowadays seems freaking insane! Anyway, I was lucky as the kid was a real sweetheart. We’d usually have some supper & watch a kids’ movie together then he’d go straight to bed with zero fuss. That kid was awesome. What was even more awesome, though, was the collection of slightly dirty movies that his parents had & that I would then spend all night watching until they came home drunk at about 2:00 in the morning & paid me way too much because they were all drunk & happy. They had a collection of videotapes full of stuff they’d obviously recorded off the one & only movie channel we could get in our town (Showtime, if I remember correctly. We didn’t have it. I wanted it).

One movie they had that I watched a few times was the Brian De Palma film Body Double, which I remember nothing about now – I should track that one down too! Gimme An ‘F’ was the one for me, though. Actually, I think it was on the same tape as Body Double – I’m surprised I didn’t wear that tape out. So I’d sit there with my shoebox full of bracelet-making supplies and make friendship bracelets all night while watching a bunch of horny cheerleaders. Oh, I’d also bring a few teen magazines with me, too – usually Sassy or BOP.


Ahh, the good old days! Sorry – I suppose I should stop reminiscing & just talk about Gimme An ‘F’ (also apparently called T & A Academy 2 or Cheerballs. Seriously? Cheerballs?!?!). Anyway, this Oscar-worthy screenplay involves a group of sweet, innocent, virginal cheerleaders called the Moline Ducks and they totally suck (at cheerleading). They go to a cheerleading camp in a place called Beaver View (haha – very funny) where they are trained by twentysomething professional cheerleaders (one being a hot male cheerleader). We have several squads but the important ones are: The Falcons, who are the best & whose captain is an ice-cold bitch…

The Demons, who are a squad of skanky sluts… 

And, of course, the sweet little Moline Ducks, who don’t have a hope in hell of winning the competition at the end…

The Ducks embarrass themselves when the squads all do a cheer to determine which professional will train them. Luckily, hunky male cheerleader is there to cheer up our main Duck after her appalling performance.

She soon falls for hot, older cheerleading dude and blah blah blah virgin and blah blah blah sexual tension followed by blah blah blah sexual awakening. I’m not here to tell anyone to watch this. Don’t! It’s so damn cheesy & soooooo 1984 and watching it now, as an adult, I’m not sure what I saw in it.

Okay, screw it – I’m lying. I know exactly what I saw in it. Roscoe! Yeah, that guy in the above picture. I’ve never been the type of girl to go for the usual type of boy. Maybe this movie is to blame for that?! Anyway, the handsome cheerleader did nothing for me. No thanks! I had a massive crush on the wild & wacky Roscoe, who was another one of the trainers. Roscoe has a big boner for the ice-queen captain of the evil Falcons squad & does all he can to win her heart (well, I don’t think it’s her heart that he wants…). Anyway, his final effort is to put on that weird ass Mad Max type outfit up there and to spit out some (fake?) blood as the girl goes past. Honestly, that scene was hot. This finally turns her on & she licks it off his face.

Then they go behind the bushes & you see their clothes go flying in the air while she goes “Gimme an F! Gimme a U!” and I was always like “U? That’s not how you start to spell Falcons…“. Lol. Unfortunately, no guy ever put on Mad Max gear & spit out fake blood for me. (It totally would have worked) 😉

The filthiest this movie got was when one of the professional cheerleaders had sex with the owner of the Beaver View camp (the dude who was Lacey’s husband in Cagney & Lacey). Anyway, this is the closest we get to seeing boobs. Check out those patriotic nipples!

For reasons too boring to explain, handsome male cheerleader bets Lacey’s husband that he can train The Ducks to beat The Falcons in the competition. And (SPOILER, not that it matters…), The Ducks do well after sexing it up & doing a dirty routine thanks to our main sweet blonde girl’s sexual awakening.

Well, you get the idea. I have to say the images make the movie look dirtier than it is. Handsome cheerleader decided to not take advantage of the innocent Ducks girl. But he did do a sexy underwear dance in the steamy shower room for her. It’s absolutely hilarious. Watch it! I BEG YOU. That shit is funny. I’ll put the clip at the end. GOD I love the Eighties!

I’ll shut up now. I suppose I have to give this a rating but how do I rate a movie that I know is awful yet I have really fond memories of it? Yes, I’ve watched this once again while writing this & I do still like it. I was really upset when I lost that babysitting job because the family moved away to another town, removing my ability to ever watch Gimme An ‘F’ again (until now). I had to make do with my friend’s stash of saucy movies that she recorded late at night when her parents were asleep. But all she had was About Last Night… & Bolero – they were never as special to me as Gimme An ‘F’.

My Rating: 7/10

THE UNDERWEAR DANCE. Please watch this. Please! I laughed my ass off watching this again as an adult.

And here’s the saucy routine The Ducks do at the end of the movie. It’s so tame!

Okay, if those have whet your appetite, you can watch the full movie HERE.