My kid watched Jungle Cruise with a friend yesterday. I’ve not seen it so asked her if she’d like to write a quick review for my blog. So here’s a 12-year-old’s opinion of Jungle Cruise… 😊
Jungle Cruise (2021)
Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra
Based on The Jungle Cruise by Walt Disney
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Édgar Ramírez, Jack Whitehall, Jesse Plemons, Paul Giamatti
My kid’s review
short synopsis :
🌴🛳
lily houghton has a goal she’s trying to reach. she needs the tears of the moon to heal sicknesses, fevers etc. she steals the arrowhead, which helps her locate the tears, and sets off to find them. though others want the arrowhead as well and go after her. lily runs off looking for a cruise with a skipper and they make a swift escape 😁
my opinion :
👍👎
it was decent. it got a bit slow at times and i got a little bored during parts of it but big twists kept coming that stopped me from getting really bored ( even though i’m smart enough to guess the plot twists before they even happen because they’re all cliché 🙄 )
it could have been better though because lots of it was predictable and quite often the stuff would chop and change way too quickly and i’d look away for a few seconds then not know what was going on.
Happy Birthday To Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock), who turns 47 today.
I have to admit that I’m only a recent fan of The Rock. I don’t watch wrestling so didn’t really notice him until he became a big blockbuster movie star (I’m not talking about shit like Tooth Fairy). Also, he seems so sweet & likable on Twitter, etc. I like an actor who doesn’t seem like a dick in real life! Mostly, though, I’ve become a bit of a fan thanks to my daughter. She loves The Rock! Which means I’ve seen a lot of his movies that I otherwise may not have bothered to watch. I think it’s adorable that she likes him. Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger for my generation, The Rock is the big action star for her generation.
There’s still a lot I haven’t seen, though, as he’s done so many of the types of movies that aren’t really my thing (Fast & Furious, etc). I’ve listed all I’ve not seen at the end. So, at the moment, my “Top Ten” is a cheat as I’ve only seen nine. Oh well. I can add to this list later. I’ll definitely be watching the next Jumanji movie (loved the last one).
So for now, these are My Top Ten (nine…) Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Movies, counting down to my favorite:
9. Baywatch(Good god this was horrible! You know it’s bad when it’s lower than Tooth Fairy. And, no – the kid hasn’t seen this one.)
Movies I’ve Not Yet Seen: Longshot, The Mummy Returns, The Scorpion King, Welcome To The Jungle, Walking Tall, Doom, Be Cool, Gridiron Gang, Southland Tales, The Game Plan, Get Smart, Planet 51, Why Did I Get Married Too?, The Other Guys, Faster, Fast & Furious 5 & 6 & 7 & 8, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Empire State, Pain & Gain, Snitch, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Hercules, Jem And The Holograms, Central Intelligence
Starring: Florence Pugh, Lena Headey, Nick Frost, Jack Lowden, Vince Vaughn, Dwayne Johnson
Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb) A former wrestler and his family make a living performing at small venues around the country while his kids dream of joining World Wrestling Entertainment.
My Opinion:
Wow. I enjoyed this film waaay more than I was expecting! First of all, I better point out that I’m not a wrestling fan whatsoever and have zero knowledge in that field. So I enjoyed this as a really fun piece of entertainment, however close to the true story this movie may be. I have no idea but I’m sure the rise to fame wasn’t quite as simple as portrayed (but movies always exaggerate that). I see this is based on a documentary about the same people (The Wrestlers: Fighting with My Family) so I’m sure that’s worth watching if you’re a wrestling fan and want something that’s going to be more factual.
I have to say that I was never a fan of The Rock but, for some odd reason, my daughter loves him. So he’s really grown on me as I’ve now been forced to watch so many of his movies. Well, FYI: He’s hardly in this but that doesn’t hurt the film in the slightest. This story is about the female pro wrestler (Saraya “Paige” Knight) and her (very British!) wrestling family. The Rock does have a (quite cheesy) cameobut the family are a riot and their story was so bizarrely heartwarming (for a family that regularly bodyslam the shit out of each other). Seriously – as someone who’s very rarely a fan of comedy in movies these days, I have to say I laughed (or at least smiled) quite a lot throughout this film. Especially during scenes involving the parents, played by Lena Headey & Nick Frost. They were hilarious. Give me Headey’s character in this over Cersei! I’d love to see her two characters in the ring together. I think Cersei would have her ass kicked.
I really think this is one of those movies that has something for everyone. It’s a great family film, though not for kids too young due to some saucy language (which isn’t something that bothers me since I have a potty mouth). The family are funny yet lovable and you can tell that they’re very close. There’s some jealousy when one of them becomes a big star but the family never come across as fake and nothing feels over the top: They feel like a slightly bonkers but real family who could be living next door to you. You can tell they have a true passion for what they love, which any viewer can relate to whether or not they share that same interest in wrestling. Lovers of sports as well as haters of sports (like me) should all get something out of this movie. It was also great seeing a typical British community portrayed in the film and seeing how wrestling brought them together. I had no knowledge of this film beforehand so the English setting (in the beginning) was a pleasant surprise. What can I say? I really enjoyed this film! About a family of wrestlers!!! Huh.
I’ll keep these fairly short. I have 5 more recent films to discuss after these so here are two quickies for two enjoyable movies that definitely won’t be winning any Oscars…
Skyscraper (2018)
Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Neve Campbell, Chin Han, Roland Møller, Noah Taylor, Byron Mann, Pablo Schreiber, Hannah Quinlivan
Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia) The story follows a former FBI agent who must rescue his family from a newly built skyscraper, the tallest in the world, after it is taken over by criminals and set on fire.
My Opinion:
Yeah, this was silly. Die Hard with extra cheese. I love how when the below poster came out, people laughed at how it would be impossible for a human to make that leap. No shit – it’s that kind of movie. No human could do the majority of what The Rock does in this (and in most of his movies). Sometimes you just have to sit back, eat your popcorn, and enjoy the ride. I laughed out loud a few times at the ridiculousness. But that’s okay sometimes! This is far from “good” but it’s an enjoyable enough disaster movie. It’s better than some & worse than some in this genre. As for Dwayne Johnson disaster movies, I liked it a little less than Rampage but definitely more than San Andreas.
Johnson was the same as always in this. He’s likable in these sort of roles. He definitely has a certain charm going on. I’m not sure when I started liking him? He’s not my type of actor AT ALL. I think it’s because my kid seems to like him & that’s cute. He’s the big action star of her generation like Arnold Schwarzenegger was for mine, I guess. I liked that Neve Campbell’s role didn’t have her being the completely useless wife that needs rescuing. Well, she does need rescuing since she’s stuck in a massive, burning skyscraper that she can’t scale like King Fucking Kong the way her hubby The Rock can! But she’s smart and makes some decent decisions. Their two young kids (a girl and a boy) are adorable (so that you of course want their hero dad to rescue them).
The baddies are cliché but I’d be disappointed if they weren’t in this type of film. And Enter The Dragon once again proves what a massive influence it still has on filmmaking with an over-the-top “hall of mirrors” scene that you know from the start will play a big role at the end (just like when The Rock fixes his wife’s phone – we all saw that coming!). Whatever. This movie was silly fun. And someone at our showing thought it would be funny to go outside & pull the building’s fire alarm 15 minutes before the end, making the entire cinema have to evacuate. But we were allowed back in to watch the predictable ending. Yay.
My Rating: 6.5/10
Tag (2018)
Directed by Jeff Tomsic
Based on It Takes Planning, Caution to Avoid Being It by Russell Adams
Starring: Ed Helms, Jake Johnson, Annabelle Wallis, Hannibal Buress, Isla Fisher, Rashida Jones, Leslie Bibb, Jon Hamm, Jeremy Renner
Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia) The film is based on a true story that was published in The Wall Street Journal about a group of grown men, played by Ed Helms, Jake Johnson, Hannibal Buress, Jon Hamm, and Jeremy Renner, who spend one month a year playing the game of tag.
My Opinion:
I’ve heard very little about this film but also found it silly yet quite enjoyable. And I love that it’s based on a true story. Seriously! A group of 9 friends have been playing the game of tag since high school (23 years ago). The article about the real guys is fascinating – here’s the link: It Takes Planning, Caution to Avoid Being It by Russell Adams.
Now, there’s no WAY they actually do all the crazy over-the-top stuff that’s in this film (they’d all be dead by now) but they show some clips of the real guys at the end and they do go as far as dressing up in disguise and hiding in bushes to tag each other. The article mentions that they have to instruct fellow employees when the game is on to not let certain people into the building. And a couple of their poor wives have had the fright of their lives when their husbands have been tagged. Crazy! But quite sweet. I like how the game has kept this group in contact for all these years (it’s played every year for all of February – I think it was May in the film). And the film gets the slightly cheesy point of the importance of friendship & “staying young at heart” across quite well at the end.
As for the movie itself, it’s funny. I don’t know if it does the true story justice or not, though, as it clearly ramps things up more than it needed to as it’s a pretty fascinating story anyway. Jeremy Renner is the main one they’re all eager to tag as he’s never been “it”. He’s like some kind of crazy ninja assassin, which isn’t very realistic. Hell, one of the 9 real life guys is now a priest! Hilarious. I doubt any of them are ninja assassins. And I doubt any of the real wives are as into the game & competitive as Isla Fisher, who once again plays “crazy bitch”. I think a better film probably could have been made of this story but, if you go into it knowing it’s a great concept that’s had the typical Hollywood exaggeration treatment, you should have fun with it. It was a good day out for the hubby & me as I think we needed a simple film to de-stress that day.
My Rating: 7/10
Oh! Tag had a great soundtrack too. Mostly old school (well, 90’s) hip hop with some Ozzy, Danzig & Pixies thrown in. So that helped our enjoyment as well. Here’s a sample of A Tribe Called Quest & The Pharcyde in this film…
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Malin Akerman, Jake Lacy, Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb) When three different animals become infected with a dangerous pathogen, a primatologist and a geneticist team up to stop them from destroying Chicago.
My Opinion:
Went to this movie the other night with the hubby & kid. It’s cool when the kids get older and the “family” movies get more fun! It’s probably the most extreme film the kid has now seen – it’s a fairly full-on monster movie. As far as family monster movies go (are there many of those??), Rampage was predictable and somewhat forgettable but a thoroughly entertaining popcorn movie. We all enjoyed it.
I may be starting to like Dwayne Johnson. I mean, I never paid much attention to him and I don’t think I’ve seen many movies he’s been in (I can only think of this, San Andreas & Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle). Oh, I suppose there’s Moana as well but he’s possibly the worst thing about that. Sorry! I don’t think he’s personally bad in it – I just don’t like Disney characters who aren’t timeless. I also really don’t like the Genie in Aladdin although I like Robin Williams. I want a Disney character, not a really obvious real-life actor. Oops – I’m off topic! The Rock is perfect for roles such as the one in Rampage and in Jumanji, which I actually liked a heck of a lot and found very funny. Weird how these big muscle guys end up in comedies or family movies so often. Well, Johnson is all he needs to be in this role. Is that a compliment? I think I mean it as one. I mean, it’s not like a movie like this is going to win anyone an Academy Award or anything.
The real star of this, though, is the albino gorilla (named George). Johnson’s character has helped raise George & taught him sign language but things all go to shit when a spaceship explodes with, like, science experiments that crash land in the Everglades and turn three creatures (including George) into enormous, raging monsters. The villains (those in charge of the experiments, including Malin Akerman) are cheesy as fuck but that’s the way villains should be in these sort of movies. Naomie Harris was good as the experiment expert (geneticist) who teams up with Johnson. Jeffrey Dean Morgan was mostly just distracting since he made me think about how much The Walking Dead sucks now. Who cares, though – this movie is all about the big monkey. George is cool. My kid loved him.
Rampage. It’s a monster movie. It’s cheesy but fun. It’s based on a video game that I know nothing about. Some have said it’s probably the best video game movie (as we know, they all suck major ass for some strange reason). No, it’s not a “good” movie but it’s fun & thoroughly entertaining. Yes, it’s probably now the best video game movie. There’s loads of action so, if you love watching monsters destroying big cities, you won’t be disappointed. It’s directed by the same guy who did San Andreas, which was a fun disaster movie but was also a truly bad film. Rampage has just as much destruction but it’s definitely a big improvement on San Andreas. And it’s cooler watching mutant monsters destroying cities than earthquakes. And there were no lovable big gorillas in San Andreas. Rampage is definitely the better film. I kind of want to give it a slightly higher rating…
I’m going to be CRUCIFIED for this list! So, in the spirit of Good Friday… Let’s do this. 😉
The fabulous Abbi of Where The Wild Things Are posted her Top Ten Nicolas Cage Roles (list HERE) and I was all “I don’t really like Nicolas Cage”. Then of course Eric of The IPC came by and was all “You suck! I hate you! I worship Nicolas Cage! Our friendship is OVER!”. Then Abbi said I should do my own Top Ten. So, screw it – I have! Remember I’m not a huge Cage fan and my list is my favorite movies he’s been, not my favorite roles of his. I don’t hate him – I just don’t exactly love him. Jesus – I’m going to get in more trouble over this list than I did for leaving Saving Private Ryan off My Top Ten Steven Spielberg Movies (a list I did HERE for the lovely Zoe of The Sporadic Chronicles Of A Beginner Blogger).
*deep breath*
Here we go….
My Top Ten Nicolas Cage Movies (counting down from ten) *going into hiding now*
(hahaha! yes, I know – he’s barely even IN my number one choice… sorry!)
Honorable Mentions:
Guarding Tess
Honeymoon In Vegas
The Family Man
National Treasure: Book Of Secrets
Peggy Sue Got Married
Face/Off
Werewolf Women Of The SS 😉
Not Seen and/or Saw Part Of But Don’t Remember Much: *ducks*
Raising Arizona
Moonstruck
Wild At Heart
Bringing Out The Dead
Rumble Fish
Cinema Parrot Disco 