Five Feet Apart, The Knight Before Christmas & Destination Wedding Movie Reviews

Five Feet Apart (2019)

Directed by Justin Baldoni

Starring: Haley Lu Richardson, Cole Sprouse, Moisés Arias

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The film was inspired by real life couple Dalton and Katie Prager, who both suffered from cystic fibrosis. Haley Lu Richardson and Cole Sprouse play two young patients with cystic fibrosis, who try to have a relationship despite always being forced to stay a certain distance away from each other.

My Opinion:

I admit it – I can be a bit of a film snob but these YA movie adaptations (and the books) are a guilty pleasure of mine. I tend to read the YA novels before watching the film adaptations but I didn’t in this case, so I can’t compare it to the book. I’m sure the book is better, as is usually the case, but I really liked this movie and the characters. It probably helped to not read the book for a change, as I never fully enjoy the movies when I’m comparing them to the book in my head the entire time.

This is very much like The Fault In Our Stars, so will have the same group of fans. In fact, I think I liked it more than that one? Fault has a higher IMDb rating as I think it’s just much more well known but I liked the characters in this one more and Haley Lu Richardson is VERY good in this. She won’t get any attention, however, as YA films don’t really get any respect but I found her very genuine & believable in a way that I didn’t really get from Shailene Woodley in Fault. I’m feeling extremely old, though, as the male love interest (Cole Sprouse) is one of the twins who played the son of Ross on Friends. Yikes! Anyway, these two of course fall in love (not exactly a spoiler as it’s so damn obvious that’s gonna happen) and they have good chemistry and I believed them as a couple. Again, more than the couple in Fault but I do like both films – I just slightly prefer the characters in Five Feet Apart (including a friend of theirs, played by Moisés Arias). I think it’s just a case of this book & movie not being as well known and being too similar as a part of the “dying teenage romance” sub-genre that it’s not had as much attention. I definitely recommend it to any YA fans.

I also didn’t know it was inspired by a real life couple (Dalton and Katie Prager) until I looked the movie up for this review. I suppose that also makes it feel more real. It’s heartbreaking but the film handles the situation well, without becoming too soppy or saccharine (which I can’t stand). It’s told in a straightforward way, though I’m sure the drama at the end was added on to make it more “exciting”. My only small issue with the movie is that the parents were barely in it – They focused SO much on only the teens. But I suppose that’s what a younger audience wants to see. It’s only a small complaint, though, as I thought this was a really good YA movie with strong characters & an especially good performance from Richardson.

My Rating: 7.5/10

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

Directed by Monika Mitchell

Starring: Vanessa Hudgens, Josh Whitehouse, Emmanuelle Chriqui

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
A medieval English knight is magically transported to the present day where he falls for a high school science teacher who is disillusioned by love.

My Opinion:

What can I say about this? It’s exactly what I was expecting from a cheesy Netflix Christmas romance. It’s stupid, of course. But sometimes you’re in the mood for this kind of thing. My kid is a fan of Vanessa Hudgens and we had fun watching The Princess Switch together so had to check this out too. I admit I was wrapping Christmas presents at the time, though, so this didn’t have my full attention. It didn’t need it. It’s honestly one of those movies that you stick on in the background while you’re doing other stuff. Wow – that sounds insulting. They won’t stick that quote on the movie’s poster! This movie is fine. I used to watch a lot of TV movies when I was young (and had the time for that sort of thing) & this movie is no worse (or better) than those. I’ll forget it in a year but it’s completely innocent & inoffensive. The Princess Switch is much better, though. I now have the urge to watch a Nancy McKeon or Melissa Gilbert TV movie from my era. I guess Vanessa Hudgens is becoming this era’s McKeon/Gilbert/Meredith Baxter (but those ’80s TV movies were more my thing – crime, murder, loads of drama & a bit of supernatural weirdness. Much better than romance!).

My Rating: 5.5/10

Destination Wedding (2019)

Directed & Written by Victor Levin

Starring: Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves

Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb)
The story of two miserable and unpleasant wedding guests, Lindsay and Frank, who develop a mutual affection despite themselves.

My Opinion:

Well, it’s obvious that I grew up in the Eighties so there was no way I was going to NOT watch a movie starring Winona Ryder & my beloved Keanu Reeves. It’s bad, though. Like, really bad. If it starred actors I hate, I’d have turned it off. But it’s actors I love so it was tolerable despite the fact that they didn’t shut the fuck up the entire time. I think the movie was just trying to be like Before Sunrise, etc, as it focuses on a couple who have just met and then spend hours talking to each other. And talking. And talking. And talking. But, with Linklater’s films, the conversation is brilliant. You want to listen to it. These two characters were just a little too annoying, though. However, I liked their attitudes as I’m a negative person too and would fit right in with them. But I wouldn’t talk so damn much as I know I have nothing interesting to say. They don’t seem to realize that they have nothing interesting to say either. Fuck it – I’ll give the movie an average score since it’s still Keanu & Winona and I still love the shit out of them.

My Rating: 5/10

Spring Breakers (2012) Review

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Spring Breakers (2012)

Directed by Harmony Korine

Starring:
James Franco
Vanessa Hudgens
Selena Gomez
Ashley Benson
Rachel Korine
Gucci Mane

Running time: 94 minutes

Plot Synopsis:
Spring break forever, bitches!

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My Opinion:

I have to be honest – I’m struggling to write anything at the moment and have been putting off doing reviews as I don’t know what to say. Spring Breakers is a tough one. What the hell can I say about it?!

First of all: Harmony Korine… I’d confused him with the director of Kids but it looks like he only wrote that one. I saw that years ago and barely remember it but do remember finding it pretty repulsive. Then I saw either Gummo or Julien Donkey-Boy (honestly don’t know which one) late one night and I ended up falling asleep in the middle of it and it merged into some nightmare I had and now just thinking about those movies gives me the creeps (whichever one it was – I don’t remember a damn thing!).

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What was the point of all that? I have no clue! I thought, as I believed he directed the offensive Kids and then another movie of his gave me nightmares, that I’d HATE Spring Breakers. Plus there’s the fact that I was never the “spring breaker” type and those portrayed in this film are the kind of self-absorbed twats I can’t stand. However, I kind of liked this movie. And I don’t know why!!!! I have no clue. Honestly. WTF?

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There’s no point saying much about the film – Anyone who actually wants to see this probably has by now. But it’s true when everyone has said that James Franco is the best thing about it. I’ve never been a fan, really, so this is probably the first performance of his that I did really find entertaining. It’s too bad he’s not in it for a bit longer – The movie did drag a little before he was finally introduced. I don’t think any of the girls did anything all that special, though, and those roles probably could have been played by anyone (sorry!).

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The reason I kind of liked the film overall is because I actually think there are three really good scenes (hell, that’s more than a lot of films have, I guess). The “look at my shit!” scene is great & is already a quotable classic, I don’t know why but I actually loved something about the Britney Spears/piano scene, and the “neon” scene at the end with the long walk down the pier or whatever (I try to stay spoiler-free in reviews) looked pretty damn cool at the very least! And the armed robbery scene at the beginning was quite artistic, come to think of it… So I guess that’s four.

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Summary:

I won’t analyze the movie. What’s the point? Is he showing us that these people are wrong? Or is he making this lifestyle seem really cool? He’s doing both, of course – he’s managed to keep his artsy fartsy fans happy while giving horny young idiots a movie they’ll think is cool because it’s full of tits & violence. So good job, Harmony Korine! I hated these people (although Franco’s Alien is a great creation) but we’re not meant to like them and I wasn’t offended as I found them so exaggerated anyway. The movie was entertaining & looked pretty cool & had some good memorable scenes & one great character. Good enough for me! That’s more than can be said for a lot of movies these days. So I kind of liked it in a weird way. I think. Or… I at least didn’t hate it!

My Rating: 7/10

WARNING: BELOW IMAGE NSFW
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And with that, I’d like to thank Mikey over at Screenkicker for the lovely award he gave me the other day: “The Gratuitous Nudity Award”. This is because I posted ONE gif of Chris Hemsworth’s lovely naked bum in Rush. So I’ve given you the above Spring Breakers picture to even the score. Don’t expect any more boobies on this blog anytime soon, though! 😉

Thanks again, Mikey! 🙂

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