Wank! | Cinema Parrot Disco

Don Jon (2013)

Directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Starring:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Scarlett Johansson
Julianne Moore
Rob Brown
Glenne Headly
Brie Larson
Tony Danza

Running time: 90 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)

Italian American Jon Martello (Gordon-Levitt) is a modern day Don Juan, with a short list of things he cares about: “my body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, my porn”. Although he has an active sex life with women he meets at nightclubs, he looks at pornography on the Internet habitually, preferring it to sex.

But one night while clubbing, he meets Barbara Sugarman (Johansson). Will she be the one to make Jon care more about a real live girl than his precious porn? (That bit via me)

My Opinion:

This is an odd one – I’m not sure how to go about reviewing it. Great directing effort from Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I like JGL so wanted to see how he’d done with this film and I think he did a good job as both director and star of the film. Did I like the film? Not sure. It’s a decent enough film but one I can’t relate to in ANY way, shape or form.

The characters in this movie are, well, not the type of people I’ve ever known in my life. They lead a totally different lifestyle to mine and care about completely different things to what I care about. I’m assuming they’re a little like those on Jersey Shore? Well, I’ve never watched that and don’t plan to. EVER. Being so self-absorbed & all that sleeping around & watching football & going to church once a week to tell the priest dude that you’ve w#*ked to porn 35 times in one week…?? Not to sound like a prude but I can’t relate to ANY of that. Is this what people in New Jersey do? Maybe I’m too Midwestern. 😉

So Jon w#*ks to porn in this movie. A LOT. I liked all the crumpled up tissues in the trash throughout this. (TMI?). His sister is ALWAYS typing on her phone in EVERY scene, even while in church. This I loved and, as I figured from the start, the sister would prove the wisest of them all. Best character in the film. Don Jon’s family were also quite likeable – his mom was great and Tony Danza was perfect as his dad. But I always wonder if people go up to him in real life and sing “Hold me closer, Tony Danza!” ever since Phoebe on Friends thought that’s what Elton John was singing. I bet Tony Danza finds that annoying when people do that. You know they must. I totally would.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Scarlett Johansson – these are the main characters and they’re the ones who are the hardest to like. So, obviously, this movie is about whether or not JGL’s Jon can change his ways and, without giving too much away, he does become a bit more likeable by the end of the film. Johansson? Well, she’s good in the role and it was probably quite fun playing such a psycho hose beast… Then there was the quite unexpected Julianne Moore role. I won’t say what her exact role was but it really wasn’t what I was expecting. She’s good in this but, well… It’s just a bit odd. That’s all I’ll say. Not sure I bought the ending of the film. It was a satisfying enough conclusion but, all in all, I’m not sure what point the film is trying to make beyond “meaningful sex is better than lots of meaningless sex”? Well, duh. Or “Girls have unrealistic expectations thanks to sappy romance movies & guys have unrealistic expectations thanks to porn movies”? Well, duh. I did think they needed to show Johansson going through as many tissues while watching her sappy romance movies as JGL does while watching his porn… (TMI?)

Summary:

A good effort from Joseph Gordon-Levitt both directing the film & starring as the churchgoing porn-addict lunkhead Jon Martello from New Jersey. The main characters are hard to like but some fun supporting characters, especially Jon’s family, help make up for this a bit. The moral of the story feels a bit pointless as it’s something we all surely know? Overall, I’m not exactly sure what the point of the film was but it’s an entertaining enough way to spend 90 minutes. But if you really want to watch some sort of sex addiction movie, Shame is much better (and far more raunchy, if that’s your kind of thing).

My Rating: 7/10

Stoker

Directed by Park Chan-wook

Produced by:
Ridley Scott
Tony Scott
Michael Costigan

Written by Wentworth Miller

Starring:
Mia Wasikowska
Matthew Goode
Nicole Kidman
Dermot Mulroney
Jacki Weaver

Music by Clint Mansell

Running time: 99 minutes

Plot Synopsis:

India Stoker’s beloved father dies in a car accident on her 18th birthday. Soon after, the mysterious Uncle Charlie comes to stay with India and her cold & distant mother. India never even knew her father had a brother and she starts to suspect that Uncle Charlie may not be all he seems.

My Opinion:

First of all, thanks to everyone for voting when I asked which film I should review next. Stoker was the winner.

I think it’s pretty well known that the inspiration for Stoker was Alfred Hitchcock’s Shadow Of A Doubt. Being a pretty big Hitchcock fan and having just watched that one this year (review HERE), I can certainly see how similar the films are and how much Wentworth Miller clearly must love Shadow Of A Doubt. As to be expected, though, it’s not as good as Hitchcock’s film.

I missed Stoker when it was in cinemas and I was so mad because it looked interesting & I really wanted to see it. But as it wasn’t Fast & Furious 23 or some shit like that, it was only on for one week at my local cinema. So, anyway, after fellow movie geeks seemed to love it despite some not so great reviews I think I had probably hyped it up too much in my mind & that may be why I was a little disappointed with the film.

I’ve never seen Park Chan-wook’s Oldboy and had wanted to do this review along with that one but just haven’t had time to watch it. I’m assuming it’s a better film with all the best bits of Stoker, like some great visuals and all that director-y stuff that I know nothing about, but with a better story. Stoker looked great & it had this wonderful creepy atmosphere that I really liked. But the overall story wasn’t all that shocking or original and, with a different director, I think it would be a very forgettable film.

I also think everyone did fine in their roles but no one really blew me away.
Mia Wasikowska was fine but I think plenty of other actresses could have played the role too. Matthew Goode has this insane look going on in his eyes so I think he was right for the role but, again, I think there are others who could have played Uncle Charlie and I can’t help but say that Joseph Cotten was a creepier Uncle Charlie in Shadow Of A Doubt. At least the character of India in Stoker has much more depth than Hitchcock’s Charlie, niece of the uncle with the same name. Nicole Kidman is also fine but she always is – I didn’t really feel like we were seeing anything new from her here.

Overall I just found the story too predictable. It was too much “style over substance” for me. I don’t think it was bad but, if you’re going to make a film so clearly inspired by Hitchcock, I think you need to do a better job on the suspense in the film. You’re not going to top the Master in that regard but there are other films that have achieved a growing sense of anxiousness more than Stoker does, which never exactly had me on the edge of my seat.

Summary:

Stoker is a very atmospheric film that is lovely to look at and one I’m sure that people who know anything about filmmaking would probably appreciate. In the hands of a less talented director (and without a certain shower scene), I think it would be a very forgettable film. It’s a good Hitchcock-inspired mystery but just can’t match his brilliantly suspenseful storytelling. But who can? Although it sounds like I almost hated Stoker, I did actually enjoy it. It’s a solid effort & I appreciate the attempt to make something other than the same old tired mainstream movie in this world full of horrible sequels, remakes, and “Ow, my balls!” comedies. Stoker is worth a watch for film fans but I would hope that everyone will have already seen Hitchcock’s biggest classics first to see the true master of suspense at work.

My Rating: 6.5/10

And I’m on a Movie Haiku kick again so here’s one for Stoker. Warning if you’ve not seen it – SLIGHT SPOILER: