I thought it would be a good time to repost this top ten for one of my all-time favorite movies, Stand By Me, as today would’ve been River Phoenix’s 51st birthday (R.I.P. – I’m still upset over that celebrity death). I’m reposting some of the posts I did for blogs that are no longer running. You can currently still see this original post at Silver Screen SerenadeHERE.
I find it difficult to talk about my “all-time favorite movies” as I could never do them justice. So, like My Top Ten Star Wars Dismemberments post for Silver Screen Serenade, I decided to just do another Top Ten of a favorite movie of mine.
I’d like to say a little bit about this movie, though. Stand By Me is very special to me. I love movies (obviously) but there aren’t too many that I’ve watched over and over and over and over again. There were really only two that I re-watched to a slightly disturbing & unhealthy degree: Aliens & Stand By Me.
Both out in 1986, these movies came along at a time in my life when I was a latchkey kid & only child (well, I’m still an only child). Our house was also very cold so my routine went something like this during the winter months at the ages of 12-14: Get home from school, turn the heating on, stick Stand By Me into the VCR (if it wasn’t already in there), grab a blanket, sit right up against the heating in the wall, and watch the 90 minute Stand By Me which would finish just in time for the parent to get home. It usually took until the junkyard scene for our old heating to finally warm me up.
Anyway, it was Stand By Me until I discovered Aliens. And to this day I’m still in trouble for having that playing when my mom got home one time & walked in to see the chest-burster scene. God, it wasn’t even that bad! It was much more tame than the one in Alien. At least she never saw my next after-school obsession: A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.
Wow – I’ve just made my early-teen self sound really pathetic. At least I wasn’t drinking & doing drugs, right?! Or searching for dead bodies…
As for Stand By Me, I never got in trouble for watching that one. In fact, I made my mom & grandma watch it with me once and they loved it. Why? Because it’s really good.
You have Rob Reiner & Stephen King, my two favorite people in their professions. You have a coming-of-age tale (I’ve always liked those) with a group of friends who were the same age as I was when I first watched this (I had a crush on them all except Vern, of course). You have a great voiceover from Richard Dreyfuss, the always adorable John Cusack in a small role, and a beautiful, bittersweet ending that may have made me cry a few times (okay – it did). A movie’s ending is very important to me as I think so many get it wrong but the ending of Stand By Me is perfection (as is The Princess Bride’s – thank you, Rob Reiner!). Finally, I love the 1959 setting and the music that was chosen for this film (especially the title song). I think it’s something that helps Stand By Me feel timeless in a way and made it something that could be loved by an ’80s kid as well as by her mother and grandmother.
I did eventually stop obsessively watching Stand By Me but I’ll never forget walking back from a college party with a guy one night when he suddenly said “Did you hear that River Phoenix died?”. It wasn’t like now where you can easily go online to check so I hoped he was wrong until I later saw a news story confirming it was true. That will always be the one celebrity death that really upset me as he was kind of a big part of my own coming-of-age years. Phoenix was amazing as Chris Chambers, especially considering his young age, and I still wish we’d been able to see much more of his work.
Huh. I guess I actually said quite a bit about Stand By Me! One of the slightly shocking things about Stand By Me, at the time, was the amount of swearing. And I loved it. This is a coming-of-age tale involving a group of four small-town boys. Guess what? Boys actually swear & say horrible things to each other! These characters felt real to me – they weren’t made to be PG-rated characters we wouldn’t buy into. This was rated R, right? Pardon my French but that’s fucking ridiculous. This is a beautiful movie about life, death, friendship, and growing up. Every 13-year-old should see Stand By Me.
Now let’s take a look at some of the horrible things that young boys say to each other! Here are My Top Ten Stand By Me Insults:
10. Piss up a rope!
Okay – I’ve never been entirely sure if this an insult or even what the hell it means exactly. Gordie loses a card game & shouts “Piss up a rope!” so I was never fully sure if he was telling the other guys to do that or if it was a way of saying “Shit!“, Either way, I like it even though it doesn’t really make any sense.
9. You four-eyed pile of shit!
Full exchange: Chris: You four-eyed pile of shit!
Teddy: A pile of shit has a thousand eyes.
With this one, it’s not the insult I like so much as the response. The two best characters, of course, are Wheaton’s Gordie & Phoenix’s Chris but Feldman was also great as the messed-up Teddy. He was slightly nuts & had some funny lines such as the one above, to the amusement of the other characters.
8. Then you won’t mind if we check the seat of your jockies for Hershey squirts, will you?
Full exchange: Vern: I wasn’t that scared. I wasn’t. Sincerely.
Gordie: Okay. Then you won’t mind if we check the seat of your jockies for Hershey squirts, will you?
Vern: Go screw.
Ha! Hershey squirts. Pants-pooping! Hershey squirts is just a really funny thing to say…
7. I’m gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!
Another Teddy line, this one isn’t funny but sad. Is it a horrible thing to say? Yes, but it’s a great Teddy moment and you can feel how upset he is when he says this to the man who has just called his father a “looney”. Seeing how these boys were all “damaged” in some way helped to make them all the more believable and helped the audience relate to and care about them.
6. You use your left hand or right hand to do that?
Full exchange: Teddy: Okay, you guys can go around if you want. I’m crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I’ll be waiting on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts.
Gordie: You use your left hand or right hand to do that?
Teddy: You wish.
Okay, I’m not sure if I entirely understood this one when I was young & watching this over & over again. But I think it get it now…. ! *no further comment*
5. Yeah, but you’re gonna be stupid for the rest of your life.
Full exchange: Teddy: This is my age! I’m in the prime of my youth, and I’ll only be young once!
Chris: Yeah, but you’re gonna be stupid for the rest of your life.
This is actually a very sweet moment in the film & the line is delivered in a way that says “I love you guys but I can’t say that because we’re male so I’m going to tease you instead to show you that I care”. As the voiceover says “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”
4. Lardass! Lardass! (Boom-baba Boom-baba)
Again, it’s not so much the insult that I like in this case but the moment. I love this bit of the film. It’s so juvenile & immature but it’s exactly the type of story that I’d expect a group of 12-year-old boys to enjoy. And I love the disgustingly awesome revenge of “Lardass”.
3. Why don’t you go home and fuck your mother some more?
Is this an awful thing to say? Yes. Have I heard real-life boys say similar (and much much worse)? YES! Along with my number one choice, it’s an important part of the movie, though, which I’ll discuss a bit more when I get to that one…
2. I don’t shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up!
Full exchange: Teddy: You’re a real wet end, Lachance.
Gordie: Shut up.
Teddy/Vern/Chris: I don’t shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up!
Gordie: And then your mother goes around the corner and she licks it up.
That final reply is good as well but I love the rhyming insult the three boys do together even more. Certainly much more innocent than the previous insult, I like the immaturity of this one and how it reminds us that these four boys are still just kids.
1. Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood
Anyone who has seen this movie probably already knew that this would be number one. It’s good for a number of reasons. First of all, it’s not exactly the greatest ever insult. Suck my fat one? Cheap dime store hood?? Nice try, though, Gordie! It’s likely something he’ll have read in some sort of pulp comic of the time and he’s trying to sound grown-up by saying it. And unlike a lot of the other insults, it’s delivered with absolutely no humor. Along with my third choice, this is the climactic moment in which these four boys have to make a stand (by me! ha!). It’s one of the many “growing up” moments in the film and these young boys deal with this in the only way they really know how at this age (by telling people to suck their fat ones & to go and fuck their own mothers).
Well, hopefully you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Maybe someday I’ll manage to do a proper review of Stand By Me and try to explain why I still love it so much.
I also re-posted my review I did of Zack Snyder’s Dawn Of The Dead (far better than Army Of The Dead!).
MOVIES WATCHED IN MAY (ranked best to worst):
– The Invisible Man(2020) – I’ve linked my full review. I thought this was a surprisingly good & effective horror thriller. – 7.5/10
– The Hunt(2020) – Reviewed this in full as well. It really went up in my estimation after thinking it over for a few days. I liked its idea & message. I appreciated its effort to be a smart satire on American politics. – 7.5/10
– Hud – Ended up writing too much for this so posted a separate full review this week. I love young Paul Newman so watched this not knowing he’d break my heart as he plays an absolute bastard. He’s fantastic, though, as are all the performances and I highly recommend it for the brilliant acting. I especially loved the characters played by Patricia Neal & Brandon deWilde and Melvyn Douglas was great as Hud’s father (he won an Oscar along with Neal). – 7.5/10
– Kind Hearts And Coronets – This was fun! I think it’s my first classic Ealing Studios film & I’d like to watch more now. And Alec Guinness was a delight in this! I reviewed this yesterday so here’s the the IMDb synopsisfor anyone who might not know it: A distant poor relative of the Duke D’Ascoyne plots to inherit the title by murdering the eight other heirs who stand ahead of him in the line of succession.” – 7.5/10
– Abominable – Reviewed this in full too. I’m not normally a fan of DreamWorks but I liked this one a lot. It may be my favorite of their animated films now. – 7.5/10
– Seconds – Been meaning to watch this for years as it sounded like it could be a creepy movie with a Twilight Zone type of story, which is exactly the sort of thing I love. And it was that kind of thing! Sort of. I enjoyed it. Reviewed it yesterday as well so here’s the IMDb synopsisif you’re curious: “An unhappy middle-aged banker agrees to a procedure that will fake his death and give him a completely new look and identity – one that comes with its own price.” – 7/10
– Happiest Season – Also reviewed this & I really enjoyed it despite not being a big rom-com girl. The characters really made this film. The two leads were good, especially Kristen Stewart, and their friends & family were lots of fun. Liked the rom as well as the com! – 7/10
– The Mitchells Vs. The Machines – Did a brief review of this. A great animated film aimed at all ages. I love it when they make a “family film” for everyone. Strong characters & good humor. And even a John Carpenter reference from the movie-loving teenager! – 7/10
– Army Of The Dead – Reviewed this too. I was really looking forward to this as I’m a big fan of Zack Snyder’s Dawn Of The Dead (despite Romero’s film being an all-time favorite of mine plus I normally hate remakes, reboots, etc). I admit to hating most of his other movies, though, other than Watchmen. This was fine. Fun but could have been much better. – 7/10
– Underwater – Kristen Stewart was also really good in this one although “action star” is an unusual role for her. Took a while to get to the cool stuff but that was fun & the ending was great. – 6.5/10
– Unhinged – This is one of those movies that I know isn’t a very good film but I liked it in that ’90s-style thriller kind of way. I enjoyed the ride! – 6.5/10
– Rent-A-Pal – This was a weird one, so I reviewed it in full as I do appreciate a weird film. It was better than I was expecting! A creepy character study of a lonely man’s descent into madness. Here’s the IMDb plot synopsis if you’re curious: “1990: David, 40, looks after his dementia mom. He uses a video dating service to no avail. He buys a “Rent-A-Pal” video tape and things change.” – 6.5/10
– Butt Boy – Speaking of weird films, I’d say you can’t get much weirder than this one! I reviewed this in full as well. Here’s the IMDb plot synopsis: “Detective Fox loves work and alcohol. After going to AA, his sponsor, Chip, becomes the main suspect in his investigation of a missing kid. Fox also starts to believe that people are disappearing up Chip’s butt.” So, yes, this movie is about people disappearing up the above dude’s butt. Not sure if I’d recommend this but it’s not actually a bad film and, if you do watch it, I guarantee you won’t forget it. – 6.5/10
– Good Boys – This was fine and I giggled a few times but only watch it if you like thoroughly inappropriate humor (I do). The three young boys are likeable, especially the first boy in that picture – he was sweet & hilarious, but it’s slightly uncomfortable to have them in such a filthy film. I read that when they asked the director what certain naughty things in the movie meant that he told them to go ask their parents. I think the movie just manages to get away with the crude jokes as the young boys remain innocent in the film and don’t understand a lot of what they see or hear. Such as when they find sex toys & have no idea what they are, resulting in a funny gift later in the film. Anál! (I have no idea if I used that thing above the letter A correctly). Well, it’s a fun but mostly forgettable movie. Enjoy this type of thing while you can. I’m still surprised when crude humor movies get made. Thought these kind of movies were banned now! Oh, and it’s yet another current movie that uses one of two old Grimes songs I loved before the Musk years. All her old stuff keeps ending up in teen movies now! – 6/10
– The Lighthouse – Pretentious bollocks! I should act all smart & say this is brilliant and a deep exploration of, um, I dunno… Mermaid vaginas, apparently? But, really, it’s just a couple of dudes who can’t handle being alone on an island so they get drunk, masturbate a lot, piss, fart, poop, dream about screwing mermaids, and eventually become violent. Because: Men. Or something. I’ll be nice & give it a decent rating for, um, it looking nice or whatever and being all black & white because it’s for smart people and only smart people like films with no color oh my god. And I guess they gave good performances. Or… Whatever. – 6/10
– The Good Liar – I watched this because I really like Ian McKellen & Helen Mirren. It’s one of those crime thrillers that unfortunately is a bit boring and drags in some places until it finally picks up at the very end & gives us an okay finale. I liked the ending enough that it made me up the overall score by half a point but I do wish the whole movie had been a lot better. Also, even though I liked it, the end is a tad too ridiculous but that’s never bothered me much with these types of films. The novel it’s based on is probably better & hopefully tied things up a bit more nicely than the movie managed to do. – 6/10
– The Woman In The Window – Meh. I read the book so was looking forward to this adaptation, especially as I like Amy Adams. This was a pretty dull “thriller” and they wasted some big name stars in very small roles in this. Disappointing. – 5.5/10
– Never Rarely Sometimes Always – This is an indie film (or, at least, has an indie feel – I have no idea what’s actually indie anymore) that I know is good as it has worthy performances and it feels very real. But this type of thing just isn’t for me. I gave it a chance due to good reviews, but…. Nah. No thanks. The actresses did do very well, though, and Sidney Flanigan did an especially good job as the teen with an unwanted pregnancy. Probably a far too difficult subject for some and this is a pretty heavy drama so best to avoid if you’d find the topic upsetting. And the pregnant teen is very hard to like but the whole point is that she has no support from her family (Man, I hated her dad). Far preferred these girls to those wankers on that Lighthouse island, though! – 6/10
– The Witches – Okay, I actually thought this movie was bloody terrible but I liked the main kid (Jahzir Bruno) and Octavia Spencer so much that I’m giving this an extra point to make up for the -1,000 points I want to subtract from it for Anne Hathaway’s dreadful performance and those horrible witches that I found far too disturbing for a kids’ film. I know they’re meant to be hideous but bloody hell! And Hathaway was so over-the-top and what in god’s creation was that stupid accent?! Honestly, the kid and his grandmother were so likeable and the beginning had great Motown music and the whole thing was going far better than I was expecting until those stupid ass witches showed up & ruined the whole film. Kind of important to get the witches right in a movie called The Witches! Disclaimer: I probably have no right to judge this anyway as I never read the Roald Dahl book NOR watched the 1990 film with Anjelica Huston that everyone seems to far prefer. – 5.5/10
– Cats – Yes, it’s as bad as everyone said it was. I’ve given it an extra point for having that one good song. I’m forever to going to have nightmares about that Rebel Wilson scene where she eats the dancing cockroaches. What in the actual Jellicle fuck was that?! – 3/10
Documentaries & Shorts:
– Dick Johnson Is Dead – Not sure why I put this on as I’m not big on documentaries so am not really a good judge & never know how to rate them. I suppose it’s a decent enough documentary exploring life & death. Here’s the Wikipedia synopsis: “Dick Johnson Is Dead is a 2020 American documentary film directed by Kirsten Johnson. The story focuses on Johnson’s father Richard, who suffers from dementia, portraying different ways—some of them violent “accidents”—in which he could ultimately die. In each scenario, the elderly Johnson plays along with his daughter’s black humor and imaginative fantasies.” Black humor is right up my alley but didn’t really work for me in this. I don’t know why. Sorry! It was a good idea for a documentary and I appreciate the effort but the whole thing, especially the funeral, was just too odd for me. Maybe I only like black humor when it’s fictional characters. – 6/10
– The Force Awakens From Its Nap – This Star Wars/ The Simpsons mash-up was really cute. Fun! And… That’s all I have to say. It’s a short. Very few shorts on Disney Plus aren’t good fun. We watch them a lot.
– 22 Vs. Earth – Another good short from Pixar, though not up there with their absolute best. Was good to see more of the 22 character and there were some funny moments. And I still think those kid soul thingies have adorable voices. But I still wish Soul was a bit better than it ended up being and I felt cheated by the end. More of Joe may have been better. Or more of Joe & 22 together.
Movies Rewatched In May:
– The Crow – I absolutely adore this film. I was in college when this came out so I think young wannabe-goth me thought this movie was cool as hell plus I loved the soundtrack and, of course, some of the film’s iconic imagery. It also has this tragic aura forever hanging over it because of Brandon Lee’s incredibly sad death during filming which probably adds to the cult status it’s seemed to achieve. Such a sad loss – I still wish we could’ve seen so much more of what Lee & River Phoenix had to offer (showing my age again! Sorry – I’ll never be over these two celebrity deaths!). Anyway, I admit I’d not rewatched this in years after watching it to death in my early twenties. Do I still love it? Oh yes, I’m glad to say that’s not changed a bit. Do I still think it’s good? Umm. Not really. This movie admittedly isn’t the greatest. My young judgment was clouded by its cool gothic darkness! Who cares? It’s still cool as shit. I still listen to the soundtrack. I still love this film and its tragic romance. I don’t care! I love it! Oh, and I just want to add that I had to leave a bunch of movies behind when I moved to the U.K. so I gave them to my grandma. She told me later how much she liked that movie The Crow that I left behind. My grandma is 92 now. She’s also clearly cool as shit. – 9/10
– Big Daddy – I like Adam Sandler too! I don’t care! So sue me! 🙂 I did a mini-review of this at the link if you’re interested. I admit he’s had some absolute duds but Big Daddy is easily a favorite of mine. I kind of want to give it half a point more but may be judged for already giving an Adam Sandler movie a higher rating than that Lighthouse wankfest above… – 7/10
– The Princess And The Frog – This is a better film than Big Daddy so should really be above it but I’m too lazy to move it now. I’d move it up if Tiana had been human for longer! She spent too long as that frog. I wanted more of cool human Tiana in pretty dresses. Where did that come from?! That’s pretty girly for me. Not enough human Tiana and the slightly too annoying Prince are the only negatives, though. Oh, and that other girl (Charlotte) is annoying too but she does grow on you through the film so we’ll forgive that. I remember this coming out just before Tangled and everyone seeming to love that one but I prefer this. I prefer how they stuck with the classic “Disney Princess” animation style for this film. What can I say? I’m old school. The songs are also better overall and I love the Almost There song & great animation in that scene. I like this one. It’s not perfect but is still a really good addition to the many Disney Princess films. – 7.5/10
– Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children– Already reviewed this so don’t need to say much but, yes, I’m a Tim Burton fan. This is definitely not one of my favorites but I still like its style and wanted Burton to make a film of it when I read the book as I knew he’d be the perfect choice. – 6.5/10
– Mars Attacks! – Not gonna lie, this Tim Burton film definitely isn’t a favorite either. But it’s so uniquely Burton that I can’t help but have some affection for it and its style despite thinking it’s not very good. And I miss having Jack Nicholson in movies! My kid is a Burton fan too so we’re still working through his filmography (she’s seen all the best already, though). Not sure what she thought of this one but think she liked Miss Peregrine okay. But nothing will live up to The Nightmare Before Christmas or Corpse Bride for her. – 6.5/10
BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS IN MAY
TV SHOWS WATCHED:
– Friends: The Reunion – I know some people have a weird hatred of Friends. Not sure why as it was a well-written show with strong characters. I really liked it. Phoebe & Joey helped a lot, though – easily the best & funniest characters. It was great seeing them all together again, even though they got James Corden to host the show. Why, God, Why?!?! Stop hiring that guy! Some of the guests were weird, too. What, you have time for Justin F*%king Bieber but not a lot of the regulars from the show?? Still, am glad they managed to get some good surprise guests from the show. And Phoebe and Joey are still the best. Matt LeBlanc made jokes that were references to the show that the other actors didn’t pick up on & it was adorable that he seems to actually be a fan of the show. Funny to think some of them didn’t really watch it while others did. And Lisa Kudrow was as funny as always and the most fun in this reunion show. Not many people could’ve pulled off the Phoebe character. Or Smelly Cat! She was so perfect in that role. They all were, really – they did a great job choosing this cast. Sad that we’ll probably never see them all together again but I’m glad they did a reunion interview show instead of some actual new episode/movie about the characters. Do NOT want that. It ended well so let’s leave these characters alone.
– Eurovision Song Contest 2021 – Ahh. Eurovision. It’s a love/hate relationship. As an American who didn’t grow up with this cheesy goodness, I can’t help but be a little fascinated by it and do watch it every year. Amazing how bad the songs are for a “song contest”! You’d think we’d get a good one far more often. To be fair, there have been a few decent ones in very recent years and of course some good ones from years ago (we have Eurovision to thank for ABBA after all, who won with Waterloo in 1974). Since I moved to the U.K. and started watching it, my favorite remains Lordi’s Hard Rock Hallelujah which won for Finland in 2006. HA! God that was cheesy/hilarious/catchy! Love it. There were a few songs that didn’t suck this year as well. But I’ve already forgotten them all as usual. The winner this year was Italy with the song Zitti e buoni by Måneskin. It’s a shame that Iceland’s Daði Freyr song this year wasn’t quite as good as what they would’ve used in 2020 as THAT song, Think About Things, is actually pretty good (it’s on my playlist!). Speaking of Iceland, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga was a thoroughly entertaining movie & completely captured the spirit of the contest. Loved that there were references to it & the song JaJa Ding Dong in the show this year. The songs are FAR too good in the film, though.
– My Name Is Earl: S1 E14-25, S2 E1-4 – Still working through rewatching this & really enjoying it again. The kid loves it (especially when there’s inappropriate humor).
– The Crown: S3 E7 – I’m going to get to the Diana years eventually! Still not feeling the cast in Season 3, which is why it’s taking forever to finish it. What even WAS episode 7?? Oh, it was the one focusing on Philip’s obsession with the moon landing. A bit meh but enjoyed the moon landing stuff & Philip meeting the astronauts.
– Grey’s Anatomy: S17 E6-9 – They’re still talking about Covid! Ugh. I know this may be the final season and I’d be fine with no longer having the obligation to watch this but I don’t really want it to end on the Covid season. But there aren’t enough good characters anymore since they kicked the majority off the show or gave them stupid deaths to kill them off.
– Pick Of The Litter: S1 – I liked this! I watched this after really liking the documentary of the same name. The documentary was better but I liked that the show gave us more of what happened with the guide dogs & those they were given to and how they had to work together with assistance at first to get used to their new dogs. What’s not to like about adorable puppies being trained to be amazing helpers and making a huge difference in someone’s life?
– The Flight Attendant: S1 – This was a weird one. It has amazing Saul Bass-inspired opening credits so that got me excited for a good murder mystery when I watched the first episode. The show was a big disappointment and the main character was flaky & very unlikeable so it was hard to give a shit about what would happen to her. Some of the other characters were okay, though, such as her lawyer friend and the dead hottie she wakes up next to in a hotel. But I didn’t really enjoy this show at all and this is why I don’t watch much TV as it feels like a huge waste of time unlike a bad movie only wasting two hours at most. Oh, I also liked Rosie Perez in this but her character has a weird subplot thrown in which I realized wasn’t going to be resolved in the end, meaning there’s going to be another season. Ugh. This is why I like movies! Most of them wrap everything up at the end (Unless a sequel is already planned, of course). I can’t be bothered wasting any more time on this show.
– Marvel’s M.O.D.O.K.: S1 E1 – What on Earth is this shit on Disney Plus?! Well, I watched one episode and that was enough. It’s like Robot Chicken if Robot Chicken wasn’t funny.
BOOKS READ:
I fully finished reading Roadwork by Stephen King in May, which I reviewed HERE last month. Not my favorite King book. I’ve now started re-reading The Running Man, his final story in The Bachman Books collection, which I’m enjoying much more than Roadwork.
BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH
I’ll maybe think about going back to posting individual movie reviews as I managed so many in May. I guess they don’t really take any more time than the long roundup posts where I try to review them all at once.
As we’re already into June, here’s what I’ve watched so far this month:
Stop Making Sense – 7.5/10
Misbehaviour – 7/10
When A Stranger Calls – 6.5/10
Upcoming Movies I Want To See:
Well, crap. I guess cinemas are open again. That’s nice for staff & those who feel safe to go, of course, but I won’t be going so I’ll be missing out on new releases. Really want to see A Quiet Place Part II as I really liked the first film. Also want to see that new Conjuring movie even though I don’t exactly love the Conjuring Universe (but I’ve seen them all so have to watch it eventually!). Looking forward to finally watching Raya And The Last Dragon tonight.
I usually end with a music clip from a movie I’ve watched for the first time but think I should go with something from The Crow soundtrack this time. Here’s Burn by The Cure….
Okay, these were two quite bizarre films that I watched recently so I figured I’d post a double review…
Rent-A-Pal (2020)
Directed & Written by Jon Stevenson
Starring: Wil Wheaton, Brian Landis Folkins, Kathleen Brady, Amy Rutledge, Adrian Egolf
Music by Jimmy Weber
Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb) 1990: David, 40, looks after his dementia mom. He uses a video dating service to no avail. He buys a “Rent-A-Pal” video tape and things change.
My Opinion:
This was a weird one (although not nearly as weird as the one I’m gonna review next). As in the plot synopsis above, a lonely guy buys a videotape called “Rent-A-Pal” in which a dude named Andy says he’ll be your friend. This movie was actually quite good! It’s one of those movies that looks like a full-on horror film looking at the poster & images but it isn’t really – it’s more of a psychological thriller following a lonely man’s descent into madness. So not all horror fans are going to go for it but it’s also probably way too strange for a more mainstream audience. If you like fairly low budget indie movies (I’m just assuming it’s both of those) with a strange story, this might be one for you. And be aware that it’s nothing like Ringu before you possibly think that based on the creepy videotape thing.
And now for a confession: Please do NOT let this make you not watch this if you’re interested as he’s great in this but I totally watched this due to my undying love for Wil Wheaton. Yeah! Wil Wheaton! You have no idea how much I adored Stand By Me when I was 12/13 and how many times I watched it (many, many times). I was completely in love with Wil and, of course, River Phoenix. And I continued to be in love with Wil as Wesley Crusher (TNG fans were horrible to poor Wesley. I loved him!!). Well, Wil is the guy in the creepy videotape this lonely dude buys. Wil’s character just “wants to be your friend”. Honestly, he’s so good in this and so creepy.
The main character is played by Brian Landis Folkins & I thought he was terrific as well. He really captured the extreme loneliness of this poor middle-aged man stuck at home having to care for his sick mother & having to rely on a “videotape dating service” to find himself a match to hopefully share his life with. But, in the meantime while waiting for a love match, he buys the “Rent-A-Pal” video and that’s when things start getting nice & weird. I admit it: I love weird movies (which will be obvious when you get to my next review). So I liked this one & it felt like a very original story. I was also surprised at just how good it turned out to be as I wasn’t expecting anything too special since I’d never heard a thing about this whatsoever, not even on Film Twitter. It’s a good character study of someone suffering from extreme loneliness & it has good performances. So, yeah, maybe not the best thing to watch if we go back into a full scale pandemic lockdown! And bear in mind that it does get a bit crazy at the end. Only watch it if you like strange films.
My Rating: 6.5/10
Butt Boy (2019)
Directed by Tyler Cornack
Starring: Tyler Cornack, Tyler Rice, Shelby Dash, Brad Potts, Austin Lewis, Robert Moss, Tyler Dryden, Kai Henderson, Wilky Lau
Plot Synopsis: (via IMDb) Detective Fox loves work and alcohol. After going to AA, his sponsor, Chip, becomes the main suspect in his investigation of a missing kid. Fox also starts to believe that people are disappearing up Chip’s butt.
My Opinion:
Hopefully you read the above plot synopsis? Yes, this movie is indeed about people disappearing up a dude’s butt.
As I watch so many movies, I get very bored seeing the same predictable stuff over and over again. Therefore, I do seek out weird movies. I don’t necessarily want to see bad weird movies but seeing a synopsis such as the one above makes me go “Yep, that sounds unique!”. I’d love to make a Top Ten of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen but think it would be difficult as everyone will have a different definition of weird. Although I think we can all agree on this one being weird! Hmm… What could be in that list? Rubber for sure. Things like Society? Maybe. Possibly some good stuff like the movie Swallow that I watched recently? Not sure if that’s weird enough. Okay, I want to make this list someday! Now onto Butt Boy…
This actually isn’t a bad movie. As far as, I dunno, production values or whatever (I don’t know anything about filmmaking). But it looked good (as in, it didn’t seem really low budget or anything) and I remember thinking the score was interesting & fit this bizarre movie well. The acting was perfectly fine too. And, yeah – I really wanted to know what was happening to everything (and everyone) going up this guy’s butt. I also liked the character of the detective (even though he totally reminded me of an ex-boyfriend). He’s mysterious and you can tell he has some tragic backstory and he’s very determined to prove his theory (that, you know, people are disappearing up that dude’s butt!).
Well, I don’t know what else I can say about this. It’s the type of movie I can’t exactly recommend. You’ll either look at that plot synopsis and go “Hell yeah, I’m watching that!” or “WTF kind of weird ass shit does this chick watch? I’m never reading this blog again”. Seeing as we’re all movie bloggers, though, I’m sure a few of you might check this out (Film Miasma!). Also, I should say that the pay off is pretty good in the end (Haha! In the end! Literally!). This movie builds very slowly and then you get a great END (Ha! I said end again). Well, either it’s a great ending or a horrible ending depending on your opinion of it. A fucked up ending may be a better way of putting it, which is exactly what I wanted from a movie about people disappearing up a guy’s butt. I’m rating this half a point more for the truly original story idea.
My Rating: 6.5/10
**I should add that I looked into the director of this film a bit (Tyler Cornack – he also stars in this as the guy sticking junk up in his trunk). Turns out he has a YouTube channel of all kinds of weird & wonderful very short films (an original short Butt Boy being one of them). I’ve not had a chance to check any out yet but the link is HERE if you’re interested. Actually, I don’t know how to add a link to a channel because I’m an old person but that link brings you to the trailer for the channel & the channel is called Tiny Cinema. I’m intrigued…
Today is Wil Wheaton’s 44th birthday. Happy Birthday, Wil Wheaton! I’ve had a thing for Wil ever since the movie Stand By Me, one of my most-loved & most-watched movies. Then I of course loved him again in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Naturally, I also adored River Phoenix… I’ll forever be sad about his death. And Ben E. King passed away just over a year ago. R.I.P. River Phoenix & Ben E. King. 😦
Here’s the 1986 video for Stand By Me, featuring the boys dancing along with King (and River being all cool with his guitar). Yeah, the video is a bit cheesy in that 80’s kind of way. But I love 80’s cheese and I love this song. Happy Friday, everyone! 🙂
I did a post about Stand By Me, an all-time favorite film of mine, to celebrate Cara’s Blogiversary Bash over at Silver Screen Serenade. Thanks for letting me join in on the celebrations, Cara! Happy Blogiversary! I hope you have many, many more. 🙂
You can read my post (in which I said I was unable to talk about my love of Stand By Me & then spoke of it at length) HERE. I’ve done another one of my Top Ten Lists for it – My Top Ten Stand By Me Insults. Stand By Me is filled with loads of great, foul-mouthed insults and I LOVE IT. 🙂
Cinema Parrot Disco 