Into The Woods (2014) Review

IMG_8906

Into The Woods (2014)

Directed by Rob Marshall

Based on Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim & James Lapine

Starring:
Meryl Streep
Emily Blunt
James Corden
Anna Kendrick
Chris Pine
Tracey Ullman
Christine Baranski
Johnny Depp

Running time: 124 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
Inspired by the Grimm Brothers’ fairy tales of “Little Red Riding Hood”, “Cinderella”, “Jack and the Beanstalk”, and “Rapunzel”, the film is a fantasy genre crossover centered on a childless couple, who set out to end a curse placed on them by a vengeful witch. Ultimately though, the characters are forced to rectify the consequences of their actions.

IMG_8914

My Opinion:

I hated Into The Woods. I don’t want to do one of my bitchy reviews, though, so I’ll keep this short because I don’t need some crazy person telling me I’m on drugs for hating something (this happened recently on my review of Oz The Great And Powerful – gotta love those trolls). 😉

IMG_8919

I know nothing whatsoever of the Into The Woods musical. I didn’t know the story in the slightest or any of the songs before watching the movie. And, after seeing the movie, I STILL don’t know any of the songs. Why? Because they’re boring! Usually you get at least one song stuck in your head after a musical. Honestly – I couldn’t tell you how even one of them goes now & I only saw this two days ago. At least a couple of the songs in Les Misérables were catchy even if I just wanted that damn movie to end (and for Anne Hathaway’s character to just shut up and die).

IMG_8920

Speaking of just wanting a movie to end, I felt that way through the second half of Into The Woods. It’s just over 2 hours long but it really did feel like I’d been sitting there twice that long. For anyone who knows the story, there’s an “end” about three quarters of the way through. I was SO happy it seemed to be ending. But then it just went on. And on. And on. Then, when it finally ended, I didn’t feel like we actually got a good resolution for anyone. The story seemed to have no clear point. What was the “moral” of the whole thing?? Some people learned their lessons (sort of) and some didn’t. So many loose ends were left. I just felt like the whole story was messy, confusing and, well, quite stupid. THAT’S the best they could do with a bunch of Grimms’ fairy tales?! It’s pretty bad when Shrek kicks your sorry fairy tale ass and is far more clever (and I’m not really a fan of Shrek – I think those movies are highly overrated).

IMG_8916

Did I say this would be short & non-bitchy? Damn. Well, a few things weren’t bad. James Corden, Anna Kendrick & especially Emily Blunt were all pretty good & felt right for their roles. They almost made up for how much Johnny Depp & Chris Pine sucked, I suppose. Meryl Streep was fine, but, come on – an Oscar nomination for THAT? What a joke. (I’m writing this before the Oscars – hopefully she didn’t win). I like her, though – it’s just funny how the Academy feels the need to nominate her every year for whatever she happened to be in. God I hated that Little Red Riding Hood bitch! And Jack (of Beanstalk fame) felt about as pointless as Little Red Riding Hood’s character. The Big Bad Wolf pedophile thing went a little too far over the line and, seriously – who were we meant to actually care about in this movie as the characters are all pretty hateful? I guess the baker & his wife, which makes the ending even more ridiculous. Shit – this was meant to be the paragraph where I wasn’t bitchy. I suppose the costumes were nice? What we could see of them, at least, as it’s so dark in those stupid woods.

IMG_8915

Summary:

Unlike Into The Woods, I know it’s time to finish as I’m just going on & on in the same way the film did. I didn’t go into this with high or low expectations so it can’t be blamed on that and I’m also not anti-musical as there are plenty that I do like. However, when it’s a musical I do expect at least a couple good songs that I’ll be humming afterwards. Being a movie fan first, though, I’d have at least liked a story & characters that I cared about since the songs were so bland. I wasn’t expecting to not like either element of Into The Woods.

My Rating: 4.5/10

IMG_8917

54 thoughts on “Into The Woods (2014) Review

  1. I think I liked the movie more than you did. But I wasn’t a fan. I am familiar with the play. Based on your review, you’d REALLY hate the play. It’s more of everything you disliked about the movie.

    I do disagree with you on a couple of performances. I thought Chris Pine was hysterical as a pompous handsome prince. I thought he was a highlight. I also liked Lilla Crawford as Little Red Riding Hood.

    • Thanks for the comment. 🙂 Yeah… I’m guessing I’d hate the musical based on this movie! To be fair, I kind of hate Chris Pine overall for no good reason I can explain. 😉 And the girl was fine as Little Red Riding Hood – I just really hated her character! Well, I hated most the characters, which is what made it so hard to like the movie. :-/

  2. Agreed again. Sad sad film, so boring, so pointless and you’re so correct on songs; I can’t remember any of them. It felt so much longer than it actually was. And a nomination for Streep… I don’t get it.

  3. I wasn’t crazy about it either. Too long as you said. However I thought the song “Agony” was memorable. Saw this a few months ago in a theater and people actually cheered after that song.

    • Okay – I do remember Agony. Well, no – I don’t really remember how it goes but remember the scene (the two princes?). I’m sure fans of the musical loved this but I guess it just wasn’t my thing. 🙂

  4. I was really disappointed with this. There were a couple of “oh, that was somewhat nice” moments, but overall I was bored, all of the children really annoyed me, I find Anna Kendrick’s voice a little too shrill and it should have been over long before it was.

    • Everyone agrees with me! I love when everyone agrees with me!! lol. Why is this musical so popular? Everyone is so hateful. Glad to find another person who wasn’t a fan of this. 😉 Yes, went it on waaaay too long.

      • Everyone agrees because you’re always right! Mwahaha. ;D

        No idea why this is so popular. I mean, I like a dark fairy tale myself, but this just didn’t work and I found the music/songs entirely too repetitive. For a while I thought it was just me but it would appear that we are actually always right.

  5. I haven’t seen this movie and therefore will reserve judgment. I do, however, sympathize with you on your being badmouthed by the trolls for speaking your respected opinion. I had the same thing happen to me for my unfavorable review of Under the Skin. Admittedly, it hurt a bit. But then I considered the source and I moved on and I know that you have, also. In fact, would you like to join me in inviting the trolls to have sex with themselves?

    • Lol! I was a LITTLE nicer in my reply but I do always reply to the trolls. Not sure why I do but it doesn’t really bother me anyway – they’re usually quite funny. Also got told off recently for saying Tim Burton has made a lot of shit in recent years. lol – people get worked up over funny things. 🙂 I did love Under The Skin! But always respect opinions that are different from mine. 😉

      • The last good movie Burton made was Sleepy Hollow. I appreciate you respecting other people’s opinions and will always respect yours.

  6. Excellent piece. I have zero interest in seeing this, and then I heard it was a musical. Officially over. I can be so finicky about musicals… this just… rather not.

    • Thanks! : ) Yeah… I like musicals sometimes but one of my requirements for musicals is that at least a couple songs are actually GOOD. And then the entire story in this sucked as well so, really, there was nothing left to like about this one. :-/

  7. Pingback: Limitless (2011) Review | Cinema Parrot Disco

  8. Pingback: My Top Ten Movie Musicals | Cinema Parrot Disco

  9. Pingback: My Ten Most-Hated Movies Since Starting This Blog | Cinema Parrot Disco

  10. Okay I came and checked – love the review! I keep vaguely wondering if I should watch this and then I remember how much everyone hated this, so definitely steering clear, thanks for the warning 😀

    • You’re welcome! : ) I was actually quite excited for this. I love Emily Blunt. But, MAN, it was painful to sit through & felt like it was 20 hours long. And the music sucked too!! Complete waste of time. :-/

  11. Pingback: My Top Ten Emily Blunt Movies | Cinema Parrot Disco

  12. Pingback: My Top Ten Meryl Streep Movies | Cinema Parrot Disco

Leave a comment