Watched, Read, Reviewed: December 2018

Happy New Year, everyone! 2019. Holy shit. Well, I suppose I better post my December Roundup so I can finally get on with posting my 2018 Year End Top Ten Lists. I love lists!!!! I’ll be posting those the rest of this week. So first of all, here’s what I watched & read in December 2018.

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

Splendor In The Grass – 8.5/10
Metropolis – 8.5/10
Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse – 8/10
A Star Is Born (2018) – 8/10
A Simple Favor – 7.5/10
Aquaman – 7/10
Mirai – 7/10
Journey to Agartha (aka Children Who Chase Lost Voices) – 7/10
The King’s Speech – 7/10
Ralph Breaks The Internet – 7/10
Bumblebee – 7/10
The Nutcracker And The Four Realms – 6.5/10
Mary Poppins Returns – 6.5/10
American Animals – 6/10
Slaughterhouse Rulez – 5.5/10
The Grinch – 4.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

*l’m going to sound grumpy in my reviews below since I’ve already reviewed the stuff I actually liked. Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse was especially fantastic. Believe the hype! All my reviews are linked.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse – 8/10

Aquaman – 7/10

Journey to Agartha (aka Children Who Chase Lost Voices) – 7/10

Bumblebee – 7/10

The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society – This was my “Christmas present wrapping movie” this year. It wasn’t as much fun as watching Road House while wrapping presents – I’ll be going back to watching that one while wrapping next year. This was still a decent movie, though, and it continues to annoy me that Lily James is so damn cute. Here’s the plot synopsis from Wikipedia: “Set in 1946, the plot follows a London-based writer who begins exchanging letters with residents on the island of Guernsey, which was under German occupation during World War II.I enjoyed the story and the characters were well developed and the romance worked well even though I don’t normally go for that sort of thing. It probably deserves a higher rating but it was still a bit too “chick flick” for my tastes. – 6.5/10

Mary Poppins Returns – 6.5/10

Mute – Hmm. Okay – I’ve been meaning to watch this as I really liked Moon from Duncan Jones (plus he’s cool on Twitter and of course he’s David Bowie’s son and that’s awesome). But then it got pretty bad reviews so I waited. I can see why it got bad reviews. It’s certainly no Moon! The characters are really hateful (the main guy & his girlfriend were okay, I guess. And the young girl). The story was pretty silly and felt a bit pointless after how it ended. It felt like one of those movies where the director had a vision of the backdrop he wanted for the film then wrote a story around it, which didn’t really work. I did like some of the imagery and always love futuristic sci-fi so I didn’t totally hate the film. But I didn’t like it all that much, either. It’s a poor Blade Runner imitation. Overall, it was a big disappointment but I like that Jones got to make the film exactly as he’d wanted. – 6/10

Thoroughbreds – This movie was pretty disappointing as well. I was looking forward to it after hearing comparisons to things like Heathers. I do like a good teen angst movie! Okay – people need to stop calling every angsty teen movie the next Heathers. Nothing will ever live up to Heathers or any of the other 80’s teen movies. Heathers was witty with some of the most quotable dialogue ever and fantastic characters. Thoroughbreds was mostly just boring, which I didn’t expect since the story revolves around the girls planning to kill someone. I do like both these actresses fine and it was good seeing Anton Yelchin again (R.I.P.) so, like with Mute, I didn’t totally hate this. It just felt a bit pointless and a little “up its own arse”. Just because a plot is a little dark, it doesn’t automatically make something a brilliant film. – 6/10

Justice League – I finally watched this since I figured I better see it before watching Aquaman (which I really enjoyed!). Meh. I really can’t get into the DCEU movies, although I did like Wonder Woman & Aquaman. The Batman & Superman movies have been atrocious, though, and I can’t stand Ben Affleck. Like most superhero movies, this felt exactly the same as all the rest. Hell, I barely remember the stupid plot now and I only just watched this last week. These stories are getting boring as hell. However, Wonder Woman has a big role in this film and she’s easily the best thing about it. She saved the movie (somewhat). It’s far better than the Batman & Superman films, at least! But the MCU movies are still so much better overall. At least this one didn’t totally suck. – 6/10

The Christmas Chronicles – Well, this was silly as hell but it’s the sort of thing you’d expect from a family Christmas movie anyway. And who (my age) doesn’t love Kurt Russell?? He’s still awesome, even when old and with hair like 70’s Kenny Rogers. I was a bit like “I kind of want to f*^k this Santa”. Is that inappropriate? I mean, he was in The Thing! The Thing rules. We need a Kurt Russell Santa movie directed by John Carpenter. It wouldn’t have had those dumbass elf(?) rat-looking things. As for this movie, it was fine other than those weirdass elf things. Well, I’m also not so sure about Russell singing the blues in prison (the hubby & I both pointed out a few times that they seemed to be influenced by Adventures In Babysitting for this movie). The movie would’ve been better with less cheese as the story itself, although a thoroughly predictable “dead parent” story, was suitably heartwarming for Christmas. The two kids were quite likeable as well. Can we just have a little less cheese in our Christmas movies?? It’s A Wonderful Life is heartwarming with very little cheese. And no stupid elf rats. – 5.5/10

Amber Lake This was one of those movies with a decent story idea but so poorly executed thanks to a bad script and terrible acting. The clearly very low budget didn’t help either. It really was a wasted opportunity. Oh, and it also uses the Rashômon concept of telling the same story from different perspectives. But that of course worked in the hands of Akira Kurosawa as he was a genius and one of the greatest filmmakers of all time. Amber Lake is no Rashômon! Obviously. Um… I don’t actually know what to say about this. Here’s the plot synopsis from IMDb: “Three half-sisters, after being invited to their father’s lake house to meet him and each other for the first time, are each questioned by a local sheriff to explain the events that took place leading up to the discovery of their father floating dead in the lake.” It’s on Amazon Prime in the UK if you’re interested but do yourself a favor & watch Rashômon instead. Or any Kurosawa film. You won’t regret it. I kind of regret watching Amber Lake, though. – 5/10

Cam – I really need to stop trusting tweets from Twitter’s “horror community”. I’ve realized that they rave about every horror movie no matter how good or bad it really is. Cam is yet another Netflix film that everyone thinks is great, probably because they get to watch it at home as part of their subscription, which is a lot easier than dragging your butt off the couch to go the cinema to watch something that’s actually good. Netflix is the new equivalent of “straight to video” in the Eighties. Anyway, after all my bitching I can see why this would have some fans (especially horny guys). And, yes – it’s an original story so I definitely give it credit for that in this day & age of sequels and reboots. It’s a good concept but having a thoroughly annoying character as its focus didn’t really work. I don’t want to hate all the characters in a movie – it just means that I don’t care what happens to them. To be fair, this movie did have a good idea and I think I’d have liked it okay if they’d gone about it differently. Plus the porn thing didn’t work for me, I suppose, since I’m a girl. Hey – whatever happened to Babestation in the UK? Is that still around?? I haven’t been channel surfing at 3am in recent years… – 5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby – I like Nick Hornby & have read most of his books. The film adaptation of this came out a few months ago so I figured I better read the book before checking out the movie (Ethan Hawke is in it so I’ll be watching it at some point). The book was okay and very “Hornby” but definitely not one of his best. I like that there’s once again a music connection, as there often is with his stories. In this one, a guy is obsessed with an old rock star who had one big hit album then disappeared. His long suffering girlfriend (or were they married? I don’t remember!) ends up being contacted by the rock star after she posts a review online of his new album. Hey – I review stuff online! I’ve reviewed several Chris Hemsworth movies. Where’s my e-mail from him? Hey Chris – I’m totally up for a hot love affair! Anyway. Where was I? Oh, this book was fine but a little boring. The characters were weak compared to those in other Hornby novels but I sadly related to the pathetic guy in this & his obsession since I get kind of obsessed with stuff like that too. I mean, I obviously have a movie blog. The guy posted on a blog dedicated to the rock star. We’re obsessive nerds. Hornby does seem to write the “obsessive nerd” characters well. The book was a decent enough read but I didn’t love the ending. However, I do think it would make for a good movie so I’ll be watching that as soon as it’s available on whatever service. – 3/5

Currently Reading: Gwendy’s Button Box by Stephen King & Richard Chizmar

TV SHOWS WATCHED

Nothing. Well, Grey’s Anatomy. Ugh. And The Walking Dead. Ugh Ugh. Eagerly awaiting Game Of Thrones and Stranger Things!

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

I’m going to take it easy this month. I actually watched too many movies last year and plan to cut down on that as well. Fewer movies but hopefully better movies. Although I do enjoy writing a bitchy review, obviously. I’ll continue with these monthly roundups and will try to review the movies I see in the cinema. I also plan to continue the Blind Spot Project. I’ll post my 2019 choices for that next week after I finish posting my 2018 Top Ten Lists.

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

As usual, January is a weak month for movie releases in the UK. Of the below, I’m only really interested in going to see Glass. The Mule & Green Book also sound decent.

The Favorite – Will wait for Netflix. Not a fan of the director. Hated The Lobster.

Welcome To Marwen – Really liked the plot synopsis for this but it’s had bad reviews.

Colette – Looks like a good story but stars Keira Knightly. Yuck. So will wait for Netflix.

Glass – The one film I’ll definitely go to, even though I’m not a huge fan of this trilogy. But I do like Shyamalan for the most part.

Mary Queen Of Scots – Again, it looks okay but it’s a Netflix movie for me. I’m not big on historical dramas.

The Mule – This stars Clint Eastwood so I can guarantee that my dad will be watching this one…

A Dog’s Way Home – Actually, I’m likely to go to this as well. It’s a cute doggo story so I can guarantee that my daughter will be dragging me to it…

Green Book – I really like the sound of this one and it’s had great reviews. If it’s shown near me, I may go.

There wasn’t a lot of music in the movies I watched in December (other than Mary Poppins Returns, obviously, but those songs were pretty boring). So here’s one of the best songs from Bumblebee’s overuse of 80’s music to shove all its Eightiesness in our faces. Tears For Fears are underrated. Mad World is one of the best songs ever. But they of course didn’t use that one in Bumblebee…

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Watched, Read, Reviewed: November 2018

Happy December, everyone! Is winter over yet? Oh man – I’m mega late with this update & it’s now almost January. That’s even worse than December. Have I mentioned that I hate this cold & dreary time of year??? Well, here’s what I watched & read way back in November…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED

Bohemian Rhapsody – 7/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

**I’ll try to review all the below 2018 releases in full later so I’ll only talk a little about the two I saw at home.

A Star Is Born – 8/10

Mirai – 7/10

Ralph Breaks The Internet – 7/10

The Nutcracker And The Four Realms – 6.5/10

The Boat That Rocked (aka Pirate Radio) – I’d always wanted to check this out sometime as I find the pirate radio thing that happened in the UK fascinating. I love the spirit of pirate radio. Sticking it to corporate radio bullshit! And I’ve always had a thing for Pump Up The Volume (I think it was a teenage nerd dream of mine to be Slater’s anti-establishment pirate DJ in that). This movie was pretty bloody awful, though. Could they really not just make a movie based on the true story of pirate radio, which would be thoroughly interesting, instead of an overlong piece of fiction filled with hateful characters? What I find most fascinating, however, is just how much the world has changed in the ten years since this was released. This couldn’t be made in the same way now as there’d be a huge backlash due to how the female characters are portrayed (and a scene involving Gemma Arterton is rapey beyond belief). I have to get the hell off the internet sometimes when I see words like “woke” and “problematic” and I just want to puke. I’m Gen X and rude as fuck and offended by nothing so, if I found this movie slightly uncomfortable in 2018, I’m hoping that the people who use those words never check it out. I’ll say two good things about it, though: Philip Seymour Hoffman was really good and the soundtrack was AMAZING. Holy hell! Richard Curtis must have some serious connections to have gotten the rights to so many great songs for this film (I looked it up – there are 60 songs in the movie). It was actually worth watching for the constant background music alone. I’d say the movie somewhat captured the spirit of pirate radio’s love of good music and wanting to share it with others. It’s just a shame that a good movie about pirate radio wasn’t made instead of this silly one. – 5.5/10

Slaughterhouse Rulez – 5.5/10

The Grinch – 5/10

Better Watch Out – This was an odd one. I was excited about this as I like a good Christmas horror comedy: Gremlins is an all-time favorite & I thought Krampus was a fun film. The marketing was strange for this… I got the impression that it might be another comedy horror such as Krampus but it’s nothing of the sort despite being listed as a “comedy crime horror thriller” on IMDb. Everything I read said to avoid spoilers for this so I’ll not say much about it other than that I absolutely hated the turn that this film took. As I said before, it takes a hell of a lot to offend me but I didn’t like the creepy way this played out. And, as always, I hate movies filled with hateful characters (though the girl wasn’t too bad). I don’t know. This has an okay IMDb rating as far as horrors go so clearly some must like it but I can’t for the life of me imagine who as I can think of no one I would recommend this movie to. – 4.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

Bird Box by Josh Malerman – I enjoyed this horror novel. If you liked A Quiet Place, you’d probably like this story as well. In the book, people start going mad and killing themselves & others after seeing *something*. No one knows the cause so people start barricading themselves in their homes & wearing blindfolds at all times. I’d say the only negative was that I didn’t love the main character as she seems so cold & uncaring but it’s also completely understandable as this terrible new existence has made her that way. This has now been made into a Netflix movie starring Sandra Bullock and I have to say I hate the look of the trailer as it looks like too much has been changed (plus she’s very wrong for the role). I’ll check it out but I highly recommend reading the book first if you’re interested. – 4/5

Ghastle And Yule by Josh Malerman – This was a short story hidden at the end of Bird Box and, oh my god, I loved it! I liked it so much that I tweeted the author (I never do that – I just felt the need to let him know I appreciated it). The story is about two rival horror filmmakers and I highly recommend it to lovers of filmmaking & especially classic horror filmmaking. The way Malerman describes each of their films in detail made them feel like real directors and actual movies I’d seen. Seriously – every movie described in this story needs to be made for real. Horror filmmakers are missing out if they don’t do this. At the very least, the story itself should be a film. – 4.5/5

Stories Of Your Life And Others by Ted Chiang – I’ve only read two of the stories in this collection so far. I’ll try to review this once I’ve read the whole book.

Currently Reading: Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby – But I have to return it to the library and I’ve not finished it. Damn. Good so far. Typical Hornby.

TV SHOWS WATCHED

– The Walking Dead – Ugh. Why do I keep doing this to myself?! This show has sucked for years. It has sucked since Darabont left. And I never loved Rick but it’s completely pointless without him now…

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

No plans! Too busy with work. And stupid Christmas. I may try to review the 2018 films I’ve not yet reviewed. And I’ll do end-of-year Top Ten lists as always but that may be the first week of January.

December Movies I Want To See:

Sorry To Bother You – Sounds like a “love it or hate it”. I do like weird.

The Old Man & The Gun – Sounds like an interesting story but I’ll wait for Netflix.

Mortal Engines – Damn, reviews aren’t great but I liked the book. Looks like it’ll be another “wait for Netflix” film.

Aquaman – Meh. DC movies suck but he’s pretty damn hot so I might watch this one.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse – Saw it. It’s brilliant! And I’m not a huge superhero fan.

An Elephant Sitting Still – I know nothing at all about this but it’s a Chinese film with decent reviews (but probably too obscure for me to be able to ever see it easily). And I’ve just seen that it’s four hours long?! Huh. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Mary Poppins Returns – I’ll go as it looks like a lovely family film and I like Emily Blunt but I’m seriously bored with reboots and remakes and sequels and whatever.

Bumblebee – Tickets booked! I’ll have seen this by the time this posts. Sounds like a fun family movie.

Holmes & Watson – Could be fun. Could be shit. Will Ferrell movies are iffy.

**I’ll end with a song from the thoroughly disappointing The Boat That Rocked movie with the thoroughly fantastic soundtrack. I’ve always loved Crimson And Clover by Tommy James and the Shondells. I seriously always thought this song was about taking a girl’s virginity in the grass but I can’t find any evidence of this online and I’m now weirdly disappointed that there’s no actual meaning. This is from Wikipedia: “The title, “Crimson and Clover”, was decided before a song had been written for it. The combination of unknown meaning came to James as he was waking up, comprising his favorite color – crimson – and his favorite flower – clover.”

Watched, Read, Reviewed: October 2018

Happy November, everyone! It’s cold. It’s dark way too fucking early. I hate this time of year. It makes me feel like this:

Well, here’s what I watched & reviewed in October…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

Since everyone does the horror thing in October, I mostly just re-posted & reblogged some short reviews I did of horror movies I watched this year. So these are just the brand new reviews that I posted in October.

Mandy – 7.5/10
Halloween (2018) – 6.5/10
The House With A Clock In Its Walls – 6.5/10
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween – 6/10
Jug Face (aka The Pit) – 1.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Mandy – This is one that will probably grow on me. I’ve seen nothing else like it. I’ve already reviewed it in full HERE. – 7.5/10

Interstella 5555: The 5tory Of The 5ecret 5tar 5ystem – The above image is from this movie, which I doubt anyone reading this has actually seen. Here’s some info from Wikipedia: “Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem is a Japanese-French anime adventure fantasy science fiction musical film. The film is the visual realization of Discovery, the second studio album by Daft Punk. Interstella 5555 tells the story of the abduction and rescue of an interstellar pop band. The film was produced by Daft Punk, Cédric Hervet and Emmanuel de Buretel with Toei Animation under the supervision of Leiji Matsumoto. The film has no dialogue and uses minimal sound effects.” Yep – this movie is definitely not for everyone. If you absolutely love Daft Punk (I do) and like anime, you may enjoy it but it’s obviously for a very specific target audience. There’s no talking – it’s just Daft Punk songs through the whole movie so it’s like a long music video with a fun story. Is it a good film? Maybe. It’s certainly not perfect but I loved the style and the music. I admit that I love Daft Punk, though, so am likely to enjoy any type of art that they put out. I still prefer their film Electroma, however, which has similar themes regarding humanity & becoming human. I recommend both films but only to massive Daft Punk fans. – 7.5/10

The Garden Of Words – This (as well as the below film 5 Centimetres Per Second) is a very short anime film from the same director as Your Name (Makoto Shinkai). I liked both of these films a lot. I also went to an anime film in the cinema last weekend (Mirai) from the director of Wolf Children & Summer Wars (Mamoru Hosoda) so I think I’m getting a better idea of whose films I like beyond just Studio Ghibli (but nothing will ever top those). So far, I’m preferring the gorgeous style of Shinkai’s films and the simple human stories, which are often bittersweet. This story revolves around the friendship between a 15-year-old boy & 27-year-old woman who both feel a little lost. I probably liked 5 Centimetres Per Second just as much but felt the characters were a bit stronger in this one, especially the woman. – 7.5/10

5 Centimetres Per Second – Also from Makoto Shinkai, this short film reminded me a lot of Your Name when it came to the visuals and the story involving love with too many obstacles. If I was a teenage girl, I’d probably absolutely adore these films as they’re so often about young love and its difficulties (but I’m old & bitter!). I do like the bittersweet mood in Shinkai’s films but, more than anything, it’s the overall look that I love. This film is beautiful and I love movies where the stills (such as below) are works of art that you want to stick on your walls. I’m definitely looking forward to more films from this director, even though they’re often quite “teenage”. – 7.5/10

Fist Of Fury – I watched Enter The Dragon as one of my Blind Spot movies this year and absolutely loved it so said I’d like to watch Bruce Lee’s other films. I enjoyed this one as well but definitely far prefer Enter The Dragon, which has that completely funky Seventies thing going on (and John Saxon & Jim Kelly, who were groovy as shit). Here’s the Wikipedia synopsis: “Lee plays Chen Zhen, a student of Huo Yuanjia, who fights to defend the honor of the Chinese in the face of foreign aggression, and to bring to justice those responsible for his master’s death.” This one isn’t as “fun” as Enter The Dragon (if you’re looking for that sort of thing in a martial arts film) but it’s a revenge story and I always like a good revenge story. Lee kicks ass (obviously), which I thoroughly enjoyed, but I found that I didn’t care enough about the characters. You need to feel the same desire for vengeance as the characters feel. In Mandy & in Kill Bill, I really wanted to see all those evil bastards get their comeuppance. I just found the story & characters a little weak in Fist Of Fury, especially compared to the main characters in Enter The Dragon having strong personalities and some good backstories. Oh well – I still enjoyed this and plan to watch more like it. Any recommendations, MIB? – 7.5/10

The Handmaiden – Well, this was a little saucy. This is from director Park Chan-wook, whose work I haven’t seen much of yet (Oldboy, Thirst, etc – I’ve only seen Stoker). As with Stoker, this was a really lovely film to look at but I far preferred the story in The Handmaiden and thought it was a much better film overall (although it felt a little too long). It also starts out very slow and almost Merchant-Ivory-boring-drama-like so have patience if you do watch it. It felt like nothing was really happening for ages and then WHAM!, you suddenly get all kinds of great double crossing and triple crossing and saucy sex and, shit, even some illustrated tentacle porn (!). You never know who you can trust and I liked that the movie kept you guessing after its first twist. And I hated those pervy men! I really enjoyed the story once it finally got going & loved the ending. (To clarify, I just mean the overall ending and not the specific final scene – I’m not that kinky). – 7.5/10

Bohemian Rhapsody – As this is a current film, I’ll try to review it in full soon. Really enjoyed it but it’s not going to be an all-time classic. – 7/10

What If (aka The F Word) – I liked this waaaay more than I expected to, considering I don’t go for romantic comedies often and Daniel Radcliffe does nothing whatsoever for me (obviously. gross – he’s a little kid). I’ll never ever see Harry Potter as a romantic lead but I do seem to like the movies that Zoe Kazan has made in this genre: Ruby Sparks was good and I absolutely loved In Your Eyes, which is my favorite romantic movie in a very long time (not counting cartoon romances – those are more believable. Carl & Ellie in Up! WALL-E & EVE!). My point is: I don’t like live action romance often because I don’t find it very realistic. The characters and the things they do feel so phoney. That’s why I enjoyed What If as the two characters felt more real than in a lot of rom-coms. Some things were a little too damn perfect, such as her amazing career as an artist and her lovely home and her cute outfits. Plus the ending we see over the end credits was a bit barfy. But the two main characters themselves had great chemistry, great conversations, and felt like the best friends that they immediately became. I thought it explored the issue of of “can a girl & a guy just be friends” quite well and you could really feel how difficult it was for Radcliffe to maintain the friendship (he’s clearly in love with her but she’s already in a serious relationship). Too bad everyone else in this was annoying, though. Their friends kind of sucked and I especially hated her sister. The two leads were good but the rest were a bunch of twentysomething twats. – 7/10

Timecrimes – I was really hoping to like this much more than I did (sorry, Brian!). I was intrigued by the following Wikipedia plot synopsis as I freaking love stories involving time-travel-fuckery: “This Spanish science-fiction thriller film stars Karra Elejalde as Héctor, a man who becomes part of a time loop and must stop his other selves from continuing to exist.” The time loop was interesting and hurt my brain just enough to keep me satisfied without leaving me totally lost (like with Primer). I think my only issue was that the main guy was a bit of a selfish prick, especially when it came to his treatment of that poor girl. Oh well – I did still enjoy the story as I do always love this sub-genre. I just got more enjoyment out of the fantastic Predestination & even that complicated Primer in a weird sort of way. Actually, these three films would make for an interesting trilogy of movies if you wanted to nerd-out on complex time travel films one night. – 7/10

Halloween (2018) – Disappointing. – 6.5/10

Labor Day – This movie was okay and probably the first time I found Josh Brolin somewhat hot. He didn’t even do it for me in The Goonies, although I was the perfect age to have a crush on him at the time. Here’s the IMDb synopsis: “Depressed single mom Adele and her son Henry offer a wounded, fearsome man a ride. As police search town for the escaped convict, the mother and son gradually learn his true story as their options become increasingly limited.” Kate Winslet, as the depressed mother, once again gives a great performance. I’m not necessarily a fan but do think she’s one of the most talented actresses around and I really felt for her character. I seem to like films involving depressed old women. What does that say about me?! Anyway – Winslet & Brolin had good chemistry & I wanted them to live happily ever after but I can’t recommend this film to many as most would find it a little boring. I suppose it was. – 6.5/10

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween – The first one was much better & Jack Black is barely even in this one. – 6/10

The Dinner – Wow. This sucked. I read the book last year (review HERE). It wasn’t the most enjoyable read as the characters were all a bunch of total wankers but they’re actually much worse in the film. The story was intriguing in the book, though, and the film adaptation completely ruins it. At least the book felt somewhat original as each “act” was a different part of a fancy meal (appetiser, dessert, etc etc). That’s not used in the film at all. To be fair, I was so bored by the movie that I ended up playing on my phone (at home) & paying no attention whatsoever so I probably shouldn’t review it. Oh well – I just did. Sort of. Skip this movie. If you’re interested in the story, only read the book. If you want to save your time, I’ll tell you what their asshole kids did so you can skip this. Here you go! SPOILER:

The kids (3 teenage boys who are brothers & a cousin) kill a homeless woman by setting her on fire & filming it. Nice. This is revealed early in the film but is a big secret in the book. Their parents meet for dinner to discuss what to do about it (most want to cover it up). Rich, hateful, disgusting characters and the film does nothing to say that their behavior was wrong. Feels a little irresponsible. – 4/10

Jug Face (aka The Pit) – What a load of shit. The worst movie I’ve seen in the six-year history of my blog- 1.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

• The Outsider by Stephen King – This was okay but a little disappointing. Regulars know by now that I’m a huge King fan and always read every new book of his that comes out. He’s had some really good ones in recent years (I enjoyed the Mr. Mercedes series). This one started out well but it took way too long to get to the weird supernatural shit, which is what I like. The crime was also way too graphic and violent for my liking. Yeah, I love horror stories but don’t love gore or realistic violence and the start of this book was more of a crime novel, which I rarely go for. I don’t want to spoil things but the addition of a character from previous King novels really helped the second half of this book as I like that character a lot. But I felt that all the new characters in this one were a little weak and the finale was too similar to the endings of other King stories. Damn – I’ve just realized I’ll have to update my post where I ranked ALL the King books I’ve read (post HERE). Where will The Outsider go? Probably in the bottom ten. – 3/5

Currently Reading: Bird Box by Josh Malerman & Stories Of Your Life And Others (a collection of short sci-fi stories, including the one made into the film Arrival) by Ted Chiang.

TV SHOWS WATCHED

The Haunting Of Hill HouseI started watching this on Netflix as I’ve really liked some of Mike Flanagan’s films (especially Gerald’s Game & Absentia). I don’t think the TV format works for me anymore. Two episodes in and nothing has happened. I could’ve watched a movie instead in that time! I don’t have the patience or the time.

Doctor Who – Figured I should give this another try now that there’s a female Doctor. I started watching this just after moving to the UK when the Christopher Eccleston ones started. They were very good and then the David Tennant ones were even better (he’ll always be my favorite). I loved this show for a while but it all turned to shit when Tennant left and I believe different writers took over. I’ve watched the first two Jodie Whittaker episodes. While I think she may be okay (hard to tell yet), the stories were weak as shit. Is that really the best they could do for the first two episodes?! Should I bother continuing?

• Oh, and Grey’s Anatomy has started again. I never like to admit to watching that girly bullshit. My excuse is that the hubby never lets me watch anything good without him so I need something I’m allowed to watch when I’m alone…

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Once again, nothing planned due to lack of time. May try to catch up on reviewing all the current films I’ve seen in the cinema. The end of November is also my six-year blogiversary so I’ll try to do my usual blogiversary post (it’ll be far shorter than my five-year post!).

Holy shit – Looks like there are a lot of cinema releases I kind of want to see in November, though. Damn.

November Movie Releases:

The Nutcracker And The Four Realms – Ha! Maybe not. Dreadful reviews so far, I see.

Juliet, Naked – Shit, I didn’t realize a Nick Hornby adaptation was coming out. I like his books so I’ll try to read it then catch this on Netflix.

Widows – Crime drama isn’t a genre I love but the trailer looks good. It’s also a book I may read first and then check the movie out at home.

Overlord – Not sure on this. Looks like my type of weird shit but, again, think I’ll wait for it on Netflix.

The Grinch – Ugh. My daughter wants to go so I’m sure we’ll check it out but they better not fuck-up a beloved Christmas TV special from my childhood. At least nothing can be worse than that nightmare Jim Carrey version of this.

Wildlife – Good reviews but I’ll probably wait for Netflix unless it gets Oscar buzz.

They Shall Not Grow Old – Does look very interesting – will try to catch this as it’s going to air on TV.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? – Again, I’ll probably wait to watch this at home but am interested in seeing this documentary before the Tom Hanks film.

Suspiria – I’ll go to this but am sure it’ll piss me off. Make something original, Hollywood!

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald – I have zero interest whatsoever in this. The first one was shockingly boring.

Robin Hood – Meh.

SerenityDiane Lane! I love her. Oh, Anne Hathaway… I hate her.

Shoplifters – What’s this?! It’s a Japanese film with amazing reviews. I’ve just watched the trailer & really want to see it but know it’s very unlikely to be showing anywhere near me.

Ralph Breaks The Internet – This is honestly the only mainstream movie I really want to go & see in November…

Creed II – I’ve been bugging the hubby to watch all the Rocky movies with me since I really liked the first one. He hasn’t. So I can’t watch this. I mean, WTF? I’m like a fucking DREAM wife. What wife wants to watch the Rocky movies?? Oh, and if he’s reading this: will you please let me watch more Akira Kurosawa films, dammit??? I’ve had that boxset for years.

The Possession Of Hannah Grace – A horror movie with decent ratings so far? If it’s a horror that’s actually good, I’ll watch it!

Three Identical Strangers – Intriguing story. I’ll watch this documentary someday.

Anna And The Apocalypse – Okay, a movie crossover that actually hadn’t occurred to me. Zombie apocalypse musical? Again, it’s a Netflix flick but I’ll watch it eventually.

I have to end with this clip from Interstella 5555, which was Daft Punk’s video for Digital Love:

Watched, Read, Reviewed: September 2018

Happy October, everyone! I won’t be doing a month of horror posts like usual as I don’t have the time but I may try to do a couple of horror-related posts as I watched quite a few “scary” films in the past year. But first I’ll do a quick roundup of everything I watched in September.

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

None. I only posted one thing in September, which was My Top Ten Brian De Palma Movies.

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Mary And The Witch’s Flower – This is the first movie from Studio Ponoc, which was founded by Yoshiaki Nishimura (formerly of Studio Ghibli). Basically, it’s the new Studio Ghibli as several former Ghibli employees have joined Studio Ponoc. Although Hayao Miyazaki has come out of retirement to make another Ghibli film, expected to be released in 2020YES!!! But, if this studio is going to be the next Ghibli and this is their first film, I think things may be alright. We’ll see. It’s certainly not up there with Miyazaki’s work (but nothing is). It’s a good start and easily lives up to some of the non-Miyazaki Ghiblis. It’s of the “kid friendly” variety & reminded me the most of Arrietty. I think I may actually prefer Mary And The Witch’s Flower to that one. I’ll review this in full at some point as I try to review all the anime I watch. – 7.5/10

A Simple Favor – I’ll review this in full sometime. Went in with zero expectations and really enjoyed it. – 7.5/10

The Rose – I’d somehow never seen this movie in which Bette Midler plays a 70s rock star desperate for fame (it’s loosely based on Janis Joplin’s life). This type of movie is right up my alley and I thought it was quite good while Midler herself was excellent. She was nominated for an Oscar for this performance & won a Golden Globe. Yet I never really hear this movie or Midler’s performance mentioned, despite its song (The Rose) being a big American hit. Worth watching if the movie is your type of thing but it’s definitely not for everyone and people who love mainly just current films wouldn’t like the fairly slow pacing of this one. – 7.5/10

Brigsby Bear – Really enjoyed this one as well but it’s truly not for everyone. It’s quirky, a little weird, and indie as shit. But it has a lot of heart and is one of the most original stories I’ve seen in a while. Mark Hamill supposedly accepted his role because he was impressed by the script’s originality (I heard that somewhere but can’t find a link regarding this). It’s a “comedy” drama but the comedy is subtle and, more than anything, it’s just a sweet, feel-good sort of film. I highly recommend knowing as little as possible about it beforehand if you decide to watch it as I think going in blind helped my enjoyment. – 7.5/10

The House With A Clock In Its Walls – Will review in full. It was fun. – 7/10

American Animals – Will also try to review this. I was disappointed. – 6.5/10

The Glass Castle – Finally saw this adaptation after thoroughly enjoying the novel (it was my favorite book I read last year). It was my favorite despite not being at all my usual type of thing (it’s a memoir based on the author’s highly unusual and impoverished upbringing). The book was truly fascinating, however, as her parents’ behaviour was so outrageous that it was equally entertaining and maddening to read about. It was also very hard to not be disgusted by their behavior at times, especially the father’s, but the author did manage to somehow create some sympathy toward her parents that didn’t translate as well to film. Woody Harrelson was good as the father but the movie did leave out some of the things he did that would make it too hard to like him. – 6.5/10

Compliance – This movie is thoroughly messed up, mostly because it’s unfortunately 100% true. I remember hearing about this film when it came out & finding the true story interesting so I looked into it & the Kentucky case (I believe) is what’s shown in this film. This was part of the “strip search phone call scam” that went on for 12 years(!!) across small American towns. From Wikipedia:

“The strip search phone call scam is a series of incidents, mostly occurring in rural areas of the United States, that extended over a period of about twelve years, starting in 1992. The incidents involved a man calling a restaurant or grocery store, claiming to be a police officer and then convincing managers to conduct strip searches of female employees, and to perform other bizarre acts on behalf of “the police”. The calls were most often placed to fast-food restaurants in small towns.

Over 70 such occurrences were reported in 30 U.S. states, until an incident in 2004 in Mount Washington, Kentucky, finally led to the arrest of David Richard Stewart…”

So the point of this scam, I guess, was to see how far people will go when they think they’re being told to do something by an authority figure. It’s scary that so few people questioned the voice on the phone when they were told to do increasingly disturbing things to the female employees who had been targeted. I think viewers won’t believe how far things went in this film and I think it had some bad reviews simply because it’s hard to watch. But, from what I read, nothing is exaggerated (a security camera actually caught it all on film). I’m glad they caught the sick bastard but the scam itself made for a fascinating study in human behavior, I guess. Disturbing. A decently acted film but obviously a hard one to actually “recommend”. It’ll make you angry and the real life girl who was targeted has had a lot of issues since this happened to her. – 6.5/10

Veronica – To quote Wikipedia again, Veronica is a Spanish horror movie “Loosely based on true events from the 1991 Vallecas case where Estefanía Gutiérrez Lázaro died mysteriously after she used a ouija board“. It showed up on Netflix with a lot of people saying “scariest horror movie ever!” and shit like that. I guess it’s the only horror movie they’ve ever watched? It was a well-made film with decent acting but it’s not something we haven’t all seen before. However, I liked the characters which is always a plus as we don’t often get likeable characters in this genre. I felt for this poor 15-year-old girl and her sweet younger siblings she’s forced to take care of since their mother is always working. It made the film an okay watch as the story itself was a little bland (especially as, from what I’ve read, it’s only very loosely based on the “true” story). – 6/10

Tetsuo (aka Tetsuo: The Iron Man) – I’ve been meaning to watch this Japanese film for years as I have a weird fascination with body horror (god knows why – I’m a wuss when it comes to violence). I really wanted to see it before doing the list of My Top Ten Body Horror Movies but it wouldn’t have made the list anyway. It’s only just over an hour long but it felt like it was never going to end. The last 20 minutes or so just go on & on & on (I decided to fast-forward). I suppose this movie was shocking in 1989 but we’ve had The Human Freaking Centipede since then, so… is anything really going to gross anyone out in this fucked-up world anymore? Here’s the IMDb synopsis: “A businessman accidentally kills The Metal Fetishist, who gets his revenge by slowly turning the man into a grotesque hybrid of flesh and rusty metal.” I like weird movies and especially love ones with great imagery but the low budget imagery in this wasn’t good enough to make up for the meandering story and the terrible characters. It’s certainly original and one of the stranger films I’ve seen but I didn’t expect to mostly just find it boring. It’s fucked-up, though. I’ll give it that. It’s one of very few movies I have that I’ll have to keep hidden away – you sure as shit don’t want your kids to ever get hold of this one. – 6/10

The Nun – Meh. I don’t know. This was actually a bit better than the terrible reviews would suggest. I thought it was far better than those idiotic Annabelle movies but far worse than the first Conjuring film. I thought the characters were all fairly strong (as far as horrors go) and I really liked the setting of the secluded old convent or castle or whatever it was. It was fairly creepy & atmospheric and, hell, I think I’m talking myself into liking this one a little more than I thought. I do love a good bit of Satanic horror but there are far better films in that sub-genre. I’ve realized that I’ve watched all of the Conjuring Universe films so far despite not being a huge fan. Here are my reviews & ratings:

The Conjuring – 7.5/10
The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case – 6/10
The Nun – 5.5/10
Annabelle – 5/10
Annabelle: Creation – 4.5/10

Frozen (2010) – Not the Anna & Elsa Frozen! I didn’t mind this horror film even though it’s a bit ridiculous. Three annoying twenty-somethings are left stranded on a ski chairlift when the resort shuts down for a week (or however long). That’s it. That’s the story. Actually, it ended up being okay and we got to know and like these characters a little. Well, they ended up far less annoying than they were at first at least. They do stupid shit but, to be honest, I’m not sure what I’d do in the same situation. Probably freeze to death. My rating is maybe a little harsh but it did get a bit too silly (and gross) and slightly boring at times. At least it’s far better than that horror movie where three twat twenty-somethings are trapped in an ATM booth thingy by some psychotic killer (in the imaginatively-titled ATM). – 5.5/10

Re-Watch: Bridge To Terabithia – This is actually a great coming of age movie based on a famous American kids’ book. I’d watched it years ago and hesitated when my daughter asked to watch it recently. It’s controversial for stupid reasons (but you know what uptight Americans are like). I don’t want to give away the plot if you know nothing about it but it’s one you need to look into first before deciding if your kid will be okay watching it. Mine liked it a lot. It’s a lovely, heartbreaking story with strong characters. I’ve ordered her the book now as well. I really should have read it as a kid. – 7.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

I didn’t manage to finish any books in September as I’ve been too busy. But I am finally almost done with The Outsider by Stephen King. Pretty good so far but started out slow & took too long for the weird supernatural stuff to happen (which is what I love the most). Also been reading Nightflyers And Other Stories by George R.R. Martin on my phone (digital library book – I’m so cheap!). But it’s too hard to read it through my cracked phone screen so I might have to look for the actual book instead. #FirstWorldProblems

TV SHOWS WATCHED

None. Okay, I’m lying – I’ve been watching America’s Got Talent on Netflix with the kid. She loves it. It’s a simple family thing to watch but I sincerely hate reality TV for the most part. I make fun of the sob stories and all the contrived, phony, “heartwarming” bullshit. Am I evil??? I like that card magician dude, though. I wonder how far he gets. (Don’t tell me!)

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Nothing planned. As I said, I’m too busy to do my usual horror posts. I’m also way behind on my 2018 Blind Spot reviews. I don’t think I’ll manage to watch all twelve this year.

October Releases I Maybe Want To See:

A Star Is Born – This is one of those that’ll be up for Oscars so I should watch it. But I don’t really want to…

Venom – Ha! Horrible reviews so far. I’ll skip it.

Mandy – Curious about this Nicolas Cage horror as the horror fans on Twitter have been raving about it. Sounds extreme. But I can’t say I fully trust any movie starring Nicolas Cage. Not the bees!!!

Bad Times At The El Royale – Jeff Bridges and shirtless Chris Hemsworth looking like some super sexy Jesus dude?? Oh yes. I’ll go to this but have to admit it looks like it may be a bit crap.

First Man – Want to see this but don’t love Damien Chazelle as its director. Am hoping it’s not as millennial as La La Land (sorry!).

Halloween – Will definitely go to this but with low expectations.

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween – Is it sad how much I want to see this?? I want more “scary” family movies!

Bohemian RhapsodyI love Queen and adored Freddie Mercury. This could be good or REALLY bad.

Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far On Foot – Looks pretty good but probably a Netflix film. Very indie so doubt it’ll get a wide release anyway.

The Guilty – A film from Denmark that I’ve only just noticed when looking up movies coming soon. Great reviews & sounds pretty good.

Slaughterhouse Rulez – We’ll see. Could be awesome! Hopefully it’ll be as good as Shaun Of The Dead.

Suspiria – First of all, remakes piss me off. Make something new, dammit! Second of all, this isn’t an October release in the UK – it’s out in November. WTF??? Not in time for Halloween? Piss off. It’s starring Dakota Johnson anyway so I’m not exactly thrilled despite almost liking its (derivative) “look” in the trailers.

And since it’s now October, let’s listen to the greatest horror score ever from the brilliant John Carpenter…

Watched, Read, Reviewed: August 2018

Happy October! Holy shit – I truly don’t know where this year has gone. I’m obviously way behind on this monthly roundup. I figured I better post this one quick before I post my September roundup. So here’s the crap I reviewed & watched in August! Well, it wasn’t all crap. Actually, most of it was good for a change.

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

Incredibles 2 – 7.5/10
Hotel Artemis – 7.5/10
Ant-Man And The Wasp – 7/10
The Secret Of Marrowbone – 7/10
Tag – 7/10
The Meg – 7/10
Christopher Robin – 7/10
Skyscraper – 6.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Splendor In The Grass – I’m cheating a little and doing this as a 2018 Blind Spot choice, although it’s not on the list as I was planning on adding it to my 2019 choices. But it happened to be on TV so I watched it and kind of loved it. I’ll do a full Blind Spot review of it sometime soon. – 8/10

Ant-Man And The Wasp – 7/10

The Meg – 7/10

Christopher Robin – 7/10

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation – I’m not a huge fan of the Mission: Impossible films although I do think they’re pretty great for this genre. Spy thrillers just aren’t really my thing. I’ve not seen them all (think I missed Ghost Protocol and maybe the second movie). I watched this in preparation for Fallout (oops – I missed it!) and I feel sort of the same about this one as I do the others even though I thought it was a strong film and probably the best I’ve seen so far. I just think I won’t remember much of it a year from now. Sorry! For me, the best thing about it by far was Rebecca Ferguson. She was great. Sexy & kick-ass but also feminine. Girl crush! I love characters like that. Preferred her to Cruise… – 7/10

The Ritual – Still not sure about this horror film. For the most part, I think I liked it. It was atmospheric and genuinely creepy at times (I rarely find horror movies scary in any way). The conflict between this group of friends due to something that happens at the beginning worked quite well with the story later on of the presence in the forest and the way it brings out hidden resentment. The thing that will make people love this or hate this is the ending. The movie changes and becomes a much different film from the Blair Witch type of beginning and this won’t work for everyone. I didn’t mind the ending but preferred the more mysterious, less in-your-face start to the film. – 6/10

We Bought A Zoo – This was a bit disappointing coming from Cameron Crowe. He’s never going to live up to the brilliant Say Anything! I actually don’t know what to say about this movie. It was “nice”. It was inoffensive. Unfortunately, it was completely forgettable. The acting was perfectly fine, I guess. Meh. I need Crowe to give me another Lloyd Dobler… – 6/10

Kingsman: The Golden Circle – This was disappointing as well. I quite liked the first film (despite the anal sex joke – whaaaat?!). The sequel went too overboard for me – it was far too silly in a way that didn’t work like it did in the first film. Plus the lack of Samuel L. Jackson definitely hurts this film. Who doesn’t love Jackson?! Julianne Moore was clearly having fun with her outrageous character but that didn’t really work either. However, I loved Elton John. I’ve never loved Elton John. He was hilarious. No one in this movie was having as much fun as he was. – 6/10

Zathura: A Space Adventure – Wow. I’d never seen this but it’s kind of bad. The first Jumanji film, though flawed and very dated now, is fun. I can see why it has its fans amongst people who were kids when it came out (I don’t love it – I was way too old). But I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle. Zathura looks pretty terrible and feels very low budget, the older brother is fucking hateful, and what was the point of Kristen Stewart’s character? Talk about not letting the female character get any screen time. I was bored and didn’t care what would happen to these annoying characters. Oh, and my kid was bored too. But she loves Jumanji… – 5/10

Re-Watch: Big Fish – Been watching all the age-appropriate Tim Burton movies with the kid & enjoyed seeing this again as I’d not watched it since going to it in 2003. The kid really liked it and I still feel the same: it’s sweet and lovely but definitely not my favorite Burton. I’ll always prefer his style in films such as Edward Scissorhands and A Nightmare Before Christmas. – 7.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

Strange Weather by Joe Hill (Aloft & Rain) – I reviewed the first two stories in this four story collection last month. Here’s the final two:

Story 3: Aloft – Definitely the most original story in this book! Probably one of the more original stories I’ve read in quite a while, actually. I really enjoyed this one. It’s the least “Stephen King-like” and I loved its non-horror weirdness. I don’t know how to talk about it without spoilers, though. It’s about… a cloud. Yeah. I think you’re best knowing no more than that beforehand if you read this book. It’s a fun story and I think I’ve preferred Hill’s short story collections to his full-length novels so far (I highly recommend his 20th Century Ghosts collection if you’re a fan of his or of his father Stephen King). – 4/5

Story 4: Rain – Definitely my least favorite story in this book, which was disappointing as it was a great (fucked-up) concept. In this story, thunderstorms in various parts of America suddenly start “raining” down sharp needles which rip those unfortunate enough to be caught outside in it to shreds. It started out promising but got too silly with the addition of a cult and then gave us an even more ridiculous ending. Damn. But I still liked it okay since, as I said, it was a good concept. I just wish the story had ended differently or maybe had more believable characters. – 2.5/5

The Sun Is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon – I keep saying I need to stop reading these YA books. I can’t help it. I need light, easy reads in between my horror, supernatural, sci-fi, apocalyptic & dystopian stuff! I have to pretend to be girly sometimes. I read this as I really liked Nicola Yoon’s book Everything, Everything. It’s not as strong as that one and the girl definitely isn’t as likeable but it’s a good romance if you like that mushy YA sort of stuff. The story itself is okay (but, again, far less interesting than that in Everything, Everything). It follows a girl & a boy who meet on the day the girl is due to be deported from America as she’s an illegal immigrant. As I said, the girl is borderline unlikeable. She’s not totally hateful – she’s just a bit cold & standoffish. Come to think of it, she reminds me of me… Ha! Shit. Maybe that’s why I could somewhat relate to her. The boy is loveable as shit, though. I was like “just fall in love with him already, bitch!”. His character made the novel much more enjoyable and they had great chemistry. I’m sure they’ll definitely make this into a movie. Oh, yep! Just looked it up. It’s listed on IMDb with a 2019 release. Hollywood is so fucking predictable. – 3/5

Currently Reading: The Outsider by Stephen King & Nightflyers And Other Stories by George R.R. Martin

TV SHOWS WATCHED

I’m still not really watching any TV other than Game Of Thrones & Stranger Things when they’re on so I don’t know why I have a TV section. I’m definitely giving up on The Walking Dead when that starts up again – it’s way too shit now! People think I watch a lot of movies but they’re each one & a half to two hours long. I look at people who binge watch entire seasons of TV in a weekend and think “how the fuck do you have the time?!”. But I did finish watching Sharp Objects since I really liked the book and love Amy Adams. She was fantastic in it and perfect for the role. The show was quite faithful to the book and I thought it was a far better adaptation than Big Little Lies.

I do need to get back to watching Black Mirror – That’s more my type of thing. I’ve watched all but the last series. I’m also a little curious about Maniac on Netflix. Anyone seen that?? It looks like I could either love it or hate it since Emma Stone has the potential to get on my nerves at times. But it’s from the guy who co-wrote the screenplay for It last year, which I freaking loved…

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

This update is so late that the coming month is now October. Unfortunately, I can’t do my usual Halloween Horror Month this year where I post nothing but horror movie reviews & top tens. I don’t have the time (or energy!). It’s a shame as I’ve always enjoyed doing that. I did watch a lot of horror films in the past year, however, so at the very least I may do one or two posts with super brief reviews of those.

As for September cinema releases, here are the ones I managed to see and some I missed. I’ll try to do full reviews of these.

Ones I Saw:

A Simple Favor – Needed to waste a couple of hours & went in with zero expectations. Enjoyed the shit out of this one. – 7.5/10

The House With A Clock In Its Walls – Fun. Love having “scary” family films to watch with the kid but thought Goosebumps was better. – 7/10

American Animals – Decent film but I was a little underwhelmed considering the true story is quite interesting yet the film managed to make it somewhat boring. – 6.5/10

The Nun – Meh. Better than those stupid Annabelle movies, at least. – 5.5/10

Some I Missed:

The Predator – I’m glad. The hubby saw it expecting it to be bad but was shocked at just HOW bad it was.

Crazy Rich Asians – Romantic comedy isn’t my thing but the reviews are good so I’ll watch it on Netflix.

King Of Thieves – Am disappointed by the bad reviews as I’ve wanted them to make a movie of this starring Michael Caine ever since the real heist happened. It’s obvious but perfect casting.

Here’s Elton John fucking people up in Kingsman: The Golden Circle. Spoilers, obviously. But the movie is a bit shit anyway.

Watched, Read, Reviewed: July 2018

I’m not finding much time for blogging at the moment but I’ll still try to do these monthly updates (over halfway through the next month!). I only managed to review one movie in July, although I did see quite a few in the cinema. I’ll try to review those over the next few weeks. And at some point I’ll manage to reply to comments too! Sorry I’ve not been around for those…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

The First Purge6.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Incredibles 2 – Will review in full – 7.5/10

The Light Between Oceans – I’m not sure why I stuck this on as it didn’t look like my type of thing (Oh yeah… because Michael Fassbender is hot). I thought it was very good and Alicia Vikander & Rachel Weisz were especially great at conveying the emotions involved in motherhood. It was easy to feel bad for both sides, even knowing that one was very much in the wrong. Good movie but probably more for women/mothers/grown-ups. – 7.5/10

Hotel Artemis – I’ll review this in full as well. Liked it much more than I expected to. – 7.5/10

The Secret Of Marrowbone – Will review this too. I thought it was a solid psychological horror compared to most the horror crap out there these days. – 7/10

Charade – I figured it was time to check out another Audrey Hepburn film after watching Roman Holiday a while back. I preferred this one, which I didn’t realize was going to be a bit of a comedic spoof of Alfred Hitchcock-type films. Hepburn & Cary Grant were adorable together, it had a great Henry Mancini score, and the opening titles were fantastic (I thought they were done by Saul Bass as they looked like Hitchcock titles but looked it up & they were done by Maurice Binder, who did titles for James Bond films). I wanted to like this movie more than I did, though. It does deserve a higher rating than I’m giving it. I think I’m just not normally a fan of the 60’s “screwball” comedies and prefer a full-on Hitchcock suspense film to the mix of genres in Charade. I can see why this would have its fans, though – it’s a fun movie with that great 60’s look and very iconic stars. – 7/10

Tag – I’ll review this as well. Love that this is based on a real group of guys. – 7/10

The First Purge6.5/10

Say When (aka Laggies) – I’ve said on here before that Keira Knightley annoys the hell out of me, so I’m not entirely sure why I keep watching her movies. I suppose it’s because she does “chick flicks” that suck less than most of them do plus the hubby will let me watch them alone. I enjoyed this one (despite it being Knightley!). It’s about a twentysomething who needs to grow up & do something with her life and, hell, I think most of us can relate to that (even if, like me, you’re almost double her age). It’s not the greatest film ever but I liked it as I could somewhat relate to it plus Sam Rockwell was great as the quirky dad of Knightley’s new teenage friend (Chloe Moretz). Actually, Rockwell was the best thing about this… he made up for Knightley. – 6.5/10

Happy Death Day – I was really annoyed that I missed this in the cinema last year as it sounded like a fun horror in the slightly-cheesy 80’s slasher style I’ll always have affection for (since I’m old). But the movie was a disappointment, although it’s enjoyable enough for an hour and a half of your time. I just think I won’t remember a thing about it in a few years. The biggest problem was probably that the main character was a hateful bitch, so it was hard to care if she’d ever be able to stop her murder from happening. Yeah, she changes at the end (as to be expected – the whole point is that she needs to be a better person), but… Meh. I think my expectations were just too high. This concept was obviously done so well in Groundhog Day that nothing that’s tried to use that same idea has worked as well. If you want a non-horror teen movie with the same idea, I enjoyed Before I Fall slightly more than this one. And if you want a modern horror comedy with a cheesy 80’s thing going on, The Final Girls was better than this one as well. – 6.5/10

Skyscraper – I’ll review this. So cheesy! – 6.5/10

Call Me By Your Name – I was sooooo looking forward to this one and really annoyed that I didn’t have the opportunity to see it before the Oscars. But I found it a bit boring? And I didn’t care about or like the characters in the slightest. Not sure why? The acting was fine. But the only real enjoyment I got out of this was loving the Psychedelic Furs song in it and thinking that Italy looks fucking gorgeous and how much I’d love to be living the life of these rich fuckers in 1980’s Italy. Actually, I think that’s the reason I couldn’t relate to this – not the fact that it’s a male romance but that I really can’t relate to their extravagant lifestyle. Did they do any work?! I want that life. I couldn’t truly feel sorry for Chalamet when he got to live such a privileged life. Plus, the romance was more lust than love. I didn’t feel a true connection between them despite Chalamet & Hammer both giving good performances. I just didn’t feel their heartbreak. Sorry! And that peach bit was gross. – 6.5/10

Elle – Umm. Not sure how I felt about this. I thought it was gonna be a good “revenge” drama but it’s not as straightforward as that. Stupid me should’ve looked at the director first – I’d have known what I was getting into with a Paul Verhoeven film! Well, Isabelle Huppert was fantastic so I can see why she was nominated for an Oscar for this performance. She’s 65 now?! She’s sexy as hell (I can say that without being creepy since I’m female). The subject matter (rape) is certainly uncomfortable, though. Don’t watch if you’re overly sensitive. – 6.5/10

Force Majeure – This was disappointing, especially as it had good reviews. The story revolves around an avalanche (that doesn’t end up hurting anyone) and the way the husband/father of a family of four has the instinct to run away from the danger instead of trying to protect his wife & kids. It’s listed as a comedy drama for some reason so I was expecting some good dark humour but it’s really just a straightforward drama. The acting is fine but it’s hard to really like anyone involved despite family problems being relatable to everyone. The movie is overlong and slightly boring as very little happens. – 6.5/10

The Incredible Hulk – I’ve now finally seen the only current MCU film I’d not yet seen! Damn – I guess I better update My Marvel Cinematic Universe Movie Ranking. Well, I’m in no hurry since this one certainly isn’t my favorite. It’s possibly in last place, although it’s not as bad as I was expecting. It’s just a little boring and felt somewhat pointless? Meh. Norton and Tyler were fine but we all see Ruffalo as the Hulk now anyway. I did like a couple of nods to the TV series, though, since I’m old & watched that show… – 6/10

A Ghost Story – What a load of pretentious twaddle. I was all prepared to like this, too, since I like Rooney Mara for some reason (even though she displays zero emotion in everything I’ve ever seen her in). To be fair, I can appreciate what this story was trying to achieve (does life have meaning or will we all just die and fade away and be forgotten blah blah blah). It’s actually quite a depressing film but do we really need to be reminded that life sucks, especially with the current state of the world?? Here’s my Twitter “tweet review” of this movie: Well. That was tedious. #AGhostStory ✨🏠👫🎹🎧🚗 💢 💀👻🙍🏻‍♀️🥧👩‍👧‍👦👻🍽💢😱🏚🏗🏙👩🏼‍🌾👻💀💀💀🏠👫👻👻📜🕳✨ – 6/10

Tromeo & Juliet – I’d seen most of Tromeo & Juliet in the past but decided to finally watch it all in, like, solidarity with James Gunn. Or something like that. He wrote this. It’s a fucking Troma film. Anyone who has seen a Troma film knows that the whole damn point is that they’re in extremely poor taste. They’re bad movies that are meant to be bad movies. And this one is as dreadful as the rest. No… Wait. To be fair, it’s quite well written for a Troma film. I still “like” The Toxic Avenger the most but Tromeo & Juliet has more memorable moments than most Troma films. I suppose it’s a masterpiece when compared to other movies from this studio. Here’s an image of the infamous penis monster in the film. You’re welcome. (And the next Guardians Of The Galaxy movie better not suck now. I love those films!) – 5/10

Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me – A couple of years ago, I spent a week reviewing Adrienne Shelly films after loving her own film Waitress and wanting to explore her older (and very indie) work as an actress. As I say, her old films are the very definition of indie and not easy to get a hold of so, when this one popped up on Amazon Prime in the UK, I watched it immediately. It’s… not good. But Shelly is as adorable and charming as always. I really wish she’d made it bigger in films much better than this one. But, in a way, I suppose that would have ruined some of that mysterious indie charm that she had? Anyway, I suppose this isn’t the worst low budget film I’ve ever seen but it tries too hard to be quirky. Sean Young plays batshit crazy the same way she always does and the Adult film star playing Shelly’s sister is truly hateful (but she’s meant to be so she plays the role well, I guess). I’d have hated the movie if it hadn’t been for Shelly and her love interest (played by Max Parrish) having good chemistry and being pretty likable. – 5/10

Tooth Fairy – Okay, my kid seems to have a thing for The Rock so we’re encouraging that and letting her watch the more family-friendly films of his. Yeah. Um. This one is pretty bad. I know it’s aimed at kids, but… Yikes. This is why I’m such a big fan of family films that are actually decent and manage to entertain people of all ages. Kids aren’t stupid – they know when a movie, like this one, is just a little too dumb. I’m glad Dwayne Johnson is doing better stuff now! By the way – the brilliant Julie Andrews is in this. Why, Julie? Why?!?!? – 4/10

The Snowman – What the FUCK was this?! How was this so bad?? Okay, I read and kind of enjoyed the book (review HERE) although it’s not the greatest and maybe a little cheesy. But they seriously could have made a decent film from the material. This movie was just… embarrassing. I’m sort of embarrassed that I still watched it despite the bad reviews. Trust the reviews. Maybe read the book if you think it sounds like a decent story. They changed quite a few things anyway (not for the better). Why did they start with this story anyway since it’s not the first book in a series involving this detective (played by Fassbender). I’m still annoyed I read the book assuming it was a one-off or at least the first book since a movie was being made of it. I’m not even going to start on Val Kilmer’s performance in this film. I don’t have the energy… – 4/10

The Emoji Movie – It’s as bad as you’ve heard. Okay – I can’t “review” this as I got too annoyed and ended up playing around on my phone the whole time. At home, by the way – people who play around on their phones in the cinema deserve severe punishment. Such as being forced to watch The Emoji Movie... – 3.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

• Strange Weather by Joe Hill (Snapshot & Loaded) – Oh I love Joe Hill. I’m starting to almost love his work as much as his dad’s (Stephen King). But maybe that’s because it’s becoming more & more like reading a King story… Hell, I won’t complain at that. I want another Stephen King! To be fair, Hill’s stories feel more “fresh” in some ways as they’re more modern. I’m also a sucker for the stuff he references as we’re clearly a similar age with similar pop culture tastes. This is a book of four novellas and I read these first two stories in July (I’ve finished the rest now – will talk about them in my August Roundup).

Story One: SnapshotI really liked this story – it’s maybe my favorite of the four (and, admittedly, the most King-like). I think it’s possibly also the shortest but I love a short story when it’s a good one. As always, I love a great concept and this (as well as Aloft) has a great one. Basically, a mysterious camera seems to “steal” the memories of those whose photos are taken with it. And I’ll leave it at that – I’ve already given away too much. I love supernatural weirdness. – 4/5

Story Two: Loaded – This was a really good story about various people and how guns have been a part of their lives (and how they bring them all together at the end). Knowing how vocal King & Hill are on Twitter, I think I know how they feel about America’s ridiculous gun obsession. I didn’t find this story preachy, though – it’s told in a straightforward way and it’s scary how believable it is. Because it’s the same damn story we hear coming from America every day and what those outside of the U.S. can’t understand. WELL! Fuck all that. It pisses me off. This is why I prefer supernatural stories about memory-stealing cameras! Good job, though, Hill – this was very well-written and your scariest story yet. Please go back to writing about weird things that I know probably won’t actually kill me or anyone I know… – 4/5

They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera – I have to stop reading YA books. I can’t help it… they’re easy reads! And usually enjoyable. This one is pretty good. As usual, I read it because I liked the concept (it’s set in a world where everyone receives a call on the last day of their lives to tell them that they’ll die within the next 24 hours). Obviously, the book is about living our lives to their fullest as we never know if each day may be our last. The story follows two strangers: teenage boys who receive the call & meet each other (through the “Last Friend” app) and decide to spend their last day on earth together. It’s pretty heartbreaking but I can’t say I really connected with the characters. I liked how their personalities were so different, though, as the more outgoing boy tries to bring the other boy, who has always been afraid of living, out of his shell for just one day. – 3/5

Currently Reading: The Sun Is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon (oops. YA again)

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Sharp Objects I really liked this book by Gillian Flynn and its throughly fucked-up characters. When I found out that Amy Adams would star in the TV adaptation, I was thrilled (love her!!). And then I was thrilled when they cast It’s Sophia Lillis to play the young version of the character. Perfection! They look so damn alike. It’s ridiculous that Chastain is playing her in the next It film. PAH! They look nothing alike. It should be Adams! Anyway – Adams is brilliant in this. As is Lillis, but that’s a much smaller part. As is Patricia Clarkson. As is everyone. So far, the show has been quite faithful to the book. I’m liking this adaptation far more than Big Little Lies, which made changes from the book which I really didn’t like (like making Witherspoon unfaithful!). Looking forward to seeing the rest of this & seeing everyone’s reaction to the ending…

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

No plans – I probably won’t post much. Well, I already haven’t… the month is almost over! I’ll try to catch up on reviewing cinema releases I’ve seen.

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

As I said, the month is almost over but these are the August releases I want/wanted to see…

Ant-Man And The Wasp – Saw it. Really enjoyed it. Will try to review it.

Mission: Impossible – Fallout – I actually just watched Rogue Nation in preparation but have decided I now don’t have the energy for this film as it’s so long… Netflix!

The Meg – But only at a “cheap” cinema. Not a film I wanna see at full price!

Christopher Robin – Looks cute. Will probably go to this.

The Darkest Minds – More fucking Dystopian YA?! I love Dystopian YA. Anyone know if this is okay for a mature 9-year-old who knows Tooth Fairy is shit?

BlacKkKlansman – Anyone know if this is okay for a 9-year-old? HA! Just kidding!!!! Oh shit. I forgot you can’t joke online! People will realize that was a joke, right????? Anyway – I want to see this.

The Happytime Murders – Hmm. I don’t know. I’m not sure about this one. But I did love Avenue Q

Upgrade – Like the sound of this one but it may be a “wait for Netflix” type of thing.

Searching – See same comment as for Upgrade

Now check out these awesome Charade titles and the fantastic Love My Way by The Psychedelic Furs from back in the old days when music didn’t suck ass like it all does now…

Watched, Read, Reviewed: June 2018

Happy July, everyone! I’m WAY behind on my June Roundup. How is it July 2018? Where’s the time going?! Where’s my life going?!? Well, here’s the stuff I watched & read in June 2018. Once again, I was disappointed with most things. I seriously need to see a really great movie soon…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

Enter The Dragon8.5/10
Deadpool 27/10
Ocean’s Eight7/10
Hereditary6.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Deadpool 27/10

Thief – Been wanting to watch this for a while as it’s Michael Mann’s first major film and I think Heat and Collateral are great. I got even more excited when the movie started and I saw that Tangerine Dream did the score. Yes!!! I love Tangerine Dream! This film is good & worth a watch if you’re a fan of either Mann or Tangerine Dream or late 70s/early 80s crime dramas. It feels like this probably inspired movies such as Drive looks-wise. It did drag a little, though. The characters were also a bit weak – I didn’t care too much about anyone although James Caan did do a decent job as a professional thief. Not as good as Heat but has the same great sort of look to it. It looks & feels like the best of Mann’s other work. – 7/10

The Florida Project – This was an odd one and I wasn’t sure while watching it if I liked it all that much. But I think I did. It grew on me and, weirdly, it was more entertaining than a lot of similar films that explore characters in situations where “nothing really happens”. I did really like Willem Dafoe in this although I don’t know if the role was “Oscar nominee” material. The main mother in this was annoying as hell and impossible to like but she felt like a real person, which not all movies are able to achieve. I ended up really liking her daughter & the other kids, although they seem bratty at first. They aren’t really, though – they’re just a product of their environment (a rundown motel just outside of Disney World). Actually, I thought the main girl (Brooklyn Prince) was a fantastic actress for her young age. Again, she felt like a real person. The setting was great (I love the look of that purple motel) and it was an interesting look at how there are people struggling to get by all over the world, including just outside of the happiest place on earth. I think I like this even more after writing this review… – 7/10

20th Century Women – This was actually pretty good! I really knew nothing about this going into it but I enjoyed each of the characters & their different personalities. Here’s the IMDb synopsis: “The story of a teenage boy, his mother, and two other women who help raise him among the love and freedom of Southern California of 1979.” I couldn’t fully relate to any of the women but I did really like Greta Gerwig’s music-loving photographer and I especially loved all the Talking Heads music that they listened to. Good drama with strong performances from everyone (Annette Bening, Elle Fanning, Greta Gerwig, Lucas Jade Zumann & Billy Crudup) but has maybe too much of an indie-feel for a mainstream audience. Glad I checked it out. – 7/10

Ocean’s Eight7/10

Hereditary6.5/10

Christine (2016) – This is based on the true story of Christine Chubbuck, a TV news reporter who killed herself live on air in 1974. I’m surprised I knew nothing of this story and had never even heard of this woman. The story is, obviously, tragic and horrifying but I think the film handled the subject matter as well as it could. Rebecca Hall did a good job as Christine (though I can’t say how accurate the performance was). Not an easy watch and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone going through a hard time emotionally. It’s a solid drama & well acted but with a very slow pace and a TV movie feel to it. – 6.5/10

A Bucket Of Blood – Amazon Prime seems to have a lot of cult classic horrors at the moment so, like Carnival Of Souls last month, I was happy to finally check out this Roger Corman horror comedy starring Dick Miller. I can’t say it’s a “good” film but it’s memorable and I loved the 50’s beatnik setting. Not enough movies focus on that sort of culture – it made it feel more unique. Here’s another IMDb synopsis if you’ve not heard of it: “A dim-witted busboy finds acclaim as an artist for a plaster-covered dead cat that is mistaken as a skillful statuette. The desire for more praise soon leads to an increasingly deadly series of works.” I enjoyed it plus it’s only just over an hour long so I appreciated that (I rarely have enough time to watch an entire movie in one sitting). 6.5/10

Cargo – Loved this movie’s concept and thought the short film it’s based on was pretty great. Like Lights Out, however, I thought the longer format didn’t really work. Sometimes less is more! The movie is okay and it’s still a very good concept but I found it a little boring (and I fell asleep for a while in the middle of it – don’t tell hubby because I can’t be bothered to watch what I missed). It’s nice, though, that they’re still somehow finding ways to make zombie movies that feel original! Watch it if you want a decent zombie film that’s more about drama & family and less about blood & guts but PLEASE watch the short film first. – 6.5/10

In Time – This was fine. A bit forgettable. Again, I liked the synopsis so finally decided to check this out. From IMDb: “In a future where people stop aging at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year, having the means to buy your way out of the situation is a shot at immortal youth. Here, Will Salas finds himself accused of murder and on the run with a hostage – a connection that becomes an important part of the way against the system.” The story was okay & I liked the way that people could “buy time” but a better movie could have been made from this story. Fun but probably a bit too glossy and full of pretty young people to take it very seriously. – 6/10

The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane – I watched this odd 1976 Jodie Foster film partly because I was sick of seeing it in my Netflix Watchlist (it’s been on there for years). I think I was under the impression that it was a straightforward horror but it’s more of a drama that almost feels like a play. Actually, the story would work quite well as a play (maybe it was a play – I’m too lazy to look into it). It drags & I found it a bit underwhelming but the young Foster did a good job as the mysterious 13-year-old who seems to live in a house all on her own. – 5.5/10

Swiss Army Man – Okaaaaaaay. This pretty much sucked. I was never really a fan of Weekend At Bernie’s because I thought the “drag a dead guy around and pretend he’s alive” gag was stupid. This is the same gag multiplied by one million. With farts. LOTS of farts. But… I guess it’s superior to Weekend At Bernie’s since it’s current & everything more than ten years old is shit in the eyes of the current generation? Anyway, I’d give it a lower rating but I have to admit that riding a dead guy like a waterski as his farts propel you is, um, original? And I always moan that there’s no originality these days. So I’ll be nice and give an extra point for some unique stupid gags that even Weekend At Bernie’s couldn’t have dreamed up. – 5/10

Dig Two Graves – Why do I occasionally watch random movies on Netflix that I’ve never heard of?? Well, I luck out sometimes – I thought Circle was fantastic. But the random ones in the horror genre are always shit. I’ll say that the acting in this was decent, though. Far better than the story itself, which didn’t hold my interest. Overall, it was yet another modern horror that was a waste of my time but it’s probably not as “bad” as my rating suggests. It showed some promise. It wasn’t as dumb as most the horrors that get a full cinema release. It was just dull. – 4.5/10

The Dark Tower – What in the actual fuck WAS this?! I love King but never got around to reading The Dark Tower series. I did read The Gunslinger (review HERE), though. The first book. This movie is NOT The Gunslinger. I know people have said it takes elements from the other books. Ugh. Whatever. I’ll keep reading the books as people do rave about them and they all trash this terrible adaptation. Just read The Gunslinger. Avoid this movie – it doesn’t resemble the story I read in any way whatsoever. – 3/10

Re-Watch: Mrs. Doubtfire – Never did love this movie but finally watched it with the kid. She liked it okay but didn’t love it. I do love Robin Williams, though. Miss him! – 6/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

Odd Hours by Dean Koontz – I love Dean Koontz. I recently did a post of My Top Ten Dean Koontz books HERE. The Odd Thomas series is great, mainly because the main character is so good. The first book is the best by FAR of what I’ve read so far, though, although I did enjoy book 3 (Brother Odd). I found this one (book 4) disappointing. Maybe it’s like the Star Trek movies but the opposite – only the odd numbers are good?? Ha! ODD numbers. Anyway – I’ll keep reading as I love the character. – 3/5

Currently Reading: They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera & Strange Weather by Joe Hill

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Girls – I needed a short show to have on while exercising & saw this one was available & realized I’d watched all but the final two seasons. So I watched the final two seasons. The characters were as fucking hateful as always. Seriously – are these the most hateful people in a tv series ever or WHAT?! Yes. Yes they are. If these people were a part of my real life, I’d do everything in my power to avoid them. They never felt at all realistic. Are there really people like these?!? I used to think there weren’t but, thanks to Twitter, I’m thinking there really are people as nauseating as these four girls. But, fuck it – anyone who says this show wasn’t well written and wasn’t funny at times is a liar. Because it’s hard to admit. These people are so hateful that we don’t want to give the show any credit. However, that final episode may be the worst finale for a show that I’ve ever seen. What on Earth were they thinking?! What a let down.

13 Reasons Why – I’ve now seen two episodes. It’s fine. I read the book (my review is HERE) and the adaptation is decent so far. But I do have issues with the story being told at all. It’s a very sensitive topic and I don’t think the book necessarily handled it well so don’t know if the show will either. Seeing what season 2 is about, though, makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t believe they went there… I’ll only be watching season 1, which is the story in the book.

The IT Crowd – Again, I finally started this as I need a short show on while exercising. I watched the first episode. I wasn’t really feeling it… Maybe I’ll give it another go at some point.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

(Well, the month is half over so I’ve seen some of these now)

The First Purge – Saw it. Liked it but it’s the weakest of the four. My review is HERE.

Mary Shelley – I’ll probably wait for Netflix.

Skyscraper – Looks dumb but fun. Anyone know if it’s appropriate for a 9-year-old? She weirdly seems to like The Rock. She did love Rampage, which was pretty intense…

Incredibles 2 – Saw it! Loved it. Will try to review it this week.

The Secret Of Marrowbone – Looks okay but I know that 90% of modern horrors disappoint me so who knows? May wait for Netflix.

Hotel Artemis – Hmm. Looked fun but hasn’t had great reviews. Feels like a John Wick ripoff anyway.

Watched, Read, Reviewed: May 2018

Happy June, everyone! As always, I’m behind on my blog. I’m annoyed that I didn’t see Deadpool 2 in May (but I’ve seen it now – I’ll review it soon). And I didn’t manage to review my Blind Spot movie in May (Enter The Dragon) so I might post two Blind Spot reviews in June. Or not. Life is too busy! But you gotta put life first. 🙂 Here’s the crap I watched & read in May…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

Solo: A Star Wars Story – 8/10
Tully – 7.5/10
Rampage – 6.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

War For The Planet Of The Apes – LOVED this. Wasn’t happy that I missed out on seeing this in the cinema last year but things were too hectic for me when it was out. If I’d seen it, it easily would’ve made My Top Ten Movies Of 2017. I’d put it in either 3rd or 4th place – I can’t decide if it would be above Blade Runner 2049 or not. Oh, by the way, I’d also add Colossal to that Top Ten now too and I recommend that if you’ve not seen it. But back to the apes! How great are those apes?! Who ever would’ve thought that they could look SO damn good?? I mean, I’m still a fan of the original 1968 film but this reboot has been amazing, especially in the development of these characters. The ape characters, of course. Love them. It’s funny how we can care so much more about them than we can about most human characters in movies nowadays. Anyway – I don’t need to ramble on forever. I missed this at the time but am so glad I’ve finally caught up. This has easily been one of the most satisfying reboots ever and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed these films. But I hope they end it here – it would make for the perfect ending plus Hollywood needs to learn to quit while ahead. – 8/10

Solo: A Star Wars Story – 8/10

Metropolis – This is a Blind Spot choice so I’ll review it in full soon. It’s a gorgeous film. – 8/10

The Theory Of Everything – I’m happy that I finally watched this as well. I gotta be honest – Eddie Redmayne annoys me for some reason so that may be why I didn’t rush to see this. But, damn, he earned that Oscar! He was brilliant in this film. I’m sorry, Eddie Redmayne! I was also equally impressed by Felicity Jones – it’s a shame she didn’t get an Oscar as well but at least she was nominated. Jane Hawking came across as an incredibly strong woman in this movie so it’s a shame I think the role was overshadowed. I’ll be honest again and say that I didn’t know much about the life of Stephen Hawking, especially his personal life, so I found this film fascinating. I don’t normally like many “true stories” based on real people but this film was fantastic. Stephen & Jane Hawking led an amazing life. R.I.P. Stephen Hawking. – 8/10

A Monster Calls – I read this book last year (it just made it into My Top Ten Books Of 2017). I never got around to reviewing the book but thought it was a great pre-teen to young adult novel showing a different way of handling grief. What the boy goes through with his mother’s cancer felt very real & heartbreaking. The idea for the story was conceived by Siobhan Dowd while she had cancer. She died before she could write it, so it was written by Patrick Ness. This probably helped add to the grief feeling so real in the book. As for the movie, it’s a great adaptation & very faithful to the book. I loved the look of the film (also true to the illustrated version of the book that I read). Felicity Jones (again!) is very good as the mother, the boy (Lewis MacDougall) is great in a very difficult role, and Sigourney Weaver, um, sounds weird as hell with an English accent. And the dad is a useless fuckwit (same as in the book). The movie is so faithful that you could probably just watch the movie if you really don’t want to read the book. But I recommend at least one or the other. Be sure to have tissues… – 7.5/10

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes – I don’t know why I’m on a Marilyn Monroe kick but this is the third movie of hers that I’ve watched in the past several months. I always wanted to check this one out since, not gonna lie, I loved Madonna’s Material Girl video. Wow – she really did do an almost exact copy of Marilyn’s performance in this film. It was fun finally watching that scene in full. Of the three films I’ve seen so far, Marilyn played the “dumb blonde” and I don’t know if she did much beyond that sort of character but, hell, it worked. I thought I might find her a little annoying (sorry!) but she’s likable in a very innocent yet shrewd sort of way. Monroe herself wasn’t dumb in the slightest – she used what worked for her and, yes, I can see her appeal. Personality-wise, though, I’d have to say that I’d personally choose to be more like Jane Russell’s character in this. She’s the very definition of SASSY! I don’t watch enough old films so I think this is the first thing I’ve seen her in. I especially loved how she lusted over the male Olympians (I loved that song & dance number – I’ll stick it at the end of this post). Together, Russell & Monroe made a great team in this with their very different, yet determined, personalities. And this is probably the best I’ve seen from Monroe – I think Russell helped bring out the best in her here. I think I have a weird sort of girl crush on the combo of the two of them. I still like Some Like It Hot the most but far preferred Gentleman Prefer Blondes to The Seven Year Itch, which is dated in a somewhat uncomfortable way that doesn’t really work now. All three have outdated values but, screw it, who cares? These movies were made in a very different time. Monroe and Russell are very sexy but also very strong women in this one. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is just a really fun film. Movies are rarely fun anymore. – 7.5/10

Tully – 7.5/10

Everything, Everything – This is another book that I read last year and liked a heck of a lot. But it’s sooooo “Young Adult romance” and definitely not for everyone. Again, this is a pretty faithful adaptation but the book did a better job of capturing the likable personality of Madeline, who suffers from “severe combined immunodeficiency” and hasn’t been able to leave her house for 18 years. This becomes complicated when she falls for the boy who has just moved in next door. Amandla Stenberg is perfect as Madeline, though. Hey – she was Rue in The Hunger Games! When did she grow up? She’s adorable. The boy she falls for is played by Nick Robinson from Love, Simon. He was good as well but the movie tells you very little about him. Anyway. I really liked the book and this adaptation but you won’t like this one unless you’re into YA romances. – 7/10

Atomic Blonde – This was fine but a bit disappointing. I feel similar to how I felt about The Hitman’s Bodyguard – it has a lot of big movie stars who did well in a weak film. Charlize Theron was great – tough & sexy & had me wondering how I would look in a blonde wig just like hers (I’d look shit – I’m not Charlize Theron). This is set in 1989 so I loved the soundtrack but the movie does try too hard to look “cool”. But it’s still a good-looking film and I totally wanted to be Charlize (without all the “getting beat to shit” stuff). I had fun with it and enjoyed it more than The Hitman’s Bodyguard. This is from one of the same directors as John Wick and it’s basically John Wick but with boobs and a far weaker storyline. – 6.5/10

Shane – I watched this because this is the film they watched in Logan. Seriously – I’m weird like that. I’m always interested in looking into the films showing within films. This is a full-on old Western and not even one of those cool Leone Spaghetti Westerns so it’s not my favorite sort of genre and I’m certainly no expert. But it’s a very good film with some gorgeous cinematography and Shane is a really cool tough dude who stands up for what’s right. It’s a timeless story & totally deserves a much higher rating than I’m giving it. But the Leone films are much more my thing if I’m going to make myself watch Westerns. – 6.5/10

Rampage – 6.5/10

Carnival Of Souls (1962) – I’ve wanted to see this for years (FYI – it’s on Amazon Prime UK). Mainly because of the title: CARNIVAL OF SOULS!!! Seriously – that’s an awesome title. The movie itself? Low budget and extremely slow-paced. I love the idea of the story, though, and can see that this probably influenced many later horror films such as Romero’s brilliant Night Of The Living Dead. There’s some great stuff going on in this movie, including creepy & atmospheric organ music and zombielike people who seem to be after the main character’s soul following her car accident. I want to give this a higher rating. It deserves higher. I may up my rating at some point… I do think it’s worthy of its cult status and that all film lovers, especially horror film lovers, should see it. But it IS very slow. The story is dragged out for too long but, to be fair, the ending won’t have been blatantly obvious in 1962. This film was probably a bit of a shock back then! But it could’ve made for a kick ass half-hour episode of The Twilight Zone instead. – 6.5/10

Going In Style – I watched this as it seemed like a nice, lightweight film starring three actors that I really like. Oh, shit – one of them is in trouble now. Dammit. Am I allowed to talk about this movie now? At this rate, I’m going to have to delete half my blog’s old Top Ten lists involving male actors (I’d never do that – I don’t believe in erasing the past). Anyway, this film was fine but a bit meh. It’s one of those that I enjoyed well enough while watching but will barely remember in a year. It relies too much on its big name stars, who all did well and were likable as always but the story is a bit weak. – 6/10

The Space Between Us -The same again – a bit meh. Disappointing as I really loved the plot synopsis on IMDb: “The first human born on Mars travels to Earth for the first time, experiencing the wonders of the planet through fresh eyes. He embarks on an adventure with a street smart girl to discover how he came to be.” It was okay. I liked the story but they somehow managed to make it into a very bland film. I like all the actors in it and am not really sure where it all went wrong. Oh well. I didn’t feel like I’d wasted my time – I just wanted it to be better. – 6/10

Goodnight Mommy – Another big disappointment after a lot of bloggers really seemed to like this one. I wanted to like it and it did start out very strong. But the “twist” was obvious from the start. I assume it was meant to be, though. Right? It’s been done so often now. I just really hated how this movie ended. Too over-the-top. And I know we’re not necessarily meant to like everyone in a horror film but I still want to care about at least one of the characters. It was hard to sympathize with anyone in this, even though there was a very good reason to. But the ending took that away. Well, the film did have a great look to it and started out very promising. I’d probably still watch another film from the same directors since this had potential. – 5.5/10

Annabelle: Creation – Ugh. I trashed the first movie HERE. The first film was ridiculous and couldn’t have been more cliché. At first, it seemed that this one was going to be much better. Oh, hell no! It’s even worse. I think it made me appreciate the first film more, even with all its overused horror tropes. Those things are overused because they sometimes work. This sequel probably could have used a little more of that. I dunno. I think what annoys me with modern horror films such as these, besides the predictability and stupid jump scares and lack of originality or good storytelling, is the filmmakers’ obvious hatred for the characters. The characters are only there to die. So why would I give a shit about what happens? In that case, I’d rather watch silly 80’s slashers which had a sense of fun. We need at least one person to root for/to possibly survive/to not be possessed. I mean, we do have a nice group of young girls I wanted to like but they got so little character development. And a tragic beginning turns a sweet couple into “creepy people who act strange”. It doesn’t end well in this film for people who don’t deserve to suffer (sorry if that’s spoiler-y). And, okay, maybe I don’t like sweet young girls turning into psychotic demons. Well, maybe in a good movie. Actually, I like demonic kids – The Omen is awesome… Never mind. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. This movie just sucked. – 4.5/10

Re-Watch: Stardust – Watched this with the kid and she loved it. She adores The Princess Bride (since she has awesome taste like her mother) so I figured she’d enjoy this as well. Not that this is nearly as good as The Princess Bride! But nothing is… – 7.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell – Me & my YA novels! What can I say? They’re simple reads and some are pretty good. This is one of the pretty good ones. It’s yet again another romance but the characters feel real & truly in love despite being so different. Plus, it’s set in the 80s and they talk about lots of music that I like so that was a big plus for me (I’m so old). The story is pretty straightforward but the characters make this a really enjoyable read. – 4/5

The Loneliest Girl In The Universe by Lauren James – This was an odd one. I love sci-if so was intrigued by this synopsis at Goodreads: “Romy Silvers is the only surviving crew-member of a spaceship travelling to a new planet, on a mission to establish a second home for humanity amongst the stars. Alone in space, she is the loneliest girl in the universe until she hears about a new ship which has launched from Earth – with a single passenger on board. A boy called J. Their only communication with each other is via email – and due to the distance between them, their messages take months to transmit across space. And yet Romy finds herself falling in love. But what does Romy really know about J? And what do the mysterious messages which have started arriving from Earth really mean? Sometimes, there’s something worse than being alone . . . ” This is, I guess, what would fall under the YA definition again? But only because it involves a teenage girl. And it’s not a romance in the way it sounds in the synopsis. It’s hard to describe this without spoilers but this gets pretty intense at the end and I have to say it was a real page-turner as I took it everywhere with me as I was eager to find out how it would end. I liked the way we learn about these chatacters through e-mails that they aren’t able to reply to until months later. And the thought of being alone in space has always intrigued me/freaked me out. But I’m not sure how I feel about the direction the book takes at the end. It would make for a good movie & I liked the story but I’m not sure this “YA sci-fi romance drama thriller” quite worked. – 3/5

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn – I’ve now read all of Flynn’s novels and I think she’s a very good & entertaining writer, especially as I’m not usually into the crime thriller type of genre. Gone Girl drove me a bit crazy with its hateful characters but it was a damn good read. Sharp Objects, however, was so utterly twisted that it’s my favorite so far just because it was so bonkers. Dark Places was also a good read from Flynn but definitely my least favorite of her full-length novels so far. But that’s not saying it’s bad – it’s a twisty turny murder mystery that I’m sure any fans of this genre would like. It’s just not my favorite genre. And although everyone in it is truly fucked-up, I liked the even crazier Sharp Objects-level of fucked-up. – 3/5

Laurie by Stephen King – This was fine. A very short, not-full-on-horror type of King story. This was a freebie released by King as a precursor to his new novel, The Outsider. Can’t wait to get that! I adore King and try to read everything of his. If you like King too, you need to read Laurie. – 3/5

Currently Reading: Odd Hours by Dean Koontz

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Just stupid Grey’s Anatomy. Still. For some reason. They almost killed off a main doctor character again. Such a dangerous hospital to work in!!! Boring season finale. Maybe they should’ve killed someone after all.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom – I’m not overly excited, though, to be honest. The last one was just okay. But I’m not a massive Jurassic Park fan beyond the very first film anyway.

Hereditary – This looks intense! And I always get excited by horrors that actually get really great reviews. This is the movie I’m most looking forward to this month. Can’t wait!

Ocean’s 8 – Looks like a bit of fun but I don’t expect much more than that.

Sicario 2: Soldado – I thought Sicario was fantastic despite it not being my type of genre at all. But different people are involved this time (no Villeneuve or Deakins!) so it’s hard to get overly excited about it.

May watch on Netflix:
Book Club, In The Fade, Adrift, Tag, Leave No Trace

Watched, Read, Reviewed: April 2018

I’ve been disappointed with a lot of the movies I’ve watched this year but I finally saw some decent ones in April. I even saw a good modern horror! Those are few & far between. Here’s my month of April…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

A Quiet Place – 8/10
Avengers: Infinity War – 8/10
Citizen Kane – 7.5/10
Love, Simon – 7.5/10
Blockers – 6/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Enter The Dragon – I loved this! Probably my favorite movie I’ve seen this year so far. It’s a Blind Spot choice of mine so I’ll review it in full soon. – 8.5/10

A Quiet Place – 8/10

Avengers: Infinity War – 8/10

Love, Simon – 7.5/10

Berlin Syndrome – I actually thought this was a decent psychological thriller. Starring Teresa Palmer & Max Riemelt, this is the IMDb synopsis: A passionate holiday romance leads to an obsessive relationship, when an Australian photojournalist wakes one morning in a Berlin apartment and is unable to leave. I’m always interested to see how a character will behave in this sort of situation (Teresa Palmer is the one being kept locked up in the apartment belonging to a stranger she’s slept with while on holiday). It’s strange to see him go about his daily life as normal each day while keeping her imprisoned and to see the “relationship” develop between them (he sees her as his girlfriend, of sorts, in his messed up mind). And she of course depends on him for food, etc, to survive. It’s based on a book so I’d be interested to know more about the characters’ feelings & motivations as I think the movie doesn’t explore this well enough. Maybe I’ll read the novel sometime. – 6.5/10

Blockers – 6/10

Midnight Run – Yes, the 1988 Robert De Niro/Charles Grodin film. This is one of those “re-watches” that I don’t count as a re-watch since I didn’t remember it whatsoever. What can I say? Yes, it’s a bit dated & of its time but I grew up in the Eighties & love films from that time. This was enjoyable but, yes, somehat forgettable (which is why I’d forgotten it!). They make a good movie duo, though. Certainly worth a watch if you like De Niro and/or Eighties films. – 6.5/10

The Beguiled (2017) – I was quite disappointed with this film, although I don’t think it’s “bad”. I like a lot of Sofia Coppola’s movies & was really looking forward to seeing this remake done from a female perspective. I saw the original Clint Eastwood movie last year & thought it was really good (it made it into My Top Ten Clint Eastwood Movies list – I don’t know why I’ve watched so many of his movies since starting this blog but he really has been in some great films!). This remake ended up feeling completely pointless. Okay, I know that 99.9% of remakes ARE pointless. But Coppola brings nothing new to the table. The movie is pretty much a straight copy but with far more shallow characters, which I certainly wasn’t expecting. I figured they’d have much more depth but the characters actually felt far more complex in the original. There are so many shades of gray going on in the original – you don’t know who to trust or who you should be rooting for (well, probably Eastwood – those ladies go pretty crazy). Oh hell, it’s probably Colin Farrell’s fault that I didn’t like the remake. Is it just me or is he a borderline horrible actor? The women all did fine (although their characters were very watered down versions of those in the original film). But, with Farrell, there was this… Nothingness. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t get into this one. I don’t even particularly like Eastwood but he was soooo much better in this role. Okay, maybe it’s not your fault, Sofia! This film did look lovely and it was worth a watch to compare the two. But the male lead character is SUCH an important role in this film and they chose someone very wrong for the part. They needed someone with depth whose motivations seem unclear. Oh… Imagine Daniel Day-Lewis or similar in this movie. It could’ve been great if that had happened. – 6.5/10

The Hitman’s Bodyguard – Again, this was a bit disappointing but my expectations weren’t exactly high. I just wanted a fun popcorn movie and who doesn’t like Samuel L. Jackson & Ryan Reynolds?! It was fun seeing them together but Reynolds doesn’t get to be as lovably goofy as I think we all expect now. Overall, the movie was a bit boring & forgettable. Salma Hayek’s character (the kick-ass, tough talking wife of Jackson) actually steals the show. – 6.5/10

Honey – Yeah, the old Jessica Alba dance movie. I admit to liking a girly dance movie sometimes (like Save The Last Dance, which I’d now like to re-watch). Although the Breakin’ movies kick the shit out of these two! Anyway, Honey is cheesy & predictable but I liked it just fine. It’s exactly what I expected. And my kid loved it (she’s a fraction young – we skipped some of the sexy sexy stuff). I’d have liked to see much more Missy Elliott in this – she was fun. – 6/10

The Circle – Ugh. This was a very bad adaptation of a flawed book (I reviewed the book HERE). And I’m starting to think that Emma Watson truly annoys the hell out of me. To be fair, her character was thoroughly hateful in the book so she was probably right for the movie adaptation. Tom Hanks was very wrong for his role. This movie just does a horrible job getting its point across. Well, I’m not sure it even had a point. The book starts out really well addressing the evils of shit like Facebook and a world with a complete lack of privacy (See? NOW you’re all starting to see the truth!). But the book falls apart at the end, which sucked as it was making a very scary & valid point to begin with. But the movie just says “fuck it!” and doesn’t even attempt to make any sort of social commentary whatsoever. Just watch The Social Network instead of this. – 5/10

• Re-Watch: Iron Man – I won’t rank this re-watch as I know this film very well. I’m going to work my way through re-watching the Marvel movies with my kid as she loved Avengers: Infinity War and now wants to see them all from the start. I’m not a massive superhero fan but I do like the Marvel characters a lot and this film is easily one of the best (I’ve ranked all the MCU films HEREIron Man is my second favorite). – 8/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

The Masque Of The Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe – Well, I’ll be damned! Edgar Allan Poe was one hell of a writer. I guess that’s why he’s considered one of the best in this genre, eh? I loved this short story. So descriptive and atmospheric. Macabre and creepy. I’m definitely going to finally read some more Poe now. I should’ve read this years ago. The spooky shit is right up my alley. – 4.5/5

Brother Odd by Dean Koontz – I love Dean Koontz – he’s kind of a guilty pleasure that I don’t actually feel guilty about. He’s no Stephen King and, I’m not gonna lie, all his books follow the exact same sort of formula. But it’s an enjoyable formula that always contains likable characters and very weird supernatural stories that are a lot of fun. This is the third book in the Odd Thomas series (I reviewed the movie HERE). The first Odd Thomas is easily one of Koontz’s best books and Odd is a great character who is clearly popular with fans. I can’t say I remember Book 2 very well but Brother Odd is possibly one of the slightly more strange Koontz stories (they’re all highly strange, though!). Strange is good.  I’m eager to continue the series now after finding Book 2 forgettable and not reading the next one until many years later. – 3.5/5

The Grownup by Gillian Flynn – Hmm. This short story started out strong then just kind of… Ended. It was one of those stories where you finish it & go “Huh? That’s it?” I really enjoyed Flynn’s Gone Girl & especially Sharp Objects and am currently in the middle of Dark Places. Good so far. Guess her full length novels are much better than her short stories. – 2.5/5

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Greys Anatomy – Why do I watch this? I think I just like to see who they might kill off next. How do so many doctors die violently in medical dramas?! ER was the best for that. Remember when what’s his face grumpy bald doctor dude got squished by the helicopter after previously having his arm chopped off by one? Being a TV doctor is dangerous.

The Walking Dead – Fuck this show. That finale was the worst one yet. I’m finally giving up on continuing with this.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

Wow – May is a shitty month for movies! I only want to see three. Maybe I’ll be more productive this month since I won’t be wasting time at the cinema. Hmm…

Tully – I really liked Juno and thought Young Adult was okay so am looking forward to another Diablo Cody/Jason Reitman collaboration.

Deadpool 2 – The first one was hilarious and Ryan Reynolds is adorable. I’ll definitely be catching this one.

Solo: A Star Wars Story – Tickets already booked! I actually wasn’t sure how I felt about this one but I have to say that the trailers finally got me excited. This may turn out to be quite good. We’ll see! Fingers crossed…

Maybe watch on Netflix if I can be bothered:
Life Of The Party (unless reviews are dreadful), Breaking In, How To Talk To Girls At Parties,The Cured, On Chesil Beach, The Breadwinner

No Fucking Way:
I Feel Pretty

Watched, Read, Reviewed: March 2018

I didn’t manage to see many movies in the cinema in March and most that I watched at home were meh. But I did love I, Tonya! And Ready Player One was fun. I’ll do mini-reviews below for the ones I haven’t reviewed yet…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

I, Tonya – 8/10
Ready Player One – 8/10
Game Night – 7.5/10
Annihilation6.5/10
Atonement – 6/10


MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

I, Tonya – 8/10

Ready Player One – 8/10

Game Night – 7.5/10

Personal Shopper – I liked this although it wasn’t quite what I was expecting. I’m not a fan of Kristen Stewart so wasn’t planning on watching this until reading that it had a supernatural twist. Here’s the IMDb synopsis: “A personal shopper in Paris refuses to leave the city until she makes contact with her twin brother who previously died there. Her life becomes more complicated when a mysterious person contacts her via text message.” It’s an odd mix of mystery, supernatural, indie, and Kristen Stewart nudity. Not as supernatural as I was hoping but a decent story that kept me interested. – 7/10

Hidden Figures – Finally catching up on more of last year’s Oscar nominees! This is a fantastic story that I fully admit to knowing nothing about before the movie was made. It’s the type of movie I wish there was more of now that my kid is the right sort of age for these things: inspirational people & true stories in a family-friendly format. However, it still comes across as a little bit too much of a phony feelgood Hollywood movie. The story is important & I’m glad that more is now known about these women. Even though the whole “running miles to the segregated bathroom each day” was mostly bullshit. The three main performances were strong (I especially liked Janelle Monáe – I’d like to see her in more films). It’s worth watching, especially with your kids. But be sure to look into the real women as well since, to be expected, Hollywood changed things and amalgamated characters to make more drama than actually existed within the NASA environment. – 7/10

Annihilation6.5/10

The Seven Year Itch – I decided to check out more of Billy Wilder & Marilyn Monroe after thoroughly enjoying Some Like It Hot (my mini-review is HERE). The Seven Year Itch hasn’t aged nearly as well. I know it was a different time & I always keep this in mind when watching older films but this one really feels out of place now with the “all men are simple idiots who can’t help themselves around beautiful women” trope. But I do think Monroe was truly iconic and, although her naïve sexy blonde thing also feels out of place today, there’s no denying a certain likability there despite what I suspect was an ability to only play one type of character (but I know I need to watch more than just two of her movies to see if that was the case). Monroe is the true star of this film while the “tempted male” (Tom Ewell), who talks outloud to himself through the whole film, is quite annoying. I do wonder if I’d feel this way if he’d been played by someone like Jack Lemmon, who may have made the character much more likable & funny. Thanks to Wilder there’s still some sharp writing, though, and it’s worth watching for some very iconic Monroe scenes (including the one with the famous white dress being blown up by the subway grate). What’s interesting is that the scene is nothing like the pictures you’ve seen where you see all of her: you only see shots of her legs & her face separately. Sadly, I read this bit of trivia at IMDb, which adds a terrible twist to that scene: “Not without a distinct ring of irony, the nine-month Marilyn Monroe-Joe DiMaggio marriage officially ended during this shoot. DiMaggio was furious about the filming of the scene where his wife’s dress blows up, and the next day, Monroe reportedly required make-up to cover up bruises from the ensuing domestic fight. Three weeks later, she filed for divorce.” Horrible. But I think it’s well known that, despite being one of the most famous sex symbols of all time, it didn’t bring Monroe much happiness. – 7/10

Tickled – This is a documentary investigating a bizarre practice called “Competitive Endurance Tickling”. The filmmaker, David Farrier, discovered videos online of late teen/twentysomething males tickling tied-up males. It seemed strange but fairly innocent until he decided to look into things further for his documentary. The story takes a very sinister turn when he discovers that these young men were blackmailed and threatened over the videos. He then starts receiving very disturbing threats as he gets deeper into the story and the true indentity of the person behind the videos & harassment. This is certainly one of the more odd & intriguing documentaries I’ve seen & I do recommend it if you like a weird story. It reminded me a bit of Catfish (2010) in that both are so unbelievable that they almost feel staged. But I don’t think this was – it just needs to be seen to be believed. (This probably deserves a higher rating but I’m not a huge fan of documentaries & tend to rate them lower). – 6.5/10

Teen Witch – Hahaha! Oh. Wow. This is BAD. I’m not sure how I managed to miss out on a teen movie back in 1989 but, for some reason, this one passed me by. I’m giving it a decent rating, however, as it’s so bad that it almost achieves that “so bad it’s good” status. Not in a Road House kind of way (which is so bad it’s AWESOME) but the many silly bits are quite entertaining. It’s hard to pick a favorite part but the “I Like Boys” dance routine in the locker room was pretty fucking hilarious – I’ve put that video at the end of this post if you want a laugh. And if you like 80’s cheese, you should definitely watch Teen Witch. To be fair, I think it knows it’s cheesy… – 6/10

Table 19 – I didn’t know beforehand who’d written this story (Mark & Jay Duplass). Ugh, those mumblecore guys. I’m not really a fan of that subgenre. But Table 19 isn’t a mumblecore film, FYI (though I’m not sure why since it mostly fits the definition – maybe it’s excluded since some stuff actually happens in this movie). Here’s the Wikipedia definition if you don’t know what I’m talking about & link to list of films: “Mumblecore is a subgenre of independent film characterized by naturalistic acting and dialogue (often improvised), low-budget film production, an emphasis on dialogue over plot, and a focus on the personal relationships of people in their 20s and 30s.” Looking at that, though, I see that I do like some of the mumblegore movies (mumblecore in the horror genre). Mostly the Ti West films such as The House Of The Devil but I can definitely see how those got the mumblegore label. Who wants to watch millennials sitting around & whining about their lives for two hours while never actually doing anything?! I just realized what mumblecore is… It’s all those whiny bitches I try to avoid on social media! No thanks. Oops – I’m meant to be talking about Table 19. It’s borderline mumblecore and it did take me a while to get into it but I liked that it went in a direction I wasn’t expecting. It gets more serious than it first seems it’s going to be and I ended up not hating Anna Kendrick like you may at first because of her behavior at the beginning. It’s an okay film but just be aware of the writers beforehand and know that you’re not going to be getting too much of a plot. Wow – I really doubt I’ve talked anyone into watching this. It’s not bad. It’s an interesting assortment of characters and I ended up liking those played by Kendrick, Stephen Merchant & especially June Squibb. – 6/10

Free Fire – This was my first Ben Wheatley film and… Meh. It looks like some of his other films are considered mumblegore so I guess that tells me that I may not be a fan. I thought the story and characters were okay but it’s really just Tarantino-light. It’s a boring version of Reservoir Dogs without the witty banter. The hubby hated it & fell asleep after moaning about the terrible editing or something (I don’t notice that sort of thing) but I kept watching as it kept me slightly interested. But only slightly. Maybe Wheatley’s other (non-mumble) movies are better? – 6/10

The Levelling – I saw a review really praising this when it came out last year & liked the sound of if. IMDb synopsis: “Somerset, October 2014. When Clover Catto (Ellie Kendrick) receives a call telling her that her younger brother Harry (Joe Blakemore) is dead, she must return to her family farm and face the man she hasn’t spoken to in years: her father Aubrey (David Troughton).” Boring indie drama. Complete waste of my time although I suppose there were some okay performances. Sorry – this just isn’t my type of thing at all but it may work for others who enjoy dark & dreary dramas in which very little happens. And it’s so grey & wet & rainy & muddy – I get enough of that in real-life England. Screw that. – 5/10

It Comes At Night – Another 2017 movie that I was wanting to see ASAP due to its rave reviews at the time. WTF?! I was bored out of my damn mind! I’m starting to truly believe that IMDb is being filled with fake reviews written by the studios. This has a 78 out of 100 metascore?! Fuck off! Nothing happens in this but, to be fair, there’s more of a plot than the mumblegore stuff. The performances are good, especially from Joel Edgerton’s son in the movie (Kelvin Harrison Jr). But. But. Ugh. I don’t know. If someone here did like this, I’d genuinely be interested to hear why. Because maybe I’m missing something since, for a horror, it has a decent IMDb user rating as well (6.2). I’m really annoyed with the shitty movies I wasted time on in March. I have too many other things to do. – 4.5/10

Demolition Man – Wow. This movie is absolutely dreadful. Like Teen Witch, this one passed me by for some reason even though I was just out of high school & watching this kind of crap. I’m actually shocked at how bad it is. Not “so bad it’s good”. Just plain BAD. I thought I’d finally be watching some kick ass 90’s action flick like Speed or something (a good Sandra Bullock movie!). I had no idea this was a cheesy “comedy”. Not gonna lie, though – I fell asleep. I saw maybe 40 minutes. In five years of blogging, I’ve forced myself to finish every movie I watch no matter how shitty. No more! I don’t have the time. This movie broke me. I can’t continue. I just can’t. – Not Rated As I Refuse To Finish It

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve – This book was pretty great! I’d never ever heard of this series until seeing the movie adaptation listed on IMDb, currently scheduled for a December 2018 release. Here’s the synopsis: “Many years after the “Sixty Minute War,” cities survive a now desolate Earth by moving around on giant wheels attacking and devouring smaller towns to replenish their resources.” Cities on wheels “eating” smaller cities. That’s nuts! I love the concept. And in this first book, the focus is on the city of London. The movie appears to have Peter Jackson involvement and will be directed by someone who did the visual effects for a lot of his films (Christian Rivers). I’m really looking forward to the movie. If done right, it could be great. As for the book, I’ll try to do a separate full review of it before the movie. It’s a “kids book” but aimed at the same sort of age range as Harry Potter. It’s one of the more entertaining books I’ve read in a while. – 4/5

Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli – The movie adaptation of this (Love, Simon) comes out in UK cinemas this Friday. This is a YA book (yeah, I do like YA books) and it’s one of the better ones I’ve read in this genre in the past few years. I’m not normally one for YA “romance” (give me the apocalyptic stuff!) but this one was done well and I really bought into this relationship. In the book, Simon is a gay high school student who connects with then starts an anonymous online relationship with another student at his school. I’ve never wanted a couple to get together so bad! The boy Simon talks to is extremely protective of his identity and Simon struggles with this as he wants to meet the boy he’s fallen in love with. I was like “Tell him who you are!!” (you, the reader, aren’t aware of his identity either). Beyond that, there’s not much to say about this book as it’s a fairly typical YA romance. But it’s a good one. I can’t wait to see the movie, which has had excellent reviews. I’ve even heard rumors of it having a John Hughes vibe?! Sounds good to me! – 4/5

Every Day by David Levithan – Again, this is a book that I read because, like Mortal Engines, I loved the original concept. It’s hard to find stories that feel unique. And, again, it’s a YA romance (Ugh. Sorry!). Here’s the synopsis from Amazon: “Each morning, A wakes up in a different body. There’s never any warning about who it will be, but A is used to that. Never get too attached. Avoid being noticed. Do not interfere. And that’s fine – until A wakes up in the body of Justin and meets Justin’s girlfriend, Rhiannon. From that moment, the rules by which A has been living no longer apply. Because finally A has found someone he wants to be with – every day . . .” The story does feel truly original and I really appreciated that. However, I just didn’t quite connect with the characters. A, who switches bodies every single day, was very interesting as you get some insight into the mind of someone who doesn’t define themselves by their body, gender, family, friends, etc. since these things change every single day. As I said, it’s a great concept but the book is just okay. I didn’t find myself caring as much about these characters as I’d have liked. This also has a movie adaptation coming out this month, but the reviews are meh. I’ll still watch it to see how they handle the story, though. – 3/5

Annnnnd…. I’m still in the middle of Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King & Owen King. I’ll finish it someday!

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Grey’s Anatomy – It’s shit.

The Walking Dead – It’s even more shit than Grey’s Anatomy.

I seriously need to get back onto the Black Mirrors. Or find some reruns of The Golden Girls or something! TV sucks now.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Again, not much! I just plan to review my monthly Blind Spot movie (Citizen Kane or Enter The Dragon) & any films I see in the cinema.

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

A Quiet Place – Ohhh – a horror movie with excellent reviews?! I’m super excited for this & will try to go to it this weekend. However, It Comes At Night also had great reviews & it was shit. So who knows! Horror is very subjective.

Love, Simon – Definitely going to this as well as I really enjoyed the book.

Thoroughbreds – This looks interesting. Kind of Heathers-like maybe?? (But of course nothing can top that). May try to catch this one and try to not be upset at yet again seeing Anton Yelchin in a movie (RIP – I really liked him).

I Kill Giants – Liked the sound of this but some are saying it’s too similar to and not nearly as good as A Monster Calls.

Ghost Stories – Supernatural short stories?? SO my type of thing! But since reviews are now meh, I may wait for Netflix.

Wonderstruck – Based on a book by the same guy who wrote Hugo, which I loved as a movie. Wondering if it’s a good family movie to take the kid to…

Tully – Diablo Cody & Jason Reitman? I’m, like, the exact target audience for this. I’m very likely to check this out. I loved Juno.

Every Day – As I said above, the book is okay but the movie has meh reviews so far. I’ll watch it but may wait for Netflix.

Wildling – What IS this?! Another horror movie with fantastic reviews?!?! Liv Tyler & Brad Dourif????? I’m extremely curious about this one!

Avengers: Infinity War – Yeah. I’ll go to it. Of course. But I’m bored with superheroes. I’ll mainly be watching it for sexy Thor and all the Guardians Of The Galaxy characters! THOSE I love.

Will Wait To Watch On Netflix If I Can Be Arsed With These:
The Hurricane Heist, Rampage, Truth Or Dare, The Titan, The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society

Now, here’s a small taste of what you’ll experience if you ever watch Teen Witch: 😉

Watched, Read, Reviewed: February 2018

Well, it’s now March and the Oscars were last night. I hope they announced the correct winners this year! (I have no idea since I’m writing this before the Oscars… I hope Blade Runner 2049 won some stuff). I hope something got fucked up, though. That wrong Best Picture announcement was hilarious.

**Update to say I watched I, Tonya just before the Oscars. Loved it. Would love to see wins for the actresses! I’ll review it later this week.**

Let’s see how I wasted February…. I watched more movies than I realized.

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

The Shape Of Water – 8/10
Lady Bird – 7.5/10
The Greatest Showman – 7.5/10
Darkest Hour – 7.5/10
Good Time – 7/10
Gleaming The Cube – 6.5/10
Black Panther – 6.5/10
Kong: Skull Island – 6/10
The Cloverfield Paradox – 4.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

The Shape Of Water – 8/10
Lady Bird – 7.5/10
The Greatest Showman – 7.5/10
Darkest Hour – 7.5/10
• The King’s Speech – 7.5/10 (This is in the IMDB Top 250 so I’ll do a full review at some point. I watched it after liking Darkest Hour.)
Good Time – 7/10
Black Panther – 6.5/10
Kong: Skull Island – 6/10
The Cloverfield Paradox – 4.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ

• You Were Never Really Here by Jonathan Ames: This is an extremely short novel (under 100 pages and the book is quite tiny). So it’s worth a read as it won’t take you long! The story is very straightforward but you get a small glimpse of the main character’s unhinged mind (played by Joaquin Phoenix in the film adaptation). I have to say this will probably be a case of the movie improving on the book and I can see Phoenix truly being able to delve into the depths of a damaged mind in a way the short story was unable to. I’ll wait for Netflix, though, as the hammer rampages will be a bit too much for me to witness on film.

I’m still in the middle of Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King & Owen King. It’s very very long, so I’m taking a break. I’m currently reading Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli before the movie (Love, Simon) comes out next month.

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Well, Grey’s Anatomy has started up again so I half watch that shit while playing on my phone. And, of course, The Walking Dead has started up again too. Why do I still watch that?! This mid-season premiere had the most pointless death yet. I don’t know if they can ever turn things around again. I’m bored with this show.

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Nothing. Too busy! But I plan to keep watching movies…

Upcoming Movies I Want To See (by UK release date):

Game Night – This looks fun & fairly original. Will try to make it to see this one.

Gringo – Not really my type of genre but some big names in this & the trailer looks okay. One I’ll probably watch on Netflix, though.

You Were Never Really Here – Will watch this as I read the book but it will be a Netflix watch for me since I’m a wuss with violence. I can hide my face behind a pillow whenever Joaquin grabs his hammer.

Annihilation – Really liked this book & cannot WAIT for the film after the rave reviews. Wish I could see it on the big screen but, since society sucks & only watches shit like Fifty Shades, this is going straight to Netflix in the UK in a couple of weeks. Screw you, society!

A Wrinkle In Time – Was really hoping to read this book with my kid before the movie but she doesn’t seem bothered. Maybe I’ll quickly read it by myself. I have to say that the movie looks a little cheesy in the trailer (the costumes more than anything). But maybe that’s what they look like in the book. Dunno!

Pacific Rim Uprising – Braindead popcorn movie. I did enjoy the first one. If this gets really horrible reviews, though, I’ll wait & watch it at home.

Unsane – Don’t know much about this but am intrigued by a Steven Soderbergh horror/thriller….

Ready Player One – This was my most anticipated movie of 2018 as I love Spielberg & love the 80s & thoroughly enjoyed the book. I have to say that I don’t like the look of this one so much after the newest trailer & posters. I think too much has been changed, especially things that were a secret until the end of the book now clearly being known from the start. I’m now worried about liking this film. Damn.

The “Meh, maybe on Netflix if I can be bothered” movies:

Red Sparrow, A Fantastic Woman, Monster Family, Mum & Dad, Wonder Wheel, Tomb Raider, The Square, Mary Magdalene, Peter Rabbit, Proud Mary, Isle Of Dogs, Blockers

Watched, Read, Reviewed: January 2018

Happy February! YES, January is over!!! (I hate January). And since movies cheer me up, I watched quite a few during the darkest & dreariest month of the year. Here’s what I watched…

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED THIS MONTH (ranked best to worst):

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, MissouriMy Rating: 8/10
The French ConnectionMy Rating: 7.5/10
CocoMy Rating: 7.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED THIS MONTH (ranked best to worst):

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – I really liked this movie & it’s easily my favorite of Martin McDonagh’s films. It’s also my favorite of the three Best Picture nominees I’ve seen (this, Darkest Hour & Get Out) but I’m hoping to see a few more before the Oscars. My Rating: 8/10

Colossal – I actually kind of loved this movie. No, not kind of. I did love it. Not what I was expecting as Anne Hathaway annoys me! I’ve already posted My Top Ten Movies Of 2017 list so won’t amend it but Colossal would be in the Top Ten (I’d put it at 8 after Gerald’s Game & before Thor: Ragnarok). THIS is the type of movie that I want to see. Something truly original. I’m sooo sick of all the remakes & reboots & superheroes. I highly recommend this one to fellow bloggers who are sick of seeing the same old predictable shit all the time. My Rating: 8/10

Coco – I’ve already reviewed this so I’ll say it’s another lovely film by Pixar but sadly not my favorite from the brilliant studio. My Rating: 7.5/10

Citizen Kane – This is a 2018 Blind Spot choice so I’ll review it in full at some point. Hoped to love it more. My Rating: 7.5/10

Mudbound – Yikes. A hard watch. This is a Netflix original that I admit to only watching because it got some Oscar nominations. I’m not good with heavy dramas as I often find them too upsetting, especially if they’re true stories or something that could realistically have happened. The movie itself is just okay – I was very bored for the first half. But the characters and acting are very strong and I immediately loved the characters played by Garrett Hedlund & Jason Mitchell, two soldiers who become friends after returning home from WWII and have to deal with the extreme racism of the time. I knew it would all go to shit and I got very emotional & couldn’t watch the screen at one point (Sorry – trying to avoid spoilers but you’ll know when watching it that it’s all leading up to something bad). This is why I don’t watch many realistic dramas. I like to use movies as escapism from all the shit in the world. But I can say this movie certainly does its job in making you feel for these characters (as well as feeling an extreme hatred toward others – I was fucking angry). It’s worth watching for the performances as long as you know it’s a heavy drama but it’s slow going at first and is overlong. I was only really interested in the friendship forming between the two soldiers – the movie dragged when spending time on Jason Clarke’s & Carey Mulligan’s boring characters. My Rating: 7/10

Ghost In The Shell (2017) – I watched the original anime film last year as a Blind Spot movie (review HERE) and thought it was pretty damn fantastic. Of COURSE this doesn’t even come close to the original but, as far as dumbed-down Hollywood versions of classics go, I’ve seen far worse than this one. It had some great visuals (taken directly from the original) and was well-paced and entertaining in that braindead blockbuster type of way. It was disappointing that they dumbed it down, especially at the end as it started off fairly promising. But, hey – that’s Hollywood for you. Just please watch the original before watching this! My Rating: 6.5/10

The Big Sick – A solid film about a real couple with funny moments but far more drama than I was expecting. I was intrigued by the story (it’s quite an interesting relationship story!) but it was very slow to start and felt a little long. Well-written and worth a one-time watch. My Rating: 6.5/10

The Red Turtle – I’m a huge Studio Ghibli fan so was really looking forward to this co-Ghibli production. It’s a sweet & lovely film but, unlike my beloved Ghibli movies that I could watch over and over and over again (and have), The Red Turtle is a one-off watch for me. Kind of disapponting & a little bit slow. Sorry. I’m glad I finally saw it, though. My Rating: 6.5/10

Gleaming The Cube – Another Blind Spot choice (weird one, I know), I’ll review this in full at some point. My Rating: 6.5/10

Atonement – And another Blind Spot movie! I’m trying to get ahead. I’ll review this at some point too but I can tell you it was a massive disappointment. I kind of sort of hated it. My Rating: 6/10

Nymphomaniac: Vol I & Vol II – I have a slight fascination with Lars von Trier’s films although I don’t know if I can exactly they say that I’ve actually “liked” any of them. Maybe Melancholia. Nymphomaniac: Vol I & Vol II are by far my least favorites of his work that I’ve seen. I just didn’t see the point of these movies. To shock? I certainly didn’t give the slightest shit about any of the characters. If you want to see a film that’s a better exploration of sex addiction, watch Shame instead. And I’ve now seen waaaaaay more penises than I ever wanted to see. So, uh, thanks for that, von Trier. I guess. My Rating: 5/10

The Boss Baby – I watched this since it’s an Oscar nominee. Yes, this is the world we live in. Humanity deserves The Boss Baby. Because humanity sucks. Okay, The Boss Baby sucks but I’ve seen worse animated kids’ movies, which is a fucking scary statement. The Boss Baby is weird as shit but at least it’s, um, an original idea? I said something nice! My Rating: 4.5/10

The Autopsy Of Jane Doe – Why do I bother to watch modern horror movies when 90% of them suck? Like this one. I don’t know if I have the energy to again do horror movie reviews for all of October this year. If I do, I’ll review this piece of shit. For now, I’ll be nice again and say that at least this one also had a fairly original concept and going through the stages of the autopsy was kind of interesting. My Rating: 4.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

This month has been mega hectic so I’m still in the middle of the book I started in December: Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King & son Owen King. Enjoying it so far! It’s a thick book… I think my next one needs to be more lightweight. I’ll probably read A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L’Engle with my kid next in anticipation of the film adaptation in March.

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Black Mirror – Season 2, Episodes 2-4 (White Bear, The Waldo Moment, White Christmas. Season 3, Episodes 1-5 (Nosedive, Playtest, Shut Up And Dance, San Junipero, Men Against Fire) – Clearly, I’m working my way through the Black Mirrors so I’ve watched no other TV shows. One left to go then I can finally start season 4!

As I’ve watched so many and would like to discuss each episode, I’ll do a full Black Mirror post once I’ve seen them all. For now, San Junipero is my favorite episode. I’ll also say that I’m really enjoying the show as it’s right up my alley. However, I find it somewhat overrated. Being a big fan of the original Twilight Zone, I think that was a far more groundbreaking show. Black Mirror just adds a more modern twist to the exact same morality tales as were in The Twilight Zone. Anyway! As I love to rank stuff, here’s my ranking so far (from favorite to least favorite):

San Junipero
White Bear
Be Right Back
Nosedive
Fifteen Million Merits
White Christmas
Men Against Fire
Playtest
The National Anthem
The Waldo Moment
The Entire History Of You
Shut Up And Dance

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

Oscars Shit!!!

It’s that time of year! It’s like the Super Bowl for movie nerds! I love/hate the Academy Awards. They’re absolute bullshit and the wrong things win all the time but, fuck it, I’ll probably always watch the stupid show. At least there was some excitement last year with the wrong winner being announced. Best thing to happen to the show in years!

I don’t have any huge blog plans for the Oscars as I’m taking it easy on blogging. I’ll probably just do a post choosing what I want to win & what I think will win for each category. However, I do plan to try to watch as many nominees as possible since most are coming out in the UK over this next month. I’ll review any more Oscar nominees that I watch. These are the nominees I’ve seen so far (not ranked! I’m slacking):

(Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, Darkest Hour, Get Out, Mudbound, Logan, Coco, The Big Sick, Blade Runner: 2049, Baby Driver, Beauty and the Beast, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, The Boss Baby, Heaven Is a Traffic Jam on the 405, Lou, Garden Party)

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

Loads that I want to see this month! I can’t wait! In order of release date…

Winchester – Er. Damn. Bad reviews so far! I’d really liked the sound of this. May wait for Netflix now.

Black Panther – I’ll watch it but, as I’ve said many times on this blog, I’m superheroed-out. I’m bored. But this looks promising.

The Shape Of Water – The one I’m most excited about. Finally! Out on Valentine’s Day here. This is one I won’t be missing.

Lady Bird – Another big nominee so will do my best to see this as well.

I, Tonya – I’ve always been fascinated by this fucked-up true story. Really looking forward to finally getting to see this.

Annihilation – I read this book last year and really liked it so can’t wait to see how they manage to make a movie out of it (it’s weird). But I don’t know what’s up with this. Apparently it’s “too intelligent” for the general public so they’re planning to now not release it in UK cinemas? WTF?!? Give the public some damn credit! Oh. Wait. This is the world in which The Boss Baby is an Oscar nominee. Never mind. 😉 Supposedly Annihilation will be released in the UK straight to Netflix instead….

I saw Darkest Hour over the weekend so will try to review that this week. Gary Oldman is freaking fantastic. Give him the Oscar!

Have a great February, everyone!

**Oh, holy shit! The new Cloverfield movie is on Netflix! I am SO watching that ASAFP!!!!!** 🙂

Stranger Things Are Afoot At The Circle-K

Hubby made this Bill & Ted’s/Stranger Things mash-up image after we read about the plans for the new Bill & Ted movie: Bill & Ted Face The Music. I want to see this movie SO BAD. Here’s a great, very detailed article & interview with its writer Ed Solomon: Digital Spy.

As usual, the thing holding up production is Hollywood wanting to shit all over it by making it a reboot with two whole new characters instead of a sequel. Why is Hollywood so stupid?! Solomon’s plans for the script sound like perfection & exactly what Bill & Ted fans will want. I hope it gets made the way it’s meant to be. 🙂

And here are a couple of Bill & Ted haikus from my old blogging days when I had the time & patience to attempt “writing”:

My Haiku:
Phone booth time travel
Bill and Ted save world with tunes
Dust in the wind, dude

Hubby’s Haiku:
Military school
Or time travel in phone booth?
Be excellent, dudes!

My 8-year-old’s Haiku:
Bill And Ted Are Dead
Grim Reaper Is Behind Them
And party on, dudes!

And I guess I better do a Stranger Things haiku, too:
Winona hangs lights
Eleven in Upside Down
L’Eggo my Eggo!

Watched, Read, Reviewed: December 2017

I hope you all had a great Christmas/time-off-of-work holiday! Can you believe it’s almost 2018? Can you believe the world even survived 2017?!? Well, here’s the shit I watched & read in December. Yeah, I know the month isn’t quite over. I’ll probably be watching Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle today or tomorrow… (I did! I’ve edited the post to add it)

MOVIES THIS MONTH

MOVIES REVIEWED (ranked best to worst):

Star Wars: The Last JediMy Rating: 8/10
Wolf ChildrenMy Rating: 8/10
Jumanji: Welcome To The JungleMy Rating: 7.5/10
Ace In The Hole – My Rating: 6.5/10

MOVIES WATCHED (ranked best to worst):

Star Wars: The Last Jedi – I wasn’t sure how I felt about this after seeing it. Mainly, I was disappointed. I’ve now just seen it a second time, worried I’d end up hating it. I actually liked it more. Maybe it will grow on me… My Rating: 8/10

Some Like It Hot – I thoroughly enjoyed this Billy Wilder classic, which I watched as well as Roman Holiday to get more IMDB Top 250 films ticked off my list. I’m not a huge comedy fan so they’re never my first choice of films to watch. But this is good comedy. Maybe I should stick to old stuff? The writing is so much better than the shit we get today. I do love Jack Lemmon & he was easily my favorite thing about this. This is also the first Marilyn Monroe movie I’ve ever seen and I can now understand her sex appeal, although I can’t picture her playing any other sort of role. The character of Sugar Kane was perfect for her, though, and these three made for a fantastic trio (Tony Curtis being the other one). This was certainly one of the more enjoyable Top 250 films that I’ve watched in quite a while. My Rating: 8/10

Jumanji: Welcome To The JungleNot gonna lie – this film is a lot of fun & I really enjoyed it. I’ll review it in full on Sunday. My Rating: 7.5/10 (reviewed HERE)

Lion – I’m desperately trying to watch some of the many 2017 UK cinema releases that I missed out on before posting my end-of-year lists next week but I don’t think I’ll manage to see many more. I’ve started with all the “Oscar” movies, which we got here in January. They’ve been disappointing (Moonlight, Manchester By The Sea, Super Boring Jackie). All good but not “all-time great Oscar classics”. Lion is the same but I enjoyed it the most (although Moonlight & Manchester By The Sea are better films). I’m just not a heavy drama person & I’m a sucker for uplifting, happy endings. And Lion has an amazing true story which gave me warm fuzzies. I admit to not knowing the true story, however, and don’t know how much was added for dramatic effect. The ending felt a little too… Perfect? I wonder if that’s exactly how that went down. As a film, Lion is flawed. The pacing isn’t great and it felt far longer than it was. I had no idea that Dev Patel was only in half the film (he shows up halfway through) but that was okay as the young boy playing him in the first half (Sunny Pawar) was great. Where’s HIS nomination?! I liked how they spent a good amount of time showing his bond with his brother in the beginning. I expected to prefer the second half of the film but that’s where it dragged plus Rooney Mara felt a bit pointless. Nicole Kidman was very good (I used to hate her but I’m starting to like her). I’m rambling. Lion is a feel-good true story with good performances but the movie could’ve been a bit better. My Rating: 7/10

Roman Holiday Another one to tick off my Top 250 list. I was a little disappointed with this one. I think I had images from another Audrey Hepburn film confused with this one (not Breakfast At Tiffany’s or My Fair Lady – I’ve seen those). Anyway – it turned out that I knew nothing about this plot whatsoever or that she was a princess in it. I think it hasn’t aged as well as some of her more iconic films but I think that’s mainly because this same story has now been done in a lot of films since, although I recognize that it was probably a very original idea at the time. So the story itself is just okay but Hepburn & Gregory Peck are great together, which will be what makes this a beloved classic. Hepburn won an Oscar for Roman Holiday and I did enjoy seeing this fashion icon in an early role as I’ve not seen many of her films. Hubby pointed out that, along with Some Like It Hot, I watched two very different female icons of their time and it’s interesting to compare the two. I can see why both had their fans but I can’t identify with Hepburn in any way whatsoever. I guess I have no class. Plus, I like some curves and Monroe had some va-va-VOOM. But I also can’t identify with that! Conclusion: I like what I’ve seen of both of them. I need to watch more of their films. My Rating: 7/10

Olaf’s Frozen Adventure – This was cute. Why the hell did people have such a problem with it?? People need to chill the f*%k out sometimes! It’s not as good as Frozen Fever but still enjoyable and I once again loved Anna’s & Elsa’s dresses. My Rating: 6.5/10

Life – Another 2017 film that I’ve just caught up on. Meh. It’s a highly flawed film but I did get some enjoyment out of it and I thought the alien was fairly well done. And the deaths were super gross in kind of a cool way. The characters were poorly developed but, if you’re simply wanting a death-by-evil-alien film, this will do. It’s interesting that it came out the same year as Alien: Covenant & I know some people preferred Life. As much as Covenant pissed me the hell off, I still have to say it’s the better film. Slightly. But both suck and Alien & Aliens kick the living SHIT out of them. My Rating: 6/10

StorksThis was fine. The babies were adorable. It’s not like this is a Disney or Pixar film, which are in a league of their own. But it was far better & more enjoyable than that stupid Sing movie that I watched last month. My Rating: 5.5/10

BOOKS, TV, MUSIC, MISCELLANEOUS THIS MONTH

BOOKS READ (ranked best to worst)

The Sisters Brothers by Patrick DeWitt – This strange Western is the only novel I managed to read this month, plus half of a book of short horror stories (called Alfred Hitchcock’s Book Of Horror Stories: No. 6. This is soooo my type of thing). The Sisters Brothers was interesting. I have to admit that I picked it up (for 50p in a charity shop) based 100% on that cool ass cover up there. I didn’t love it but it’s not exactly my sort of thing. I did like it, though, and found the story refreshingly original. The characters were also really well developed and I especially liked brother Eli (who will be played by John C. Reilly in the movie next year and who I think is perfect for the role). The movie will also star Joaquin Phoenix & Jake Gyllenhaal and I think it has the potential to be made into a thoroughly entertaining film. I recommend reading the book first if you like the sound of the movie. It’s probably quite different from anything you’ve read before.

Currently Reading: Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King & Owen King– I was so happy to get this for Christmas! Love the concept. I’m about ten pages in… Hopefully I’ll be finished by the time I do my end-of-January post.

TV SHOWS WATCHED (ranked best to worst)

Black Mirror – Season 1, Episode 3: The Entire History Of You & Season 2, Episode 1: Be Right Back‬. I’m loving this show & glad I’m finally watching it. I have to say, though, that The Entire History Of You was a very weak episode (starring the new Doctor Who Doctor Jodie Whittaker, I should add). But I expect there to be brilliant ones & bad ones and this one was a poor rip-off of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind but with hateful characters. Luckily, Be Right Back got the show back on track & is my favorite episode so far. Starring Domhnall Gleeson & Hayley Atwell, it was a thoughtful look at dealing with grief in a strange new way as well as questioning whether our social media personalities are a true reflection of who we really are.

Grey’s Anatomy: Season 14 so far. Why do I watch this stupid show? I think it’s because the hubby won’t let me watch anything without him that he might have the tiniest bit of interest in watching. So I get stuck watching shit like Grey’s Anatomy when alone. Thanks, hubby! ;-P

• The Walking Dead: Season 8 so far. The Walking Dead sucks SO much now that I’ve ranked it below Grey’s F*^king Anatomy. Someone bring Frank Darabont back! I don’t care how mean he is! He wouldn’t have written this season’s dumbest & most pointless death EVER. But, like Grey’s Anatomy, I’ve stuck with it this long that I feel I have to watch to the end. Watching the TV screen like a damn zombie…

BLOG PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTH

YEAR-END BEST OF 2017 LISTS!!!!! Yeah, I love lists. I have a different list ready to post every day next week starting on Monday. You’ll be sick of me by next Friday (if you aren’t already). 😉 Here are the lists I’ll be posting next week:

– My IMDB Top 250 Challenge Update
– My 2017 Blind Spot Movies: Ranked
– My Top Ten Books Read In 2017
– My Top Ten Movies Watched At Home In 2017 (Release dates prior to 2017)
– My Top Ten Movies Of 2017 (Released in the UK in 2017)

Upcoming Movies I Want To See:

I have to admit that I lose the will to live a little bit when looking at the list of upcoming 2018 films. Can anything other than superhero movies be made? Please?!?!? There are a few I’m looking forward to, though. It’ll be great to finally get to see The Shape Of Water in February after hearing about it for so long. But let’s see what’s out in January that I want to see…

Coco. Finally! I hate how the UK has to wait so long for Pixar films. Yet we get the Marvel stuff before America… I’d rather get the Pixar stuff first!

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Guess I gotta watch this with all the high ratings. Looks good. But I’m looking forward to February more. There are loads of movies I want to see in February! But I’ll talk about those in my January month-end recap.

See you all in 2018. Hope you have a Happy New Year! 🙂

I’m sorry. This pops into my head anytime I hear the Coco movie mentioned. Baking soda! Make it stop!!!

The Watcher In The Woods (1980) Review

The Watcher In The Woods (1980)

Directed by John Hough & Vincent McEveety (uncredited)

Based on A Watcher in the Woods by Florence Engel Randall

Starring: Bette Davis, Carroll Baker, David McCallum, Lynn-Holly Johnson, Kyle Richards

Production company: Walt Disney Productions

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)
The film tells the story of a teenage girl and her little sister who become encompassed in a supernatural mystery regarding a missing girl in the woods surrounding their new home in the English countryside.

My Opinion:

This is a Disney horror movie! Yep, you read that right! I can’t believe I didn’t know of this film’s existence. Well, I had heard of it and liked the sound of it so recorded it when it popped up on TV several months ago but I don’t think I ever realized it was a Disney film. Okay, it’s not like it’s a Saw film or something. This is “horror-light”. Think: R.L. Stine Goosebumps-level horror. It’s a fun film and I think, being a lover of things like the original The Twilight Zone from a very young age, I’d have loved this movie if I’d seen it as a kid.

This movie is from 1980 and I’m not gonna lie – it’s very 1980 so it’s unlikely that a younger generation would necessarily be able to tolerate its look & pace. Being a child of the 80s, I obviously have no issue with something that hasn’t aged that well. I’ve only JUST noticed when looking this movie up at IMDb for this review that a new version starring Anjelica Huston has been made! It has a US release date of tomorrow (21st of October 2017) & looks like it’s a TV movie. How can I see this in the UK?! I wanna watch it with my kid. But she doesn’t like scary stuff AT ALL. She doesn’t take after her mommy!

I enjoyed the supernatural story in this, even though it was a little cheesy at the end. But, hey – it’s for kids! Well, maybe more for teenagers at the time but nowadays it would be fine for pre-teens. As I said, I’d have loved this as a kid so I can’t really criticize it as I think it’s perfectly fine for its target audience at the time it was made. Bette Davis, as the lonely & mysterious lady who owns the English countryside house that an American family moves into, is the one big name in this and helps to give the film some credibility. There’s a mystery surrounding her daughter, who disappeared 30 years earlier. The two girls who’ve just moved into the house, a teenager & her young sister, try to solve the mystery.

For those of you who didn’t grow up on 70s & 80s movies, you may not be a used to the, um, acting style of kids & teenagers back then. They weren’t like Jacob Tremblay in Room (I love that movie). The acting from the two daughters in this, especially the teenager, is dodgy as hell. I’m not saying that’s their fault, though, as this was common in a lot of movies at the time. I think writers & directors just seriously didn’t know how to make young characters feel genuine back then. Come to think of it, Steven Spielberg probably deserves some credit for paving the way for believable kids in movies thanks to E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. The teenager in this, Lynn-Holly Johnson, was in a figure skating romance movie called Ice Castles (1978) with Robby Benson. Oh, I wanna see that! Looks like my type of thing. And the younger sister, Kyle Richards, was in Halloween but I mostly remember her as Alicia on Little House On The Prairie (that show rules and is another love of mine that I’ve been unable to get my kid to show any interest in). 😉

If you watch this movie bearing in mind the time it was made, you might get some enjoyment out of the story. I did, but I love a fun supernatural mystery. There’s also some good imagery that I’m sure stuck with kids who saw this at the time. This will be one of those movies that people my age would say “that movie scared the crap out of me as a kid!” and then, if they rewatched it now, they’d realize how tame it is. I liked it. I think Disney should’ve made more movies in this genre! But, having a horror movie with the “Disney” name attached to it, I can also see why that didn’t end up working.

My Rating: 6.5/10

**Oh! I found the trailer for the 2017 movie! It’s a Lifetime movie. Bwahaha! I remember those from the days I lived in America! Not gonna lie – I loved some Lifetime movies. 😉 And it’s been directed by Melissa Joan Hart?! Whaaat? Clarissa? Sabrina? She’s a director? When did that happen? I’m so old. I seriously want to see this (it looks scarier than the 1980 film):

And the 1980 trailer for comparison:

The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King (Book Review)

The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King

What It’s About: (via Wikipedia)
The story centers upon Roland Deschain, the last gunslinger, who has been chasing after his adversary, “the man in black”, for many years. The novel fuses Western fiction with fantasy, science fiction and horror, following Roland’s trek through a vast desert and beyond in search of the man in black. Roland meets several people along his journey, including a boy named Jake Chambers who travels with him part of the way.

My Thoughts:

Another quickie book review! I figured I better “review” The Gunslinger since The Dark Tower movie is out now in the US (and out August 18th in the UK). Not many positive reviews so far, though! Damn.

Stephen King is easily my favorite author. I’ve read almost all of his books other than The Dark Tower series, which never really appealed to me for some reason. I got into King in my early teens (maaaaaaany years ago now) and I did read The Gunslinger early on but didn’t remember a thing about it other than that I didn’t really enjoy it at the time. Therefore, I guess that’s why I never continued. I hate re-reading books. Don’t know why. But I obviously had to re-read this one before I could continue with the series & the movie coming out has finally forced me to read it again.

I lie – I do remember one thing from reading it many years ago. Desert! Lots of desert. I remember the book dragging in the first half (in the desert). Reading the book again now, I wonder if I didn’t actually finish it as I remembered nothing at all from the second half of the book, which I found much more enjoyable. The story really picked up once Roland met up with Jake (toward the end of the long desert journey). I mean, I love King but a guy walking alone through a desert gets a bit boring after a while. Maybe I just don’t like stories set in the desert? Nah, that can’t be – I love post-apocalyptic desert landscapes (like in Mad Max: Fury Road or the book Wool). And I don’t mind long journeys (like in The End Of The World Running Club or King’s own The Long Walk or, you know, The Lord Of The F*^king Rings…). So. I dunno. Wow, I suck at reviews lately.

I think the main problem may have been that I didn’t really buy into the character of Roland Deschain. I didn’t like him (not that you’re meant to). He’s so stoic. Having to walk through the desert with that guy would be a total drag. I made him super hot in my head, though, so that helped. Oh! I did like the flashbacks to when he was young & being trained to one day fight to declare his manhood. The flashbacks & the time spent with Jake were the best bits (for me) and made up for the bits that dragged on a bit too long (like the time spent in Tull, although I liked his relationship with the woman while there). The “man in black” was a disappointment but I’m assuming we get a lot more of that story in the remaining books…

Well, I did like this book more than it probably sounds from this so-called review. I’m probably rating it half a point more than I otherwise would since a) it’s Stephen King & b) I can see a lot of potential for the remaining books. I’m assuming this first book barely even scratches the surface of this story. You really learn nothing whatsoever about Roland & the “man in black” and I found it entertaining enough to want to continue & learn more, especially about Roland’s past. I’ll read the rest. Eventually…

My Rating: 3.5/5

Books I’ve Read So Far In 2017 (ranked from least favorite to favorite…)

– Tape by Steven Camden
– The Sisters by Claire Douglas
– We Were Liars by E. Lockhart
– If I Stay by Gayle Forman
The Circle by Dave Eggers
– The Snowman by Jo Nesbo
– The Chrysalids by John Wyndham
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
Finders Keepers by Stephen King
The Dinner by Herman Koch
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
– The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King
– Blaze by Stephen King
– A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty
Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
– Murder On The Orient Express by Agatha Christie
– Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer
– All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
– The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Currently Reading: End Of Watch by Stephen King (book 3 of the Mr. Mercedes trilogy)

Oh, and it looks like the Mr. Mercedes TV series is starting today on the Audience (?!) network in the US. So I don’t know how I’ll see that in the UK but I’d like to as I enjoyed the book (more than The Gunslinger). Here’s the trailer for the show, starring Brendan Gleeson, Harry Treadaway, Mary-Louise Parker, Kelly Lynch & Ann Cusack:

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (Book Review)

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

What It’s About: (via Wikipedia)
The Handmaid’s Tale is a 1985 dystopian novel by Canadian author Margaret Atwood. Set in a near-future New England, in a totalitarian, Christian theonomy that has overthrown the United States government, the novel explores themes of women in subjugation and the various means by which they gain individualism and independence. The novel’s title echoes the component parts of Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, which comprises a series of connected stories (“The Merchant’s Tale”, “The Parson’s Tale”, etc.).

My Thoughts:

I liked this book but didn’t love this book. I’ll be honest and say I knew nothing about it until the TV series started and, when hearing that the novel was “feminist dystopian apocalyptic sci-fi”, I was all “WHAT? That’s so my type of thing!!”. It’s a very good book. I can see why it’s a modern classic but I can’t say it’s one I’ll ever call a favorite of mine.

This is a novel that’s worthy of thorough analysis & discussion. You’re SO not gonna get that on my silly little movie blog! 😉 I’m happy to discuss it with any of you in the comments if you want but I think there are far better places online to find good write-ups of it. I would imagine that The Handmaid’s Tale is now studied in high schools (or perhaps colleges – Americans can be extremely uptight, so the sexual content would probably keep it out of high schools). Or… Is it? It should be studied & discussed, especially as it’s worryingly feeling more & more like a future that’s entirely possible in our lifetimes. I do remember when the TV series started & some people online were all “This show is obviously  anti-Trump!”. Ha! Hilarious. This show based on the book from 1985. Do these people not realize that seeing so many similarities between this book’s “fictional” dystopian future & modern day politics is scary as f*%k?!?!

I think it’s unfortunate, in a way, that this book has been labelled “feminist” as this term bizarrely has negative connotations to some people and would probably keep them from reading it. It’s a very well-written & important piece of work that deserves recognition alongside old literary classics (although I suppose that 1985 is now “old” – it just seems like yesterday to me since I’m so damn old myself). At what point is a modern classic no longer a modern classic? Okay – I’m old & depressed now. Where were we?

Oh yeah – Feminist dystopia. Don’t let labels keep you from reading this book if it interests you. Even Margaret Atwood doesn’t approve of this being labelled sci-fi & prefers to call it “speculative fiction” (I read that HERE at Wikipedia, where there’s an interesting bit about the book’s genre classification). Sci-fi does bring futuristic technology to mind whereas this book, although set in the future, feels like it’s set hundreds of years ago due to society’s regression. Once again, it’s scary as hell as it’s starting to feel like we may be headed in that direction.

As for this book’s overall “readability” (as in, is it at all enjoyable as opposed to just worthy), I’d say it has a tiny bit of that “They’ve forced me to read this book in school” thing going on. I don’t really mean that as an insult & I personally found the story itself entirely engrossing. The story kept me very interested and turning the pages but, unfortunately, I didn’t really care that much about the characters. Also, I’m not one of these annoying people who require an explanation for EVERYTHING but you really don’t find much out in this book. Whatever happened to cause this apocalyptic(?) future is never fully explained and things from the past are only hinted at through the vague thoughts of Offred, our main character. I felt like we didn’t really get to know her, which made it hard to connect with her. Although I know that’s kind of the point as any kind of emotion must be hidden & she’s living her life in constant fear. Atwood also has an odd sort of writing style, which I think further made it slightly difficult to fully connect with the book. Fantastic concept & great story but a book I can’t say I loved since I didn’t have much of a connection with the characters.

As for the current TV series, I did watch the first episode after finishing the book. Rubbish. I won’t be continuing. Sorry to anyone who’s a fan of the show but, if you’ve not read the book, I definitely recommend it over what I’ve seen of the show. Long, drawn out scenes for zero reason other than to appear “deep & brooding”.  Added violence that was not in the book (what was done to Janine didn’t happen in the book). And the episode ends with, I think, a final line that is, very importantly, never said in the book. Why?!?! After that, I knew I couldn’t continue. They’re clearly going to change too much & piss me off. And now, hearing there’s a SECOND season?!? Piss off. Don’t milk it. End it where it’s meant to end. Pffft. Adaptations annoy the hell out of me sometimes. Skip the show & go straight to the book with this one.

My Rating: 3.5/5

Books I’ve Read So Far In 2017 (ranked from least favorite to favorite…)

– Tape by Steven Camden
– The Sisters by Claire Douglas
– We Were Liars by E. Lockhart
– If I Stay by Gayle Forman
The Circle by Dave Eggers
– The Snowman by Jo Nesbo
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
Finders Keepers by Stephen King
The Dinner by Herman Koch
– The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
– The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King
– Blaze by Stephen King
– A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty
Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
– Murder On The Orient Express by Agatha Christie
– Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer
– All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
– The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Now currently reading: The Chrysalids by John Wyndham

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (Book Review)

Big Little Lies is a seven-episode series starring Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman & Shailene Woodley. It’s airing on HBO in America this Sunday (19th of February) and looks like it will air on Sky Atlantic in the UK sometime in March.

Based on the novel of the same name by Liane Moriarty, the show was created by David E Kelley & directed by Jean-Marc Vallée (director of films such as Wild & Dallas Buyers Club). Having just read the book, I figured it was time I do a quick book review for anyone who may be interested in either the novel or the TV show…

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

What It’s About: (via Amazon)
Perfect family, perfect house, perfect life; Jane, Madeline and Celeste have it all . . . or do they? They are about to find out just how easy it is for one little lie to spiral out of control.

My Thoughts:

I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed this book as it’s certainly not my usual sort of genre (give me Stephen King, fantasy, dystopian, or post-apocalyptic!). Is it chick lit? I hate that term – It’s so condescending. And I hate the so-called chick lit genre as it tends to be the “silly” books that are given this label. I suppose it’s certainly aimed at female readers, though.

I haven’t read reviews at all but I would assume the main comparison being used to describe this book’s story & overall feel is Desperate Housewives, which would be extremely accurate. I have a confession: I’m not a girly girl & watch very few girly things but I watched all of Desperate Housewives (despite its AWFUL title, which almost made me not watch it in the first place). But then the opening DH scene started with a tragic death and a woman who then happily realized that it meant she wouldn’t have to return (some kitchen appliance she’d borrowed – can’t remember) to the now-dead woman. And I was hooked! Well-written dark humor with rich characters is something I can get behind. Who cares what label you give it? I don’t think Big Little Lies is quite as good as that first season of Desperate Housewives (as with all shows, DH went badly downhill in later years) and it doesn’t have as much of that darkly humorous streak but it’s a fun satire on parents, particularly mothers, and the crazy world of school politics.

Big Little Lies starts with a tragic & unexplained death on the night of the adult-only trivia fundraiser taking place at the novel’s school. Our three main characters, Jane, Madeline & Celeste, each have five-year-olds attending their first year of school. This is a fairly long book that I found a very quick read thanks to the way it was broken up into so many chapters & the way most chapters ended with statements from witnesses who were there on the trivia night. After the opening chapter in which someone has died, the novel then goes back to the beginning of the school year to introduce us to all our main potential victims and murderers. I loved not even knowing who ends up the victim, which kept me reading as I was anxious to find out. The witness statements at the end of the chapters give us little clues along the way as to what may have happened.

Big Little Lies isn’t exactly some piece of “worthy literature” but it was a light & entertaining read and should make for an enjoyable TV series. I’d actually like to see them up the dark humor for the show if they can. The book sounds more shallow than it actually is – It tackles some heavy issues, especially at the end, but it could’ve done with sticking more to its sassy satire we mainly glimpse in the witness statements and through the character of Madeline. Speaking of Madeline, the casting of Reese Witherspoon for this role is absolute perfection – I can totally see her as this outwardly superficial character with the deep down heart of gold. I can also see Woodley & Kidman as Jane & Celeste now even though Celeste won’t be how I pictured looks-wise but Kidman definitely has the right sort of personality & manner to suit the role well. With a lot of big names involved, including Jean-Marc Vallée as the director, I think the show is in good hands & I’m looking forward to seeing how they adapt the book.

My Rating: 3.5/5

Here’s the UK trailer for the TV show. I think they’ve upped the drama! Hope the show doesn’t take itself too seriously…

Sesame Street To Again Be Shown In The UK!

YES!!! Starting today, Cartoonito will be airing Sesame Street in the UK. This is a big deal to me! I grew up on this show & the characters will always be very dear to me. And I met Gordon when I was 4 or 5 (I have a picture of the two of us – it’s awesome).

It’s always felt weird no longer having some American staples like Sesame Street & Saturday Night Live on TV. Even though I didn’t always watch them, I’ve missed them no longer being around since moving to the UK. Oh, and The Young And The Restless. But don’t tell anyone that I used to watch a soap… (What’s up with Victor & the Abbott gang these days?)

Read more about Sesame Street’s comeback here: Sky News. Unfortunately, it sounds like Sesame Street has undergone a lot of changes. I know they got rid of some of the longstanding human cast members a few years ago, which is a horrible shame. I’ll still be checking it out, though. It’ll never be as good as it was in the classic, pre-Elmo days but it’s a show I’ll always support.

Pharrell Williams and Gwen Stefani will be guest starring in today’s comeback episode so that’s a promising start, at least. Too bad my daughter is now too old for the show but, with such big name guest stars (she’s a fan of both Williams & Stefani), I have a feeling she might not leave the room when I start watching it. 😉

Let’s end this with the classic Alligator King clip…

Stranger Things & Peanuts Mashup: A Stranger Things Christmas 

I didn’t really want to take a break from my October horror-only posts but….. It’s PEANUTS! I love Snoopy & Charlie Brown and I can’t NOT post a Peanuts thing. Then, of course, we have the TV sensation Stranger Things that everyone seems to have gone absolutely nuts for. Understandably, as that show was a lot of fun. And, hey – Stranger Things is a horror so I’m still sticking with my horror theme anyway.

So, I’m sure everyone saw this while I decided if I should post it or not but I’d be crazy to ignore it as this mashup is absolutely brilliant! It was created by Leigh Lahav and Oren Mendez and mixes A Charlie Brown Christmas with Stranger Things. Perfection. You can read a bit about it here: Rolling Stone.com

And here’s the clip. SPOILER WARNING: It continues where Strangers Things left off so you need to have seen all episodes before watching it. I love this so much. Every once in a while, the Internet doesn’t suck… 🙂

My Top Ten Creepy Dolls In Movies & Television 

Well, you knew this would be my top ten list for Creepy Dolls Week. I hate dolls, puppets, marionettes, ventriloquist’s dummies, and mannequins (unless there’s some Starship on the movie’s soundtrack). Evil f*^kers! All of them!!!

It was hard to decide on the order for this top ten. I’ve kind of done a combination of how much I liked the movie crossed with how creepy the dolls are. Well, don’t take the order too seriously but I’ve ranked each doll’s creepiness factor.

So here are My Top Ten Movie & TV Creepy Dolls:

10. TIE: The Twilight Zone: Episode – Living Doll (1963) & The Boy (2016)
The Doll: Talky Tina (The Twilight Zone) & Brahms (The Boy)
Doll’s Creepy Rating: Tina: 6/10, Brahms: 7/10

– I adore The Twilight Zone & this episode, starring Telly Savalas as a mean step-father, is a great one. The doll isn’t that scary but it’s a fun story. The Boy, starring The Walking Dead’s Lauren Cohan, has a story with a retro 80’s feel & I really enjoyed it even though it’s predictable. Loved the design of the porcelain doll with the “sweet” face. Not all dolls have to be ugly to be creepy.

9. Trilogy of Terror (1975): Part 3 – Amelia
The Doll: A Zuni fetish doll
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 6.5/10

– It’s been a long time since I saw this horror classic starring Karen Black but I certainly remember the “Amelia” segment, unlike the others in the trilogy. The doll was kind of more funny than scary but it’s a must-see of the killer doll subgenre.

8. The Conjuring (2013) & Annabelle (2014)
The Doll: Annabelle, in real life a Raggedy Ann doll
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 7.5/10

I was quite harsh on Annabelle in yesterday’s review. The movie isn’t very good but the doll itself is effectively creepy while the real life story, as shown in The Conjuring, is far more scary than the made-up story in Annabelle.

7. Pin (1988)
The Doll: Pin (short for Pinocchio) – a doctor’s medical dummy
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 8.5/10

I caught this bizarre movie on TV late one night when I was maybe about 18 or so & that creepy medical dummy has stayed on my mind ever since. Ugh! Look at it!!! From what I remember, this was actually a pretty good psychological thriller (despite some, er, Flowers In The Attic-y incestuous brother/sister stuff).

6. Dolls (1987)
The Doll(s): Various – there’s a creepy old mansion filled with loads of them
Dolls’ Creepy Rating: 7.5/10

This cheesy 80’s horror is loads of fun (and very tame for a Stuart Gordon film). And the chick from the A-ha Take On Me comic book video is in it!

5. Magic (1978)
The Doll: Fats – a ventriloquist’s dummy controlled by Anthony Hopkins
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 8/10

I reviewed this William Goldman written/Richard Attenborough directed film on Monday as one of my Blind Spot choices & recommend it for the great performances from Anthony Hopkins & Burgess Meredith. Good psychological character study also starring Ann-Margret.

4. Dead Of Night (1945)
The Doll: Hugo – a ventriloquist’s dummy controlled by Michael Redgrave
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 8/10

This British horror anthology classic is most memorable for the segment involving Michael Redgrave’s ventriloquist & his dummy, which he believes is alive. Fantastic film that was ahead of its time.

3. Child’s Play (1988)
The Doll: Chucky (aka Charles Lee Ray)
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 7/10

I always had a soft spot for the Child’s Play films (well, the first three – I’ve not watched any further). They’re bad. They’re cheesy. They’re SO Eighties (even though the second two were early Nineties. Never mind). They’re from my teen years, though, and we all like what we grew up on. I was in America & knew nothing of the banning in the U.K. & the reason why. I’ve not watched them since but I can’t leave Chucky off a “creepy dolls” list.

2. Poltergeist (1982)
The Doll: A toy clown
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 8/10

Who doesn’t hate a creepy clown? It’s a well-known phobia, which is why there’s a current “crazy clown” phase going on in the U.S. & U.K. Poltergeist is easily the best film on this list & its clown, although only a small part of the film, has haunted us 80’s kids forever.

1. The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: Episode – Where The Woodbine Twineth (1965)
The Doll: Numa
Doll’s Creepy Rating: 4/10
The Episode’s Creepy Rating: 10/10

This had to be my number one as it’s the one thing responsible for my fear (or, more like a deep distrust now in my old age) of dolls. As you can see, the doll itself in this story wasn’t creepy. Well, there’s a slight creep factor as ALL dolls look like they have murder on their minds but the doll in this was actually very cute and, slight spoiler… Friendly. She’s the best friend of the little girl in the story & the ending of this story scarred me for life. Seriously. The entire episode used to be on YouTube but, at the moment, I can only find a clip of the ending (watch it HERE if you’re curious but I obviously recommend seeing the entire episode if you can). I also found the whole short story, by Davis Grubb, online HERE if you’d like to read it (just remember that it was written in a very different time period). It’s funny – I can barely remember things I watched a year ago but the ending of Where The Woodbine Twineth, which I must have seen at the age of eight or so, is forever burned into my brain. I watched that clip just now, which I last saw probably 30 years ago, and I remembered it like I’d seen it yesterday. That’s the power of good storytelling.

Honorable Mentions:
– The Saw film series (first one 2004) (Doll: Billy The Puppet)
– Dead Silence (2007) (Doll: Billy, a ventriloquist’s dummy)
– The Fear (1995) (Doll: Morty, a wooden mannequin)
Goosebumps (2015) (Doll: Slappy, a ventriloquist’s dummy)
Finders Keepers (2014) (Doll: A possessed doll that may have had a name but I can’t remember & don’t want to watch the movie again because it’s BAD)

A Few Movies I’ve Not seen:
– Puppetmaster (1989) & its sequels
– Demonic Toys (1992)
– Two truly bizarre looking films I’d never heard of until I started looking up creepy doll movies and now I really want to see them! Tourist Trap (1979) & The Pit (1981). Anyone seen these??

Stranger Things Poster Art By Kyle Lambert

Okay – who else is watching Stranger Things on Netflix?? I’m exactly halfway through watching all 8 episodes & I’m really enjoying it. No spoilers, please! 🙂

There are very few TV shows I watch anymore other than Game Of Thrones & The Walking Dead (which is starting to piss me off). I’ve tried a few new shows here & there but always lose interest. I may be the only person who couldn’t finish Making A Murderer (why the hype?).

Well, I’ve finally found two shows that I like! It’s not surprising that both happen to be set in my favorite decade (the 1980s). I adore Freaks And Geeks, which I’m only just watching for the first time now (it’s on Amazon Prime in the UK, FYI). How did I never see this show before? Like Stranger Things, I’m also about halfway through watching all of the episodes. Why the hell did Freaks And Geeks last only one season, dammit? Now I see why fans were so mad about that.

I started watching Stranger Things when I heard it described as “Stephen King crossed with 1980’s Steven Spielberg sci-fi”. That couldn’t sound more ME! Plus Winona Ryder is in it. Yes! Edward Scissorhands & Heathers Winona Ryder!!! Add the early 80s setting & great soundtrack and I’m extremely happy. 🙂 At the moment, I’d say I prefer Freaks And Geeks overall. I think it’ll depend on how Stranger Things ends. Supernatural horror can go very wrong at the end sometimes. But both are great & I highly recommend them if you love the era.

Anyway, I thought I’d share a link to some great Stranger Things poster art by artist Kyle Lambert. I love the deliberate Drew Struzan style. Struzan is a favorite movie poster artist of mine (I did a top ten of my favorite Struzan posters HERE). You can see Lambert’s Stranger Things poster art at this link: Huffpost.com.

Scott Ian Turns Into A White Walker While George R.R. Martin Talks To Stephen King

George R.R. Martin interviewed Stephen King at an event last Thursday night?! Wow! How did I miss the news of these two legends being in the same room together? And I love Martin’s question to King: “How the f*%k do you write so fast?” HA! You can read more about this event & some of their conversation here: thisisinsider.com. Wish I’d been there!

FYI – I’m aware that last night was the penultimate episode of Game Of Thrones, meaning someone big most likely died a horrible death. I’m in the UK and didn’t feel like staying up until 3am to watch it so SHUT YOUR YAP until I’ve watched it tonight!!! 😉

Any regulars here probably know by now that I’m a HUGE fan of Stephen King but, as for Martin’s books, I shamefully have yet to read them even though I got A Game Of Thrones for Christmas 2014. I know, I know… Hey, he’s apparently such a slow writer that I should easily catch up before he finishes the next book, right?? At least I’ve finally read ONE of his books (Tuf Voyaging – I loved it! Review HERE).

And to keep with a Game Of Thrones theme for this post, I thought I’d share a link where you can watch Scott Ian of Anthrax get a White Walker makeover. Scott Ian of Anthrax!!!! Don’t you dare say “Who?” my young bloggers – Scott Ian rules. I was such a huge Anthrax fan in my teen years and I absolutely loved that they so often included pop culture references in their songs (such as Judge Dredd, Blue Velvet, and my beloved Stephen King’s books). Geeky metalheads! Is there anything cooler?

Anyway – it’s a great video to check out whether you’re a Scott Ian fan or just a Game Of Thrones fan. Ian has a video series called Bloodworks where he goes behind the scenes to talk to make-up and effects artists & he talks to Barrie Gower, prosthetic makeup designer for Game Of Thrones, for this episode. Check out the article & video here: io9.

Star Wars Vegetables & A New Eurotrash Special!

Okitsugu Kado is the sushi chef behind these fantastic Star Wars vegetable creations. The above jawas are my favorite but you can see loads more photos of the chef’s culinary art here: Kotaku.com

And I’ve just read that there’s going to be a one-off Eurotrash special airing tonight on Channel 4 at 9pm! I am SO watching that. Reruns of this bizarre show were among the very first things I watched on British TV after moving to the UK. Seriously – It made me wonder what the hell I’d gotten myself into by moving here…

Read all about this one-off Brexit special of Eurotrash here: Guardian.com. I’m looking forward to seeing the man who apparently paints portraits with his penis. 

My Top Ten Coppola Movies

Happy Birthday to Francis Ford Coppola, who turns 77 today.

This is a part of my Coppola Week. I’ve been reviewing movies directed by Francis Ford Coppola & his daughter Sofia (ones that I’ve seen for the first time this past year). So far, I’ve reviewed The Bling Ring, The Outsiders & Marie Antoinette.

I was going to make this a Top Ten including all of the members of the Coppola family who are in the movie industry but, after looking into how many that would involve, I decided it would be a pain in the ass! Besides, I’ve already done My Top Ten Nicolas Cage Movies HERE. I’ve also never seen the Rocky movies, so there’s no point including Talia Shire. And Jason Schwartzman is mainly in those Wes Anderson movies I can’t stand so screw that. And then there are loads of other family members who do lots of behind-the-scenes stuff such as cinematography so, after researching the Coppola family more than my own ancestry, I decided to make this a list including only Francis Ford & Sofia.

So here are My Top Ten Movies Directed By Francis Ford or Sofia Coppola, counting down to my favorite:

**Updated April 2018 to add The Beguiled remake**

(I’ve seen a total of fourteen so here are 14-11):


14. Jack
13. Somewhere
12. Peggy Sue Got Married
11. The Beguiled (2017)

10. Dracula

9. The Bling Ring

8. Marie Antoinette

7. Apocalypse Now

6. The Conversation

5. The Virgin Suicides

4. The Outsiders

3. Lost In Translation

2. The Godfather: Part II

1. The Godfather

FYI: If they’re not listed, I’ve not seen them. No, I never even bothered to watch The Godfather: Part III. The one I really need to see is Rumble Fish now that I’ve finally watched The Outsiders…! 

I’ll finish Coppola Week tomorrow with a review of The Conversation.

**I recently participated in Ruth from FlixChatter’s Five For The Fifth, in which she asks fellow bloggers five movie or TV-related questions. The fifth question is from a guest blogger & I was this month’s guest with the question “Which character would you most like to see killed off in a current TV show?“. I chose this question knowing I’d be seeing The Walking Dead season finale the next day & now I’d really love to bitch about that ending with fellow bloggers!! Grrr. Have a look at Ruth’s Five For The Fifth post HERE. Thanks again, Ruth! 🙂