My Top Ten Tearjerker Movies

I haven’t done a top ten list in ages so I thought this would be a good topic. I’m not a girly girl & don’t get all teary eyed at the usual sort of contrived chick flicks (piss off Beaches!). For the most part I’m going to leave out true stories (except for my number one) because it would be insane to not have something like Schindler’s List at the top. So bear that in mind before asking why certain movies based on horrific real life events aren’t on here. I’m also almost more of a sucker for happy endings than sad ones so you won’t only find sad ones here.

So here are my Top Ten Tearjerker Movies counting down from ten: 😦

10. American History X

9. Brokeback Mountain

8. Toy Story 3

7. The Bucket List

6. The Shawshank Redemption

5. Stand By Me

4. City Lights

3. Cinema Paradiso

2. Up

1. Mask

Honorable Mentions:

Bambi
The Lion King
The Green Mile
Always
Midnight Cowboy
The Lives Of Others
Legends Of The Fall
The Elephant Man
Untamed Heart
It’s A Wonderful Life
The Secret In Their Eyes
Untouchable

Chris Hemsworth’s Butt In Rush

As Rush was such an excellent film, I didn’t feel right mentioning in my review just how hot Chris Hemsworth was in it. So here you go – Enjoy this shot of Hemsworth’s naked bum as seen in Rush. 🙂

My Review Of The Hottie & The Nottie At The IPC

Thanks to Eric at The IPC for letting me participate in Shitfest 2013: Fall. I think. I mean, I watched The Hottie & The Nottie… It wasn’t easy! Review HERE.

Seriously – check out his site if you haven’t already. His movie reviews are hilarious and always a fun read. 🙂

Rush (2013) Review

Rush (2013)

Directed by Ron Howard

Screenplay: Peter Morgan

Starring:
Chris Hemsworth
Daniel Brühl
Olivia Wilde
Alexandra Maria Lara
Pierfrancesco Favino

Music: Hans Zimmer

Running time: 122 minutes

Plot Synopsis (via Wikipedia – I think everyone knows this):

Rush is a biographical action film directed by Ron Howard and written by Peter Morgan about the 1976 Formula One season and the rivalry between drivers James Hunt and Niki Lauda.

Before I Start The Review:

I’ll start by saying I hate sports. All sports. Racing? Don’t care. James Hunt & Niki Lauda? I’d never even heard of them before this film and knew nothing of this famous rivalry. So do you think I actually liked this film? Oh my god – I absolutely loved it.

And now I have to say this – 2013 has been a disappointing year for movies. We’ve either had movies that were lots of fun but had terrible scripts & cliche characters (Pacific Rim) or we’ve had inferior superhero films (Iron Man 3) with over the top action sucking the soul out of something that had the opportunity to be a fresh new start (Man Of Steel). We’ve had a magic film (Now You See Me) already done way better in past films (like The Prestige) and a sci-fi film (Oblivion) already done way better in past films (like the myriad of sci-fi classics Oblivion wanted to be). And never mind all the sequels, remakes, and usual lack of any original ideas from Hollywood. And then there was Oz The Great And Powerful – don’t get me started on that…

So that leaves us with “based on a true story” films. Usually a safe bet but quite often lacking in “fun”. Being a movie lover, I hate feeling like I’ve been really negative about films lately (like I was in all the reviews listed above). So it’s with great pleasure that I can FINALLY say this: Rush was the most rewarding cinema-going experience I’ve had in a very long time and you’re now going to read absolutely nothing negative. 🙂

My Opinion On Rush:

Obviously I can’t speak of the true story (although I’m certainly interested in knowing more now!) so I’ll only be discussing Rush as a film.

This story, although in many ways quite a simple story about a sports rivalry, is absolutely fascinating. No wonder they based a film on it and how on earth had I never heard a thing about it? (That “I hate all sports” thing, I guess). Clearly by my excitement you can see you don’t need to be a racing fan to enjoy this film – you just need to be human and have at least a little bit of a heart (mine is pretty tiny). If you ARE a racing fan, though, you still won’t be the slightest bit disappointed. Howard gets the perfect balance, I think, between emotional human drama & edge-of-your-seat racing action. In a way I wonder if it was slightly more exciting for someone like me who had no clue how any of the races would end. I’m actually very glad I didn’t read up on any of the true story before the film as it probably made watching it much more intense.

As for James Hunt and Niki Lauda, at least how they’re portrayed here, what a couple of great characters! As this took place in the 70s and (thankfully) way before the days of Twitter & celebrities airing all their dirty laundry in public and getting on our nerves, I don’t know how much of this rivalry was played out in public & how much was just written about? I don’t know just how intense it got in real life but it was a hell of a lot of fun to watch in this film. I loved how they were so different yet SO similar, especially in their arrogance. I like how this movie made them human and made us truly care about them despite some very big character flaws in both of them. I think one of the biggest things I’ve always hated about sports is the arrogance that you get from some of the sportsmen (and women? Don’t want to sound sexist!). That this movie had me loving two guys like this by the end of the film was quite a feat. Honestly – you have no idea how “unlike me” it is to like guys like these & to enjoy anything related to sports.

Chris Hemsworth as James Hunt: Cocky, sexy, ladies man, bad boy all the girls want and all the men want to be, lives life to the fullest and doesn’t care about consequences. He was brilliant. Perfect. I couldn’t take my eyes off him and for once it was based on his performance alone.

Daniel Brühl as Niki Lauda: Cold, arrogant, intense, has no friends, personal lifestyle the exact opposite of ladies man Hunt. Also brilliant. Perfect. Possibly even MORE brilliant and perfect. And by the end I guarantee you’ll love him. And you’ll love Hunt. Even though they’re still the same people they are at the start.

Summary:

Heart-pounding human drama that captures all the excitement and fear that are a part of racing & the risk of death those drivers face every time they get into those cars for another race. And what surely must be one of the most fascinating and intense rivalries in the history of sport between two men so different yet so alike that they can’t stand each other? THIS is the stuff of great movies. I fell in love with these men by the end of this film and now want to know more and, hell, may even start watching racing. I can’t emphasize this enough: making ME like these men and admit to MAYBE now watching a sport? Honestly, you don’t know me so you have no idea what that means. This film is THAT good. And I’m going to steal my hubby’s line after the film: “But which one of these guys was truly LIVING life?”. The film seems to ask this & everyone will have a different opinion on that just as the two main characters in the film clearly do. But should a sports movie really be making us question things so deeply? Bravo, Ron Howard! Your movie moved this hater of sports.

My Rating: 9/10

And, yes – My list of 2013 Movies Seen has a new first place. As you might suspect. I’d use a racing term here if I knew any.

(Where are you Tim The Film Guy? For once you can’t say my rating is too low…) 🙂

Mondo Does Disney’s The Little Mermaid

To commemorate The Little Mermaid showing in some cinemas in 3D and the upcoming Blu-ray release, Mondo is releasing this poster by Tom Whalen. This poster is great! Have to say it’s better than the actual film, which isn’t all that high on my list of My Top Disney Princess Movies.

Link to Mondo poster info here: SlashFilm

This blog is too family friendly lately. I really need to find a picture of Chris Hemsworth’s naked Rush bum…

Justin And The Knights Of Valour (2013) Review

Justin And The Knights Of Valour (2013)

Directed by Manuel Sicilia

Starring Voice Actors:
Freddie Highmore
Antonio Banderas
James Cosmo
Charles Dance
Tamsin Egerton
Rupert Everett
Barry Humphries
Alfred Molina
Mark Strong
David Walliams
Julie Walters
Olivia Williams
Saoirse Ronan

Running time: 96 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)

Justin (Freddie Highmore) lives in a kingdom where bureaucrats rule and knights have been ousted. His dream is to be become one of the Knights of Valour, like his grandfather was, but his father Reginald (Alfred Molina), the chief counsel to the Queen (Olivia Williams), wants his son to follow in his footsteps and become a lawyer.

My Opinion:

I’ll make this quick & simple: This isn’t exactly a great film but, hey, it’s for kids. It’s not actually THAT bad, though, considering it wasn’t made by Pixar or Disney or even the inferior (well, what I see as inferior) Dreamworks.

I think kids will enjoy this one. I myself actually enjoyed it a bit more than this year’s Epic, which looked prettier but had a story that was somewhat too complex for the younger kids and had forgettable characters. Justin of course has lessons to teach the audience, just like most kids’ films: Work hard, stand up for what you believe in, and bitchy self-absorbed girls never get the knight in shining armor (well, it would be nice if that last bit were true in real life as well).

Oh! And you must have a knight who looks like Sean Connery if you’re going to make a movie about knights.

Boys will probably like this one more than girls (especially if they liked How To Train Your Dragon) because of all the knights and a little bit of fighting with some baddies and Justin going through training to become a knight (the training with the elder knights was by far the best bit of the film). But there’s also a good, feisty female character that girls (and their mothers) will approve of. (You don’t think she’ll actually hook up with Justin by any chance, do you?!) 😉

So, anyway – Justin And The Knights Of Valour isn’t going to change the world but it’s not the worst movie you’ll ever have to sit through with your kid. It has a solid enough story and few strong characters and the usual “teaching of values” with a bit of silly comic relief. Whatever. It’s better than I was expecting, at least.

My Rating: 5.5/10

I just wanted to get this quickie review out of the way so that I can focus on finishing my review for Rush in the next couple days. Because that film was fantastic!!! 🙂

Gorgeous art nouveau-inspired portraits of Miyazaki’s characters

Lovely! See these & more from Pixiv user marlboro here: io9

Both great films. I reviewed Laputa: Castle In The Sky a while ago. See my review HERE. 🙂

The Machinist (2004) Review

The Machinist (2004)

Directed by Brad Anderson

Starring:
Christian Bale
Jennifer Jason Leigh
John Sharian
Aitana Sánchez-Gijón
Michael Ironside

Running time: 102 minutes

Plot Synopsis:

Trevor Reznik (Christian Bale) is a machinist who hasn’t slept for a year. He seems to be losing his grip on reality as strange things start happening and he starts seeing things no one else can see. Is it due to his insomnia or is something more going on?

My Opinion:

A few people voted for The Machinist when I asked everyone which film I should review next. It was a good few months ago that I saw it but I’ll do my best to recall my thoughts on the film.

I think it’s common knowledge how far Christian Bale was willing to go for this role when he lost weight to the point of looking dangerously emaciated. That was certainly impressive – it’s amazing what some actors will do to themselves for a role. I suppose it made his character even more believable as he certainly looked like someone who hasn’t slept in a year and is slowly losing his mind. So it’s a great performance from him but, physical appearance aside, doesn’t seem much different from other performances we’ve had from him. Am I in trouble for that? I’m sorry – he’s an actor I’ve never really liked but I’m not going to try to explain myself because I have no idea why I feel that way. So let’s move on. 😉

I enjoyed the story itself. I like a good psychological thriller. I’ve always liked films where someone is (or appears to be) “losing their mind”. That’s definitely the case here. Trevor starts seeing things no one else seems to see. He talks to a new co-worker named Ivan but when he mentions Ivan to his other co-workers, no one has heard of him. He starts finding post-it notes on his refrigerator showing a threatening game of hangman which progresses throughout the movie. Plus there’s what appears to be blood seeping out of his freezer door…

His only friends are a prostitute named Stevie (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and a waitress named Maria (Aitana Sánchez-Gijón) & her young son Nicholas. His co-workers, including Miller (played by Michael Ironside), turn on him when his apparent paranoia becomes a dangerous interference at work. Michael Ironside! I love that dude – Jack Nicholson on a budget. These co-stars were all good and seemed just right for their roles, especially Jason Leigh.

Summary:

Christian Bale was very impressive in The Machinist, I thought everyone was well cast, and I had a fun time trying to figure out the mystery of whether or not Bale was actually going insane. Overall, though, the movie didn’t quite work for me. It was dark, dreary, had someone slowly losing his mind, and kept the audience guessing all the way as to what was actually going on. I like all those things so I’m not quite sure why I didn’t like it more than I did. It’s certainly worth a watch but is more of a “weekend afternoon” movie than I was expecting. In the end, I felt like I had watched a REALLY good Lifetime movie (minus Nancy McKeon). Oh, that’s harsh. Luckily, only those in the US of a certain age will know what I’m on about. And, hey – I loved those Lifetime movies. What I’m saying is that The Machinist ends up being more simple than it first appears. I was expecting something a little deeper but it was still a fun ride.

My Rating: 7/10

Yes, everyone is just as happy throughout the movie as they look in the above pictures.

This Week’s Movie Quote

Merryweather: It looks awful.
Flora: That’s because it’s on you, dear.

Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Hahaha! What a bitch.

Minimal Movie Posters: Escape From New York & This Is The End

Why are fan made posters always way cooler than the original film posters? Check out these and more from artist ChungKong here: Total Film

You know I’ve never seen Escape From New York?! Shameful! I’ll rectify this soon. I’ve seen This Is The End, though! Review HERE if you’re bothered. 🙂

Films Reframed: R-Rated Movies as Comic Books – Alternative Movie Poster Art

Love these – especially the Reservoir Dogs one. See these plus posters for Taxi Driver & The Big Lebowski here: Total Film

Mesmerizing Night Sky Photography of the Australian Outback

These are amazing! Makes me think of Van Gogh. Read the following and more and see other amazing photos by Australian photographer Lincoln Harrison here: Exposure Guide

Lincoln Harrison’s dramatic pictures called Startrails shot across the Australian evening sky were taken over periods of up to 15 hours. They are long exposure pictures taken over Lake Eppalock near Bendigo in Victoria, Australia. Combined with a creative zoom method and layering of two images together in post-production, Harrison achieves his spectacular cosmic photos.

Terrifying Pennywise the Clown Stalks the Streets of England

Whaaaaat?! Imagine seeing this standing outside your door!!! The following & more from this link: GeekTyrant

Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King’s IT is one of the most terrifying clowns ever. Now there’s a real life version of him stalking the streets of Northampton, England!

The identity of said clown has become something of an obsession on Twitter, with the hashtag #northamptonclown used to speculate on the reasons for his weird existence. The Northampton Herald initially reported that he knocked on someone’s door and offered to paint their window sills despite having no painting equipment with him, a story the clown later refuted on his Facebook page. Which he apparently runs himself.

YIKES

More Hidden Street Art on Railings by Zebrating

Love these! The following and more photos plus a video of Zebrating at work can be found at this link: My Modern Met

“Mannheim, Germany-based street art duo known as Zebrating have been leaving their mark across the globe, particularly on railings in public spaces. Their elusive graffiti work offers an entertaining surprise for viewers from specific angles. Their art relies heavily on perspective as each piece of a single image is spaced out and only cohesively visible from a fixed viewpoint, proving to be a hidden treasure for those with keen eyes.”

“Darkness” Is Holding Up Bill & Ted 3, Says Keanu Reeves

This has been going on for years – I don’t think we’re ever going to get a new Bill & Ted film. The following quote from Keanu Reeves when asked about the delay and more information at this link: SlashFilm

It’s a long story. There’s lots of subterfuge and conspiracy theories. There’s a whole thing… I might have to do one of those independent press, conspiracy, other-name kind of [statements] explaining why it hasn’t happened yet, because it’s pretty dark out there.

Also:

Reeves confirmed that “there is [a script],” but added, “There’s all sorts of stuff and it just can’t — it’s just — there’s darkness out there that’s keeping it from happening.” He later continued, “It’s not winning right now. It’s that part of the story where it’s looking grim. It’s the dark period of the idea!”

Disney costume swap by godohelp on deviantART

Sweet! Check out the Disney Princesses swapping clothes with the princes by godohelp on deviantART HERE. I think Belle looks pretty hot as the Beast. 🙂

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) Review

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

Directed by Colin Trevorrow

Starring:
Aubrey Plaza
Mark Duplass
Jake Johnson
Karan Soni
Mary Lynn Rajskub

Running time: 86 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)

Darius (Aubrey Plaza) is a disillusioned college graduate who interns at Seattle Magazine. One of the magazine’s writers, Jeff (Jake Johnson), proposes to investigate a newspaper classified ad that reads:

“Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 91 Ocean View, WA 99393. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.”

Jeff selects Darius and [intern] Arnau (Karan Soni) to assist him. They travel to the seaside community of Ocean View to find and profile the person behind the ad [Kenneth (Mark Duplass)].

My Opinion:

This film got the third highest number of votes when I asked all of you which film I should review next. Everyone was very enthusiastic about this one and I didn’t know what to do as I hadn’t really planned on reviewing it at all. Not because I thought it was bad but, sometimes, I’m just not sure what to say about a film. But I keep my promises so here goes…

I’d been wanting to see this ever since first hearing about the plot. It’s a great idea and I always love that – too many movies are so unoriginal these days. I know it was inspired by a real (joke) classified ad and think it’s great they were able to write a script around this simple idea. I really didn’t know where they’d go with the story.

I did think this was a good film and am glad I watched it but it was just missing *something* for me. Can’t quite put my finger on it. For one thing, from what I can gather, people seem to be big fans of some of the actors in this. That’s of course going to help people to enjoy a film. But I really didn’t (and still don’t) know anyone in Safety Not Guaranteed.

Aubrey Plaza was the best thing about the film for me – I can sort of see why people would already like her from other things she’s been in. I know she’s in a show called Parks And Recreation. I’m not a TV person so this show means nothing to me. Mark Duplass also means nothing to me. Not sure what he’s most famous for but know he makes movies with his brother Jay. I’ve watched one, Cyrus, which I had a hard time finishing. I think he’s certainly an acquired taste. As for his character in Safety Not Guaranteed, I couldn’t connect with him. He was a little too odd, a little too indie-movie-quirky misunderstood weird guy? I don’t know… Just didn’t quite work for me and I couldn’t help but think that Aubrey Plaza’s Darius should run away from him as he seemed the type to have bodies hidden underneath his floorboards.

As for the other characters, I ended up almost liking the story of Jeff (Jake Johnson) a bit more. His story is a little bit like that of Simon Pegg’s Gary King in The World’s End with the whole wanting to relive the past thing. Being my age I, unfortunately, am finding that I can relate to these sort of characters (way) too much. Arnau (Karan Soni) felt a little unnecessary – he seemed to mainly be there to help us understand and give more depth to the character of Jeff. I did think the two characters worked well together.

Summary:

Safety Not Guaranteed takes a brilliantly simple story idea and gives us an intelligent script with some good complex characters. It ticks all the “indie” boxes but not in that annoying and needy way that some indie films do when they’re trying too hard. It’s a film that the casual cinema goer will probably hate (and may think is seriously going to be about time travel). As with many indie movies, it’s not for everyone. It’s about the characters and, if you can’t relate to at least one of them, you’re not going to enjoy the film. I did enjoy it but do wish I’d cared more for the character of Kenneth. It’s a film I think I should give another chance and re-watch sometime in the future. Anyone have a time machine? 😉

My Rating: 7/10

My Top Ten Films Of The 21st Century at The Cinema Monster

Thanks to Joseph at The Cinema Monster for letting me do a guest top ten list on his blog! You can check out his great film blog HERE.

And you can check out my list of My Top Ten Films Of The 21st Century HERE. 🙂

R2-D2 spotted in Star Trek Into Darkness

The following & some further information can be found at this link: io9

Star Wars droid R2-D2 made a cameo in the 2009 Star Trek movie, which left some fans wondering if the little guy made it into Star Trek Into Darkness. Now that the film is out on home media, R2-D2 has been spotted.

Django Unchained (2012) Review

Django Unchained

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

Starring:
Jamie Foxx
Christoph Waltz
Leonardo DiCaprio
Kerry Washington
Samuel L. Jackson
Walton Goggins
Dennis Christopher
James Remar
Michael Parks
Don Johnson

Running time: 165 minutes

Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia)

Set in the antebellum era of the Deep South and Old West, the film follows a freed slave (Foxx) who treks across the United States with a bounty hunter (Waltz) on a mission to rescue his wife (Washington) from a cruel plantation owner (DiCaprio).

My Opinion:

Django Unchained got second place after Stoker when I asked all of you which film I should review next. Sorry it’s still taking me a bit of time to get around to these reviews.

I should maybe re-watch this one as I saw it in the cinema back in January but I remember it well anyway. I still consider it my favorite film of 2013 (UK release date). But it’s one of the only 2013 movies that I didn’t review. I have a strange relationship with Tarantino films – I think they’re brilliant but I also can’t fully watch any of them as I’m a mega wuss about violence. Figure that one out… Plus so many people love Tarantino and there will be tons of great reviews online from people who are proper writers and I don’t know what I could really add to all that. So, as usual, I’ll just discuss what I personally liked about the film.

I’ll get right to it and say that there’s ONE very specific thing that made me really go for this movie even though I literally “saw” less of this than probably any other Tarantino film as I found the violence in this one the most disturbing yet & didn’t even look at the screen for a couple entire scenes (the “Mandingo” fight for one – the sound effects alone were enough to make me feel ill). I think everyone knows what I’m going to say that one specific thing is as I think most people agree:

CHRISTOPH WALTZ

He’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I have to say I’m not one to worship actors – I just like movies. I do have some favorite actors, of course, and a few actors who will make me actually watch a film they’re in (or, more often, avoid one). But I just enjoy watching movies I think are good and for the most part don’t care who’s in them as long as the actors fit the part and they’re not really horrible at acting and they’re not Tom Cruise.

But… Oh my god I love Waltz in Tarantino films! I know that not ALL the credit can go to Waltz, though – As many people have already said, there’s just something about a Tarantino script combined with Waltz’s acting that’s just the perfect fit. I really need to watch Inglourious Basterds again – the scene with Waltz at the beginning was so intense (I barely watched that scene. Sorry – I just couldn’t! My heart was pounding like crazy).

I love the character of Dr King Schultz in Django Unchained. He’ll go down as one of the all-time best characters with one of the all-time greatest performances (in my opinion but, hey, he did win an Oscar for it). This is why poor Jamie Foxx seems so overlooked in the title role – He was fine but he just didn’t quite have that special “something” that Waltz has so his performance naturally pales in comparison.

Before I go on kissing Waltz’s ass too much, there was one other performance that I also felt was worthy of at least an Oscar nomination: Leonardo DiCaprio. Why does he keep getting overlooked? Is it because he’s a former “heartthrob”? I’m not exactly a Leo fan but I think he’s had some amazing performances in a variety of films and Django Unchained is one of them.

As for the film itself, I liked the overall story. I like revenge (Kill Bill being my favorite Tarantino film) and I like some good old-fashioned “rescue the helpless woman” sometimes as it’s set in the old West (or old South). I found the “Blazing Saddles” type of comic relief scene with the masks funny, all the stuff at Candyland was great, Don Johnson was actually not bad and, as already mentioned, DiCaprio and especially Waltz were brilliant and a joy to watch whenever they were on screen (which was quite a lot, luckily).

Tarantino’s role was a bit embarrassing, the violence was too much for me, and I’m not 100% sure if it’s okay to like Samuel L Jackson’s character or not. I love the guy (I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!) but that role was probably getting into iffy territory and I’m so not going there – there’s already been enough talk of the excessive use of the N word in this so I’ll leave that to intelligent people to dissect. I also felt that Django Unchained lost its way a bit in the last 45 minutes or so – it started to feel a little overlong and seemed to not be completely sure how to end although I found it a satisfying enough conclusion.

Summary:

Django Unchained is another great film from Tarantino with a brilliant script and excessive violence than can be a little hard to watch. But I suffer through the violence as I think Tarantino is one of today’s most talented filmmakers. I’ve never watched classic Westerns but did force myself to watch the excellent Once Upon A Time In The West for the first time a couple months ago and it’s made me appreciate Django Unchained even more and made me want to further explore the influences on the film. Django Unchained isn’t a perfect film and does lose its way toward the end but with such a mesmerizing performance from Christoph Waltz, who cares? The man is amazing.

My Rating: 8.5/10

See where Django Unchained ranks in My Top Five Films Directed By Quentin Tarantino.

My Shitty Django Unchained Haiku:

To rescue his love
Django and Schultz hunt bounty
The D is silent

My Top Movies Directed By Quentin Tarantino

**I updated this list March 2017 to add Jackie Brown & The Hateful Eight and September 2019 to add Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood.**

Here we go! Counting down to my favorite (and not including his guest director credit on Sin City, a movie I don’t really like anyway), here are all the films I’ve seen that were directed by Quentin Tarantino:

9. The Hateful Eight (I wasn’t really a fan of this one)

8. Inglourious Basterds

7. Death Proof

6. Django Unchained

5. Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood

4. Jackie Brown

3. Pulp Fiction

2. Reservoir Dogs

1. Kill Bill (both of them – I count them as one)

Inglourious Basterds was SO close to being above Death Proof, which few people will agree with. First of all, I should probably give Basterds a re-watch as I was especially wussy about violence that day and didn’t watch it closely enough except for the parts where Christoph Waltz or the lovely Melanie Laurent were on screen. It’s a much better film than Death Proof. But… Death Proof was fun and I really liked it. Zoe Bell was cool. I’m a girl and I like girls who kick ass (which is why Kill Bill is number one). So there you go!

AND I have an embarrassing confession to make: I’m a big film fan yet there’s one Tarantino-directed film that I haven’t seen. So I’ll update this list if I decide that Jackie Brown deserves a place in the Top Five. (Update – I’ve seen it now!) 😉

Now off to finally write my review for Django Unchained (Review done now!). I’ll leave you with a shitty haiku summing up how I feel about Tarantino’s crazily violent films:

Tarantino films
Are really brilliant but I
Wish I could watch them

**I need to point out that the hubby and I are having an argument over how many syllables are in the word “brilliant”. I think this is a US/UK difference. The way I say it, it’s two, dammit! Making my haiku correct…

Planes (2013) Review

Planes (2013)

Directed by Klay Hall

Story by:
John Lasseter
Klay Hall
Jeffrey M. Howard

Starring Voice Actors:
Dane Cook
Stacy Keach
Priyanka Chopra
Brad Garrett
Cedric the Entertainer
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Roger Craig Smith
John Cleese
Carlos Alazraqui

Studio:
Walt Disney Pictures
DisneyToon Studios

Running time: 92 minutes

Plot Synopsis:

Dusty Crophopper (voiced by Dane Cook) is a cropduster plane who dreams of being a racer in the upcoming Wings Across The World race. He qualifies for the race, surprising everyone. Can Dusty overcome the odds and win the race and, perhaps more importantly, the respect of his fellow racers?

My Opinion:

Planes isn’t great but it isn’t BAD. It’s certainly no Pixar film but I’d say it’s at least better than Cars 2. This wasn’t made by Pixar but is set in the same world as Cars, which will probably make a lot of people assume it’s a Pixar film due to it having the same look as Cars. I’m still not sure why they’ve chosen to do a spin-off of Pixar’s weakest set of films? I suppose it’s down to all the money that has been made from the Cars toys & merchandising.

I went in with very low expectations so I ended up enjoying it more than I assumed I would as I’m not a fan of the Cars films (although the first Cars is still a better film than Planes). Unlike the majority of Pixar films, which most adults love just as much as their children do, Planes is definitely for the kids. In this way, it feels more like the stuff we get from studios like Dreamworks – I see those as decent enough kids’ films but would never consider any of them to be actual all-time favorite films of MINE, like I do with things like WALL-E & Toy Story.

Planes has the usual kind of feel good story with a moral that you always get from a Disney film (believe in yourself, be kind to others, yada yada). It’s simple & predictable but your kids will be kept entertained. They’ll root for Dusty and his two likeable friends that stick by him as he tries to compete in the famous race.

The friends are a forklift/mechanic named Dottie (voiced by Teri Hatcher) and a fuel truck named Chug (voiced by Brad Garrett). And an old war plane named Skipper Riley (voiced by Stacy Keach) helps Dusty to train for the race (think “Gill” in Finding Nemo as it’s pretty much the exact same character but a plane instead of a fish). Then there’s a bit of a love interest and some double crossing from a nasty race rival – You know, all the usual stuff in a kids’ film… There’s nothing exactly groundbreaking here! Which isn’t what kids want from a movie anyway. I think us adults have just been spoiled by some excellent animated films in recent years so it’s hard to not expect a little more from them. But they can’t all be Monsters Inc, I guess.

Summary:

Predictable feel good Disney film that will keep your kids entertained. This one really is for the kids, though, so don’t expect Pixar-levels of fun for the entire family. This isn’t made by Pixar nor is it even as good as their weakest offering, Cars (of which Planes is a spin-off). If your kids like Cars, give this one a go. I’m sure they’ll like it but you’ll probably be a little bored. It’s not bad – It just comes nowhere near some of the all-time classics we’ve had from Disney and Pixar in the past.

My Rating: 5.5/10

Thor: The Dark World Director Alan Taylor Will Make The Next Terminator Movie

Arnold Schwarzenegger is committed to return in the new film… Blah blah… It’s also believed that Linda Hamilton with return. Blah blah. And… possibly Michael Biehn! Oh yeah – I like a bit of Kyle Reese. 🙂

The film is to be the first of an entire new Terminator trilogy. Read more details here: Business Insider

The X-Men Girls Club Art – No Boys Allowed

Cute! Called “No Boys Allowed” by artist Skottie Young.

Link: GeekTyrant

You’re Next (2011) Review (Yeah – the current horror film)

You’re Next (2011?? What? Apparently so… Looks like it spent a couple years at film festivals first)

Directed by Adam Wingard

Starring:
Sharni Vinson
Nicholas Tucci
Wendy Glenn
A. J. Bowen
Joe Swanberg
Barbara Crampton
Rob Moran
Ti West

Running time: 95 minutes

Plot Synopsis:

The Davison family gathers at a remote house in the woods (as you do) to celebrate the 35th wedding anniversary of their parents. While celebrating, the family is attacked by a gang of masked invaders.

My Opinion:

It’s been too long since I’ve gone to a movie (like, a month!). After spending the past couple of days catching up on reading all the blogs here, I read loads of extremely positive reviews for You’re Next (plus one blogger who hated it). So, even though I’m not really a modern horror fan and a massive wuss about gore, I said what the hell as it’s only 95 minutes long and went to it.

Now, I’m just back from this and still trying to collect my thoughts but figure I should get this review out there quick otherwise I’ll never get around to it. Normally I like to think about the film for a day or two. I’m not entirely sure yet how I feel about it. I think there are some good things about it but I was disappointed that there wasn’t even more dark humor than there actually was – from the reviews I read I thought there’d be a little more of that. What there was, I enjoyed (especially at the end).

I liked that there’s a strong female lead. I get bored with women in horror movies seeming to only be there to flash their tits and then die horribly. I suppose I liked some of the more “inventive” deaths but, not being a fan of gore or slasher flicks (other than the cheesy 70s & 80s ones), it was a bit hard to watch. And I didn’t exactly watch the screen the whole time! So… I suppose I’m not actually the best judge on just HOW gory it got. Certainly sounded rather, um… Juicy at times! Okay – I think it’ll be easier to just break this one down into what I liked and didn’t like so much…

What I liked:

– Like I said, a strong female lead who isn’t just there to show us her boobs.

– Some inventive deaths although really too violent for this wuss.

– Barbara Crampton played the mom. And she’s aged really well. The chick from Re-Animator! And Chopping Mall, which I love but shouldn’t. That kind of horror is more my speed… And, um, The Young & The Restless! I used to watch it when I lived in America, okay?! So sue me. :-p

– The animal masks were pretty cool.

– The dark humor but I wished there’d been more .

– The fact that the guy who directed a movie I just happened to watch two nights ago (Ti West – The Innkeepers) is actually in this. (I love IMDB). FYI: I preferred The Innkeepers to this.

– The length. Maybe bad for a film-lover to admit but I think horrors & comedies don’t need to be much more than an hour and a half long.

– The music at the end. It was a bit… I don’t know. Reminded me of The Thing with a little bit of Dawn of the Dead? I know too little about movie music to continue this discussion – just thought it worked well at the end of the film.

– The second half. I thought it started out quite slow and took a fairly long time to get interesting. But it really picked up speed about halfway through.

What I Didn’t Like So Much:

– Too violent.

– Not enough of the dark humor – more would have made this one better. I’m not talking Tucker And Dale Vs Evil levels of humor (I loved that one – and it gives me a chance to link to a review of mine, I guess! Review HERE). But there’s so little that it almost felt out of place.

– Felt a little pointless (PART 1). We’ve seen home invasion movies a lot and others have done it better. It felt like a pretty standard home invasion flick but with more gore. It will be and probably has been compared to The Strangers, which I thought was better in terms of suspense & creepiness. Also think I preferred the film Ils (Them). And (I’m going to get in big trouble for this one and have a bunch of you horror fans yelling at me) I liked The Purge better than You’re Next (I won’t go into full detail on that now – my review is HERE if you’re bothered). The Purge at least had a great concept even though it wasn’t as well executed as it could have been. You’re Next has an extremely simple concept we’ve already seen many times but its execution was better than that of The Purge. So I guess it depends on what you prefer from a film…

– Felt a little pointless (PART 2). As far as the violence… I don’t always get as into violent films like these when the people don’t seem THAT horrible but we have to watch them die in awful ways. Other bloggers have said the family is unlikeable so it’s fun watching them die but, aside from a brother who comes across as a prick, they don’t really seem deserving of the excessive violence. But that’s probably just me – I’m not a fan of all the torture porn that’s around these days. You’re Next doesn’t fall into that category but the violence feels a little unnecessary at times. Or… Pointless. Not that every film (and certainly not every horror film) NEEDS to have a point. But… I don’t know what I’m trying to say so I’ll sum this up now.

Summary:

You’re Next is a pretty standard home invasion flick but with more gore, a couple inventive deaths, and a sprinkle of dark humor. Horror fans who love the more violent films of the genre will like this one. Luckily a strong female lead helps make up for some of the film’s weaknesses and the final half of the film is much stronger than what I thought was a pretty slow start. Overall I don’t think it’s a bad film – it’s a decent enough film for its genre but doesn’t feel as fresh & original as I was kind of expecting from the many reviews that I’d read. Maybe I’m just too picky these days?

My Rating: 6/10

**I suppose I’ve not even mentioned the other horror film that’s received lots of praise this year too – The Conjuring. Much more my type of horror and I feel it’s more worthy of the praise it received. Review HERE.